Hi All! I bought this book for my Son when he was about 18 months. It teaches that we are all created equal. It talks about how we all may look different, come from different places and like different things, but we all sing with the same voice....Great book!
He’s always enjoyed it especially since it comes with the song on a CD. He is now 5 and sings the song even more so now. We keep the CD in the car because he enjoys listening to it a lot. We also have a ton of other kid CD's in the car but it's always been his fav. It's a catchy tune.
There is a verse in the song that goes like this “I’ve got one Daddy, I’ve got two”. In the book is a picture of 2 men pushing a stroller. O.K. I never thought anything of it.
We’ve recently in the past few months been having play dates with a Mom and her 5 year old son. She came over and I played the CD for the boys and read along with the book. She was really displeased with the verse in the book and asked me if I really felt it appropriate. I immediately turned it off and apologized and told her I truly never thought it was a big deal. That’s what the book is teaching is that everyone is created equal, no matter how they choose to live, what they look like or where they live/come from. I showed her another book which is titled “Whoever You Are” and said it’s the same premise. She seemed SUPER offended.
Was that just really insensitive of me to play that song/read the book without considering how someone else might feel about that? I’ll keep the book to myself and my family from now on, but goodness it’s an amazing book. Was I wrong? YIKES I never push my opinions on anyone so I felt horrible!
We used to have that song on a Sesame Street video (Sing Along) and my whole family loved it. I can't imagine having a problem with teaching children to accept their fellow human beings.
Even if a person believes homosexuality is wrong, should a child of gay parents be shunned? Good grief! This song/book is about CHILDREN with diverse backgrounds!
I kind of miss that song, haven't heard it in a lot of years. Maybe I should get the CD. LOL
.
Sounds like your friend has her own issues. Maybe I'm naive but I would assume that a child with two dads has a birth dad and a step dad which in this day and age, many children do. The fact that she assumed it was implying homosexuality really speaks volumes about her mindset and her issues.
If she's important to you, I would apologize for offending her. If she's not that close to you, then forget about it and move on. Don't feel bad. I didn't think you were pushing your opinions on her. But it does sound like she was pushing her opinions on you. Good luck and Kudos to you for teaching your child that we don't have to all be the same and yet we are all equal.
Cudos to you!. I think it is great that you are teaching your son acceptance of everyone. It was not insensitive of you but a lack of tolerance on the other mother's part. You were not pushing your opinions on her...merely showing her books that you tho't were very good for our son. Your child will get along in the world a whole lot better than hers when they are adults. Keep up the good work.
Your play date mom just sounds homaphobic. It is good to respect others choices and beliefs but it sounds like you went into this totally innocent. Don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like a wonderful mother who is teaching important values to your child. We are all equal and I teach my children the same thing. An apology should suffice and if she holds a grudge or acts differently towards you, there are plenty of others who would love to have a play date with such an open-minded, non-judgemental person.
No, you were not wrong! Yes, we should consider the feelings of others, act with empathy and avoid behaviors that may be offensive... HOWEVER, we are NOT obligated (nor should we be) to consider the prejudices of others as we lead empathetic lives. The POINT of the song is that "we live in harmony," right? If the other mom is offended by the mere existence of another kind of family (a hypothetical one in a picture book at that) the SHE is the one being "insensitive."
The important thing is that all PEOPLE are equal but that doesn't mean all IDEAS are equal. You don't need to accommodate values that directly conflict with the ones you're trying to impart on your son.
Okay, that's my little rant for today :-)
I must admit, my sister-in-law gave me that exact same book when my daughter was around the same age! Ironically, I'm a raging liberal, and my sister-in-law is pretty far to the right! LOL! Now, as liberal as I am, I was pretty surprised by those lyrics as well! Mostly, because I thought they could lead to some uncomfortable questions. This ended up never happening. In fact, now that my daughter is in kindergarten, one of her friends at school DOES have two dads! My daughter STILL hasn't asked me about it. I guess the questions will come later. Or she just accepts it and doesn't think it's different. Oh, and BTW, that song was initially on Sesame Street, I believe.
Personally, I wouldn't edit my music based on whether it offends someone. My attitude is, if it offends, then I really wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway! LOL! But then again, I am a raging liberal! You have to do what your comfortable with. Frankly, I think the message you tried to impart was a good one. And again, the song was on Sesame Street!
That's my two cents!
