Transitioning from Crib to Big Girl Bed

Updated on July 27, 2009
K.G. asks from Hill AFB, UT
9 answers

Hi Ladies,
I am needing advice on how to transition my 2 year old daughter out of her crib and into another room with a full size bed. We are expecting a new baby soon and need the crib available. Do I start with just naps for awhile, or should I move her over all at once? Also, how do I not get into the habit of lying down with her to get her to fall asleep? Any tips are greatly appreciated!

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

I did the same thing as the other two responses, about the bedding. Girls just love that stuff. As far as not staying with her, I just would never do it, from day one. If you do it just once, you will have a hard time stopping. Read a story, give her the favorite doll or animal, tell her she is such a big girl, and leave. I told both of my kids that they could not get out of bed until Mommy or Daddy came to get them, and left plenty of books and stuffed animals on the bed for them to play with. Neither ever got out of bed until I came to get them, no kidding. I just made it as such a big kid thing, and they loved it. Good Luck.

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S.S.

answers from Cheyenne on

My son was moved to a toddler bed when he was 13 months old, not because he was climbing out or anything, but because we are expecting #2 as well and wanted him out of his crib for long enough time to feel comfortable with the baby sleeping in "his" crib. I put the bed up in his room with the sheets thinking I would let him see the bed for a few days before starting with naps, but my son had other ideas...the first night he climbed right in and threw a fit when I tried to move him to his crib, so he was in it 100% from day 1! We just made a big deal about his "big boy car bed" and he wanted to sleep there every night! My son is very small, but he does fine. The only reason we didn't get a twin bed with a rail is due to space in the nursery, but the toddler bed is wonderful as he can climb out and in himself and your daughter might love a princess or Dora bed if that is an option. He did fall out a few times in the middle of the night, but he was fine...didn't even wake up most of the time and the times he did, it was easy to put him back into bed! I wouldn't be afraid to transition her...these kids are really more resiliant than we give them credit for!

We bought a travel-size pillow and put it under the fitted sheet, which he loves and the comforter and sheets don't go all the way up to the top, so I don't worry about him getting buried. As far as safety, we put a tall gate at his door (or in the hallway if you have a house where your bedrooms are across the hall so she can get to you in the AM...and maybe climb into bed for a few more minutes of sleep!!!) and childproofed all this room, put a few safe toys and books in his room so when he gets up in the morning, he can play a little before waking us up- though this rarely happens now since he is potty trained so within minutes of waking up he's at the gate asking to go pee. Granted, I often walk in to all the toys and books off the shelf AND the drawers emptied of clothes as he often plays a bit before bed. I also would put a spill-proof glass with some water (before he was potty trained) and a few "love-ies" in bed with him...even bought him a glo-worm that sings and lights up that he loves to push as he goes to sleep.

At bedtime, we put him in bed and then if we hear him get out, we put him straight back in and tell him good night and promtly leave the room. At the start sometimes it took 5-7 times of putting him back before he goes to sleep, but other nights we put him in once and he goes right to sleep. Music, a dark room and whatever toys he wanted to sleep with seemed the best to get him asleep fast! As he got used to sleeping in his bed, we did occasionally find him asleep by the gate and I would just lift him into his bed and everything was fine. He did go through a stage of about a week where he didn't want to fall asleep in his bed, so I picked my battles and we bought him a play tent and told him he had to pick one or the other...he loved sleeping in his tent, but now it is old news and he is back to sleeping in his bed! If you are concerned, do a few days of a trial run during nap times, but for the most part there really isn't any struggle. As far as lying with her, I would occasionally have a night where he would need me to lay with him for a few minutes (sick or teething), but I would stay for a few minutes and rub his back and then tell him that I had to go sleep in my "big girl bed" and he had to stay in his "big boy bed" and that reasoning seemed to work well. Anyway, good luck with transitioning. It is well worth it!

Oh, BTW, I have a post in that I asked a similar question, so you might check that out in my profile too! Good luck!

S., 26, mom of 20-month-old and #2 boy due in Aug

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B.L.

answers from Billings on

Here is what I did with my older two, and plan on doing with my third when old enough. Is lay her down just for naps, if she has a stuffed animal or blanket she loves when she is in her crib for bed, let her have it in her big girl bed. And if she wants you to laydown with her, tell her you will read her a story, then you need to leave the room, to go do something(I would tell my kids, I'm going to go laydown in my bed to take a nap also), also let her know, that big girls dont need mommy to go to sleep. One thing that worked for my son, becuase we had to hurry up and get him out of his crib and into a bed, we had another family moving in with us and needed our crib, I took a picture of myself and put it right next to his bed, where he could see it when ever he wanted. I wish you luck.

