To Breastfeeding Moms

Updated on July 19, 2010
A.L. asks from Magna, UT
74 answers

I have two sons that I chose to use formula with, I'm at peace with that choice. I'm very uncomfortable, however, about doing any breastfeeding in public. No offense, but I think it particularly offensive when ladies choose not to cover up while breastfeeding in public, like at a resaraunt. With that said, I am pregnant with baby number 3 and would like explore the option of pumping only so that my baby has the benefits of breastmilk without having to breastfeed in front of anyone. Walk me through it- how big of a pain would it be to just pump 24/7 for the baby? Like litterally painfull? after both of my boys I had plenty of milk come in- and probably for about 2 months could have squeezed 2-3 oz out of pads every hour and a half. Don't think I'm crazy, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of actually breastfeeding. My mom, my grandma, all did bottle feeding so I was never raised around it and it's still a foreign thing to me. I feel like I wouldn't have a great support system to deal with the stress of learning to breastfeed. Talk to me. I don't want to hear all the benefits of breast vs. formula- I've heard them all with both my boys. I just want to hear actual pros and cons to the actual act of breastfeeding/pumping exclusively. thanks

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L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I'm expecting #2 any day now and I have to say that I breastfed & pumped with #1. BF is sooooooooo much easier, once you get the hang of it (I had low milk supply so I had to work xtra hard at keeping supply up)! Pumping is time consuming, not just in the act itself (which isn't bad), but washing & sterilizing & then preparing the storage of the milk, then feeding baby, etc... It did seem like I would just get done doing all of that and it woud be time to go and pump again. It was super nice when I could just sit down and bf and not have to clean anything up. We do enough of that anyway.

I would say if you can swing both methods that's best case scenario. Just bf a little more than pumping, it'll make it a little easier on a busy mom w/ 3 kids.

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A.M.

answers from College Station on

Pumping is such a pain! I dried up at about 6 weeks both children and had been pumping and BF (only in private) and still fried up. Explore it and if it doesnt work look at the 2 boys you have and know formula is just fine. Dont get disappointed if it doesnt work out and I wish you all the luck in the world :)

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it's offensive that you are offended by a mother feeding her child. Even when breastfeeders don't "cover up" they're still showing less than a LOT of women show at the beach! Why should we have to put a blanket over our baby's face, making them hot and sweaty, just to avoid offending someone that seems unable to mind their own business?

To each their own, right? Well that goes for mothers breastfeeding in public too.

5 moms found this helpful
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G.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I know where you come from.
My younger sister was the first mother in our family (among our generation, sisters and cousins. All mother, aunts, grand-mothers had always bottle-fed. When she announced that she would be breastfeeding, she didn't receive any support and we were thinking the whole idea was gross! I was very uncomfortable with her breastfeeding in my presence...
Then, I got pregnant, read a lot about it, has 3 breastfed nephews and decided to try it.
I had my son on the breast right at birth and that completely changed my mindset about it. It was just normal and natural after all. I loved it and had no problem. I never experienced sore or cracked nipples....
It took me weeks before I would breastfeed outside home and a friend offered me a "bebe au lait" nursing cover. I used it a lot at the beginning and then, just got used to the idea and it didn't bother me that much (I was also better at covering myself and not exposing my skin)
I was pumping so my son had my milk when I would go to evening class with no problem. Then, I had a couple of 3-4 days business trips when I had to pump exclusively and in a matter of 2-3 days, I could notice my milk supply going drastically down, even though I was pumping more often than my son was nursing! So, for successful pumping, I would advise you either to pump with your baby very nearby or to try having him/her on the breast when relaxed at home. Some nursing books advise to pump thinking of your baby, watching a picture or with him/her next to you to have the milk let down. I would also advise a good pump, maybe an electric double pump.

Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

Start eating your meals in the bathroom and maybe you'll change your mind about not nursing in public :)
You can be discreet and still feed your baby from your breast. I expose a whole lot more while at the beach with my kids than I ever do nursing them. Our bodies came with breasts for a reason and it's not for our husbands' benefit. I would never ask a bottle feeding mother to feed their baby under a blanket or in another room so why should a breastfeeding mother have to do that? There was a study a few years ago about nursing with covers and it showed that those mothers nursed their babies for a shorter time than the mothers who don't use nursing covers. Just food for thought. I have nursed both my kids so obviously I feel that it's best but in all reality it IS best. I don't say that to try to make anyone feel guilty. Guilt is self-imposed but because it is a fact. This has been proven time and time again. Whatever choice you make, make sure it is informed and stand behind your decision.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

the con is that you will be taking twice as long to feed your baby. it also would be quite difficult in the very beginning to produce enough milk if you never put the baby on your breast, its just not the same. i have heard of some women being able to do it, but often, then need to supplement since the stimulation is not the same.

