Toys for Tots Program Venting

I know a lot of people on here do not believe in KARMA, but I do.. I think what you put out there comes back to you 10x.

That can be good if you put good out there, or it can be bad if you put bad out there.

We made a lot of choices to do without. I could have worked 2 jobs and so could my husband to have a nicer bigger house, new cars, fancy clothes.. But we wanted to spend more time instead of money on each other.. It was and is totally worth it.

You will find you are better off too. I avoid people that feel entitled. I do not need that around me. I appreciate honest hard working people with their priorities are honesty and helping others instead of themselves.

I think my life is fuller than people willing to compromise their priorities by cheating others.

Hang in there and thanks for letting me vent.

If they qualify for WIC, they're poor. That's all there is to it. To ME... I don't care if someone is poor ENOUGH.

As a former US Marine (the Marines run the program)... MOST enlisted families are poor. Yes, guaranteed housing and medical, and no one will ever starve in the military... but most families are poor.

Living in that environment, you can really see how people with the same amounts of money spend it differently. It's actually possible to carve out quite a happy and joyous life for yourself with very little money. But just because people carve out a nice life on 12k or 15k or 25k a year doesn't mean they should be x'd out of the program. If you're poor, you qualify. Period.

Trust me... the Marines don't care if you're destitute. It isn't Toys for Homeless Tots, or Toys for Starving Tots. It's Toys for Tots. Meant to make things EASIER on families who don't have a lot. They don't provide an entire christmas... they typically provide 2 toys per child. It's a token. It's a little christmas magic...

It's a HELP UP, not a hand out. A HELP, not a fix.

YES, we all know that providing free toys frees up money for other things. That's it's POINT.

IF this is behavior that is not normal from this brother than maybe you need to sit back and take a breath and know that you do not know EVERYTHING that is going on with this family.
I just got a new iphone4. I paid nothing for it! How? Well, we had a free upgrade and my husband had an old iphone that someone gave him since it didn't work and we returned it and got a $170 credit to our account. So...free! yeah! maybe your BIL did the same thing.
I understand the need to vent, I really do. I have a brother and SIL that I feel do the same thing...but they buy a TON of beer and never seem to have any money. I just have to sit back and say...not my issue.
I give to the T4T and whatever other organization when I can because I know that people that take advantage are the exception, not the norm.
Merry Christmas.
L.

Unless you know every little detail of their finances and life, then you REALLY are just speculating here. Of course, you could be completely right and that would piss me off too. No matter the situation, those kids are going to have a better Christmas because of Toys for Tots. If the parents are taking this without a real need, then shame on them. That is on the parents though...the children should not have to suffer for bad parenting decisions.

I think it's good that you vented but I wouldn't say anything to my family members unless they asked why I didn't sign up for the same thing.

It's none of your business unless they make it your business.

I applaud you and your sacrifices for your family. You are storing up treasures in heaven.

JMO.

Consider the Toys 4 Tots gifts as gifts because people who donate to the program do so knowing that children will be happy. A gift has no strings attached.

You have chosen your life style and they have chosen theirs. It's not up to us to judge other people's choices. Nurture a loving spirit in yourself and you'll find the anger recede.

I had a foster child during the holiday season and she received gifts from similar programs through CSD. I could afford giving her gifts and her family gave her gifts but she still received more gifts. She felt so happy that others had thought of her at this time. The focus is on charity which means love.

I wonder if your anger is rooted in jealousy. You'd like to have that extra assistance but feel that it's wrong. Your choice. I suggest that if instead of berating your family members you focus on your feelings, accept them, forgive your family members and yourself, that the anger will eventually go away.

As far as attending private school..my brother and I went to local Catholic school for 7 years each...almost exclusively on scholarship. We were on welfare most of those years (had 2 older siblings as well). Parents divorced when I was 3 (I am the youngest), and dumb judge decided $40 a kid was good child support back in 1972..and it was never raised until the last 2 of us were in High school.

