Background: me and my family moved to a new state due to my
job. It was a a good thing because we were moving close to my
hometown. My daughter was 2 months old when we got here. My mom decided
That she would watch her full time for us during the work hours. So, instead of
buying a home near my work. We bought a home near my parents, which is just under
1 hour from my work (on a good traffic day).
Everything was great, stressfull, but great. Well, when my daughter was 4 months old we got
The pleasant surprise that I was pregnant again. Surprise indeed!
Fast forward. I am 39 weeks pregnant. And my mom is not prepared to take
care of two babies full time. I don't blame her.
Now, the daycare's around our area are highly over priced, and 30 mins out
Of my way for work. Meaning, I would have a two hour drive to
Work, and the daycares around here don't open up as early as I need them too.
And I don't feel very comfortable with home daycare. But, let's say again I found one I really liked. Most don't start getting kids until 7. I need to leave my house 5:45 on some days, and 6:40 on other days...at the latest.
So, as of right now. My plan is to take them with me because they have a wonderfull, and reasonably priced daycare at my work. But, I can't get over this huge awful feeling of
Guilt, and fear of driving with them. It's far, it's on a dangerous highway, it's a
Long day for me, how will it be for two babies?
Words can not describe how much I love
My children. I would do anything for them. I am a new mom and I feel Iike I am failing them by doing this.
Has anyone had to commute to work, and take your kids with you? Just looking for advise, and more than anything encouragement. I hope this is just 'pregnancy blues' but its really killing me. In tears every night.
Unfortunately there is no way we can move. We JUST bought this house, we only just closed on it in April. We actually built it from the ground up, took alot of time, and money. We have only been paying mortgage for 4 months.
I am sure it would be possible to move, put my house up for rent or something. But, I think that would put my family under more financial stress, as well as the stress of moving with a baby, newborn, and me who just had a baby.
Believe me, if I could do it, or if I would have known this was going to happen, the ideal situation would be to live closer to work.
I am just going to have to suck it up and see how it goes.
The part I am struggling with now is if I work earlier lets say 7-4. We would have to leave the house no later than 5:15. That gives me enough time to fight traffic, drop them off at daycare, and fight the awful parking at my work (sometimes 15 min walks from the parking lot)
We would get home probably around 5:30 or so.
OR....
Do I take them in later......working 8-5? I would have to leave no later than 6:15. But we wouldnt get home until around 6:30. Right now my daughter goes to bed at 8:00.......so I am very nervous about that. It would suck to get home, try and have everyone eat toghether, give them a bath, and their in bed. Doesnt give me much quality time with them.
Think that will be my next question on Mamapedia.
Thanks for the help anyway!
P.S. When she was with my mom, I NEVER saw her during the day, by the time I dropped her off in the morning, I didnt see her again until 6pm. So, it would be VERY nice to be able to go to lunch, and go see both of them. That part I do like about it, and like one of you said, if anything was wrong, I wouldnt have to wait 1 1/2 hrs to see them. I could be 5 mins away.
I gotta say, I would have loved the option to use a daycare at my work. Anything could happen on the roads. Most accidents are within a mile of your home, so don't stress about the drive. If you use the daycare at work, you can drop by at lunch if you want to check on the kids, they are right there if they have a doctor's appointment, if they get sick, you are literally minutes away. I would not feel guilty AT ALL for going that route.
I was always a SAHM,
BUT,
my SIL has always worked. And she always told me: I would rather have my kids close to my work, because THAT is how I will get to spend the most time with them, they are with me until right before I go in until right when I get off.
I think that means a lot.
And if you plan to nurse, doesn't that make it even easier? You could do it on your lunch break.
If I had worked when mine were little I ABSOLUTELY would have wanted them close by, even if we had a commute.
But honestly, do what works best for YOU. As long as your kids have quality care they will be fine!!!
Where does your husband work relative to the daycare centers around? Perhaps he can drop them and you can pick up (or the other way around). Also you might be better off hiring a nanny with two. Also - I believe it is still very much a buyer's housing market where you are. I would start looking for a house closer to work.
The kids will be very happy, well adjusted kids as long as things are in a routine. It's up to you what that routine entails. If that means they ride in the car with you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way to work and back, then so be it. Your DD is about one now, correct? It won't take her any time at all to adjust to her new surroundings and new schedule. And that will be her new routine and she'll be fine. BTW, changing the routine is no biggie. Just so you don't do it every week or something & throw them off.
Quick pros list (to help you feel better):
You will have your kids in the car with your for about 2 hours every day. Just you and them. What valuable alone time!
They will be right there near you all day long. God forebid something should happen or one of them should need you for something urgent, you don't have to drive an hour to get to your babies. They're right there!
In the super hot or super cold months, you're not getting in and out of the car a hundred times dropping them off here & then you getting out there..... Just one time each direction.
I hope this helps. I'm sure it is in part just some anxiety & bab blues. Relax. It sounds like you're doing juuuuuuuust fine. :)
This was many years ago. I had to put my child in day care for a few months. I chose a facility that was just down the road from work. It was only a 1/2 hour commute in the morning and 45 minutes going home. I would stop by during my lunch hour and visit my daughter. Even though she was less than a year, I thought the commuting time was important, because I would talk and sing to her on the drive.
Yes, if it were cheaper to have daycare where I work, I'd be all over that. I've heard of in-home day cares taking kids at 6:00. If its a dangerous highway, is it affordable for you to move closer to where you work. I can't see commuting 2 hours to work. Can your husband drop off the kids and you pick them up or vice versa? Is it possible for you to change your hours to earlier like 6-2 or maybe later like 9-5? You could give the work daycare a trial run and see what happens. At least you'd have a place for your kids until you found something else.
don't fret momma, everything will work out. Believe me, I had a sitter that died last year and I got stressed out about finding someone else. It all worked out in the end. Its probably just pregnancy hormones. You'll be just fine my dear.
Do you have any other family/relatives, near you or your Mom's house?
Maybe, they can also help your Mom, to babysit your 2 children.
And give them some money etc.
Are you able to move closer to work? That seems like a win-win to me. Then you wouldn't have such a long commute, and could have the kids nearby so you could maybe even visit them during your lunch hour.
A 2 hour commute would be a total drag, and as a new mom with 2 kids under 2, you shouldn't even contemplate that. Ugh.
The only other thing I could suggest would be a nanny (live-in, if you have the room, or day nanny, if you don't). We had nannies when our kids were tiny, and my commute was 1+ hours in each direction. Since your kids are so close in age, this may be a good option for you (since as we all know, infant care is so expensive that tuition at a daycare place x2 may equal what you'd pay a nanny). Your mom could maybe back up the nanny, in the event you're ever running late, or the nanny calls in sick, or whatever.
You have a stressful situation, but are not alone. There is a woman with a toddler who gets on the train each day at 5:45am, goes to downtown, and returns in the evening with him.
I think your solution might be in your post! IF you found a home daycare you liked...most home daycares are only too happy to have and please clients, so if you need earlier hours with the daycare, ask! Check locally, ask around. I actually think hiring one person to come to your home would be best. No worries about the kids getting up early, etc. They are safe and not on the road.
If you must drive with them long distances on a dangerous highway, I would suggest making sure they are rear-facing (our kids are until age 4), and have your carseats inspected. Use center seating positions for any seats you can. I'm just trying to think of the safest way to travel with them if you MUST.
