Toddler Says No to Bath Time!

Updated on January 19, 2008
K.S. asks from Redmond, WA
21 answers

Hi everyone,

We have a toddler who used to love baths. But, recently right before she turned 2 she began to hate them. We are not sure if something happened at bath time before, or what? We have had a couple activities stop, like swim class because it was so far away. We are wondering if she just misses classes. What do you think?

I did some research and it said that sometimes this happens to kids for no apparent reason. Has anyone had this happen before? If so, any advice on how to coax her back into loving bath time would be very helpful and appreciated.

Blessings to you all.... :)

Katherine

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So What Happened?

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for all the responses and great advice! I unfortunately cannot really get in the tub because it is too small, but things are getting better with her. She is much more relaxed now. I am thinking mornings or early afternoon before nap is a good bath time. :) We will play it by ear though and see how she responds to specific bath times.

It seems whenever I ask a question to mamasource the issue begins to work out. Yay! :) I put her in the tub and added two water toys. She now has an art desk that floats as well as a dora water book. She did really well today. She was obviously having fun because she was giggly and all smiles. :) I did not attempt to tackle washing the hair, but plan to do that next time. Thank you again so much for all the loving words of wisdom and experience. I am glad other kids have dealt with this too. :) It is also helpful for me to know that all of you loving moms are here to assist, support and encourage me to be patient and calm.

Blessings,

Katherine

Featured Answers

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My son went though a similar phase where he hated to take baths. So For a few nights I got in the shower with him because "big boys take showers sometimes". Then he wanted to take showers alone. Then I started closing the drain to have a "shower bath". Then I added bubbles, and he wanted nothing to do with showers, he wanted bubble baths.

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R.G.

answers from Seattle on

Oh yeah, we went through this too. What I did to get mine back on track was bath crayons (they're specifically made for the bathtub and come RIGHT off, and they're awesome fun) and bath toys. My kids each have a toy that they like to take in the tub and it's become their tradition to have a bath toy now. They used to scream and scream and now they're content letting me wash them as long as they get to color and/or play with their toy. We also had a huge problem with my daughter and hair washing, but I gave her a wash cloth and told her to cover her eyes with it while I was rinsing and she's ok now.

We started the toys about two years ago, and its worked great since. Good luck!!

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J.C.

answers from Medford on

Perhaps you can make bath time special by having special toys that are only available in the bath. Does she like to color with crayons? My 1 1/2 year old has bath crayons that he adores! They work on most any shower/tub surface and bodies too! They come off easily and are completely non-toxic. He asks for baths and showers all the time now so that he can get to play with his crayons. If coloring isn't her thing, I know there are lots of other great bath time toys out there. Maybe include her in picking them out - make a big deal about how special her new toy is.
One other though I had was to try bathing or showering with her. Maybe it's an insecurity thing. My husband has been inviting my son to shower with him and it has been a wonderful bonding experience for them both. I think my son has become especially comfortable in the water since they began this practice.
Good luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Portland on

Try a shower. Both my boys are 'shower babies' but that's due to me being home alone a lot and I used the shower to multi task- I could get one clean and nursed while the other slept etc... now they both prefer a shower, the toddler takes one with a parent; but it gives him much more freedom than a bath and I don't have splash-y messes to clean up after!
But I'm wondering if maybe your daughter got an infection from the bath.......Mr. Bubbles (old school) used to be notorious for vaginal infections due to the harsh detergent - so if you are using a bubble bath that might be irritating or if she's on the potty yet, she might be getting wiped too hard or have gotten wiped the wrong direction bringing fecal material into her vagina.

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T.S.

answers from Yakima on

The same thing happened to us about the age of 2, when suddenly our daughter refused to get in the bath tub. We bought her a doll that sits in a floaty and she can spray water on her. So, now her baby takes a bath with her and bath time is fun again. Good luck!!

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L.P.

answers from Portland on

As a mom to a 2 1/2 year old boy, I can tell you just one thing for sure: the only thing predictable about toddlers is their unpredictability! My son has gone through loved/hated baths, refused/alllowed/refused/allowed hair-washing, gobbling breadsticks like they were candy/rejected every breadstick known to man, obsessing over Yo Gabba Gabba/hating Yo Gabba Gabba...you get the point. Just when I think I know something absolutely, positively, sure-fire about him, he changes. Then changes back. Then throws me a curve ball from a completely unexpected direction. I've kind of learned to say "at this moment" about things: "He loves spaghetti, at this moment".

Maybe try alternatives to the bath tub: shower? sink bath? (a personal favorite of my guy during a no bathtub phase) Sometimes you just have to say "whatever" too. Your 2 year old probably doesn't need a bath everyday.

My son also loves these Crayola color tablets (you can buy them at babies r us or toys r us in the bath aisle--get the Crayola brand though not the ones with Sesame Street Characters because they smell like old lady perfume and make my son sneeze every time he opens them) that you add to the water to make it colored. I do worry a little about bathing him in food coloring, but it gets him in the tub when nothing else will (and seems to cause less skin irritation than bubbles).

Best of luck to you!

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G.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi
I just went through a spell with my 3 yr old. He started not wanting to take a bath, at first I just figured he was just into what ever he was doing at that time and did not push him. The next night we went through it again, I forst him in (had to he was covered in food) had to fight to get him in and had to fight to get him out (after 1 1/2 hours). This went on for about 6 months, I believe this may be a control thing, they have the control to take a bath or not.

Try different tricks to get her in. You might even have Daddy or Grandma help. This will pass, it is a growth change.
Good luck

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J.V.

answers from Seattle on

Can you take a bath with her? I'm sure she wants to be doing what mommy's doing, so dive in!
Good luck,
J.