look, i completely understand where you are coming from. i felt the same exact way with daughter number one. never tried breastfeeding. daughter number 2, i decided to try it. i was so modest at first. there are many types of breastfeeding covers that will fully cover you no matter where you are. then, after awhile, i became a pro and used a lightweight recieving blanket or even a lovey type blanket. i was never baring it all, and i actually never see anyone doing that either. i have fed her in a restaurant at the table with a blanket and no one even knew she was there. you do eventually find a comfort level. for months, i would go upstairs when my inlaws or father was there. you could breastfeed and work it out so you arent doing it in public, like feeding in the car before going shopping at the mall.

and also, i dont see why you couldnt breastfeed at home, go alone for the feeding if people are over, and just bottle feed when out in public. i dont know how social you are, but i would have to think you could build up enough milk in your freezer with an extra pumping one or two times a day.

i dont know if this was the suggestions you wanted, but i will be honest. i dont think you will be able to go longterm with the pumping only. usually women who do are the type who fully believe in breastfeeding but cant for one reason or another. pumping is not something fun to do, and if you dont like the idea of breastfeeding, sitting there with 2 suctions cups attached wont be any better.

i will tell you, you are right, you may not have the support from family. they are going to sabotage you, not meaning to, but they will. "are you sure he is getting enough" will be asked over and over. they dont want to feel they didnt "choose best" by bottle feeding. and they will be jealous they arent part of the feeding, they will worry the baby will be bonded too closely to you. they will question everytime he cries, that he is hungry. but if you dont get the support there, you find it somewhere else. you just need one friend to be your link to the correct info.

i swear, its easier. no night bottle warmings. no ice packs. no bottle washing. you will save so much money. i was you, never was going to breastfeed. after doing it will my youngest(and she never had a bottle her whole life), i would never bottle feed again. you can decide what you feel comfortable with, it doesnt have to be all or nothing. you dont have to breastfeed in public, and you certainly dont have to be whipping it out uncovered to be the poster mom for state nursing laws. you can nurse without being the type of mother you yourself find offensive. you could nurse only at night, you could nurse 3 times a day. whatever makes you feel comfortable.

i wish you lots of luck, i had one aunt who breastfed all her children due to financial reasons really. i remember her as a child, if it hadnt been for her, i would have never even seen a woman nursing until well into adulthood. what we are exposed to really does affect our decision, but dont let others choices dictate yours. if you need any help, contact me anytime for my email.

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I did it. I pumped between classes at school, before and after, and at night. I am not a morning person, but I hear that is the best time to pump, as there is more milk in breasts then. I used Medela pumps. I had a Lactina Select rented from the hospital (hospital grade = top notch) for home and a hand-held one for when I was not home. I would park at school away from other cars, put a cover over myself just in case someone were to happen to walk by, and pump all I could for 20 minutes between classes. I was able to produce enough to give my son breast milk exclusively for 18 months (well, food too, but no formula) before introducing cow's milk.

My son would rarely take both breasts in a single nursing session, so I sometimes let him nurse one side and pump the other at the same time. They say this helps get more milk pumped, but I am not entirely sure it worked like that for me. Like everything else in life, everyone's experiences are different.

I never had any pain except when I was engorged, then it was easily realeased when I pumped. Occasionally my nipples would hurt, but I was determined not to give my son formula. It was tollerable, not unbearable.

I would go to a few La Leche League meetings and try to be more comfortable with nursing in public. There are some really great wraps available out there, and some are quite stylish. Search Internet or Etsy for a variety of options.

HTH! Blessings to you and congrats!!

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I.J.

answers from Syracuse on

Breastfeeding is way easier than bottlefeeding because you can sit and do it anywhere anytime with no preparation or shopping or whatnot. But pumping out your milk and sticking it in a bottle to give to the baby is like the worst of both those worlds. For one thing it is *twice* as much work as either of those options. You sit there pumping for roughly the same amount of time you would have been nursing your baby...and then you sit there feeding your baby for the same amount of time they would have been nursing. It's like doing twice as many feedings! (Unless you get your husband to feed the baby instead...but then again, it's still twice as much work - just you might be able to get some help with it.)

I am sure you have gotten tons of advice on this...but please reconsider your own feelings about your body and breasts and babies. You sound rather disgusted with the fact that you're a woman. God gave you a beautiful body...and breasts that make *milk*...for a REASON. If you think about it, it's rather "science fiction like" that you'd prefer to have a machine suck the milk out of your breasts, store it in plastic containers and bottles...than just do what women for *millions* of years have done with their babies - just breastfeed them directly.

Good luck.

