Tv in Bedroom

No, no and NO!
Tv in the bed room is BAD for anyone! Period. Plenty of studies link it to increased screen time (kids tend to watch more TV if they have their own set in their own room), lack of exercise (obesity) and imaginative play, poor sleep quality, behavioral and learning problems.
Even for adults it has been suggested that TV in the bedroom is linked to poor sleep quality, insomnia and related problems.

You are the mom, and if she won't let up, google the American Academy of Pediatrics, which recommends removing all TV sets from children's bedrooms and supervising children when watching TV.

Things have changed since you were a kid. We know more about the damaging effects of too much TV (very entertaining in moderation, but too much is too much) AND we have a lot more "stuff" on TV. You didn't get 300+ channels 24/7 30 years ago, like you do now.

So stand you ground and know you're doing the right thing.

Good luck!

DO NOT GIVE IN! If you do I can guarantee you that she will learn to fall asleep with it on and then need it.

Don't do it. I have a Ph.D. in Media Effects and Mass Communication, and I'd be happy to deluge you or her with empirical evidence that you are right.

I think a TV in a child's bedroom is bad idea. How will you know what she's watching? As parents we always controlled what was okay to view on TV and what wasn't. (We had one TV, in the Family Room.) Who will explain the unusual, the odd and the scary to her. There's something good to be said for you spending your time with your kids and explaining the good the bad and the beautiful on television programs.
A 4 year old watching TV alone in her room, sounds sort of lonely and isolating to me.

A.

Mom, I teach young children and feel very strongly about this subject. Call me old-fashioned in my 40's but would definitely not put a TV in my child's bedroom, there is no good reason for one. In my early childhood education classes I learned about TV and the child's brain. Get some books on child development on the affects of TV on young children, TV is not a good thing for young brains, not to mention the childhod obesity crisis our country is facing wha tis one of the big causes of this? primarily TV, hand held electronic games and computer use, since children no longer play like we used to outdoors after school, they sit for hrs in front of the TV set. You might also want to ck out this web-stie for the American Acaedemy of Pediatrics and see all of the articles about TV and the young child : http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/search?sortspec...
Parents who allow one in my opinion are not spending the quality one-on-one, talking , reading and playing with their children like a responsible parent does, the TV is acting as a babysitter. I have known may young children who have come to school over th yrs saying they are so tired at 9am, when asked why, they often say they stayed up late to watch a movie in their room, some even have thier own DVD players and TV's in their bedrooms. Often at school young children will ask if they can watch movies, or ask why don't we turn on the TV. We tell them the TV is not good for thier brains, playing with other children inside and outside is so much better for them. Some young children can even recite lines from movies or TV commercials word for word and they are proud of this- Yikes! It frightens me when I see toddlers and children glued to a TV set, it seems to almost take control of them when they watch it and it gets shut off. TV is so one sided. On another note Mom as your daughter gets older, she will likely want to do her homework in her bedroom at a desk, a TV in a child's room is an ugly temptation, you also will not be able to monitor if he/she is watching appropriate shows unless you are in there 24/7 with her. Please hang tough on this one Mom and do what is best for your daughter's brain, physical health and social skills, no matter what G-ma says. Good luck

We have a tv in the living room and no where else.
Our son will never have one in his room while he lives with us.
Your response doesn't have to be elaborate.
Your house, your rules. It's one of the major perks of living on your own.
Your child is yours to raise as you see fit.
Your mother needs to learn about boundaries and respecting them.

Do you hear how immature your mother's last sentence is?: "yep, of course you are right, who am I anyway?"

Why is this about HER? She had her chance to parent, this is YOUR turn. She can give her opinion, ONCE, and then she has to shut up and be mature and respect your decision.

Here is your answer to her next time this comes up: "I'm not putting the tv in her room, mom." Then she says: "of course, you're right, who am I anyway/" Then you say, again: "I'm not putting the tv in her room, mom." Then she whines and makes another immature statement, and if you have to, repeat the sentence a THIRD time, exactly the same way: "I'm not putting the tv in her room, mom."

I've said this so many times. Don't argue or try to reason with her. Just tell her how it's going to be. And do that every single time she tries manipulating you.

You are the mamma. You do what you feel is best for your own child.

Remind your mother this does not mean she did it wrong when you were younger, it just means that with this child, you do not feel it is something she needs.

