Desperate mom of a two year old! My daughter has always gone through nighttime phases where she would relax and accept nighttime and then weeks later she would pound down the door screaming as if someone was hurting her. In those cases I will not go in, if only to check on her and not speak. Once my hubby got irritated I would spend time patting her back until she fell asleep which takes hours. I read at least ten books to her and cuddle and repeat direction over and over. She recently quit the paci but nights like tonight I do give in and it has not even helped. If not just made it worse. She goes to the daycare I work at and they use soft music to sleep to. I bought some to try and she's just screaming mommy over the music. Eventually she falls asleep from exhaustion or she will become completely silent if I go in the room. Any suggestions please let me know! Up to try anything. She also has a lantern hanging from the ceiling that gives plenty of light.
Thank you both for the advice! She had another night terror exactly at 4:14 again last night and cried off and on until 6 am this morning. She can form sentences and formulate thoughts well but I'm not sure of she can fully answer me. I did ask what she was afraid of and twice answered bugs. She saw her dad freak out over a big landing on him and she found the big and freaked out also. If there's a speck inside the tub she gets afraid also. Maybe it's the newfound fear of bugs?
I'd give her the pacifier just so I could have some rest. She's not ready to give it up. I think this might be something to talk to the doc about, he might have some sort of sleep aid to give her.
Night terrors are different than nightmares. With night terrors little ones may have their eyes open, and be talking, or screaming, but they are somehow still asleep. No amount of intervention or soothing on your part during the night terror will help, because they aren't awake enough to percieve and respond to it. You just need to be present, if you choose to be, to make sure they don't hurt themselves, and if it makes you feel better to be present.
As for the sleep routine, we used Ferber, it worked for us.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Is she truly afraid, or does she just not want to go to bed? Can she speak well enough to answer why she does this? (She may not be able to tell you, but then again, she might!)
My sense is that you might be better served to simplify the bedtime routine. Maybe 1-2 short stories, then a hug and a kiss, and off you go. (You could start this routine with naptime over the weekend, and then expand it to bedtime?) It kind of sounds like she doesn't know how to self-soothe and get herself to sleep, and so if/when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she freaks out and doesn't know what to do. That's really a learned thing - like I said, you may want to start with naps and work your way up from there.
The other thing is, does the door HAVE to be closed? One of my kids is terrified (to this day, and she's in 3rd grade now) to sleep with her door closed. When she was tiny, we just put a baby gate at her door, so she was contained, but could still see out the door, and the light from the hallway would filter in. We have never had a night light in her room, though. I think too much light can be a bad thing? When she was 2, she wouldn't stay in her bed when she was falling asleep. We would actually find her fast asleep on the floor, with her face pressed to the baby gate. (Awww!) But that's okay - she got herself to sleep. So we would just put her in bed once she was asleep.
I think your goal probably needs to be to teach her how to do this on her own. It might take a little while, but you can do it. Engage with her as little as possible when you go in, and don't stay until she's asleep. Just get her calm, and then go. Again and again, until she gets it. (It's exhausting, but it will eventually work ;).
I agree with Hell on Wheels. I also want to tell you that ladies here whose little one REALLY had night terrors (different than bad dreams or just waking up upset because they want mommy) have found that waking your child up around 11:00 pm to give a sip of water or take to the potty will break the sleep cycle and stop the night terror. Try that. But NO sitting in her room rubbing her back. She has no idea how to self soothe, and if you don't teach her, she will just be miserable, and so will you.
Good luck,
Dawn