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B.E.

answers from Boise on

Pumping and breastfeeding would be inconvenient, but I think it's definitely worth looking into in your situation. My sister pumps exclusively because her baby has been in the hospital since he was born because of a heart defect. The doctors encouraged her to pump so that he could have the benefits of her milk even though he "eats" it through a tube. It was hard at first because she had to wake up in the night to pump, but now she just pumps before bed and right when she gets up and that works for her (her baby is two months now). Bottom line, it would be a pain, but definitely doable and worth a shot, even if you are only able to keep it up for a few months. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

your body will not keep up with it for too long, the machine will be painful because the machine will never 'learn to suck softer and more passively', like a baby will. Its the connection of the mouth to the nipples that keeps up with the demand of breast feeding. I know this , because i have done it both ways. When i was 21 i had my first baby and really really wanted to breastfeed, but being ignorant of my options and tired, hormonal, and my baby had blood incompatibility jaundice that kept her from staying awake, so i decided to pump it and give it to her. This was impossible for the few days because the thick colustrum that comes out at first is just...well, un pumpable. I slipped into a depression that revolved around the disentigration of my dreams of breasfeeding. until my milk came in, i pumped it and again became happy, only to have them dashed again when the supply diminished a month later.

not sure why it never occured to me to try to feed her again, i spent the next 4 months supplementing my weak supply with formula, until one day it ran dry. The next baby 6 years later, i trudged on through bleeding and mastisis and never once gave her formula, i deem it the hardest thing ive ever done, but the best also, and i still breastfeed she is 19 months

I never see women who are breastfeeding in public, not attempt to conceal it at least a little bit, id be surprised to see a bare boob actually, but not phased.....babys hungry, id rather them do it right there then hide out in a dirty bathroom stall.

im going to spare you the lecture about breastmilk,( even though its tempting with autism and childhood obisity running rampant) im merely going to inquire why you dont do"bottle in public, breast at home"

this way your supply will last longer and you will get the benifit of the intense bonding that comes with it.

If you want support, ill give you my number, ill talk to you more than i do my own grandma, i want to be a consultant and you could be helping me too.

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S.H.

answers from Florence on

Here is a book that helps women who need or choose to exclusively pump their breast milk. Herein, you will find all the information that you need. It is not a long drawn out discussion of biased advice, it's the information that you are looking for to exclusively pump. http://www.amazon.com/Exclusively-Pumping-Breast-Milk-Pro...

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A.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Didn't read all the responses so my apologies if I'm repeating advise! I breastfed my first exclusively and I'm breastfeeding my second with some bottles (breast milk and formula) when I have to be away from him. With my first I did pump and try to bottle feed him in public but he never took a bottle and pumping was always a little painful.

Anyway, I have the Ameda pump and love it but it wasn't until after my second was born and I met with the hospital's lactation consultant and she recommended a larger flange size (the part that goes up against the breast and nipple) - what a HUGE difference this made for comfort. So I recommend that after you deliver, have the lactation consultant give you some advice for what size you need. Also, my second was in the NICU for a while and although I was able to bf the whole time, the lactation consultant gave me a chart for how many times a day to pump so maybe your hospital will be able to give you something like that as well.

As for nursing in public, I have a cover called the Bebe aulait - it's like an apron with a wire on top that creates a nice opening so you can see baby but no one else can. They now offer these covers (or very similar ones) at Target. This provides for complete privacy and comfort - when I started with my first I was very uncomfortable and didn't go out much and if I did I would feed him in changing rooms or even bathrooms! But once I got the cover I was much more comfortable and they come in such stylish prints that people usually don't even give you a second look because they think its part of your outfit or something!

While being able to bottle feed my youngest is nice - especially when I'm not with him - I have to say that it is very convenient to bf - especially at night when I can just nurse him and lay him back down - no mixing or measuring or warming of milk required. If you plan on pumping exclusively, you'll most likely have to pump just as often as feed and it might be nice to just nurse the baby - at least while you are at home - to keep your supply up and to not have to hassle with cleaning the equipment!

Hope this helps and best of luck to you and your baby and don't worry about support - you've got us Mamas!

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V.H.

answers from Seattle on

For me pumping was not that hard. I feel like I could have gotten enough milk to feed my son from just pumping, but I had a really easy time with the whole process...breastfeeding and pumping. For me the thing I liked about pumping was that I could see how much he was eating, and he was able to drink the milk a lot faster. Pumping and preparing the bottles was somewhat time consuming, but not impossible. In the end I was lazy, and found that just nursing him was an easier option for me, especially at night. Getting up to pump was so hard because I had to get up, get the pump set up, and remain sitting until I was done, but if I nursed him I could stay lying down and get some rest if not sleep. I have definitely heard of women who have successfully given their babies pumped milk exclusively. It's a lot of work, but in my opinion it's worth it. For me pumping was not painful, just kind of tedious.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

