Too Sick or Not?

I ran a family daycare for 20 years. Yes when the child had a cold they would come but when the cold was so bad the child needed to be held all day I would call the parents. No one likes being away from home when they feel that bad. Plus, if I was holding one child all day I was not able to provide the proper care for the other children. The parents mostly seemed very understanding when I would call. The parents that were not understanding were usually the same parents that would pick their child up late, pay late, etc...I always put childrens well being first and the parents really seemed to appreciate it.

I am a mom that takes my kids to daycare. And NO you are so not out of line! If mine are clingy and needy... I take time off of work and they stay home with me!

I think Kate said it perfectly.

If the child is fussy and needs to be held all day I think mom or dad should be called to come pick them up. This was how it was at the daycare my oldest went to when I was working.

Your daycare your call. I personally am a working Mother and every single day of PTO I get is used for when my daughter is sick. Never used for personal time. That is what you sign up for when you decide to have children. I would not bring my child to daycare sick. It is ufair to you, the child and the other children. Unfortunately, my viewpoint is rare. Most people will bring their kids no matter what and hope you will not say anything. It is ok to call and send them home. I appreciate it when I get a call. My little girl deserves her Mommy when she is sick. Work can deal with it, if not, I can work some place else. My little girl comes first.

A.:

You should NOT be catching ANY grief for this!!

You are operating a BUSINESS!!! You are NOT doing this out of the kindness of your heart. Day Care's do not allow children in their facility with fevers of 100 or higher - just like yours - which I think is FINE!!

It sounds to me (and I'm sure I'll catch grief for this) that the parents are too concerned about their jobs to take care of their children. (Yes, I realize that people HAVE to work), however, if your child is sick - the best place for them is at THEIR HOME! That's MY take.

if the child is keeping you from taking care of the other children, then you need to call the parent and tell them that their child needs THEM and needs to be home. just because they aren't vomiting or have a fever over 100 doesn't mean they aren't sick!!

I do home daycare just a handful of miles down the road from you....and I have all the same policies...but a good group of parents. I also have it in my policies that I, and only I, get to decided whats too sick. If it hinders my care of the other children excessively, I will send them home, or say they need to be kept home. Its rare that happens, but I have done it many times in my 13 years in DC. While a parent at home, managing one or even 2 ill chidren may not seem a huge challenge, when you are attempting to manage..and even more so, challenge, a group of more children than that (I currently have 7 children all age 3 and under)...its just too hard. A busy playroom is not conducive to recovery from illness. Sometimes parents just need to keep them home.

Then there is the germ spreading. I am a bit of a germophobe...and I still ended up with it, and have been sick for 2 weeks now. My teen daughter has been sick almost 3 weeks. Its gotten out of hand. There is no possible way I could have done more than I have been to be preventing the germs. I lysol the door knob after every parent comes and goes. I bleach toys daily. I clean all common surfaces multiple times a day (doorknobs, banisters, etc) and my hands are washed so much they are drier and more cracked than any normal year at this point.

So, yes, its ok to have a standard where you call the shots.

All you have to do is put yourself in your parents position. If I am bringing my well child to your daycare and they are exposed to the cold and coughing and get sick......I wouldn't be happy. Nothing left to say in my opinion.

I don't know, I'm sort of on the fence here. If a child is really sick, yes, keep them home. But sometimes a cold lingers a little longer, even though you are feeling a little better. I've had this cough for over a week, just when I think I'm getting better I feel worse. Have I missed any work? No, but as for a child, if they are wanting to be held, they need to be at home. I've been guilty of dropping a sick child off at daycare when they should have been home, and will get the call from the daycare to pick up my child. Sometimes as single parent or what ever your circumstance is, it's hard dealing with a cold all the way around.

I work full-time but don't think a child who is so sick he/she is fussy, needs to be held etc should be sent to daycare. I think it's fair for you to say the child needs to stay home. The sick child could infect others and is keeping you from tending to the others properly. There's no argument I can see against that except the parent needs to go to work. But that's one of the downsides of using daycare versus staying home or having a nanny/nanny share or having no alternative/backup plans. People have to take the good with that bad. It's not your responsibility.

