Many of you have probably by now heard about the judge in Texas whose daughter posted a video on YouTube of him beating her with a belt when she downloaded some music/games from the internet illegally. The video was from maybe 7 years ago and she set up a hidden camera in her room when it happened. Anyway the whole story is atrocious - the video is out there for people to see. This man is a judge for pete's sake and the whole thing just sickens me. When confronted after the video came out, he said it "looks a lot worse than it is," yeah right. Sicko.
So the reason I'm posting is that, in light of this story, cnn.com's daily poll question is: "Do you feel that corporal punishment by parents is appropriate for children?" 65% said YES. 35% said no. Really?? I'm in the minority that thinks children should be disciplined and educated with non-physical means? That percentage of our population thinks that hurting children is the way to teach them? Now I am fully cognizant of the fact that there is a difference between a parent beating their child with a belt and delivering a swat on the butt. But let me just share that, as a child, I was spanked. Not beaten with a belt, but spanked. For me it was humiliating and hurtful. I felt shame, and it was fear, not growth and being more educated by my mistakes, that might have stopped me from repeating the action that got me spanked before.
In my house we practice love, respect, sharing, learning, warmth, health, fun, and silliness. I have made absolutely sure to create a beautiful home life that my children feel safe in. Of course we have our imperfect moments of raising our voices or being grouchy. But my kids love our family and love living in our house and that is my greatest accomplishment to date.
So what are your thoughts on this? Am I really in the minority?
Thanks for the feedback I'm getting so far. To the people that aren't fully reading my post before responding, I do state that I recognize there is a difference between beating with a belt and spanking. However I happen to be against both. I do respect the moms who say they spank in the rare occasion of imminent danger, I personally don't do that, but every mom has their way I guess. What I don't understand is when parents spank when they are angry or their child is on their nerves.
And a paddle? A wooden spoon? That's better because "mommy and daddy aren't hitting him?" Geez.
@B (what does the B stand for?) So this punishment is appropriate because a girl with cerebral palsy downloaded some music from the internet? Ok downloading something illegally is wrong, no one is disputing that, but this is the way it should be handled? And I'm sorry but if you weren't disturbed by that video something is wrong with you. You need a hug, B! More love in your life or something! Wow.
This kind of violence was not around me growing up, and I really wish I could give B a big hug right now. No one should have that kind of violence be the norm in their life.
Beating a child while screaming at them and smacking them with a belt is completely different than spanking a child.
While I certainly think that love, respect, sharing, and all the rest are lovely, sometimes I good swat on the butt is needed too.
JMO
L.
Yes you really are in the minority. It is not like I go around beating the stuffing out of my kids but I will not take that punishment off the table. I have four kids and I can count on one hand the times any of them have been spanked. By spanked I mean a one of crack across the backside never in anger. My kids know if I walk away they have pushed me over the edge.
My parents, as every other parent at that time, beat the stuffing out of me for everything. I don't do that because it is ineffective as a punishment not because I am scarred for life. I am pretty sure whatever that judge did was nothing like the norm in my day.
I want to give Rachel a dozen flowers for her @Bug. Again only because that stat is useless.
Hi there,
I was spanked as a child. Not in determent from safety hazards, but regular punishments. My dad used a belt and my mom used a plastic, flat spoon. It was not measured, it was out of anger and my dad has anger issues.
Flash forward, yes, I have spanked my child on the bottom. Flat hand, over clothing, more like a pop. I can count on one hand the number of times. It was always for dangerous situations.
Let me say that the belt and spoon "spankings" that I received were not good for me and contributed (not the only factor, though) to the issues of resentment that I had with my parents for a long, long time ... well into my 20s and actually into my 30s when I finally got everything off my shoulders and my parents and I had a big blowout. You see, I wasn't a problem child. I was a good kid. I brought home straight As, was respectful and never got into any real trouble. But this was how they disciplined. And it had a very negative effect on me.
Added: I also agree that spankings as punishment for teenagers -- no, no, no!