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D.V.

answers from Portland on

Our 2 yr old daughter became resistant to bath time after she had a fever & we had to cool her down in the tub. Prior to that she was eager to bathe. Rather than let her maintain her aversion I told her gently that taking a bath was fun still & got in with her - not easy as I'm 8 months pregnant! She resisted thru that bath & the next. The next one we incorporated using the shower head to add interest. We went from plain baths to bubble baths. By the 4th bath she was okay w/ them again. We had to let her know we understood that the cool bath during her fever wasn't fun for her, but now she wasn't sick it would be fun again. Being calm, gentle & firm, willing to make the bath happen thru screams helped show her the tantrum wasn't necessary or effective.
You could be right on the money that it has something to do with not going swimming anymore. Or it could be one more way she is asserting her independence. I've discovered (& my husband is in the process of learning) that I need to discuss things with our daughter now, rather than just pick her up & bring her to achieve whatever task is needing to be done (potty, brushing teeth, washing hands, etc). Everything takes longer now, but I'm blessed to be a stay at home mom so it's not like I don't have the time!
Don't give up, just keep on with gentle insistence. Better to work on it now than give up & suffer as my brother does with a daughter who at age 5 still screams like a banshee when she gets her hair washed. It's good for her to assert her independence but as the parent you still need to set the boundaries.

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

1) There is never no reason. That is a lie experts tell us wwhen they don't know the answer :(.
2) We can't always figure out the reason. I read a great article once, I think in Mothering, about how children process trauma, and sometimes things that seem completely unrealted are what shows a hang-up ... so it might be swimming, or it might be that she saw a disturbing image right before some miscellaneous bath, or ...
3) Remember that whatever it is, to her it's important ...

Sometimes giving a doll a bath, or changing the routine (in case some part of bath-entry is a trigger); "Do you want to take a shower with Mommy?"--in case she is feeling controlled and wants to be grown up/wants more control/?. And listen SOOOO carefully to when and where it "goes bad" ... that can be a clue to which things she needs to have changed to feel heard/safe/whatever ...

Best of luck :).

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Out 2 year old daughter recently has been going through the same phase. Turns out she's scared of herself and her toys going down the drain! We've been working on that,in the meantime, it helps if we ask to take a bath and play with her toys, she would rather come with us and play than watch us play with her toys alone, good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Portland on

My oldest daughter (now 8) did the same thing about the same age. I had to get her clean so I took her in the shower with me. When she was 2 1/2 and I couldn't hold her in the shower anymore (too heavy & I got pregnant) I taught her how to safely stand in the shower while I washed her hair. After she was 3 1/2 and her baby sister was old enough to go in the bathtub, she eventually learned to love it again. Now that there is another baby sister, and the younger 2 share a bath, my oldest takes a shower completly on her own.

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C.H.

answers from Seattle on

try taking a shower with her. Or take a bath with her. She may think that she can go down the drain--kids think like that. Being in the bath with her helps her know that she is safe. Just a thought.
C.

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T.M.

answers from Eugene on

Make it a special treat- get some great bathtime music, bubbles, special lights you plug in only at bathtime (like Christmas lights), bath paints, whatever you think will work! In the meantime, just keep plugging along, she'll get over it!

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S.W.

answers from Eugene on

I had the same thing happen to my kiddo, so first I started reading to him while he was in the bath, then I got books on tape (or CD) for him to listen to during bath, both of which he loved. I also got him a snorkel for the bath which is great fun.

I hope this helps...

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D.S.

answers from Bellingham on

Getting into the tub first then inviting her in might help, as might getting some new bath toys or blowing bubbles into the tub. Our DD can usually be coaxed in if I sit in the tub and blow bubbles with the bubble wand or start painting on the walls with the tub paints.

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J.O.

answers from Bellingham on

That happened to my oldest daughter at the same age. We couldn't find a reason for it. We let her pick some special toys to play with in the bath, but it took a little while to get her back in. Now she loves it again.

S.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, Katherine!
My son went through a very similar stage when he was around 1 1/2. Before this time, he loved taking a bath, splashed all around, and had a great time. All of a sudden, though, he refused to sit down and we could only give him a bath while standing up. He would scream if we tried to sit him down. Well, we just let him do what he felt most comfortable with, bought some bath toys and bubbles for him to play with, and after a few months, he started sitting down and enjoying his baths again. I'm not sure if this will help your child, but I wanted you to know that we went through a similar experience. Good luck to you!

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

this is common. we began taking baths with our babies so they wouldn't be so scared. the fear passed.

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L.O.

answers from Seattle on

Hello,
I am wondering if this has been going on for very long? I know that just before our daughter turned two, she began doing very strange things like refusing to let us brush her teeth. I think they just start to test and see what kind of power they have at that age!
We took a Love and Logic class (and loved it by the way) and learned how to use a logical consequence with our daughter. So, the next time she refused to brush her teeth at night before bed, we said, "Oh no, we will take care of this tomorrow." Then, when dessert time came around after dinner the next night, my husband and I each had some ice cream. When my daughter asked for her ice cream, I said, "It's so sad, but only people who protect their teeth by brushing get to have sugary treats like ice cream." As you might imagine, she had a large fit. My husband and I were practically in tears ourselves. But, we held strong and she never had a fit when it came to toothbrushing again!
So, I wonder if you can think of a logical consequence for your daughter. What is something she may have to miss out on due to no bath?
YOu may think she is too young to learn from a logical consequence, but I can almost guarantee she will get it. We started Love and Logic with our daughter when she was 20 months old.
Best wishes!
L.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

My oldest (now 10!) went thru a phase like that. I ended up getting in the bath with her for a while. She was more relaxed sitting in my lap. I think it made her feel more secure. Anyway...give it a try. It worked for me. Now she's a water dog. She virtually taught herself to swim in our neighborhood pool. Loves the water.
MJS

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