You've had a lot of support but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. I have two little boys and they won't have a TV in their bedrooms until those bedrooms aren't under my roof. I will always want to be able to know what they are watching and when whether they are 3 or 13. Stick to your guns.

I actually, I don't think TVs belong in bedrooms. Period. My husband and I don't have a TV in our room because when we're in there together, that's not how I want us to spend our time. And as for children, they absolutely watch enough TV in their lives without having it invade their bedrooms. Also, it is so much easier to monitor what they are watching when they are in a public space. I would reconsider ever putting a TV even for videos in your daughter's room. She can entertain herself in other ways.

"As the mom, that's the decision I've made for our daughter." Period. No response. End of discussion. Subject change. Its not about being right (which you are, hee hee). It is now your turn to make those choices.

There are so many resources about why children should not have TV in their bedrooms, let alone a four-year-old. You can look them up if you'd like, and if mom is interested you can pass along, but no need to defend your position.

Jen

for heaven's sake you are the parent so do what you feel is right with your child. But in our house, my husband won't let our kids have TV's in their rooms, he feels like that would shut them out even further. Our kids are teens and you know, they don't always want to hang out with us all the time anyway, so he feels like it would make them stay away even more.

Stick to your guns. Research shows you are right! If a child has a tv in their room you can't control it very easily, especially when they get older. Kids with tv's in their bedrooms watch more tv, go to bed later and may watch more mature shows than they are ready for. If you want to limit or supervise what your child watches it is better to have a tv in a public part of the house. If you have a basement or family room you could put it there--maybe with a DVD player but no access to regular tv channels (or a block on everything but kids channels). I am not anti-tv, mine is on far too much but my oldest is only 4.5 and so it is almost all kids shows, mostly educational ones. If I had the space I'd put an extra tv in my bedroom.

Why is your mom putting her two cents in? You need to politely let her know that she is not the parent and to butt out!

I absolutely do not see any benefit to a four year old having a tv in her room. I would hold your ground, you're the mommy.

Don't do it!!! I live with a hubby who had a tv in his room while growing up and the man is addicted to tv.
Just my two cents,
R.

don't do it. you're the parent. she'll watch enough TV in her life without having such easy access.

God bless gramma! If she wants to let her grandchild stay up all night watching TV when she is hosting a sleep-over -- Then let her do just that. Spoil away gramma.

But for my money, we want no TV in our kids' rooms (they are 9 & 5) and we want any other TV watching done as a family. As they get older, obviously, I will be more flexible about this 2nd "rule" but I am with you.

Assure your mom, she doesn't need to worry about how your decisions reflect on her. In fact, ask her:

You think your grandchild is smart, and sweet and beautiful and polite, right mom? Well, GOOD because that is how I am raising her and where do you think I learned a lot about being a good parent? From you of course and that is why I know a TV in her room is not the right decision.

Why the rush to put a TV in any bedroom? And, although a four year old isn't a baby, she's still a very, very young child.

IMHO, as parents we all need to think strategically and ask what will happen later as a result of decisions today. In this case, the occasional video for a young child that is parent controlled is fine. In 10 - 12 years, when you have a full-fledged teenager, you won't have quite the same control over the situation. How will you know what guidance she needs if you can't even hear what she watches? Although it's hard to believe when your little one needs you for everything, when she's a teenager she will need you for more -- and want you less. All our adorable little ones grow up and become wonderful big ones -- but in between there are sometimes some turbulent times where your child tries to develop self by separating. THis is normal, healthy & good -- but parents still need an understanding of what their child is going through. NEVER allow a TV, computer, telephone, video games or food in a child's room. These are the things (sometimes, the only things ;) ) that keep teenagers engaged in family space (living room, kitchen, family room). Once the TV goes in, it won't come out -- and, chances are, neither will your kid.

I am sorry, but your answer to your mom was just fine. You are the mom and your word goes.

That being said, my daughter is almost 4 and she has a tv in her room. She can only watch dvd's in there as it's not hooked up to cable. She hardly ever watches anything in her room. I don't like the idea of a child being kept in their room to watch tv all the time...so unsocial to me.

My kids are all grown and I'm a grandmother now. I remember the days we had no TV and my grandpa was one of the first ones to own one in the neighborhood. Only one TV in the house and in the living room and at night we all went to bed to sleep, not watch TV. Now there is so much on there that kids can see and learn and not all good and not all bad but I was telling one of my grandsons the other day how we were never 'bored' but played, got exercise, made up games, used our own minds. I would encourage that and not so much TV in every room. But that's just me and I'm on the older end. Try to encourage communication with the family and talking together. Not so much sitting and staring at a box.