When my son was a newborn (3 weeks old) we were in a horrible car accident and he spent almost 2 months in the NICU. I was a breastfeeding mom and produced TONS of milk...enough to feed a small village. Seriously, before the accident I could feed him exclusively on one side and then pump 7 out of the other side...and do that every 2-3 hours. Oooops, okay, the point! While he was in NICU he was not eating at all, of course. He was on life support! So, I decided to pump the whole time he was in there. I pumped day and night approx every 4ish hours. By the time we left the hospital (2 months) I had to supplement with formula. This from a woman who produced a ton! I did continue to breastfeed and bottle feed until he was about 15 months and then went straight to bottle. I know a lot of women would have given up, but it was very important to me that he get the nutrients of breastmilk.
So, walk you through exclusive pumping. I think it is a big ol' pain in the butt. But, if it's something that you are truly willing to do, then it is possible! I personally didn't have any pain doing it, but every woman is different. It takes a lot of commitment, realizing you have to do it around the clock, just like normal breastfeeding, or else your supply goes down. Same thing as breastfeeding, you need to drink plenty of water, get plenty of rest (which is crazy with three! I am prego with my third as well)..
You could always try and breastfeed just at night so you are not feeding in front of anyone...it may be easier then pumping.
L.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

The first 2 weeks of breastfeeding is hard, but after that, it's soooo much easier than bottles! No matter where you go, you have some food for your hungry baby.
I hate it when people breastfeed in public, too. If you look around, you'll find that there are many options for private places to feed your baby. Sometimes, we sit in our car with the sunshade up and a blanket over my shoulder. Sometimes I sit in the back seat of our minivan. There are mothers/nursing rooms in most malls that I've looked for them in, or sometimes public bathrooms have a couch or sitting area in them. In a store, I've also gone to dressing rooms, sometimes grabbing an item of clothing so I can pretend to be trying it on, sometimes just asking for a room to feed the baby. I've never been turned away or even gotten a funny look.

While I have not done the pump thing much, it seems to me like you'll also have to find places to pump, and that will probably be harder/more awkward to do. I think the flexibility of being able to nurse or pump depending on the situation would be ideal for you.

I have breastfed 3 kids now, I I'm still uncomfortable nursing in lots of situations. I've also enjoyed the freedom of letting someone else feed the baby, or now that he's 7 months, he can hold his own bottle and feed himself. it's great. But it's so much easier when we're out and about to pop into someplace quiet and private and nurse him, than to bother with packing bottles and formula and looking for a source of hot water!

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

It's a lot of work, but very well worth it. Give it a try, you can always change your mind later!

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter was born premature and was tube fed for a long time. Incubated in the hospital for over a month. I pumped the whole time but my milk never really came in. I got a little colostrum out in the beginning and a couple of ounces a day for a little while but then it just slowly dried up. If your milk flows with little issue I don't think you're going to have a problem pumping and stocking your supply. From everything I read, there's nothing like the appetite of your child to really keep your milk flowing so I'd pump when you know you're going to be out and about but take the mornings, evenings and late night feedings right to the breast.

I would have breastfed if I could and I tried my best but it just didn't work out. I got hounded and criticized for not "trying harder" by the boob Nazi's (la leche league ladies) and I was just crushed. I paid $50 a month to rent a hospital grade breast pump when I was trying. I feel like I missed out on some important part of motherhood but the birth could have turned out much worse so I'll just thank my lucky stars for my daughter who is a sweet, happy little girl and let go of what never was.

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J.L.

answers from Pueblo on

I tried pumping the first time. I had twins and well round the clock breastfeeding times two was hard. Pumping on top of it was 10 times harder. So I nursed and formula fed for the first 4 months then went to just formula.

Wow I dont see how a mother feeding her child in public is offensive. No more than anyone else eating in public. Breasts are for feeding babies. Cows do it and do not cover their calves heads with a blanket. I was never ashamed to feed my child in a natural way and told many cover your head in public if you find it offensive. Its not like by boob is hang out all over the place but I am not going to cover my baby's head and not be able to see that he/she is ok while eating. I dont see it as exposing my breast I am feeding my child end of story.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

A.-

There are several posters who have said that you can't pump exclusively and I am here to say they are wrong. I know, because I exclusively pumped for the entire 1st year of my daughter's life. I tried to nurse her (like I did my son) but she was never able to catch on and was losing weight so rapidly that I decided to pump and give her bottles.
Honestly, the first 1-2 months are the worst because you are pulling "double duty." You have to feed the baby every 2-3 hours and then you have to pump. If someone can help you get through this period, it is definitely do-able. After that, the baby gets quick at eating and can go longer between feedings so it doesn't seem like you spend all your time feeding/pumping.
The biggest thing is that every time the baby eats, you need to pump in order to establish your milk supply. You will also need to get or rent a good pump- Medela Pump In Style works great! You will have to go a lot of washing but you can get the bags to clean the pump parts in the microwave or wash them in the dishwasher. You can buy hands-free pumping bands that are supposed to allow you to feed the baby while you pump. I could never get the hang of that, but other people swear by them, so maybe it will work for you.

Bottom line- is pumping as easy as breastfeeding? No, but it's not impossible either. If it is something you want to do, you can definitely make it work. Best wishes!

