My kids (6, 7, 11) are addicted to video games. That's all they want to do all the time and it's difficult to get them outside. The weather is always nice here, so there's no excuse that it's too cold out.
I limit them to an hour a day on school days but weekends I need to set limits. It's becoming a battle and I need some ideas on how to control it.
If they can't do video games, then they want endless tv. Another issue, my oldest son will go over to his friend's house to play video games when I limit them here. He has two friends that play video games endlessly and never go outside ever.
If you have some tips that work for you, I would appreciate it. Thanks!
Thank you. I set limits on screen time this week and would you believe it's been the best week ever! No fighting while playing games. No whining that they need to finish a game instead of coming to dinner. The kids seem happy with the rules, which amazes me. I told them 1 hr of screen time a day including tv. TV is unlimited after 5 pm but dinner is usually around then so they are not watching much between 5 and 7 pm.
Their activities are starting up again which will help the video game obsession. Baseball started yesterday for the oldest. He won't have much time for electronics for a few months. My daughter has girl scouts. The youngest will be joining something soon. Then there's CCD through the church on Wednesday nights and Sunday morning.
You need to sign them up for activities outside the home. My kids did karate, ice skating, dance, piano lessons, basketball, and more. That's not to say that my kids don't love - to this day - video games. Given half a chance, they still love to flop down and play all day.
I limited their game time. I limited their TV time.
I kept them busy.
LBC
I sub at the local school district here in MN and have found that a TON of kids are only able to use their video game units on the weekends. This is a huge problem of setting limits for many parents... and it seems boys, much more than girls, can't get enough of the games. Stand your ground... limit TV as well and prepare to participate in the outside activities and give a few suggestions each day. They won't initiate change on their own, especially since they may feel like they are being punished.
Set a schedule. When they know up front what the schedule is they don't tend to argue too much about it. Mine get to play video games after school for an hour on Tuesday. I send them outside the other days if they don't have other activities. Friday nights I let them have unlimited gaming. I usually plan outings and activities for the rest of the weekend. If they happen to get extra screen time, whether because of bad weather, or at a friends house, then it is bonus time for them.
My son, who is only 4, is on this path. I find if I disconnect it all together, then it's easier - sort of out of sight, out of mind. But your kids are older so it may not be as successful.
I would tell them today, Sunday, it's the last day of carte blanche video game playing. Tell them starting tomorrow, there will be no video games during the week, and disconnect the system after they go to bed.
You and your husband need to come up with a set of rules for the video games and stick to them. For instance, no video games during the week. If you know your son is going over to his friends to play, all his homework or chores etc need to be done before he leaves the house and he needs to be back before dinner. This will limit the time he has at his friends house to play.
This is hard though, because you will find he is trying to leave the house more to do what he wants (instead of playing at home, which is probably where you want him), which puts distance between your family.
You will find it hard for you too. I find I get a lot accomplished and my kids get along better when they play video games. Without them, it's harder for me too - I struggle with forcing my kids to find ways to entertain themselves vs entertaining them, and I'm refereeing more arguements - but that's parenting, just not the fun stuff.
My husband was a gamer from 3 years old and he said it may be helpful to do activities with your kids..not that you don't already...and that if the kids have outdoor time w/their parents they will have to go with you b/c they can't stay home alone and can get some sun/exercise and be influenced by parents actions. OR offer to take the oldest and his 2 friends to mini golf or hiking or something he can still do with his friends so he'll me more receptive to the change.
Talk to the other moms. Ask them if they are as tired of it as you are.
Together, you could make a difference. These kids' school work is GOING to suffer if you don't stop giving them the electronics and the TV so much.
They will moan and groan and screech to high heaven. So the heck WHAT! Be the mom and tell them NO. All of the kids.
Dawn
I found it easier to enforce screen limits in chunks of time rather than fixed amounts of minutes. For example, I might say, you can play games/watch TV until it's time for dinner, then it's off for the rest of the night. Something like that. The important thing is to be consistent and always follow through. If they know you're going to give in then they will keep arguing with you. And you should NEVER argue with young children. YOU make the rules and set the limits. If they start whining and complaining send them outside or to their rooms and tell them they can come back when they stop. Don't engage in that behavior.
