Weaning a Baby Who Breastfeeds to Sleep

gonna be rough with a few nights of crying, no way around it. Try to do on Weekend so all can get naps in.

Hi, There is a great book called "the No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley that may give you some ideas. good luck!

Hi, S.!
First of all, congratulations on breastfeeding your daughter AND for nursing beyond a year! That is such an accomplishment & you should be very proud of yourself!

I know that it is really difficult and as a first-time mom, it seems as though that phase is going to last forever! However, in reality, you probably have only a few more precious months that she would want to nurse at all. And believe me, it FLYS BY!

Most children wean themselves between 18-24 mos or so.

You could try the "don't offer, don't refuse" approach with nursing/weaning. It's a very gentle, gradual approach and is probably the most loving way to encourage her to wean.

There is also a plethera of info on "extended nursing" on www.KellyMom.com I highly suggest that you check it out!!!!

Lastly, as an extra little "push" in your motivation, recent studies have shown that nursing for 2 years or more can reduce your risk of female cancers by 50%!!!!! And some studies are now suggesting that by nursing a baby girl, you may reduce HER risk of female cancers later in life as well! It truly is the gift of love and life that you give your child by nursing!

Congratulations again!!!!

Start eating lots of garlic and cauliflower, lol! This will change the way your milk tastes, and that may work. Include your husband in the falling asleep time by having him cuddle with the two of you and rubbing her back or singing to her. Make it his job to initiate the bedtime routine, changing her to jammies, clean diaper etc ... enjoy the time you still have with her as a baby/toddler .. it goes so fast!

It is a comforting time for her and if you can just hold and rock her without breastfeeding her it willgive her that part of it for her comfort and slowly let her know your warmth is there.Joanie In Effort, PA

Hi S.. I breastfed my daughter to sleep for the first year. Then I moved nursing to an earlier part of her routine. I would give a bath or put on PJs, then nurse, then read to her with her facing away from me, and I was surprised at how well she handled it. When it was time to put her down, I played lullibies and rocked her a little until she was drowsy enough to lay in her crib. If she got up, I would rock her a little more. It was a process, but it definately helped when she was ready to wean completely. If she woke up at night, it was easier for my husband to get her back to sleep. Even though he had to get up for work the next day, it was something he got up and did for me temporarily to help with the process. He says he didn't mind and it definately helped with the baby's expectations of when breastfeeding will occur. Good luck. There is a way to encourage your daughter that is gentle, especially since you seem to have the right attitude.

Hi S.-
I breastfed my now three year old to sleep for the better part of his first 2 years and that go to sleep feeding was the HARDEST to wean him off of. But it happened and he now goes to sleep by himself and we never used any cry it out method.

So here is what I did.
1. In the beginning, as he was drifting off to sleep, I would break his latch so that he did not fall completely asleep with my breast in his mouth. If this woke him fully (which it sometimes did) I would try to sooth him down without letting him reattach (rocking, back rubbing, etc).

2. After he got used to falling asleep without the breast, I started to space the timing of his last nursing away from his bedtime (like ending 5 minutes before, 10 minutes, etc)- I didn't want him to feel like I was cutting him off althought, especially at this point since he was starting to learn to sooth himself to sleep.

3. As he got used to ending his nurse a couple of minutes before bedtime instead of while asleep, I stared to cut down on how long I let him nurse at night.

4. Finally we dropped the nursing altogether and my husband started to put him to sleep.

Altogether, it took about 2 months to wean him from his bed time nurse. If you can, it may be a good idea to start soon, b/c at around 18 months kids tend to go through a very clingy phase and weaninng them then is even harder.

Good Luck
L.

There's lots of great advice in the responses so far. My third is now 4 months. My first, I breastfed to 20mos, my second to 16 months. Around 12 mos with both I started to offer cows milk in a sippy cup. They'd been having water in a cup for months at that point, so the cup wasn't new, just the milk. Neither took to it, so I tried Silk brand soy milk with vanilla flavor. After offering it several times, they took to it. You could do a mix of breast milk and soy and slowly to more soy, less milk til it's all soy. We went wit a don't offer/ don't refuse method for some time and came up with a new routine at bed time. Breastfeeding earlier in the routine and introduced the cup at bedtime. This was all in verrry slow stages :) Once we got to the point that they were taking some soy milk and some level of acceptance of daddy doing/helping with bedtime, I eventually went away for two nights. With my oldest, their were some tears while I was away. With my second, she didn't even ask for me. When I returned, no more breastfeeding. :) Good luck!

Ugh. I did this. My 4th baby, I breastfed forever. And then the getting-to-sleep thing. She's 8 and still doesn't like milk.

Set your mood first. Be calm, like when you're nursing her. If she's used to being rocked, rock her facing outward. Blanket, security item, new ritual. It's the ritual more than the feeding. Read, sing, cd of songs, dim lights, pick up toys, etc. It will take more than a few nights, and of course, she'll scream. Find the mood you were in when you would nurse her to sleep... and stay in it. You're still a source of calm and soothing.

