My friend just found out she is having twins!!! We are planning a shower and normally I am very good at planning and organizing.... we are starting early and there are three of us girls working together to coordinate her wishes and all the out of town family and friends.
I had an idea to do a double shower, one for mom, one for dad. The idea is to have a traditional "girly" shower with the women upstairs and a daddy shower for the boys downstairs. The mom to be isn't so keen on this idea, she thinks that the guys will not want to participate in party activities, like a baby shower. I get this, however, I was hoping to turn the traditional baby shower into something that the men would enjoy... a manly shower.... but still a shower, if you will. I was thinking of something like a minute to win it game for the guys with beer and wings. Playing silly games, such as making bottles and changing diaper challenges. I need ideas that would make this appealing to guys and make them want to participate.... other than beer and video games.... So we want to have two separate showers, in a way, although we are going to be in the same house (and at the same time) we want the men to do their own thing and have their own "daddy" party. While we have a girly shower, tea party and cupcakes upstairs. Do you think the dad to be would enjoy a "shower" or do you think a couples shower, an integrated party....one big twins bash with parties and games for everyone would be better???
I would listen to the mom you are honoring. Ask her and the dad what they would like and go with that. It is for them, it should be what they want. The dad knows his friends and what they would be most comfortable with, let him decide what the guys do.
The shower is for the mom to be and when you say that she isn't too keen on the idea, you need to respect HER wishes because SHE is the guest of honor and the person for whom the party is thrown.
Please, ask her exactly what she wants to do and do it for her. The party isn't for you. It's for her.
And, just my opinion, it doesn't matter how cute or creative you get men do not get gaga over showers or gatherings like this. I'd say about 75% of them are not fans and dread couples events like this.
What we have always done is have 2 parties, at different houses if possible. The woman gather and have a shower, while the men do a diaper party. What that is is that you get a keg or 2, and the price of admission to the party is a pack of diapers. They can play games like "who can drink all the beer out of a baby bottle first", and the like. Than, at the end of the shower all the woman can merge into the diaper party and keep the fun going as late as everyone is up for.
I know when I had my shower that instead of having 'manly' games for the boys to play that they all got together at a separate house and had what they called a BabyQ/ Diaper Party. They basically sat around and had a BBQ (BabyQ) and drank beer all afternoon while the girls did their thing and all the guys that attended brought a pack of diapers, because lets face it, what man wants to shop for, purchase, wrap and give a baby gift.
My husband and dad came to my shower to help carry. They did NOT want to be there really, but they were helpful with videotpaing it and carrying everything to the house. We invited other men and they did NOT want to do any shower. If you offered beer and wings , many men would be enticed, but it sounds like the mom does not want it. She is the one who matters most.
Only thing I know they do for a men shower is to have a "diaper shower" where all they need to do is bring diapers.
I just did a quick search & saw this, couldn't resist sharing!
"My husband is having a diaper poker tournament with all of his buddies while I have my shower at a friends house. Each person buys into the tournament with 2 packs of diapers for 500 chips. For each additional pack they can get 100 extra poker chips!"
You can Google "diaper shower" for more ideas.
In my experience, guys will attend a co-ed baby shower if dad and mom to be are on board. Otherwise, you need to have girls only party.
If you go w/ a co-ed party, you may find it works well to do a few dad-specific gifts. Here is what we did for my BIL when he and my sister were expecting their first born: We did a tool-belt that we loaded w/ a diaper, travel-pack of wipes, small size of diaper cream, eye goggles, baby oil, and baby powder, safety pins, rattle, and toy. We also did an "emergency kit" with ear plugs, clothes pins (for his nose), and a few other things but I can't remember them all (you can search on line). Then there are cigars (we gave chocolate or bubble gum ones) that you can give to the dad to be to hand out. We also wrapped a few things for the baby that we specifically had Dad open (items with his favorite football team on it).
I had twins myself and although I think its a great idea my husband or his circle of friends would have NEVER gone for this. I can almost guarantee that there will be some who will not want to participate in the games which sometimes ends up being a domino effect......hell I don't even like the games myself and that was one of my conditions of my baby shower-lol! If the mom to be says that her hubby won't be keen on the idea then she knows him the best and no one wants to be forced into doing anything they don't want to do. Maybe the guys can come to the shower and there be "guy" things for them like being able to do shots or something while the gifts are being opened so they don't have to be sitting there during the ohhh and awwwww of it all! You can still do the "double" party without it being one for the dad and one for the mom-everyone just has to bring the double-gift hahaha!!! I delivered at 36 weeks and I want to say I had my baby shower around 32 weeks or something....no one thought I was going to make it to 36 weeks though-lol!
No, I don't think men would enjoy "party games" on any level! Seriously... women barely like them and unless the women are there "making them" do the games- they won't do them.
When we were expecting, my uncles threw my husband a "party" that involved a night of poker. The "buy in" was a case of diapers. They had an absolute blast...and believe it or not did a lot of talking about being daddies. They invited his friends and male relatives and it was a poker tournament with catered snacks and beer. My husband has since "hosted" similar events for his buddies. Same sentiment, but more fun for them. If the father-to-be likes videogames then have your husband host a gaming tournament and have the men bring diapers or onesies or something.
The "girly party" sounds wonderful- tea party to celebrate the new mommy and babies is great! But try to think about what the daddy would really enjoy when planning- and maybe have one of his friends plan that part instead... and try to let them do it themselves!
My husband would cringe at the idea - I think M R had the exact correct take if you go back and read her response. Listen to the honoree - it's HER party. Forget the games - most men think that's silly. If you insist on inviting the men - let them go downstairs and have pizza and beer and just hang out.
My husband came to my baby shower. He didn't mind at all! And, I've been to baby showers where husband's (and other men) came, especially if they are friends/family of the parents to be. I frown upon the beer idea, but this is just my opinion. Unless the dad totally objects to being there, have the guys come too.
As for games, I say anything goes. Make it fun...be creative and don't allow gender to get in the way.
I think the guys would enjoy the beer and wings with diaper changing games and such. I worked with mostly guys and they would've loved this and turned it into their goofy moments with saying who can change a diaper the fastest and cracking jokes about how they'll never do it again and such, so if these guys your inviting like to have a good time (like the guys I worked with) then it'll be awesome!
Nice trend-setting :D
She will be surprised at how many dads /men will have fun. We have given 3 showers here in the past 7 months and at one no men were invited and they surprised us all showing up! So had 8 singel guys and all the dads there teaching the new dad all kinds of things.
Sometimes its just have the guys get a chance to talk and just enjoy the day, or we had them do the barbaue luncheon which I was thrilled about. Just plan on plenty of food. I actually got my car repaired the day of one shower as they got to talking and just had fun as a group fiddling around with it. So have them make sure the new babies are in a safe car!
I totally get the idea, and I think that it's lovely that you want the dads to be included. And I would dread it if my husband and I were invited to a shower like this, because he wouldn't want to play the games and neither would I. I do think that you could do it so that there's a "beer and pizza" party downstairs and a "baby shower" upstairs and then everyone could go back and forth. Or even more than "upstairs and downstairs" if you could do front and back of the house or something, so that there's more mingling.
I love the idea of "diaper poker" being the thing that kind of bridges the gap.
Most of all, though, I agree with the other posters that the most important thing is that the expecting mom is totally on board. If she's rather a traditional shower, even though you have great ideas, I think you should follow her lead.
Good luck!