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A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Well I breast fed both my babies and I am so for it but like you said I won't go into all the benefits.....I'll just give you facts and my opinion on the matter. So with both babies when I started breast feeding it hurt A LOT! Like for a month. I had sore, cracked, bleeding nipples. But for me I loved the bonding so much that I pushed through that and then after the first month it was easy with no pain. I did try to pump a little with my first but it was a pain in the butt. I just felt like it was hard to find time to sit down and pump at all hours of the day. Also if you only pump and never actually breast feed after a few months your milk will decrease. Even with all the pumping it just doesn't stimulate the breast and milk production the same way as when your baby actually nurses. As for nursing in public....with my first I had a really hard time doing it and only did it a couple of times but with my second I was way more comfortable with it all and I nursed her everywhere and anywhere. But I always, always covered up. I had one of those nursing blankets with the strap around the neck so your hands can be free while keeping your front totally covered. It is actually called a hooter hider LOL. But there are tons of pros to breast feeding. You never need to wash bottles or buy formula, the milk is always right there and ready with no heating up. At night it's so nice cause when your baby wakes you can just bring them to bed with you and fall back asleep while they are eating. It totally helps me to shed all my baby weight super fast. Also I know lots of moms that do both, breast feeding and formula. Like you they are uncomfortable with nursing in public to they nurse their baby at home and at night but in public they feed them a bottle of formula. If you do both from the day they are born they usually get used to both and will switch back and forth. So that is another thought too. I know this is a very personal subject but if you are playing around with the idea of breast feeding I say at least give it a try for a couple weeks and if you don't like it you can always go back to formula no harm done. :)

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

Two and a half years ago, while pregnant with my first son, I could have written those same words. Is pumping a PITA? Yep. Is having a kids in general a giant PITA? Yep. In both cases however, we do what is best for them, and us, and BFing is both. If pumping is the only way for you to get your child some breast milk I would beg you to do it. Also keep in mind that there are plenty of moms who BF their babies and never do it in public so the fear of nursing in public should never stop you from BFing. Not that there is anything wrong with a baby eating in public. I see more skin walking by Abercrombie or Victoria's Secret but we wont go down the road of the sexism that has us misinformed about why we have breasts to begin with.

Like you, I could not have been more grossed out by BFing. With the help of some amazing moms though I agreed to give it a shot and found it to be amazingly NOT gross. How did this happen? It was repulsive to me my whole life but all I can say is that once you start feeding that way any other option just seems crazy.

Formula is expensive, an environmental nightmare AND it isn't the best way to nourish your baby (the jury isn't out on that one). If none of those reasons work for you just think of yourself. Is mixing bottles a joy? Endless washing, cleaning etc? Especially with two other kiddos just get up in the middle of the night, pop your boob in the kid's mouth and be done with it. Give yourself a break.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

Before I had my kids I was just like you... I didn't think I would breastfeed and I was ok with that. Just thought bottle was the way to go...
But I did decide to give it a go and was shocked how much I loved it! It is a bit painful in the beginning, but I got over that within a week or so.
I didn't feed out in public very often at all but when I had to I had a coverup that was all around. You would know what I was doing, but couldn't see anything at all. To me people can't take offense to that...
I even used the coverup in the house when people would stop by for visits. I just used it when ever I thought someone would be around that would feel uncomfortable.
I will say however I did also do one formula bottle a day. While I loved breastfeeding, when we were out and about it just was easier to give the baby a bottle so we could get things done. My little ones got all the good stuff from me, but also could take the taste of formula and nipple with ease. I had the best of both worlds.

As for pumping! UGH I hated it! I did it with the first because I thought I had to, but ended up throwing away so much frozen milk. So with the second I never saved any of it and only pumpled to keep my milk up at night when she started sleeping through the night. I always just dumped it. I was just over sterilizing everything each night and being so careful. Once I started dumping it I would still clean my pump, but I never had to get it THAT clean to make sure baby could drink it. I just poured it out. Pumping is the worst part of breastfeeding. But I imagine you dont' have to do it at all if you don't want to. But for me I had to to keep my milk up a bit.
I honeslty think you will hate the long process of pumping so much and give it up after awhile. But that isn't so bad... at least your little one will get some good stuff from you for awhile.

I would say since you seem open to the idea give it a go... get with a lactation consultant at the hospital and go follow up with them. They help SO much! They can even come to your home. I don't think I could have made it without her! She just gives you so much advice and help! With the second I didn't need help, but that was becasue I finally knew what I was doing :)

Good luck and at least explore it a bit...

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Cons: It doesn't work as well as breastfeeding because you do not have a baby giving your body signals on how much to produce (i.e. growth spurts). I felt like my transitioning from exclusive breastfeeding to pumping (at work) was the start of the end for my supply.

