Two Birthday Party Etiquette Questions

First, don't worry about a present.
Second, if you are just going to provide cake and punch you don't need to say anything on the invitation. It's assumed that you will provide that. Also, it would be fine if that's all you were going to provide....you wouldnt be considered cheap. Now, if you want to have snacks also then you will write at the bottom of the invitation above the rsvp "Light snacks provided" or if you're going to have a full lunch then you'll write "Lunch provided". But you really don't need to provide a lunch, nobody would expect it. That's kind of late for little ones to wait for lunch. have fun.

I agree with the majority. If the bday girl or her parents are close friends or family, then I would get a gift, otherwise don't worry about it. I don't know the circumstance for why you didn't go to the party, so I'll throw this out there. If we rsvp to a party, but something comes up the day before or on the actual day, we get a samll gift regardless of the friendship level. Maybe it's just me, but I figure the parents were planning us attending and a small gift shows we care enough to respect their plans.

As for your daughter's party, I personally would not expect a parent to serve the kids lunch at 1:30pm. We always specify on the invitation; "cake & icecream will be served" or "pizza & cake will be served", regardless of the time. That way there are no expectations otherwise.

GL!

and btw- I'm w/ you on the details! I always worrry about that kind of stuff too, but my husband thinks it's a waste of time.

This is what I do..... I have a 13 yrd old daughter.

#1. When she was younger, she was invited to a lot of parties with classmates, etc. IF the bday child was a close friend, Yes, we would deliver a gift. If it was an acquaintance, we did not. It still applies to how we do things now at 13.

We are at the age (teens) where some large parties are thrown and most of the teens specify no gifts please. My daughter's bday party back in Dec was huge with DJ and the works. We specified no gifts. Only her closest friends gave her a gift and that was not expected at all.

#2 If the part is at 1:30, I assume everyone has had lunch. I know I would not hold off my lunch until 1:30. If anything, have some light finger foods if parents are hanging around and I would go heavy on the drinks.

I plan my parties like this, if the party is between 11-1, I serve lunch, party 5:30-730, I serve dinner, 7:30 on..I have a couple of appetizers, (balanced between heavy and light) for later. I always try to opt for more food/drink than I need.

Everyone does it differently and has opinions on it. Go with what you feel is right for you.

Hi there, Ok, Firstly you don't need to send a gift if you don't attend the party (especially for someone you don't have much contact with) send a card and thats enough...

Second, If someone is not able to get a gift to the recipient with in a week or 2 of the party or occassion then one should not send a gift at all. I have heard of people giving Christmas gifts in JULY to friends who actually live close or they see often but just "forget" to get it to them. In this case its really just best not to give the gift at all because it comes across like the "thought" of the giving is not there when its given so late. They obviously were not really thinking of you if they could not get it to you on time.

next, as far as the b-day party... people will probably expect lunch at 1:30 (any time between 2-4 is cake/icecream only) I would just go to CC's and get a couple of their specials (2 large pizzas and a bread sticks or dessert pizza for like 15.00) get 2 or 3 of those specials (depending on number of guests) and you are set. you could always just have finger food snack trays...

to get around serving lunch then specify on the invitation that "cake and Ice cream served" or what ever you choose to do!

Serve the cake last because of the mess factor and if you choose to open gifts there, (some people take them home to open at parties like that because of time restraints)then open them while every one is eating the pizza so they are occupied and you are multitasking to save time.

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Hi R.! I agree that you shouldn't need to send a gift to a child you don't see often unless it's a family friend who you're very close with or something like that. As for the party situation, I second Shannon's idea that you specify on the invite that the kids to join you for "cake and punch" at the celebration. That way you won't have to fork out money for pizza AND no one will show up expecting to be fed. Parents shouldn't be expecting food for themselves anyway.

I agree with the other Mommas about the gift. If you are close, then buy a gift, otherwise don't worry about it.

As for your party, if my child were invited to birthday party at 1:30pm I would presume that there wouldn't be food other than cake and a drink.

Good luck!

Here is my take on your questions: If we don't attend a birthday, and the child is not one we see often then I would not get a gift. If you feel the need to, I would do something inexpensive like art supplies (they are super cheap with all the back to school sales).
On the second question, I would have my kids eat lunch before a 1:30 party unless the invite specified that lunch would be served. We normally eat at noon so waiting much longer would be pushing it. I would have some packages of goldfish or pretzels for anyone who has the munchies, but I think cake & drinks is plenty.
I so understand about the "trivial" stuff. Husbands never think about all the details. Have a great party!

I don't think you need to get a gift. If it's a family member, well, depends on how close you are to the entire family. If it's a friend, same thing, how close are you to the whole family. The 4 year old won't care at all, so maybe think about the parents & your relationship with them - you're obviously still fretting over it a month later, so clearly there's some angst. Just think about the parents & go from there.

For your party, I wouldn't expect to be served at all, as a parent. The party is for the kids. Cake and drinks is the usual, and most parties we've been to something else is added like apple slices or crackers...something to help cut the sugar. To clarify, just write on your invitations "Cake and drinks will be served." Then there will be no expectation & you don't have to worry about it.