Wanting Another Child - Ypsilanti,MI

Considering your daughter is going to be 5 and your approaching 40, I wonder if he wants another child and just isn't being completely honest with you. Maybe find a good time where you're both in a good mood to ask him if he even wants another child.
In the end, this may be one of those issues where a counselor may help. This is a pretty big thing to disagree about and could affect your marriage. A third party could help the two of you work through talking about it, listening to one another and coming to an agreement.
Good luck!

He sounds like a planner and wants circumstances to be "right" before adding a baby. This is a responsible position to take and sounds just like my hubby. But, this is no fun, I realize! I have always kind of thought like you and figured things will work out and sometimes the best things are unplanned. We have one son who is 17 months old and are FINALLY trying for number 2 right now. What I had to do was really focus on financials with my husband - budgeting and crunching numbers so that he felt better about the situation. specifics and what you're willing to go without, if necessary. But first I had to be sure this was what he wanted and we always had talked about wanting kids close in age, etc. But first, I would have a REAL heart to heart with him and find out if this is what he really wants and wants to make another baby work. Let him know,without making him feel pressured, that this is very important to you. Point out the medical/health risks of having a child after the age of 40.

I am ready for another baby almost as soon as the one in my belly is born :) My husband, not so much! Our first daughter was an IVF baby and then we found out we were pregnant with our second surprise daughter just 6 short months after our first was born. So I was ready for a third and my husband wasn't quite on board yet. We live in Switzerland, so when it was time for my yearly check up (which I have to make in my awful french!) I told my husband that I was getting the Mirena taken out. We had been talking about trying for a 3rd and he wanted to wait a few months. I didn't want to have to call and make another appointment in a few months when he was finally ready (seriously my french is AWFUL!). Our youngest was 19 months. So I told him if he wasn't ready that was fine, then he needed to be responsible for birth control. I think it's only fair since I have taken care of BC for our entire relationship, he could do it for a few months until he got "ready". He was a little too lazy for that and now we are expecting our 3rd in Feb. He is very happy and excited about it, but I also know that my husband is a crazy planner and he will never be "ready" for babies! When I found out I was pregnant his response was "I thought that would take longer!" And then later in our discussions about the new baby he said, "To be fair, I wasn't ready for either of our other 2" LOL! So he just needed a little nudge to get ready! Good luck!

W., at your age, your husband is really just telling you no. He doesn't want you to know it though. By saying the stuff he is saying, he is just stringing you along, because he thinks that by the time he says okay that you won't be able to get pregnant anymore.

You two oughta go to counseling together so that he really has to talk about it with honesty.

I'm sorry about this.

Having children is a wonderful thing. I am 20 years old with a 7 year old boy, 1 year and 6 months old twin girls, a 9 month old girl and expecting another girl on October 31st. i knowing what you are thinking but I'm married and have a stable job and go to college. i wasn't ready to have children, but when they arrived, i was happy and overjoyed. my husband is in the army and he always helps me with our children. he bought a house for us to live in as a family. my parents were disappointed at me with my first child, but now they want to be with my children everyday. i thank God for letting me have my children. after the last is born, i will have my tubes tied and no more children. i am happy with the children i have. If you want to and are ready to have children, go ahead. it's your decision and your body.

Tell him he needs to decide if he wants another child or not. He may just not want one and doesn't know how to tell you. I think 5 years is too long too. My brother is 15 years older and my sister is 11 1/2 older. It was hard all through my life since they were so much older, they were married by the time I started school. It was hard for us to ever find common ground too. I am close to my sister now but I haven't seen or heard from my brother since right after our mom's funeral. My sister and I have more in common and both do some of the same hobby's.

I think you are old enough and stable enough to have as many children as you want, tell him so.

Child spacing at this point is just not the issue. Even if you gave birth 9 months from today, the kids would not likely be close or even playmates for a few years. It won't matter however when they are adults. My sisters are 10 and 12 yrs old than I and we are best friends. However, your financial situation is obviously of concern to both of you. Debt really stresses a pregnancy, and you don't want that. Waiting till after the first of the year when some debts are settled, respectfully approach your husband again with your desire, and see if he agrees that you should add to your family. I highly disagree with any wife trying to convince her husband to have more children. It usually ends in a disaster for the relationship especially when raising the child becomes difficult at some point (and i will!). My husband was content with 1 child and I was not. I brought up the subject when she was 18 months old and he was opposed. 6 months later, he had a complete change of heart (I didnt' nag, I just prayed) and we started trying for #2. It took 6 months for us to conceive, but I had peace knowing that our relationship was in great shape and we BOTH wanted this baby. Don't get too concerned about your biological clock just yet. A few months won't matter in the grand scheme of things, but pressing the issue with your husband might. Best wishes! Nurse Midwife Mom