I am a working mom who sends 2 kids to an inhome daycare, and unless they are running a fever i bring them. With as often as kids get colds if i stayed home evertime they had one i would be fired! A cold is a cold, and as long as they dont have a fever they go. I think if my daycare provider said they couldn't come with a cold i would find a new provider. Im sure you expect to still get paid for those days and some parents dont have much if any sick time so they would be out money. I do not think a cold is a reason to make a parent keep a child home. We dont enjoy having to send our kids when they have a cold but most of us dont have a choice either. A lot of places are not that flexible. As a parent i know kids get colds and in the winter time thats just what you deal with. I dont get upset when other kids come with colds because there is not much you can do. That is just my opinion though.

Sounds like cherly o is luck enough to be a stay at home mom. I take care of my kids and if they are that sick that they need me i am there for them, but i also have to work to keep a roof over thier head and food on the table, and can not possibly stay home for every little cold because thier daycare does not want to wipe thier nose.
A bad bad cold yes make them stay home but kids have colds constantly, and working moms cant loose their jobs either.

The daycare I sent my son to had a wonderful sick policy. They did not freak out about contagious diseases--figuring that if a kid was sick, they'd probably already spread the germs around. BUT...the issue was, obviously, much bigger than contagion; it was time and energy. Kids who are throwing up or have diarrhea take a lot of TIME to care for. Kids who are miserable and just want to be held, or who need noses or eyes wiped, or who need more naps, need more time from a childcare provider than they can realistically give with multiple children in their care. That said, their general policy was "If your kid is so sick that all he wants is momma, keep him home" which was a really good, fair policy. Obviously, they also adhered to state(?) rules that said fever, vomiting, diarrhea, rashes, goopy eyes...stayed home, but, more significant than even those things was, if your child just wants YOU, please keep him home. We had a couple nasty colds in our house this fall, and I probably would not have sent my kids to daycare. Older kids can handle feeling that way, but little kids are just miserable. I'd say it's very fair to re-vamp your policy and to ask parents to keep kids home sick if they are very clingy or miserable. I'd also say it's fair to call a parent to say, "Your child is so sad here and miserable. He'd really be much happier at home with you. Could you please pick him up?" Those really miserable are generally short-lived; you are not asking parents to take a week off work.

Colds are contagious illnesses which are clearly stated in your policy. And they are SUPER visable/ easy to spot by the whole colored mucus and having to wipe their nose every 2 minutes. Their infected mucus is smearing all over your daycare and other people's children. And, quite frankly, unless you have a laboratory in your daycare... I'm assuming you're not doing cultures to find out if it's ACTUALLY a cold, or if it's strep, bronchitis, or pertussis. All 3 of which start off looking like a cold, and are often fever free in the first few most contagious days.

Send out a reminder. It can be worded upbeat and nicely and still be very firm. I would also include a bit where if it becomes obvious during the day parents will be receiving a phonecall.

In most cities hospitals offer "sick child daycare". You might even look up to see if yours does and put their contact info on your reminder.

ADDED:

Our preschool had a STRICT "no sick children" policy. In the 3 years we were there it was AMAZING how few times we got sick, and how *QUICKLY* the kids recovered when they were kept home and taken care of. Versus daycares & preschools with lax policies that my friends used. They were sick from October to May... just kind of constantly. The kids in our school, however, might be sick once every other month for a few days. It's true for adults, as well. When we can actually stay home and take care of ourselves we're better in no time. When we keep working and pushing our bodies, however, we're sick for AGES. The immune system needs the body to REST in order to function properly. Every time we force our bodies to switch to the sympathetic nervous system, our immune system (under the parasympathetic nervous system) gets shut off, allowing bacteria and viruses to breed uncontrollably. 2 steps forward, 1 step back... instead of just moving swiftly forward.

Hi A.
Great question to ask and I definely wont give you grief even though my son attends full time day care.
This time of year is a pain for us. It is winter here in Ireland and my son seems to have a constant cold since the last two months.
This cold alternates between a runny nose and then full on coughing and all the rest.
Now as I work full time it is not possible to keep him out of daycare for the winter season.
I have talked to the staff and they say all the children are the same, constantly having runny noses etc.
The days he is really sick my husband or I change our scheludes and keep him at home.
I hate sending him in with his cold,I wrap him warm,vicks on his chest and try not to punish myself with the guilt.
I hope this gives you a parent perspective.
B. k.
Just to add it is easier for " working from home" Moms to say that the child needs to be kept at home !!