I get into it with my mom over stuff like this all the time. For the record, my daughter had a TV in her room when she was 5, but only to use during the daytime. She is 8 now and rarely watches TV...prefers to read!

As far as your mom goes...it's your decision and you simply have to be firm with her. What I have to say to my mom is, "I'm only going to talk about this one more time. So say what you have to say now and we can drop it." If she brings it up again I cut her off and tell her "No, we are not talking about that." That seems to work with my mom. Be firm.

Just tell her that you are not criticizing your own upbringing (even if you are) but that you and your husband's choice is that she will not have a television in her room. If the tv itself is portable, you could always put it on her dresser on a miserable sick day when she might otherwise be on the couch watching cartoons most of the day or something, or to use for guests when they stay over in another room (if you have another room). I never had one in my room as a kid, or even in college, and we still have only one television in our home and it is in the living room. We did buy a portable DVD player for a trip to Maine last year and I keep that hooked up in the kitchen for music or a movie when I'm cleaning. I have let the kids watch a cartoon in their room on that when I am upstairs trying to work because we can't "secure" them upstairs and at 2 and 4 years old I cannot leave them unsupervised downstairs for more than a few seconds or minute (my "Resuscitation Count").

I would not give in because that is saying that she can make parenting decisions. Simply tell her that if and when you and your husband feel your child is ready, you will consider it. I sometimes tell my kids no (when they are asking for something) because we cannot (time, finances, etc.) or simply because we have chosen to say no to something. I think that a bedroom tv is more than a luxury (a luxury is a matched bedding set), it is a kind of indulgence that is not necessary. TV watching can still be a family activity--learning to share, watching things together, talk about what you see, etc. Anyway, sorry for the long reply, but do not give in. I get into childish conversations with people too, though. =)

LOL, neither was your mothers (response mature). Bottom line, you are being mature by making what decisions you think are best for YOUR daughter! Who is she? Not the parent, you are :-)

This is your child. You do what YOU think is best for YOUR child. SHE'S attacking YOUR parenting skills by insisting a TV go into a 4yr old's bedroom. YOU are the parent. It is YOUR house and YOUR child. How does she not understand that?

Well I have one in my sons room when he was about that age. But I only put on age appropriate shows. I always, and still do, made him turn it off at bedtime. I'm just like you though, I HAVE to have noise when I go to sleep. Otherwise I would slip into madness, haha. I see your point though. I don't think it would hurt anything. I did it to also give myself a break from Blues Clues, The Wiggles etc....
He didn't have a cablebox in his room, just the DVD player. But if you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it! She's your child, your rules.

Both ours have TV's with external DVD players in their rooms. They are strapped down to prevent flipping. The movies are put up on a high shelf and they have to ask for them. They play in their rooms while watching tv or movies and I see no issues with it. I like having the TV on while I am doing housework, doing dishes or laundry, etc...I don't see the big deal.

They can only access 2 channels on their TV. Disney and OETA. I let them watch some Nick Jr. shows, the love the Fresh Beat Band but most of the others I can't stand hearing.

They cannot access any other channels unless the remote programs them in. If I want to let them watch something off channel, like Wizard of Oz was on tonight, I use the remote. When they turn it to a different channel they can't get back to the other channel.

You're the mom so it is your call as many other poster have let you know. That said - all 4 of my kids and now my 4 year old grandboy who lives with us all had tv's in their bedrooms. It is great for us becaue we like to watch movies at night so he goes in his room and watches his movies. He has cable (although my kids did not) but he can only watch "his" shows (Dora, Diego, Mickey Mouse etc. and they are not on at night generally so we plug in the DVD - his is an old set so you can't have cable and DVD at the same time (I know we could remedy this - but why). At the end of his movie he turns off the tv and turns out the lights and puts himself to bed. He doesn't like to watch it is his room during the day he would rather be where I am - but he doesn't like the news so he will go in his room then. My adult kids all prefer reading when given the option. My son went through a bad period with video games when he was a teen but has gotten control of that. My 3 girls would watch theirs from time to time but were really too busy with other things to make it a priority. Also when they were growing up the tv was never on during the day.