Pros: You are willing to work twice as hard as you need to to do something awesome for your baby. Go mom! But get a hospital grade double pumper...Spare no expanse.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I've breastfed all three of my kids. My son the longest now, he is 17 months old. I'm not comfortable with breastfeeding in public. I say give breastfeeding a try though. It is easier than pumping, and, I don't think it would be hard for you to learn if you have a history of producing so much milk. As for the "support system" I just spouted out the research to those who didn't support me. My son now only nurses in the morning and at bedtime, so, I don't have to worry about "public nursing" now. But, when that was all he had, I just scheduled my outings around his every 3 - 4 hour nursing schedule. Most of the places we went had somewhere I could go, to where I didn't have to "publicly" nurse. Heck, even Wal-Mart has a "customer service" area in the back with benches, that is always practically empty. I got a great nursing cover, and, it looked just like I was rocking a baby. As he got too big for a cover, I could offer him snacks to hold him over until he could nurse. I've nursed in my car many times. And, I've used "nursing rooms" at stores or malls.
That said, pumping is important too. It is not that bad once you learn how. The learning curve is easy. But, honestly, after doing it with 3 kids, it is easier to actually BF than pump. I was totally anti-breastfeeding before my first daughter was born, but, nature told me I needed to try it and I did. It is funny how quickly you can become a "breastfeeding crazy" once you realize how easy it is. It really makes you wonder why so many women don't at least TRY what nature intended us to do! ;) (I'm not saying that to put anyone down. I'm simply saying this from my own, personal experience. I know it is not easy for everyone, but, for me, I felt like a dummy that I didn't even want to try before my daughter was born!)
***I have to add also. There is something SO special about the baby nursing almost as soon as he/she is born. Watching them and seeing how natural it is, you know you are making the right decision. I wish I had given my first born that in retrospect. Instead I waited until she was a day older before trying nursing.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think you are crazy at all, i didn't feel comfortable brestfeeding in pubIic, but I do think you would get burned out of exclusively pumping all day long. I breastfeed my daughter and yes, it was really hard at the beginning but after a few weeks it was fine. You can get help from local breastfeeding support places, doula or a midwife or your OB. I did pump for times when I was going to be out, and I pumped at work sometimes (part time schedule) but at home I exclusively nursed her. Since the hard part really only lasts a few weeks, it really is a lot easier to nurse, saves a lot of time pumping, and washing bottles, and in the middle of the night you don't have to go in to the kitchen!

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

I nursed my son for 16 months and managed to never feed him anywhere more public than the backseat of our SUV. The public thing also made me very uncomfortable and my family was not supportive at all. Since my son ate on the same schedule everyday, we planned our outings specifically around feeding times. It restricted what I could do and when, but that was better for me than feeding in public. I know it is no big deal for some women, but I'm very private. When I did pump, it was never painful. I can't imagine pumping exclusively just because it took me a long time and I'm lazy! It was so much easier just to nurse, no pump parts to clean, etc. I do have to say that with no family background or support (just like you), learning to breastfeed was difficult for me. Thankfully, I found two wonderful lactation consultants at the hospital where I delivered and joined a breastfeeding support group immediately. For me, it was worth the frustration and pain of learning and the lack of independence. If I'm blessed with another, I'll do it again.

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I bf both my kids...I did the pumping thing with my first...so daddy could feed, yadda yadda etc etc...it was a pain in the sense that you are always trying finding time to do it...cleaning and sterilizing the equipment. It was never painful in causing physical pain. So much easier to just let him eat straight from the breast...when we were out as long as i had a nursing cover, you couldn't really see anything and so he just ate under there...sometimes I would go to the car or find a more private place (mostly it embarrassed my husband that I was doing THAT in public).

With my daughter I was so comfortable I would just stick her on there any old place...with a nursing cover...she would never even take a bottle...which was a pain because i couldn't leave her with anyone, until she was about 6 months old.

I too was very uncomfortable with breastfeeding and thought I would only do it one day at a time...and of there was physical pain much less cracked or bleeding anything I was going straight to formula. No problem my son had a good latch and I had a good supply and away we went. I never thought I would end up bf one child much less two.

Whatever you decide is totally fine as long as you feed the baby it is all good!! HUGS!!

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R.W.

answers from Denver on

Congrats on your upcoming addition to your family! I breastfed both my babies until they were 1 year old. My decisions were mostly financial b/c it was free vs. a lot of money on formula. My first was about a month long process of her and I learning how to do it. I was so close to quitting a couple times and was very glad I stuck it out. I was a very modest breastfeeder and always had a cover for public. I think every mom has to make a choice of what works for them. I hate to hear people feeling pressure to do one or the other. You need to do what is best for your family. I found pumping to be extremely time consuming and a huge pain. Some people also have a harder time keeping up their supply if they only pump. By the time you pump and then clean the parts, it is practically time for the next pumping. With 3 kids, I can't imagine you having a lot of time for pumping. You could try nursing in private and then just always having bottles pumped for when you have to go into public. Best of luck with your third and whatever you decide to do will be what is best for your family. Don't let others pressure you into something you don't feel is right for you.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I nursed both my kids and definately didn't love it. Honestly, I thought it was kind of a pain, often literally. I have huge breasts and had enough milk for twins, easily. I could pump a lot of milk in a very short amount of time, so pumping wasn't a big deal, but, especially at the beginning, it does mean that feeding takes twice as long (one "feeding" to pump and one "feeding" to feed).