When I worked at the day care here, we also sent kids home for the reasons you do. Runny noses aren't enough to send them home, but my guess is that child who wants to be held all the time and just feels so crappy also is running a lowgrade fever and was given meds to keep the fever down. That was my biggest pet pieve when I worked at day care... parents who would medicate their childs symptons and expose the rest of the kids and the providers to the illness. The parents say "well we have to work, what are we to do?" I usually tell them "get the provider sick and no one has day care" how inconvent is that?

Use lysol and clean with bleach and water, wiping the door knobs, toilet flush handle and the bathroom faucet often. Have all kids wash their hands if you see them wipe their nose on their hands or sleaves like kids do, and wash your hands often or have hand sanitizer available.

I also know that for the first 6 months I caught everything that was brought in until my immune system was able to handle the germs... so good luck.

I take my son to daycare when he has a cold. After all he has almost always gotten it there anyway. Most of us are already exposed to sick people at work, the supermarket and (worst of all) the doctor's office. And many people really need to save their days off for a true emergency.

In my opinion being on both sides - I have had children in strict daycares while working and sick all the time, had children in lax daycares sick all the time and a SAHM and watched one family's child and let's face it, kids get sick. True, you can get it anywhere but it's easier for kids to get sick from each other. I cleaned, cleaned cleaned every day and especially when mine or other kids were ill, even just a runny nose.
My only thing to add when running your own business is that they should be sent home when they are too ill to participate in their normal activities. Like you said, if they are needing to be held all day or requiring all the attention, they need to go home. I used to think about "what would the public school do right now?" If my kindergartner was whiney and nose running like crazy and really lethargic they would be calling me to pick her up. Plain and simple. I know it's hard to call the parent to pick up their child, I ALWAYS felt guilty because I was on the other side of that at one time and was ALWAYS being called but there is just no way around it sometimes. Good luck to you, stay strong to protect your family and the other children in your care.

If my child was in day care I would keep him home is he was sick, and would not like the idea of him being in care with obviously sick children. I would make the call.

I think it makes a huge difference is the kid is ACTING sick or not. Miserable and wanting to be held all day? The kid should be at home resting. Lingering cough and sniffles, but playful and active? Daycare should be ok.

Yes, it DOES make a big difference for working moms, as sick time is used up like that, and personal days are sparse, as is vacation time. I ended up deciding to be a SAHM when I got pregnant with my 2nd kid because I KNEW that my work was sick of my having to leave every time that my son got sick, and oftentimes I would have to be gone for a few to several days at a time.

I agree that the kids should be taught from a very young age how to wipe their noses. My 18 month old does it now.

Take care of yourself too. My mother did daycare for over 20 years. The kids all had colds one winter and my mother had one too, when my dad encouraged her to go to the doctor because her chest hurt, she waited longer than she should have, the doctor sent her in an ambulance to the hospital because of pnemonia. At the hospital she seemed to be getting better, but than we think she caught an antibiotic form of pnemonia at the hospital and passed away at the age of 49.

I just want everyone to not only think about the kids, but the care that you are giving yourself.

If they're in the middle of their sickness, they should be home. If they have been sick and are getting better but the runny nose and cough is lingering, then that should be fine. I asked my doctor this because with little ones spreading colds through out the house, my in laws were saying that they didn't want my kids around if anyone in my house was sick, even if some weren't sick or didn't want them around if they had been sick even if they were feeling better. My doctor said that they only need to be home if they are in the middle of feeling crummy. When it's obvious that they are sick, like what you mentioned above or needing to be held all day. But if they're playing around and feeling fine with a few minor symptoms, they should be good to go. Usually, the worst of a cold is just a couple days anyway unless they get a nasty bug that lasts longer. But they'd be too sick to come at this point. Good luck! =)

As a mom who lost plenty of work days when my daughter was young, AND as an older person who has fragile lungs, I hope working moms realize that they are putting other people's health at risk when they take a contagious child to daycare. The other children then take that illness home to grandparents and young siblings with health issues, family members with compromised immunity, and people with no or inadequate health insurance.

