We Have to Euthanize Our Sick Kitty This Morning

There's no protocol that will make this easier. It's HARD. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I panic when I think that my 16 year old cat will go this way someday too.

Cheryl O has some great advice.

He's 15, so he should be able to understand that you need to get a few things done this afternoon. Just keep the house "quiet" for the afternoon and let him know that it's okay to interrupt your work if he's upset or if he just wants to bring a book in and read with you there. Adolescent boys have a very hard time showing emotion, so please encourage him to do so with your presence.

Worst case scenario... face time with the computer later tonight. I'm really sorry for your loss. We have two cats and while I am not an "cat person", I dread the day we have to put either of them down. My mother still cries when she thinks about having to put our family dog down. A pet is a family-member and this is a real loss for your son. At 8 he didn't "get it". At 15, he does.

Good luck.

When we put our dog down in Dec 08, it was a Monday and the day before we had gone to the park (the Vet had given him feel good drugs) so it was easier on my kids - their last memory of Obie was fun....

As to a cat - I've not had to put a cat down before - but I would tell my son - "I know this is a hard day for you - I'd like to run some errands and have lunch - we can share some good and funny memories of Thor....but please understand when we get home, I need to work...it doesn't mean I'm not hurting, it just means that I have to get stuff done. I love you."

He's 15, he should understand that.

I'm truly sorry you are losing Thor!! Pets are like kids!! HUGS to you!

Maybe he would like to think about a way to memorialize Thor? Our family worked on a garden plaque when our beloved dog died. We went to the craft store and got one of those do-it-yourself cement things with the mold. We bought lettering stamps and some glass pieces, and worked together to develop a design. We drew it out on paper first, the size of the actual mold, and set all the pieces in place. Then we made the mold, and when it was dry, we put it at our dog's grave.

Involve your son in the decision to bury or cremate - see what he would find comforting.

We also, in time, donated our dog's toys and accessories to a shelter for abandoned animals. It helped.

Let him cry and let him spend time by himself. Encourage him to write in a journal or diary. Maybe make a photo collage of Thor. Maybe a poem in the center? He doesn't need to make all the decisions today, but these are ideas he can think about.

Remind him that a person with great emotional capacity is a blessing to the world. It is wonderful to see that you are raising a young man with loyalty, sensitivity and the ability to love.

Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss.

There's no way not to make it a tough day. I'm sorry. We lost our 10 yr old cat to pancreatitis and cancer a few years ago. My stepson slept with the cat in his room til we had to bring the cat back to the vet for emergency treatment. I think your son sleeping in your room for the cat's sake shows how kind and sweet he is.

I'd just be honest - "I'd love to just let the feelings run, but I have to get work done, too. I'm here if you need me but I don't want you to think I'm being callous because I have to be on the computer. I'm not really feeling like lunch out, but would you like to do something special today or just go home?"

Hi L.!

I worked in a vet's office for a few years when I was younger (21-22) and even just being a receptionist, it was an emotional roller coaster. I think this will actually help your son if he becomes a vet because he has to deal with things like this. It can be very upsetting knowing animals are going into a room and not coming out alive even when they are not yours. I think this is an incredibly tough time for him but may end up helping him in the long run.

In the meantime, tell him to always remember the wonderful things about Thor - that is the best way to still love and care for him.

Good luck!
Barb

I'm sorry about your kitty. I was with my kitty years ago when we had to put her down. It is so sad. I think lunch would be a good time to just sit back and talk about all the fun times you had with Thor. Or ice cream. Maybe you can go to the park and sit down and chat. Your son is old enough that maybe after you spend some time talking that he wouldn't mind you having to work. I'm sure he would understand. Did you get a picture of your son and Thor recently? That may help.

some time to mourn together would be good. come home, talk about thor, look at pictures, cry. and then go about your various activities. it would probably be a good thing to tell your son exactly what you've said here, that you have some work to do and you're kind of grateful because it will let your mind have a short break from feeling sad.
let him figure out how he needs to handle this first hard day. he may want to grieve some more privately, or he may find that he too needs to distract himself briefly and then come back to it later.
such a hard thing. my heart goes out to you all.
may thor's passage be gentle, and his reunion joyous.
khairete
S.

Hi , I just went through this with my 20 year old cat Emma. My kids are younger but I think the feelings are the same. I guess that if I were you I'd take a moment with your son, maybe a quiet park, to sit and allow the sadness to be with you. This is an important moment to teach that emotions are okay. Give yourselves enough time to process the pain a bit and then when you've gone as far as you can go for that time, get a coffee or an ice cream or something you don't get to do very often.(Like dessert before dinner kind of thinking) The idea is to be very kind and loving to yourselves. When you are out try to move the conversation on to brighter subjects but if the sadness comes back allow yourselves another few moments. I think if you suppress the sadness and don't give it validation, you'll both be more miserable throughout the day. It takes a while, I still miss my Emma but we buried her in the yard and planted a tree there to remember what a good kitty she was.

I'm so sorry about your cat. I just had to put my cat down about 8 months ago. I had her for 15 years. I sat and watched the whole thing. After they let me stay in the room with her as long as I wanted. Once I was ready to leave, I sat in my car and just cried my eyes out. After I was feeling somewhat human again I got myself some lunch and tried to just go on about my day. It has been hard. I still think about her all the time. But, I think I am at the point now where I would like to get another pet, only thing now is that we have moved and the owner won't allow pets. So, someday. Take pictures before you leave with the cat and your son. Maybe go and pick out a nice frame after and hang the picture on the wall? I'm sorry, I wish I had more ideas.