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L.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello K. -

We just went through the same thing when my son was born less than a year ago and my daughter was 2. It worked out much easier for us than we had expected. We simply put the crib in the room where her new bed was. The first night she was there, she asked "whose bed is that?" and we answered "it's a big bed. it's for a big kid." She immediately said "I'm a BIG kid!" and begged to sleep in that bed. So we let her, but said if she got up and left the bed, we would have to put her back in her crib. She slept that night in the bed, and since then, she's never gotten out in the night and is just now starting to get out herself in the morning. (She'd stay there and call us in the am just as she did when she was in her crib!).

She also asks for "mommy to stay with me" on many nights. I tell her "mommy doesn't sleep here, we all sleep in our own beds" but that I will lay next to her for "1 minute". When I get up, sometimes she asks me to stay and sometimes not. When she asks me to stay, I tell her "I'll come back and check on you. For now, just close your eyes, it's bed time" and MOST of the time, this works like a charm and she puts herself to sleep.

Good luck to you! It may be a lot easier than you're anticipating...

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A.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We moved our daughter a week ago. We just moved her straight over to her toddler bed. She was so excited she loves to show everyone her big girl bed. Good luck.

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E.H.

answers from Denver on

I am a child sleep consultant (Compassionate Sleep Solutions) and I had to respond to this. Save yourself the struggle. Keep her in the crib. Unless she is showing major signs of readiness to be in a bed, which is extremely rare for a 2 year old, keep her in the crib. Developmentally, two year old's are incapable of self containment. If they can get out of something, they will. If you need the crib for your baby and can't afford a new one then borrow one, or buy a used one. I have families (mine included) whose children slept in cribs until they were almost 4. Here are the signs of readiness to move into a big bed.
1. They remain in the same position at wake up that they went to sleep in at night. Meaning their head is on the pillow at the same end of the bed when they wake up.
2. They are begging for a big bed. Meaning they have the language in the form of complete sentences to beg.
3. They are out of diapers and need to get to and from the potty in the night.
Some people have success and it is not impossible but I find it rare. If you go with the big bed then have the pack and play ready. If she gets out once then she goes in the pack and play. I have done this with toddlers and the toddler will choose the pack and play from the start.
This tells me that the toddler not only needs containment but wants containment.
But there are rare independent little birds that can transition fine into an escapable nest.

Warmly,
E. Henry, Compassionate Sleep Solutions

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi K. - you have a two-fold challenge on your hands because not only is she moving to a bed but also a new room. My oldest was really attached to his room and even chose it over moving into the larger second bedroom. He'll regret it for sure when he's 13!

If it's possible, maybe consider moving the nursery to the other room?

The big thing is to help her feel like she is moving into something better rather than resenting being kicked out by the new baby. Perhaps if she is able, help her pick out the colors or theme of the new room. If she's too young to do that yet or if your budget is limited, perhaps help her pick out a new bed spread with a character on it that she likes.

I was thinking that maybe if you showed her some of her newborn clothes compared to the ones she wears now, it will help her understand that she is growing bigger and it's time to leave her baby bed behind just like she is leaving her old baby clothes behind for the new baby.

congratulations and blessings to your growing family!

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We did two things that worked really well with both our girls. First, I took them to the store and let them pick out their bedding. We made it a special date, and I think we went out for ice cream or something after. I made a big deal and let them pick exactly what they wanted. My second daughter ended up wanting what her big sister has, so their room actually matches! I let them help me make the bed, and while we did that I really talked up how fun it would be to sleep in their new bed. They both got really excited for that first night. Second, we used the Supernanny method. We did their nighttime routine and then put them in bed. Everytime they got up, we put them back to bed with no talking, no eye contact. Just straight back to bed. The first night, we had to do it about 10 times with each of them. By the 5th night with both of them, they stayed in bed and went to sleep. Oh, and I also bought a side guard for them. It helped ease the transition out of the crib. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Denver on

I highly recommend making the move as soon as possible so your little girl doesn't associate it with the new baby.

I started by talking to my children about the change to a new bed, had them pick out the sheets and other necessary items, and then had them choose if they wanted to do just naptime in it or both nap and night.

It is good to involve the child in the decision and explain why it's being done. In your case, she is not a baby anymore and she needs to start sleeping in a big girl bed. Good luck!

Make it a GREAT day!

S.

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