Okay, I'm a mother of four and no, I don't know how to do this.....I never had to do it with my other three. They all weaned themselves. I have a 15 month old he eats three full meals a day. Eats regular table food. I breast feed him twice at night and during the day at a variety of times. I think breast feeding has become like dessert to him or the perfect way to finish off a meal. Sometimes it's a snack or sometimes it's an appetizer before a meal. Sometimes it's just for comfort too. He doesn't use the breast to go to sleep because I usually put him in his bed awake and he has no trouble nodding off. My question? How do I get him off now without using the obvious denial method which is so frustrating for us both. My other kids weaned themselves at 10/11 months and were happy to have formula. He will not have it. My husband has suggested maybe I might have to go away for a few days.....that happened with one of our kids by accident...but at the same time he's doubtful that he'll stay off once I come back. Somebody help me, I'm ready to have my body back!
Maybe if you go away for a few days you will "dry up" and then it won't be as satisfying for him??? Good luck
at 15 months he can have regular milk... my son wouldn't take it plain but with a teaspoon of Nesquik he loves it. Nesquik has less sugar than ovaltine and just as many added vitamins. good luck!
well i breast fed for 27 months for the same reason..just seemed like he didn't want to quit..well he did quit for one month at 15 months..but then i noticed i still had milk and started up again at 16 months..but i got sick last june and had to go on antibiotics and had to quit cold turkey..
it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be..but he understands more now..so i was able to say..
"owie for mommy" and "booby all done" ....you could always try putting the nail biting stuff on your boobs so he gets a bad taste when he tries to nurse?
or give him a bottle instead or a sippy when he tries to nurse ..maybe with some chocolate milk mixed in to make it really yummy..my friend did that w/ ovalteen ..i have used almond chocolate milk you can get it at Trader Joe's...
good luck..i had to go cold turkey.
My 16m old is feeding 3x a day, but I'm willing to let him self wean for the rest. I'm assuming we'll get down to 2x a day then once. I read the Womanly Art of Breast Feeding by Le Leche League International ALOT of great ideas. Take out one feeding, the one he's less interested in and nurses shorter for by distracting him with toys, story, water play, snack... wait a few weeks then try another one. Don't take away too much at once, it's not healthy for them.
Could you wait and let your child self-wean like your other children were able to? It's a gift of love and patience only you can give to him. One day you may look back at this time and this child (perhaps your last?) and consider it was a gift to yourself as well.
It sounds like he isn't ready to wean yet.
But if you're going crazy then perhaps you could get some advice from la leche league or your pediatrician.
Dr Sears has a good breastfeeding book that addresses weaning gently.
Furthermore, I think the advice given below was intended to be helpful but using the word "creepy" was really rude. I know a lot of people who allowed their children to self-wean and going for over 3 years is not unusual.
Perhaps it is because of remarks like that that people feel that they need to wean their babies at 6 months and pass judgement on anyone who is nursing a toddler. Perhaps it is a bit strange in our culture but the word "creepy" is completely off-base and judgmental. You are entitled to your feelings and opinions but things like that are better off kept to oneself.
The spice/herb "sage" will dry up your milk supply. This works well if you are weaning. Mix a quarter tsp. in a glass of water and drink it. Taste like tea. Get it in the spice isle in powder form. good luck.
I just weaned my 15 month old little guy who loved nursing. He used it as a pacifier and as a comfort tool. I just made my mind up to wean and did it super slowly. I would cut out one nursing time from our day every 1 or 2 weeks. I gave my guy a sippy cup of milk or juice whenever he asked during a time I had cut out. The night time feedings were harder and I had to ask my husband to help out by rocking him to sleep--if I did it he was frustrated and wanted to nurse. After a few days my little guy just started sleeping though the night. Our last feeing ended up being an early morning feeding. When I was ready to cut that one out I had to get out of bed and offer a sippy cup along with some breakfast. He hardly seemed to notice once the one feeding disappeared.
R.,
you are going to get a ton of advice! My four are all weaned and sleeping in thier own beds. (haha!) Just went through helping my sis, who had to wean at the same time as you due to meds for a tumor...her child was really a tough nut, and it worked beautifully for her...
In summary, she took a multi step approach.
1) limiting the time gradually for each nursing
2) new routines like special time with a book
3) using a band aid on the nipples after a nursing and after the very last one. this was a reminder, and a visual for her child. She felt badly about the owie fib ,but the story was on a level the little one could comprehend.
there was some crying, but she really did this gradually over a period of a few weeks.
Some moms leave any nights for last, some start with the nights.
(Many moms find that by limiting nursing times and length alone, that the toddler nursing relationship can continue happily after the 'forced compromise.')
Regardless, good job! Well done. Best to you!
lovingly,
L. Polzien,LLL Leader(ret)
Is there a reason you want to wean now? If it's because you think it's time, then maybe just hold off for a while? Every baby is different, and some just need the mommie-time a little bit longer. I nursed my second one until he was almost three, even though my older one weaned himself at 17 months.