My grandson passed 4 serious colds (contracted at daycare) on to me in the past 2.5 years. Because my very expensive insurance policy has a very high deductible, I paid well over $1000 out-of-pocket for the resulting lung infections I got. Not to mention the difficulty dealing with serious and painful illness myself.

Your policies are entirely reasonable. There is more at stake than just the working parents' convenience, and working parents would do well to arrange standby care if they can't take the time off work to be with their sick children. Parenting asks a great deal of us, and that's just one of the realities.

I take my child to an "institutional" rather than a "home" day care. In their illness policy they include a clause for situations like the one you describe, I think the wording is something like, "any other situation where the child requires a level of care that detracts from the level of care of other kids." If a child wants to be held all day, they should be with parent/guardian. I would suggest adding something like this to your policies. As a parent, I would rather be called and be home with my kid if they needed that much care. I hope no one gives you grief for this post--I think it was a great question and I am home with my recovering child today!

I have a child with Cystic Fibrosis and for me I would appreciate the least amount of exposure to the colds as possible since he isn't as resistant to them. I do think you should just take it child by child and go with your instincts.

I guess if I were you I would check with other daycares and see what their policy is regarding really bad colds. Obviously colds are inevitable this time of year and dealing with this problems for many winter months is likely. You could use the opportunity to stress good hygiene skills such as hand washing and covering mouths and nose when coughing or sneezing. For those kids that this learning is applicable.
Could you request a parent meeting and share your concerns that you have shared here? I think you have a very valid point and the parents would appreciate the fact that you are looking out for their kids' best interest when it comes to their health. Good luck!
A.

I don't think that you are wrong, but I am not in a working Mom's shoes. I am a WAHM mom, who takes her daughter to different activites, however, if she has a cold, I have the luxury of staying home with her.

I think Mom's who have to go to the office would be out of a job if they stayed home every time thier child had a cold - sad reality, but true.

Maybe make a cuddle corner for the sick ones? Lot of blankets and stuffed animals so they could stay cosy while you are helping the other kids. And try teaching them how to use a tissue (nice if their parents would but...) my daughter started to try blowing on her own at 2, and even though she couldn't really blow, she cerainly could wipe...

Good luck with souch a tricky issue....

No.

My kids aren't in daycare but one is a 1st grader, the other a 2nd grader. If you can't take the child to the doctor and get a note your day off isn't forgiven. All doctor's will tell you to stay home for a cold. Going unless severe symptoms isn't necessary and wasting appointments for those that really need them.

So if they can go to school. . . I'd say they should definitely go to daycare.

Hi,
First let me say good Day Care Providers are a rare and wonderful . It takes a tremendous amount of love and patience to care for other people's children. I thought I knew the answer to your questions about sick children but I waited to talk with my daughter who has been a licensed day care provider for the past 15 years. She attends scheduled state day care conferences and told me this very subject was addressed at one of them. It really addressed both your issues. One being the wiping of their noses. If what you are wiping is greenish in color, the child has a virus and is contageous. The parent should be asked to take their child home. It is too difficult to segregate the toys that child is playing with so you can disinfect those toys and you should not exposed the other children in your care to the virus. Your other question was also address. When a child is so miserable that you need to hold him/her all day, the speaker advised that the child really wants it's mother and by channelling so much of your attention onto one child, you are not able to give the attention and care to the other children that is expected of you as their day care prover and that the other parents are paying you to provide. I hope this helps and God Bless You for being a day care provider.

As a single Mom I can understand your issue. Working Moms depend upon their daycare provider as much as the daycare provider depends upon them. I would not be happy if my healthy kids were always being exposed to a variety of illnesses but I also understand that many parents can not take time off because their kids are sick.
The only solution I can come up with is to have a sick child room and a separate person to take care of the kids in that room. I would also charge a little extra for taking sick kids.

The one I go to - says " a nasal discharge that requires constant wiping" vomiting, fever, uncontrollable coughing, oozing skin rashes or contagious skin diseases.