Trying to Get Pregnant for over a Year

Updated on October 19, 2009
E.L. asks from Petaluma, CA
22 answers

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant with our second child for over a year. I know all you mom's out there have great ideas to help make it happen (besides the obvious :O)). What are those things that you've read or tried that helped you or someone you know get pregnant? I don't really need things like jumping backwards during a full moon (although funny), but things that you think will be helpful. I track my periods on mymonthlycycles.com, I have been using the ovulation kits last month and plan to this month (I’m a little irregular and my hubby has a small amount of swimmers). I also read a majority of the "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (which I found so enlightening and I think everyone should read it regardless). What else is there? How do we make this month the month?????
PS. Believe it or not, I am relaxing and enjoying myself, just tired of the "wait for my period to wait to ovulate to wait to test to wait for my period - cycle" that I’ve been doing for over a year.
Thank you!

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

When I was at my Gyno office the other day they had a book about doing Yoga for fertility. It said they have seen success when the the women does yoga because the relaxing and stretching removes the stress hormones that hamper fertility.

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J.S.

answers from Fresno on

Are you staying in bed for at least 5 to 10 minutes with your hips elevated? A friend of mine struggled for 2 years to get pregnant. She was getting out of bed right away instead of elevating her hips. Once she started staying in bed and putting a pillow under her hips and holding her legs up immediately after having sex..... she was pregnant with a little boy!!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is a wonderful book also. I thought I knew a lot about fertility, not until I read that though! Good luck...keep trying....

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Elizabeth,

I have had several friends try acupuncture when nothing else seemed to work. All 4 of them got pregnant and delivered healthy babies. If you live in San Francisco my friends used Christine Friel at Double Happiness Health. Good luck!

C. B Palmer
www.linabean.myarbonne.com

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Since we had to use an infertility specialist to get pregnant w/both of our boys, I have lotsa info I could give you but I'm gonna keep it short & sweet....trying unsuccessfully for over a year is way too long. Go to your OB/GYN & then get a referral to an infertility specialist.

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A.F.

answers from San Francisco on

This is what I tell everyone who are in your situation. RELAX, everytime you have sex you can stress yourself out and hope that this it. RELAX and enjoy the sexual enjoyment with your husband. Once you RELAX and DON'T OVERSTRESS yourself, the rest will come easy.

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G.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Try acupuncture!! it really helps!

if insurance does not cover it and $ is an issue, find an acupuncture school near by and get treated there. you can save lots of money and get great results!

best of luck to you!

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

My first 3 pregnancy's (2 babies)all in my twenty's happened as soon as we wanted a baby. When we started trying for our third baby it took 4 years!!!We did everything but seek fertility treatment.I was an expert with my cycles. We had finally come to acceptence that our family would be what it was and surprise...we were having a baby. After it took so long to have that baby we really didn't think another was possible but surprise again...another baby. Looking back this is what I see. When we were trying for our third my son was such a challenge. We questioned ourselves as parents over and over. We lived in a house that we were out growing. There was no room for a baby. Finally My son out grew his challengingness (I know thats not a word) We bought our dream property and moved,6 months later I was pregers. I really believe those factors were effecting us having more children.Where in your life could there be some road blocks. And for us they are each part of Gods plan which is sometimes a picture we don't see.It was all for a reason and his timing is best.Best wishes to you and my you find yourself blessed with another little one to adore.

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C.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I have heard really good things from my friends about acupuncture treatments and fertility issues. Might be worth a try, I used acupuncture for pregnancy induction it is very relaxing and does not hurt, ask around in your area for a practitioner that specializes in pregnancy issues
good luck

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

HI! I'm in a similar situation and can empathize with the "waiting" factor (ugh!) but still feeling positive. :) Not sure how you feel about alternative medicine but I've heard some amazing stories about acupuncture. Have a friend of friend that tried everything including several IVFs for SEVEN years and got preg after several months with acupuncture. Good Luck!

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I second everything said so far about diet, thyroid, wheat and acupuncture. We tried for 6 years, and then I got pregnant without trying after 3 months of acupuncture and massive changes in my diet, especially no wheat.

What 'going to the acupuncturist' often entails is dietary changes. Most L.Ac.'s are wholistic practitioners, meaning they advise on the whole body, they don't just stick you with needles. Their practice is a whole body art. So expect that.

The best advice I got as I went into the acu/diet process was - "if you want to be pregnant, then act like you're pregnant" - stop smoking, drinking coffee, excessive sodas, junk food, sitting on the couch, etc. Do everything you would do if you were caring for a little person inside of you. Doing that made me feel fantastic.

Good luck and go for it!

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A.T.

answers from Stockton on

Go to a fertility specialist to rule out any physical issues. Be prepared for them finding nothing and feeling a little frustrated.
I have to say that yoga seemed to really help me too - I started doing it for about a year before we had our son, had an ectopic pregnancy the first month we ditched the birth control - family history - no big shock. After I recovered from the ectopic and was back in yoga class again we got pregnant the first time we "flew without a net" again resulting in our son.
I got busy - went back to work - stopped going to the gym - lost weight on a diet but wasn't taking care of myself - we had 3 miscarriages in 1 year. I went to a specialist - they found nothing wrong - I was so disappointed that it wasn't a physical problem. got tired of feeling tired & sad, joined a gym, hired a trainer and got back into yoga. 2 months later I was preggo again and now I'm at 32 weeks. I kept going to yoga class until the end of my 6th month - it really helped with the aches and pains and fatigue.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear Elizabeth,
You say you're relaxing, but you are obviously worrying about it on a daily, which turns into weekly, which turns into monthly basis. You are worrying about it more than you know.
I have a friend who got married, had a wonderful husband, wanted a baby.....they were running all over the U.S. to different IVF specialists and nothing ever worked. Finally, they were given the news it would never happen. She was devastated. They decided to use the rest of their savings on a new house and cars, a romantic cruise, and anything to make her feel better. They didn't figure they needed the money to raise a child. She was pregnant 3 months later all on their own. With a huge pile of new bills to go along with it, but they quit trying so hard and it just happened.