Oh I am so very very sorry. I remember the day we had to do this with my sweet kitty who was 16. The good thing is your vet understands the connection between your son and Thor. My vet just let me cry it out while I was there. I had Jasmine before I even met my husband. I bet your vet will give you as much time as you need and want to stay with Thor.

My neighbor actually took my girls out for the day. She had them swim and took them for ice cream. Maybe you can get your sons best friend to come over an hang out. This might help him. Otherwise, I would just let your son morn the loss.

Again, I am so very sorry. This is the hardest part of being a pet owner.

Big hugs to you and your son!

Everybody mourns differently. You like to 'get on with things' right away. He may fall to pieces and really not be up to lunch and errands. Either way, both of you can respect the other's mourning style, right?

Just ask him what he wants to do. You can drop him off at home before you go do your thing, can't you?

Sorry bout your kitty. I've got a 12 yr old Golden Retriever whose days are numbered. It sucks.

:(

Just be available for him. Let him know it's okay to mourn (sounds like you're doing that already) and even okay to cry. Let him know that, even though you have some things that must be done, you are available to talk to him whenever he needs it.

Go to lunch anyway. It will give you time to sit together and talk and decompress. Even if you don't eat much, it will be time well spent (and you can always take the food home for later)

***HUGS TO BOTH OF YOU***

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know exactly how tough this is. My family has been through 4 dogs in a matter of 8 years. They all ended up getting cancer. Once my kids got older, it took a toll on them as well. We cremated all of our beloved dogs and they are all on top of our mantle. We even made a colage of their pictures.
Sending love and hugs your way.

I feel so bad for you and your son. This is such a difficult thing to go through. I have never had to make the decision to actually euthanizine my cat but I suddenly lost my cat 2 yrs ago, and he was only 7 at the time. He died of a seizure right in front of me in my husbands arms. I almost died along with him. He was such a part of the family and I was in shock for a while after he went because I just couldnt believe he was actually gone. I was also newly pregnant at the time that he died and I was a basket case of emotions. We had him cremated as well and have him on top of the TV because when he was alive he constantly got up on the TV where he knew he wasnt allowed (little stinker) =) We also have a picture of him right beside his urn. It is a really tough thing to go through and my heart goes out to you. Just remember that you will never forget him and time will help to heal the pain
Good Luck

I saw your post, and had to respond. I know what your son is going through. My beloved Pearl , was my kitty growing up. I had her from age 6-18. I too wanted to be a Vet when I grew up as well. I am glad he is going with you to the Vet. I remember being their with Pearl, and our Vet was very kind and gentle. It was very sad, but their was a feeling of peace as well. Afterwards, my mother and I went to the store and picked out a frame, and a little photo album. I had wanted to put some picture of her in an album so I could always have her with me. It was a nice way for me to remember her. I still have that photo album. By the way, my mother was a nurse, and had to return to work that day. She told me that she had to go back to work, but if I needed anything she would be there for me. I spent the day putting the pictures together. I am sure your son knows you care just as much as he does.

I am so sorry.

Been through that a coupel of times. I would probably come straight home, let him cry then maybe a lunch later. I was the one that had to take our cats in, and even though I worked in the vet field and am accustomed to the euthansia, being my own babies was worse than I was expecting. I had to sit in the car for about five minutes before I could drive home. Be honest with him that you could use the distraction.

I am not sure this will affect his decision to volunteer, it can be very painful but such a great experience. If he has a natural inclination to care for animals he will get used to it with out losing his compassion or drive to do so.

I'm sorry about Thor. It is heartbreaking. I know that one day we will be going through that with our dog and our daughter, Rachel,who has known Myra since birth. She is 18 months old and Myra (dog) is about 5 or 6. Rachel adores Myra and Myra loves her too. I hope it is many years before we have to think about it, and my heart breaks for you as you try to deal with it with your son. It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job. He is lucky to have a good mommy like you to help him deal with losing his kitty. Good luck and God Bless you, your family and Thor.

I just want to send you and your son a huge hug today. I have been in your shoes twice in the past year. Last year it was my beloved Schnauzer Daisy after a two year battle with a seizure dissorder and this past April is my sweet cat Sophie who had been battleing mammory cancer for about 3 years. I still grieve for them both and have pictures of them around the house. They were my babies before I got married and had a baby of my own. Pets are very much a part of your family and I found that it was easier for me to keep their memory a constant part of our family. My son is only two he does not remember Daisy but he does rememeber Sophie. He knows that they are angels and he helped me pick out the pictures of Sophie to put on the shelf. Maybe you and your son could come up with a special place in your home to put up a few favorite pictures of Thor and your family, mabey create a shadow box with a cute picture and a few of Thor's favorite toys.

Ughhhh... my heart goes out to you and your son. Losing a pet is so hard... but I think it's even harder to see them sick and suffering, and as hard as it is to put them down, it somehow eases our pain to know we could ease theirs. We had a cat that we had to put down about 7 years ago and we still miss him.

I'd let you son know that you have some work that has to get done today, but that he can come to you anytime if he needs a hug. And I guess I'd try to do some work and check in with him often. Let him play video games or read or whatever helps him cope for now~

Blessing and so sorry for your loss

I am so sorry that you have to make this decision. It is hard.
You are being a great mom by taking your son out of school today and letting him be a part of this. The vet's treatment of your family will help your son tremendously when he is a vet.
Tell your son what you have to do and why, that it helps if you keep busy. Let your son know how much you will miss Thor too. Let him know it is OK to cry. Ask him what he wants to do, have lunch, go home, visit the pound to hold other kitties.
His grief may take other forms and may look like anger. So be on the lookout. He is just processing the loss.

((((HUGS)))) to you adn your son. Our pets are family.