My son just started attending a daycare center/preschool. He is in a 3-year-old class and is having a really hard time adjusting. It's only been two weeks but he has very bad tantrums both in the morning (from the time we get him up, to getting dressed, to the car and into school) and when we pick him up (he is fine when I peek into the windows but then when he sees me, he runs to me and immediately starts a tantrum, which sometimes lasts until we are halfway home, sometimes not). He seems to be doing good once he is there and throughout the day. His teacher tells me he does not cry once we are gone, he participates, etc - and also once he calms down, he tells us about his day and seems to enjoy the things they do. He goes three days a week for full days, I know it is long for him and he is probably tired. I work those three days and up until now, he has spent that time with a nanny, so he is not really used to being around other children, other than ECFE/library programs, etc. I know he is really stressed because he is also acting extremely different at home - he has suddenly become a picky eater, resists taking a bath, wakes at night, has huge tantrums, etc. Unfortunately we don't really have a lot of other options - our nanny has moved (one of the major reasons for changing our childcare situation) and we have been on the waiting list at this place for a long time. We do feel it is a great place - I really like his teacher and it seems like they do a lot of fun activities but still have a lot of free play time. I'm just wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar, if you have any tips on helping him adjust or if we should just wait it out. He is VERY resistant to change and always has been, ever since he was a tiny baby - just the way he is - so I was expecting a big adjustment, and this is probably the biggest change of his little life, so I am prepared to be patient. But I miss my happy little guy. :( Thanks.
Check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Raising Your Spirited Child." She addresses resistance to change, amongst other things. I had a toddler/preschooler like that too. Also, can you visit the school or just drop in unannounced to see if things are going as well as the teacher says they are (maybe try to stay out of your son's sight)? Good luck.
Welcome to the world of 3 year-olds. This is a difficult age, especially for boys. They want to be independent, but then again they don't. I worked in a preschool as a teacher and assistant director for 20+ years and saw this time and time again. Just be patient and comforting to your son, this too will pass. His teacher sounds quite experienced and familiar with this age, if she feels everything is good at school, I would stick with it. I remember my son was a pistol at this age, then he turned 4 and instantly became this pleasant little human being that I actually enjoyed. Unfortunately for me, shortly after my son turned 4, my daughter turned 3, UGH!
Our son has been in day care almost 2 years (since his 2nd birthday). His most recent transition into his newest classroom was the hardest.
He cried every day when we dropped him off and did perfectly well once we were gone. It took about 4 weeks for him to be OK each day (and he stayed in the same facility with several of his friends).
It will take several more weeks - especially since this is such a major adjustment for him. The best thing we found was to continually point out all the great things about his class (how nice the teachers/kids are, what cool things he learned) - it will really help him be excited about going.
We also took some small things into the class to help our son (3.5 years) adjust to the newer kids better. One day it was construction paper so they could make cool crafts, stickers to share, jell-o cups, etc. He was excited to take those things to share with his friends which helped ease the transition.
Good luck! It will get better. He will be your happy little guy again soon.
My son also started a new preschool in January and I was informed the first week that he was very physical with the other children. And he has been in daycare since 8 months, but at a home daycare with mostly girls. The preschool is great, but there is definitely a period of adjustment that I think all kids go through. My son has also become very picky about food, and picked up some bad habits. Just know that it will pass, usually takes a good month for the kids to adjust, and that your child will unfortunately pick up some bad habits that we as parents have to correct at home. Talking about their day, encouraging participation at school, and talking with the teachers will be the only thing that you can do to help him and he will eventually be your happy little guy once again
As with any changed in routine it will take time- This change hopefully will be good for him. It will help him with social skills which he needs when he
starts school. Nowdays Kindergarten starts with the learning process as they teach them to read - not like when I was in Kindergarten many many years ago when kids learned to get along with other kids. I'm sure he will do fine. Some children take longer to adjust to changes them others- best wishes to you!
It's a big transition for a little kid. Kind of think of it as starting a new job ... you don't know the routine, the people, the environment and you have to find your way around and learn how to fit in. That's a lot for a kid.
Just give it a little time. Our son also put on a good show when he started daycare at age two but was apparently quite fine once I would leave. By a couple months at his school, he would run off and not even say good-bye to me!
At three, it's a good time to start preschool and lay the foundation for kindergarten, so you're doing a good thing having him go there.