I think instead of her being offended that you should have. Maybe next time make sure the person that you have play dates with have the same values as you, that way you can keep closeminded people away from your family. Hate and biggotry come in all sizes you have nothing to feel ashmed of. Shame on he for being in your home and not respecting it or your veiws. If you were at her home would you have been disrespectful??? Probably not!
I think you were totally fine, in fact if I were you, I would say she offended me. It is true people have different beliefs, but they shouldn't judge you or make you feel bad, if their thoughts/beliefs aren't in line with yours.
K.D.
As a mother, I WOULD have been offended for my child to have heard that song. It is very hard to know what her tone was in her response from reading your message, but sometimes when we are offended we tend to react in a way that we shouldn't. I think an apology from both sides might be appropriate. Keep in mind she was a guest in your home so maybe you should take the first step. An apology is not a time to defend yourself, but an offering of sorrow for offenses. Asking for forgiveness is also a good lesson to teach your child.
I think the spirit of the book is right on, but you might have to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone believes the same. It is controversial even if you don't see it that way.
It might not actually be that she thinks the book/song is bad. Maybe she has no problem with homosexuality but didn't think it was age appropriate for the children. It does raise a lot of questions that can shake the very foundation of a child - questions that might not be beneficial to bringing the child up within the parents' own belief system if they are conservative/christian/etc..., but also just questions that are tough to answer when they're young.
You should not feel terrible, there is NOTHING wrong with teaching children tolerance and acceptance, in fact this world would be a much better place if more parents were like you! I have never heard of that book, thank you for sharing about it. I am going to get it for my children right away. I would be careful about leaving your children alone with this other mother if I were you. She obviously has some bigoted views, and I would make it clear to her if she is around your children that you do not want them exposed to hate speech in any form. I would prepare your children for the fact that some in this world are intolerant of others. It has been my experience that that type of hate usually comes from a fear of what they do not understand. You are taking the first steps now towards raising amazing adults, unfortunately they will be sharing this nation with those raised by people like this other mom. One last thing, I would not apologize for playing that song in your own home or car, regardless of who is there. I would simply explain that if she wants to raise her children in hate, that is her choice, but you will not let it infect how you live or love.
Haha. I sang the song as a child, but it wasn't until I purchased the book for my children that I noticed those lyrics.
They lyrics do not actually imply that they are the only parents, it could be referring to a birth father and a step father...(though the photo in book does imply that)
You should not feel horrible; my goodness you weren't sitting the kids down showing them a documentary on gay parenting. I wouldn't be sure that I would want my child to play with a kid whose parent thinks speaking of kids with 2 fathers is "inappropriate". Families like that do exist, not talking about it doesn't change that.
Cheryl D. is right on! It was initially on Sesame Street. You're instilling good values in your children. Good job Mom!! Who cares what this other Mom thought! Phooey on her LOL
When my son was about 18 months we were in a Mommy & Me music class. That was one of the books they read and played along with the music. My Son loved it so much I went and bought it at Barnes & Noble. In fact, several of us Moms bought the Book/CD!
Maybe just to be on the safe side, show the book first to the parent and ask if they are o.k. with it. The alternative like you said just keep it for your family. =-)
I can imagine you felt horrible b/c it was not your intent. I can always see how people might not agree with your open point of view but unfortunately some ppl really say what they are thinking and don't consider the other person's feelings. Personally I do not think 5 yrs old is old enough to fully understand two daddys or two mommys. I think your child likes the song and has not read into it but someday might. I would not know how to explain that and then would not know how to explain where babies come from and how God created a man and woman to have a child. I am open minded but I say this b/c my son, 7, just asked the other night how a mommy has a baby and I explained that there has to be a mommy and a daddy...I did not go into adoption ,etc b/c that was not his question, it was about birth. If you are friends with this mom, call or email her explaining that you truly did not think much of it b/c your child does not think much of it. You are trying to teach him young about loving everyone and not hating. Tell her that you will gladly not play the CD again while her child is there. If you do not want a friend who is so sensitive and opinionated, leave it alone, you have apologized already. Lastly, I have realized over the last few years that depending on how a child is raised and their environment, some children are more aware of things, see things and hear things that others do not. For example, some children notice kissing and "other" things they see or hear on tv. My children, however, don't catch it. They don't notice each other's body parts, they don't ask about cuss words, etc Friends kids do. As far as your CD, I think your child is innocent and does not even think deeply about it yet while another child will. Another child may ask, "where is the mommy?"....You are doing fine, let it go and don't push equality so much at this age. Wait until he asks....