It took me 10 years to be surprised and have a baby after my daughter. They scheduled me for a hysterectomy and the next thing I knew, I was pregnant.

Things like this happen.

"Lord...Let me appreciate the wait as well as the answer."

Good things come to those who wait and I have a feeling you will be blessed if you relax a little more about it than you think you are. You are waiting too hard.

That's just my opinion and I wish you the very best!

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V.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I was trying over a year and my obgyn put me on the mildest form of fertility drugs available and jackpot! I would mention this to your doctor. Usually, trying over a year may mean further investigation by your doctor.

Good luck,
V.

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V.R.

answers from Redding on

We got pregnant with the same exact situation. My husband had few swimmers and the ones he did have didn't like to swim straight.

We were told we had a less than 1% chance of getting pregnant. We were about to give up and adopt but were still trying the ovulation kits, not having sex every day but waiting a few days before we thought I'd ovulate so he had a larger amount built up in there, he wore boxers and I stayed in bed for 10 minutes after sex with my hips elevated.

Surprise, on the day the adoptions social worker was to come out, I woke up pregnant.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My husband and I had trouble getting pregnant with my first child (I got pregnant 3 months after first trying, but lost it). A little over a year after my miscarriage I went to my acupuncturist for fertility treatment, in the meantime my husband was tested and had abnormal results so he went in for 1 treatment then was tested again and it came back with normal results. I went to a few more appointments than he did, but we conceived the month following his appointments – he went to 2 appointments. We also, by chance, timed a vacation during my ovulation week.

I’m now pregnant again, expecting in 7 weeks, and decided not to take a chance so both my husband and I went in for treatments at the acupuncturist. It took a little longer because I was nursing, but I ended up conceiving 2 months after my daughter was weaned.

Good luck!
S.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I tried for two years. I finally went to acupuncture by a fertility specialist and was pregnant in the first week. In addition to acupuncture, he gave me the book "Fertility Wisdom" and put me on a special diet of only warming foods (detailed in the book). No refined sugar, no wheat, no cool foods like fruit, etc. I kept going to him for the first four months of my pregnancy and in addition to a healthy pregnancy, I lost 35 pounds. Eastern medicine just gives us back control over our health.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I had some trouble getting pregnant as well. And I really agree with everything that has been said here. Remove any roadblocks... we were living in a 2 bed, 1 bath house and my step-son had the second bedroom. There was honestly NO room for a new baby. Our bedroom wasn't even big enough to add a co-sleeper to it. So we made the choice to build out the downstairs. We moved to a rental for 6 months while that was going on. The build out gave us a huge master bedroom downstairs, 1.5 more bathrooms, a family room, and an office with a closet that could also be a bedroom. Simultaneously, I started acupuncture. And we also got over to the fertility specialists and moved on to trying an IUI. If insurance doesn't cover it, I think that an IUI is only about $250. Between this combination of things, I got pregnant on the first IUI, about 2 months or less after starting acupuncture, and 2 months after we'd moved to the rental place and started construction on the house. You could look at the situation and say that it was the IUI that did it... and maybe it was. But I personally believe that all 3 things were important: the acupuncture, removing the road block of worrying about the fact that we had no actual space for a new baby, and going to the fertility specialist. Also, remember that it is a numbers game. You have "x" percentage of chance each month. There was a couple in our child birth class who had no issues, but just didn't conceive after 2 years of trying. So they stopped "trying" and then got pregnant without really doing anything different other than not trying. For them "trying" meant, no caffine, no this, no that, you know - all the stuff you're supposed to not do. Then they just went back to their regular ways and they got pregnant.

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J.L.

answers from Sacramento on

okay...so you have read Taking Charge of Your Fertility.....first rule of thumb....if you have not gotten pregnant by the 6th month RUN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.to the nearest Fertililty dr.!!!!! I did and helped me move on to the next step of having children instead of spending more valued time trying to get pregnant by myself as well as with my obgyn.....please go to a specialist!

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T.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I have been doing some research on this for a while now while I save up for my tubal ligation reversal surgery. I have heard great things about Pre-Seed. It is a vaginal lubricant that makes it easy for the swimmers to get to the egg. I have also heard great things about Instead. They are cups that you insert like a diaphram and use instead of tampons. TTCers are using them after the "horizontal limbo" to keep the swimmers where they need to be so that they have a better chance of making it to the egg. One other thing. Eat lots of avacado and pineapple. The avacado is really good for uterine health and pineapple (fresh)helps with implantation of the fertilized egg. Finally, drink A LOT of water. 96oz a day. If your body is dehydrated, it WON'T get pregnant. Good luck. T.

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C.C.

answers from Bakersfield on

You may be relaxing & enjoying yourself otherwise, but the waiting that you described may still be just stressful enough...does that make sense? I remember my cousin trying for over a year as well & the stress of the tests & the waiting & the disappointment got her to the point of "oh well - this isn't worth it. I am going to stop trying so hard - if it happens it happens" - she was pregnant not long after...I guess what I am saying is stop focusing on the getting pregnant part & it will all fall into place as the timing is right. :O) Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Modesto on

though i didn't appreciate the title since I'm heterosexual, I found the info in New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth by stephanie brill to be even more invaluable than the taking charge of your fertility book. Gives u great insight and understanding into tracking your cycle and timing insemination (even by sex) - the best info out there in my opinion!!!! good luck!

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