This is your child in your home, you make the rules. When you were her child, in her home, she made the rules. If you don't want a tv in your child's room that is your choice to make, not hers. You can always say something to the effect of "mom, I value your opinion. Right now I don't feel that my child needs a tv in her room. I want her to spend her tv time with us as a family or at least where I can keep an eye on what she is watching. You want me to be an involved parent and make the best choices for my child like you did for me. Right? So we are putting the tv in her room decision off until she is a little older for now. We are not saying never, just not at 4. When we are ready to let her have the tv you are more than welcome to get one for her."

I have a tv in my kids room, alot of people are against this, but my kids dont sleep with it on, it has a timer, and it goes off at night when its bed time, i have always had a tv, but I am the opposite, i can not sleep with noise or light, so i am keeping the house dark and quiet. there are many differnet opinions on this topic. but its really up to you. If you have your own house and your own family, you dont owe your mother an explination on why you do or dont want things a certain way.

Stick to your guns! Your daughter does not need a tv in her room! We have 3 young boys and they don't have TVs. We have 1 TV in the living room and one in the kitchen. We don't even have one in our bedroom. It's not about money--I just think the more TVs you have, the more TV you'll watch!

I am in the not now, not later camp.

I also agree with the "don't defend your decisions/just restate it" approach.

Good luck.

I agree with you. No TV in the bedroom. I had a TV in my room when I was little and like you, after I reached adulthood, I couldn't fall asleep without it for the longest time. If she needs noise to distract her so she can fall asleep, get her a radio or a CD player with a "sleep" function. I don't know about you, but I don't want my child's subconscious being pounded with Cialis commercials! I might feel differently if I could control what info comes out of the idiot box, but I can't so NO TV in the bedroom!

Monitor. Monitor. Monitor... Start at a young age.

I would be honest with her about how you have a hard time sleeping without the stimulation of the tv to keep your mind off of REALITY. I'm the same way. We didnt have a tv in our room when I was a kid but I did have a radio on my headboard that I played all night. Now I like the tv on in the bedroom and my hubby hates it. He likes to watch a movie in bed and then turn it off, but once it's turned off I cant sleep and find myself in the livingroom on the couch a couple of times a week or wake up to him with a pillow over his head, lol.
My kids didnt have tv's in their room until they were maybe 9 or 10 and that was because Nintendo took over..... they didnt watch tv tho, it wasnt hooked up to cable, it was only there for them to play their vid games.
I'd say you are totally doing the right thing and Mom will get used to it. What you do in your home is your business. I think she's afraid that you might be saying you feel you were raised "wrong", and that's the validation that she needs to hear from you most likely. "Mom, I was pretty fortunate to have a tv in my room when I was little and wouldnt change a thing, but right now I'm just not ready for my daughter to have in there at such a young age but I'm sure she will have one eventually". That would be the route to take with Mom to calm her down about it.

OK both my kids have a tv in their bedroom, but they do not get to watch it whenever or however. They must earn their tv time and I monitor exactly what they are watching. I do use my daughter's tv for other things as well though. I have videoed her dance instructor and she watches it and practices her dance routine. I have recorded her prayers and religious verses that she listens to at night while falling asleep. She at 5 has all the well known prayers memorized as well as several bible verses. She can sleep without it however. she has a dance toy that plugs in & she casn see herself dancing on tv with it. My son has a couple of plug n play games too, but they do earn their time on the tv. do they need it, absolutely no, is it cool to have, absolutely yes, is it going to matter 5 years from now those kids that had & those that didn't, nope. Do want you feel is right for your family & let your mom know shes right too and while she got to make decisions for you, you get to do the same for yours. Best of luck.

I think that YOU are the mommy...SHE was the mommy in YOUR childhood. I would probably just tell her ....
Mom, I'm the mommy now & that's my decision; when YOU were the mommy, you made decisions for me. This is MY decision for MY child.

Then just drop it & refuse to carry it any further.

Whether or not to put the tv in the room is up to you and your hubby. My boys have a tv in their room, they got it for Yuletide last year. They where 3 and 5 at the time. They do not get cable, the tv is for their V-Smile, and for when we let them rent a DVD. It actually is nice because we can rent an adult movie and a kid one, and they can watch theirs down stairs while we use the tv upstairs, but that is what works for us, what works for your family is up to you, and not your mother.

I think you already know you don't just give in, to your mom or your daughter. Times are different, and this is your time to be boss. Just say, "thanks, we'll think about it." Then, let it go. She can't really argue with what you say. Repeat as often as necessary, and always be nice.