A., there's a difference in a pop on the bottom to get a kid's attention and make them mind, and a beating with a belt, the likes that are on this video. OneAndDone wrote about this on a thread last night, and to my shock, there's a mother on there who doesn't see anything wrong with a "butt-whooping" after watching the video twice.
I was also shocked to see some actually think in terms of her showing the video as an act of revenge. This man is a judge and holds power over every person who walks into his courtroom. That includes child beaters, wife beaters, molesters, anyone who downloads music illegally. Why would we want ANYONE who beats someone with a belt or beats their wife to be in this position of power? I'd like to know which one of the people who think that she shouldn't have posted this video, whether then, or now, were PERFECT in their teen years? She didn't deserve all those beatings, even if she didn't have cerebral palsy. Thank God she has let the cat out of the bag to hopefully prevent this man from passing his horrendous judgment out on people.
To anyone who thinks it's alright to "butt-whoop" a disabled teen, I feel sorry for your children, because it sounds to me like any infraction of theirs would get them a "butt-whooping". And if I saw anyone treating someone like this man did his daughter, I'd call the police and social services.
A., as for your question, I spanked my kids when they were little, very infrequently. Only open hand on their fully clothed bottom. It was to stop something that could be unsafe, like running in the street, or hitting their sibling, so they knew what it felt like to get hurt. It helped. I don't have one problem in the world with parents who don't do that, though I think a parent should NEVER tell a little kid that they will never get a spanking. And there is a huge difference in a spanking and a beating. This girl got a beating. And no parent should ever do this to a teen. A teen is too old and that kind of altercation can turn into a homicide - parent OR teen.
Dawn
While I do use spankings at times, let me say this... If my husband ever even acted like he was going to beat my child with a belt, he'd have a shovel in the head before he could get any farther. Now, of course, my husband wouldn't even dream of something like that, I'm just sayin'...
The guy went WAY overboard!
I have spanked my children. i did use a belt ONCE. and that was all that was needed - once. No one is perfect.
This has already been brought up on this site today. See Denise P's (now One and Done's) post. http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/8191028690193416193
While the man went over board. We do NOT know both sides of the story. And many people preach that on here when someone posts about someone on food stamps driving off in an Escalade...we get slammed because we don't know the WHOLE STORY...
She recorded this. So does that mean she had primed them? did she push their buttons to the point of obscene? did she continually do something the parents had told her NOT to do and this was the final straw?
While I don't like what they did - once SHOULD have been enough - we don't know the whole story. We don't know what she did to instigate it either...are you telling me as a 16 year old you didn't do something JUST TO PISS YOUR PARENTS OFF? Now in the advent of technology, kids fighting just to get their 15 minutes of fame on Youtube...are you saying she's totally innocent?
I don't agree with how many times she got whopped. But seven years is a long time and it just makes me wonder WHY on earth she recorded it...makes you wonder what her reasons were....
I don't believe in corporal punishment in any form, not a swat on the butt, not spanking, nothing. To me, hitting a kid teaches them that it's okay for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people and stronger people to hit weak people. Not for me!
So stealing (illegal downloading) is ok?
Your kid breaks the law and you're suppose to shake your finger at them
'You've been a naughty boy/girl', tell them not to do it again and leave it go at that?
I'm betting this wasn't a first offense and talking wasn't working.
Maybe having her arrested and having her pay a fine would have been better.
She wants to see him get some help and this wasn't vindictive?
I don't believe that at all.
She's smug with revenge.
Has any reporter thought to ask her if she's still stealing?
Additional:
I watched the video.
People must live incredibly sheltered lives if this shocks them.
Any woman that's been to a shelter can tell you that as beatings go - this was a non event.
I've seen girls in high school beat on each other far worse - with hair ripped out and teeth missing.
I suppose using pepper spray by security guards in schools to break up fights would shock you, too.
Having cerebral palsy (or any other condition) does not make it ok to steal.
I really don't think it was that bad. However, if there was a history of beatings like this, which may have been since she had a feeling it was going to happen and record it, then yes, there is something wrong.
As for the corporal punishment question, I am usually against it, but think there is a time and a right way to do it.