ETA: oh, and I never worried about games at other kids' houses, that was their playtime not their chore or homework time so I figured it was their choice.
I remember when I was a young teen and a neighbor kid got Super Mario Bros. 3. We were all obsessed for a time. :-D
Like Chrissy mentioned, a lot of my friend's kids are not allowed to play video games during the school week until Friday night. There is nothing to battle, because it just isn't going to happen.
My kids are not big tv watchers, but they do like video games. I don't keep a strict time limit for my kids. What I do is teach them how to prioritize life.
School comes first. That means homework and studying has to be done first - and properly! - above all. Both of my sons have excellent grades.
Responsibilities around the house come next, including commitments to the family. Outside commitments to activities and such are also kept.
Sometimes a kid's health has to be considered. Mine are active in karate and so are lean and muscular. If they were weak or gaining weight from inactivity, then a physical aspect would have to be added to the priorities. Simply saying "go play outside" can backfire, because a kid can just as easily sit under a tree and mope. It is better to have them in something scheduled, or do something that you also actively participate in with them.
When all the important things are handled, then play away! I don't worry about how much gaming their friends do. That is for those kids' parents to handle. I have learned that in the world of tween-boy-socializing, playing games together is like grown men watching a football game together. They love it.
My sister does 'media free' chunks of time with her boys of similar ages. Which means that every so often, when the requests for tv/video games become a problem, she just tells them "this has now become a problem for me (as opposed to something they are managing on their own") and just puts away the wii, unplugs the tv and keeps it off during the daytime.
She's done this quite a few times (esp. in summer, when they put the wii away for sometimes a month or more) and says that after a few days, they do go out and play, they do find their own entertainment.
It sounds to me like your kids are a bit dependent on this form of engagement; perhaps it's time for yours to go away for a while, too.
As for the friend's house-- you can only control what goes on in your house, period. However, you are the parent and can limit how often/for how long your eldest gets to go off to friends. Homework has to be done first, etc.
Would you consider finding another, family-friendly activity? Picking up a few new board games (even from a thrift shop) for them to learn? Or what about geocaching. (If you have a GPS, Tampa may have a Geocaching website.)
My only tip from my house... let them keep busy in other ways. I have a found objects drawer my son pulls from to make creations. (He'll be 6 in April.) We make sure that we go out each day as a family (or the two of us) to get some exercise-- I often have to initiate this, but it's worth it. I also don't have the tv on myself during the day-- so a lot of this is modeling, myself, what's important to us. We choose to spend time at the library, out and about with friends, on nature walks or at the park, and I regularly grab Kiddo up to help me make dinner. I know this will change a bit has he gets older, but I feel like kids still need a lot of 'leading' from us in how they use their time.
I totally get where you are coming from because I saw this with friends and family. When our first was born I decided we would never have video games in the house. Now, that really doesn't help you. But are you willing to get rid of them (the games, not the kids!)? It seriously could be the best thing you do for the kids, who are addicted. I did NOT want to face the constant battle of them wanting to play. We have 5 children now and none will ever play video games here. If they go to a friend's house and play, then so be it. The 6-year-old asks about video games all the time. No is my final answer. So he made some out of paper and pretends to play them. LOL.
We do have a TV. I didn't want one but my husband did. This is a battle. But actually they are limited. It's 2 hours a day. They are all under 7 right now and only the kids over 2 watch. That 2 hours is after a full-day of either preschool or grade school plus aftercare, so I don't feel guilty. I purposely have them out of the house a lot so they stay active and engaged and don't ask to watch tv all day.
My kids don't get cartoons/videos games M-th unless there is something special going on like long road trip, doc appt or what not. Weekends they get them but it is limited. You are the parent so if you don't enforce the limits then there is no point setting them. If they want to argue with you then they can have the weekends taken away till they learn to act right!! If you don't want your 11yr old playing at a friends house then don't allow him to go inside..............like I said, you are the parent so you make and enforce the rules.
My kids are 6 and 12
S.