If you're wanting to wean because you're beginning to resent it, then yes, you need to wean (and no judgment here [grin]. He needs to be done when you are, lol).
Two things I used to wean my younger son, who still would like to (he's just over 3). The first is what La Leche League recommends: "Don't offer, don't refuse." If he wants to nurse, let him have a quick nurse, but don't remind him that it's time -- he'll forget more and more frequently.
The second one worked really well for me, but mine was older: put band-aids across your nipples and tell him that the breasts (or nummies or whatever you call them) are broken. Leave the band-aids on for a while and when he goes for the breast it will remind him that he needs to give you a break.
BTW, having my younger son breastfeed longer came in really handy; we had to take him to the ER and it was the only way to feed him and calm him down. I was really grateful that I still had that (he was almost 2 at the time). If you're not sure it's time to stop, then don't.
Good luck!
P.S. "drying up" doesn't work for a really determined nurser. I've been dry for 3 months now, and my son still asked to "eat." I let him and asked "isn't it empty?" He said "yes" and kept nursing. Go figure.
Maybe take something to dry you up, then that sense of hormones wont be there, they can feel the hormones of your body, its like a natural pull for them. Once you dry up ( not sure how long it takes ) I had a friend that breast fed her son up until he was almost 4 yrs old, now that is just plain creepy
Both of my two older ones nursed once a night until they were 21 months. If he will take a sipper cup I would just force fulids. Also if he will take a pacifer that can help. My son is now almost 3 and because of his almost 5 month old little sister still thinks that he should get to nurse. All I can say is you just have to stand your ground. My oldest on the other hand never tried to go back. She was also my only child that took a pacifer by choice.
i'd like to hear some feedback as well as i am running into the same problem with my 15month old...
I agree with TA. Breast feeding is a personal decision/choice and having people label it as creepy is inappropriate. What's creepy about giving your child food and comfort? As for your desire to wean, try to drop one feeding at a time. Distract him with toys or a story, or take him out somewhere like a park or indoor playground where he'll be involved in something else during a daytime feeding. I found the hardest ones to drop were the nighttime and first thing in the morning feedings. My youngest weaned herself at 10 months, but my oldest nursed until she was 2 1/2 years old. My milk had dried up. For dropping the nighttime feedings, I spooned both my daughters - they got the comfort they were desiring but since they were facing away from me, they couldn't nurse. It will take time to wean completely. Check out Dr Sears, La Leche League, and other breast feeding websites to find out how to wean gently. Good luck!
I am still nursing my 22 month old twins and there are times that have been really hard. I used Jay Gordon's method for nightweaning with one of them because he was a frequent night waker and it has helped tremendously! We tried it when he was around 16 months old but he just wasn't ready. We tried again at 20 months and now at 22 months he is happy to wait until 4:00 am for his one night nursing. During the day they were driving me nuts because they would both want to nurse and they just were crawling all over me. Just this last month I told them they could nurse when they wake in the morning, from their nap and before bedtime. It took a few days - maybe a week - but they are fine with it. I just make sure to pay a lot of attention to them in other ways and show them that I love them and can give them affection with kisses hugs and snuggles. My frequent night waker now runs up to me to give me hugs and kisses quite often which he didn't do before. So that tells me that at least some of the time he was nursing for affection. My other son still gets nursed to sleep and at night when he wakes because he doesn't that often, but I am at the point of needing to night wean him - he is waking more often and yelling "Milk!" It's cute but I am very tired.
Good luck! Just do what feels right - if it doesn't feel right wait a few months and try again. I am sorry I don't have Jay Gordon's link to give you - but if you find it you will see how supportive it is of us breastfeeding/attachment parenting moms.
P.
Congrats on nursing for 15 months! (Not to mention congrats for nursing 4 children!!) I'm a mom of 3 and I have weaned 2 children so far. (I'm still nursing #3). My second daughter weaned herself, but my first daughter needed some help. Weaning her was the most challenging, since I had expected to wean by her first birthday. She really was not ready by her first birthday, and would use her sign language for milk frequently. By 14 mo though, I was pregnant with my second, and I really was ready to wean. BTW, I had stopped offering the breast by this point, only responding to her requests. At 14+ mo, I started watching Baby Einstein videos with her during the typical nursing times with her snuggled on my lap, hoping that it would distract her sufficiently and provide the closeness she needed. She really enjoyed them, and I would point out colors, shapes, and animals, which she really responded to. I was so tired with my pregnancy, that I welcomed the down-time with her and the snuggling. Anyway, by the time she was 15 mo old, when she asked to nurse (using her signs), I tried to distract her. If she asked again, I would nurse her. During her 15th mo, she went 3 days being easily distract-able or not asking, so I decided to hold firm and declare our nursing relationship complete. When she asked on the fourth day, I told her that she was getting so big that we didn't do that anymore, and offered her the sippy cup, which she was used to getting water from. She was a little sad, but was receptive to taking cow's milk from a sippy. (She had been taking cow's milk for a month or so from a sippy, so it wasn't a total shock).
Good luck to you!!