This was my thinking: even though I didn't love nursing, I also didn't really like being pregnant, and that was totally "worth it." So I tried to think of it as expanding my pregnancy to do what was best for my kids. I don't know if that's super encouraging, but I do encourage you to try it at least. Maybe you'll surprise yourself and it's really easy! Or maybe you'll quit. But you won't know unless you try. Good luck.

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K.E.

answers from Denver on

I didn't read all the relies so I hope this isn't too redundant. I dont think you are crazy because I understand how some families look at the body.I had a baby who had a poor sucking reflex and so it was easier for her to take a bottle. I pumped for two months and it was exhausting. It takes tons of time and by the time I would finish feeding her ( it took forever to feed her) then pump for the next feeding I would have little to no time to sleep before I had to start over again. I hated it. My life revolved around this. It didn't hurt but I felt like a cow at the pump. When I finally had to get on medication I was so relieved when I went to formula. And my child was healthier than all my friends who had breast feed babies in spite of how we went everywhere her first year. That being said I came from a family that never breast feed. My mom even had enough nerve to tell me how discussing it was and that she wouldn't want to be around me. So I had no support but I wish I knew then about all the help that was out there through groups, so don't let your families decision influence yours. As for feeding please keep in mind that not every women has to leave the house and feed or that you are exposed, I've had tons of friends that would just have big shirts and/or blankets and you never see a thing. Good luck we your next little one.

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S.K.

answers from Denver on

I breastfed my three girls, and pumping was much harder than letting them simply breastfeed. Sometimes it was painful, not always, but in general my milk production was off when I wasn't nursing them naturally. If I tried pumping all the time rather than nursing, my milk would have continually decreased and I would have to have stopped.

If you are uncomfortable nursing in public, you could always use a shield -- I've seen moms using them and they work really well. They are like light blankets that are fastened around your neck, so you are completely covered while nursing. I think if you try it, you may be surprised at how much support for breastfeeding comes your way.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

spend the money for a quality pump. cheap ones can be painful. don't even bother with a manual one. you'll be exhausted anyway so you don't need any extra work. plus they take longer and you have two other kids to juggle. you can find good pumps on ebay and craigslist if you're not sure you want to invest a lot into this. or you can buy brand new and sell it when you are finished. i was less comfortable with my boys seeing me use a pump than with them seeing me breastfeed. so it was hard for me to arrange a way to pump without them banging on the door. if i started to feel crowded or uncomfortable while breastfeeding i could just throw on a light blanket or nursing cover and ask them to play at a distance.

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J.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

In my experience (manual) pumping is more time consuming - maybe marginally more painful till you get the hang of it - than nursing.

One thing to add to previous posts- I'm pregnant with number 5 and found out that our insurance (regence) now considers electric pumps to be a medical devise and will cover 90% of the purchase cost of a specific model. I've never used an electric pump- they've always been cost prohibitive- but it may be worth checking with your insurance company to find out if it is available to you, as it will probably make your life much easier if you choose to pump 100%

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M.K.

answers from Provo on

As I am sure that you have heard Breastfeeding can be quite painful at first. After a couple of weeks though-no problem. But there will be some wincing at first. I think pumping is less painful than nursing (although after a few weeks it makes no difference to me). make sure you have a GOOD pump, a double electric pump. They are expensive but look around online for a good deal. so worth the money. i love, avsolutely love, my avent isis iq duo. i did A LOT of research before buying it and am so glad that I did. Rather than some pre programmed speeds it adjusts to whatever pattern you set, wjich is very helpful especially if you are sore. I have a fast let down so I can pump 4-8 oz, (depending) in like 5-10 minutes. no biggy.
You could also try renting a pump from the hospital for a while to see if you like it and can handle it and stuff.
SOME BENEFITS
I will tell you hat on roadtrips pumping is so much better than formula. you can pump it and give it to them fresh without having to worry about warm water or bottle warmers.
its way WAY cheaper than formula (especially if your kids have any sensitivies). your body makes whatever yoyr baby needs, so no worries there either.
it really does help with babies nt getting sick too because if you get something they get the antibodies you make and either don't get it or not as bad.
good luck

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

With my first son I breastfed and pumped because I worked. I think one of the most difficult parts of pumping is the cleaning of the parts of the machine and making sure your milk is properly stored. But I probably think this because in contrast, nursing can be so easy. Put the baby on the breast and done. The other negative would be the 'double' time. You still need to feed the baby and then you need to pump. The good thing about pumping and nursing is that you should be making plenty of milk.

