My daughter is 13 and I'm going thru the typical teenage attitudes with her and just really wanna find things we could do together that don't cost a whole lot of money, free would be better cause I live week to week from my paychecks . Any suggestions?
Does she like animals? You could do some voluteer time at a local shelter - sometimes they just need people to come in and pet/play with them. Go for walks/hikes together.
Fanged Bunny's ideas are great!
What kinds of things do YOU like to do? Whatever you enjoy and know something about already, you could try and share with her. My mom and I would cook, garden, go on hikes and bike rides together when I was a teenager. I just liked being with my mom and talking to her. I don't think it would have mattered so much WHAT we did, just that she took the time out of her schedule to spend with me. (My mom worked full-time, too, and we didn't have a lot of spending money either. :)
Or if you don't think there's anything in your day-to-day life that the two of you would enjoy doing together, then how about looking into taking up something together? Around here, the community colleges have adult education (teenagers can sign up, too), and they have all kinds of very inexpensive classes from sewing to cooking to woodworking to yoga to knitting. It might be fun to try something new together. One time, my mom and I took a French Cooking class. A very fancy French woman taught the class. My mom and I had hours of hilarity re-creating the recipes at home, talking in the very fancy French accent that the teacher had. To this day, we can't talk about pate-a-chou without cracking up.
LISTEN to her. Have you been communicating, which should have started years ago?
Keep your ears wide open and listen to her. Communicate with each other, no topic off limits.
This is a tough age but you can get through it.
Volunteer, take a hike, feed the ducks, get a make up makeover, rake leaves, prune the garden, join a theater club, bake cupcakes and take them to the senior center, or the daycare center, exercise, ride your bikes, play scrabble or other board games, invite some friends over and make your living room into a home theater.
set a date, make it a standing date, take turns. one thursday its your pick, one thursday its her pick.
There's lots of fun to be had for cheap/ free.
good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Our library has a lot of free or low cost activities. I have 3 girls, oldest 15 ....i try to do alone time with the 2 older ones (youngest is a baby).
Bonding can be anything...grocery shopping, walmart, target trips. My girls love the library (well one more than the other haha). I sew baby blankets so they help me pick out fabric. When i scrapbook, they help. Sometimes it's getting an ice cream cone or coffee shop.....they love for us to grab a "coffee" and sit and talk in there.
Don't over complicate it....it can be stuff you are already doing but make a point to ask about her, her day, what she wants to be when she grows up, tell her stories from when you were her age-my girls love that.
Ok. When I was 13, I had the lowest possible self esteem. I went to a counselor to discuss my feelings, and my mom had no idea where I was coming from. I'm not 31 and wish my mom had reached out to me in any possible way! Since my self esteem was so low, I wish my mom and I had done something together... just me and her. Thinking back on it, I had acne issues. I wish we had gone to get free makeovers at the clinique counter or something. I know you don't have to buy anything, and it would be something fun you could do together! Also, try going to groupon.com, and see what deals there might be in your area. I like to get the deals that are for spa days, I know your paychecks might not allow you to do this, but perhaps you can choose a special day and get a groupon deal for you and her. For example, I recently purchased a groupon deal for two for $50, it was glass blowing! Hello, that's super cool! Maybe not fora 13 year old, but the deals are out there! maybe a special lunch or dinner, with just the two of you. But I'm telling you, I had serious self esteem issues, maybe you want to tap into that. Maybe your daughter is the strongest girl out there, but we all had our self-doubts.
At thirteen, they are trying to pull away from you, which is their job, since they need to work toward adult independence.
So she is probably not going to want to spend a lot of time with you or "bond" with you.
My suggestion is, tell her that you know she is in a phase where she's not that interested in mom, and that's okay, but that YOU are still interested in her, and you want some time with her.
So tell her that once a month, you want to have some special time with her, whether the idea thrills her or not. ASK HER what she wants to do during that time, and then do it, whether it's something that interests you or not. It may quite possibly be something like shopping at the mall, but even if you don't have much money you could still do that and buy her one or two cheap things.
When it comes from her, and it's something she agrees with, you will probably find that the two of you have a good time.
Well, I have 2 13 yr old girls. Each is different. They are both creative but one is more so and loves to draw, creates animation on her ipod. We do have some hard times but we also have times she shares with me and I try to make sure I put things aside to listen to her. Pick your battles. You don't have to agree with everything she wants but not everything is end of the world and worth arguing with her about. If she has chores, then she should get them done per your rules. Mine so try to get out of them or doing as basic as possible. We might argue about that. But we do have a lot of good moments vs bad ones. Go for a walk together, even if just walking around the block. Talk about things going on at home, at school etc. And yes, as already mentioned, she is going to pull away and want to be on her own or with friends more. Sometimes, it is easier to "bond" at night when everything is winding down.