We were poor. We got TFT quite a few years and they (along with a few family friends and my godparents who gave us gifts...we had no other family)...were the only toys we got. Mom made us new pillow cases, slippers, Ps and other clothes. Dad bought us uniform items (socks, new uniform tops and shoes and winter boots...yup it was fun Christmas at his place).

I know many who qulify for WIC or food stamps that I think shouldn't...but thats not my call. Hard to swallow, yes, but not my call. Newer cars than us, maybe a SAHM (while I have never had more than 2 weeks of in a row in over 24 years and that was my maternity leave)...hit the bars or other entertainments and vacations that we could never afford, etc.

I feel your pain, but what can you do? Someone else gets to decide those things..kids will have a better Christmas and thats what counts. They can't help it if their parents might make poor decisions...JMO~

That is terrible. T4T needs to be a little more stricter on their guidelines to catch people like that.

Hugs.

Like others have said, it's your issue to get over, not theirs. In your heart, you should be happy for their children, and not worry about poor--or whatever--choices that the adults are making. That's on them. You thinking about it, judging, etc. is just bringing you down. Be happy that there are programs out there and that they have the wherewithal to use them.

There is a difference between being broke because it's self inflicted (like your family member) and being genuinely living in poverty. I think it's unfortunate that people take advantage, but there will always be those people who feel like it's owed to them. They know it's wrong & don't care. Unfortunately, you can't control what others do, so it's not worth being upset over, in my opinion.

If I'm not mistaken you can only get Toys for Tots, I think that's the program I'm thinking of, to help you once ever. So they can't do this again.

Secondly, T4T program set forth standards for their individuals in the program. They obviously met them regardless if they use their extra dollars stupid or not. Not like the take that into account and say oh but this is deducted or something.

Sounds more like they need to learn how to live within their means. Maybe it's a new thing not to know how to? I don't know.

But sounds more to me like you are angry about you guys not getting help yet they get more luxuries some how. Well I'd just let it go. Life isn't fair and really if you spend your time being upset over stuff like this you'll be upset your whole life. I'd just be happy your nieces and nephews are getting a good Christmas... regardless of how it is arrived at and regardless if you think it is deserved or not.

I know I am late but I had to post on this one. When my hubby and I were young and first married. My hubby was in the army. He got let go of his first job because he got called to go overseas. When he came back we had a new baby and i was working two jobs while he could not get anything because everyone was afraid he would get called over again (I know they are not supposed to do that but it does happen) anyway we totally could have gotten all the help out there. We made little of nothing. When he finally did get a job he got two crummy part time jobs. he worked 7 days a week and most of the time worked back to back. We thought we were doing the right thing by putting our nose to the grindstone and working hard instead of getting WIC or food stamps. As soon as my hubby was out of the army he got a much better job right away and things got better. So now my other part of the story. We have some friends. They adopted a friend’s child because he went crazy and could not care for her anymore. I thought that was great that they did this (keep in mind they got $2000 a month to help with the child’s costs and free daycare while they were fostering her) They took forever to actually adopt her and kept wanting to faster more and I could not understand why until I found out about the money. Anyway the whole time they are getting this money they bought an xbox 360, tons of games, lots of junk food, new cell phones, they traded off and went to the bar about every week, and they went on lots of trips. The whole 9 yards. Then since I was prego she decides that she wants to have a baby. Fast forward two months they adoption is now complete. They are still buying a lot of beer and junk like that. When she had the baby and we went to visit her in the hospital she told me that they were going on wic and some other programs because formula was so expensive (I breast fed because we also could not afford formula). Then she tells me that its a good thing they give you diapers and formula in the hosp because the WIC does not kick in for a week and they could not afford formula for the baby until that kicks in! i just about lost in. They can afford to party it up a few days ago and now they can not afford food for there kid? Really!!! Anyway thanks for letting me get that one out as well! :)