When I weaned my son the last one to go was also the before bedtime feeding. What I did was if I normally nursed for 10 minutes, I would decreas the amount of time by a minute or two every few nights. I think I did that about once a week. after a few weeks (and a bit of backtracking cause sometimes he wasn't ready for the next stepdown) he wasn't nursing everynight and the nights he was it was for only a few minutes. Then one day I just told him no more and that was about it. I stayed in his room with him a little longer that night and that helped since I was still in the room with him. Good luck and don't let a little set back upset you, just try again the next day. I thought he would never wean and then all of a sudden he was all done.

I did the same thing with one of my sons, he nursed until he was 2.5yo. I started a more defined routine, which in the beginning included nursing. I continuously shortened the time that I would allow him to nurse, until it wasn't at all. We still snuggled and I stayed with him until he was asleep. He would sometimes fuss because he wanted more, I had to be sure before even going to bed that he was full and not hungry. It's a LONG process, because then you have to break them from needing 'you' to fall asleep. I would not start a bottle, she wants you more than anything. Eventually my husband was able to help, too. He is 5 now and still requires one of us to be in his room when he falls asleep and we are still slowly working on breaking that habit. I never let him 'cry it out' and despite his need of our presence as a security to go to sleep, he is a very well adjusted kindergartener.

If she's 15mos old already stay away from the bottle. It's only one more thing to wean her from. Switching from one thing to another is not the way to go. You could try keeping her up. See if she will go to sleep on her own because she's tired instead of at the breast. You will probably still have a couple of nites where she will cry. My dd is 2.5 and I just weaned her. She sleeps with us, so that is how I started it. If you co-sleep with her, you could just snuggle with her until she falls asleep. Of course that means you will have to listen to her cry but you would be right there soothing her.
hth
V.

I had the same dilema with my daughter. I would nurse her and as she was getting drowsy I would remove my breast and replace with a pacifier. She wasn't keen on the pacifier at first, but I found warming it in my hand worked. I also bought a pacifier used for dispensing medicine and instead put breastmilk into it (my husband travels for work during the week, so I had no choice but to be creative). I would still craddle her in the same manner as if she were nursing until she was sleeping and then place her in her crib. Gradually I would use only the pacifier until she would accept a regular or empty pacifier. Luckily she would spit out the pacifier once she was completely asleep, maybe a few minutes and I would sneak in and remove it. She self weaned from the pacifier at 19 months, so I was lucky. You have recieved some great advise in the previous posts, I wish U luck!

I am totally with you on this, my daughter was 2 years and a month before i totally was able to wean her from nursing. she used as a comfort, which most do. How i started was in the middle of the night i brought a sippy of water up with me and gave that to her when she awoke, after about a week she finally began not getting up to nurse.(she was about 20months) About 1 month later i started with nap time, i would sit with her on the rocker in the livingroom and put on a movie that she liked again had a sippy there filled with water or milk, at first she wasnt to thrilled about not nursing, but again after 2 weeks it got easier. the last to get rid of was bedtime, she was about 2 years and a month and i stopped nursing due to being pregnant. i stopped this one in the same way i did with naptime. it took a little longer but finally i had weaned her. she now at 2 years and 10 months goes to sleep by herself without a problem. you just have to find what technique works for you and your daughter. i could never let mine cry it out, first it bothered me plus she would never give up and would eventually vomit in her crib and fall asleep, so i would have to wake her up to clean her and then do it again. i couldnt, so this did take longer, but its what worked.

hope this helps.

A.

I breastfed my son until he was 16 months old. He did the same thing he would not fall asleep unless he nursed. A family emergency happened where my son had to stay at my moms for a few nites and when he came home after two nites of being away no more nite nursing.

My daughter will be 16 months next week and she just weaned 2 weeks ago from the nighttime breastfeeding in which she would fall asleep. I took the 'don't offer, don't refuse' approach about a month ago and she kind of fell into the routine of not asking for it. She does drink cow's milk and I offer her (still do) the nighttime sippy cup prior to bed,sit with her in the rocker, read her a few books, sing, dim the lights, etc. I then put her in the crib and she WILL cry(and I can't do the cry it out) so I stand by her side rubbing her belly or back until she falls alseep.

She surprised me. My goal was to have her weaned from the nightime by 18 months and she did it on her own. I will say that if she wakes in the middle of the night, she does want the breast to soothe herself back. Sometimes I give it, sometimes I rub her back until she falls asleep- usually depends how tired I am.

I would either let her self-wean or pick a routine at night and stick too it. I think it all depends on your parenting style in a way. Be patient and she will eventually adapt to a new routine - congrats on making it 15 months!

hello- i dont have any advice from personal experience - but have you tried pumping and putting your milk in a bottle/cup and have your hubby give it to her at bed time - and go from there?

It feels like so long ago since our son breastfed at bedtime. My husband started putting our son to sleep and giving him a bottle. I used to pump and so he would use breast milk in a bottle. It's not necessarily the breastfeeding your baby loves, it's the closeness with you. When we first started this my husband used to wear one of my shirts, so our son could still smell me and feel close to me without me being there. It took a few months but eventually our son got so used to my husband that he stopped wearing my shirts and I quit pumping. Our son was finally weened 3 weeks after his 2nd birthday. The hardest one for him to give up was the a.m. Thank goodness for Thomas on demand. Good luck!!