With my second, I was a stay at home mom and I nursed exclusively. When I had to breastfeed in public, I used a cape specifically made for making breastfeeding private. (They sell them everywhere including Target.) I also wore clothing made for breastfeeding so that it was easy to just pull down or lift up the part of the shirt needed. I know for a fact that noone ever saw any indecent part of me. (My husband would have definitely said something). I remember being so amused with my baby because we went over to a friend's house and her baby's bottle was on the floor. My baby picked it up and clearly did not know what it was for. His look of wonder was comical.

I am currently nursing my third baby. She is ten months old so we are at a point where my milk supply is well established and she is also taking solids. So this time I also use formula when I need to which can mean when I go out, mixing it with cereal or when my husband feeds her. I am at peace with this decision because though I am still breastfeeding, I am making my life work with three children. She had jaundice when she was born so the doctors told me to use formula because it help with getting rid of jaundice.

Good luck.... if you are using a breast pump right, it shouldn't hurt. Make sure you invest in a good one. The Pump In Style worked well for me. Talk to a lactation consultant in the hospital when the baby is born. They can teach you to use the breast pump the right way.

In the end you will find what works for you. As you can see, for me, that meant something different each time.

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M.S.

answers from Provo on

I just typed a long answer to you, and it somehow all got erased! So, here is my short answer.
I pumped exclusively with my first two babies and loved it! I know it's not for everyone, but I loved the convenience and only had to pump every 4 to 6 hours. I never had to supplement with formula. Like nursing, my body kept up with how much my babies needed.
I definitely recommend a good pump, though. I had the Medela backpack style double pump. So I could just take the little black backpack where ever I went. I think I paid like $125 for it, but it is a must to have a convent fast pump if you are going to be consistent. It seems like I made sure I was able to pump about 1 ounce for every hour I went without pumping.
I decided to nurse my third baby just to try it, and loved that as well. There are obviously Pro's and Con's to both, but definitely worth trying so your little babes can get Mommy's milk.

Good Luck!!!

Mommy of three :)

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well I am no breast nazi or anything, but I think if you get milk in, it is a great benefit to your kiddos. I am also thankful for formula bc it helps moms all over the world who don't get milk, have to work full time etc. Having said that, for me pumping is a pain. I am currently bf my second and this time I NEVER pump, it is so liberating!!! With my first I bf exclusively until about 9mo and I pumped for anytime we would go out somewhere. The way I did it was to get up a few hrs before him, like 5am and pump and pop it in the fridge. I would also pump on those rare occasions that he would only eat on one side. I am a very blessed woman and make enough milk to supply the whole block, so I always expressed a lot. BUT it gets old. I would never want to do it for every feeding, personally. But once you get rollin' it only takes like 10 min to pump. If you are out somewhere eating you can just ask the restaurant to bring you a cup of hot water to heat it up. But you do get weighted down bc you have to carry it with ice blocks to preserve it. I did get so saavy my first time that I would just stick a bottle in a quart ziploc baggie with a blue ice and pop that in my diaper bag and go, worked like a charm! Now when my first was about 9mo I started just taking formula when we were out and he did great with that, and of course by then he was only bf about 3 times per day. So it wasn't even needed often. But I asked moms on this board about doing it sooner and they all said it was no prob to bf at home and formula feed out from the beginning. Now I just feed wherever I am with a cover bc for me it is so much easier and hey my kid has to eat and I have a three year old to boot! Plus my second is having none of any bottle, go figure! So I think you can pump all the time and feed, but it sounds like torture to me!!! But I am a minimalist, I carry one bag for me and my two sons, it it can't fit in that small bag, it doesn't come! I prefer to tightly roll up a nursing cover, in the bottom of my bag vs hauling bottles etc around. Good luck whatever you decide and just know we mamas that bf publicly really don't want to make anybody uncomfortable it is just how we are gettin' through the day;) Take care girl!!

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

I couldn't breastfeed my girls. Neither would latch on. So, I pumped. My supply wasn't the best bc of a surgery, but I still persisted. To be frank and honest with you, I would not have minded the pumping at all had my supply been sufficient. You will want to make sure you purchase a quality double pump. The medela pump instyle is a fabulous pump. There are many accessories you can buy to make it easier also- such a chest band that would allow you to pump hands-free. I wish I had been able to pump longer for my girls, but 5 months of it was all I could do because my supply never changed and I had to supplement with formula.

Let your nurses know you choice and talk to a lactation consultant while you're in the hospital. Mine told me for the first day, especially, you'll want to do short pumps (10 minutes) every 1/2 hour to get the milk to come in, and most importantly to get the colostrum. Your hospital should have a pump you can use after birth for this, and nurses who can help you learn to use the machines.

The only time I experienced soreness was when I was using the machine on too high of a setting hoping to force my breasts to make more milk. I would just talk to a lactation specialist to get the low-down on optimizing your pumping efforts.

If you have any questions on breast feeding- you can go to www.llli.org (lalecheleagueinternational.org)

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S.H.

answers from Provo on

Just my two cents. Like you, I bottle fed my son exclusively, due to medical issues. I just don't understand the whole "you will bond better" excuse to breastfeeding. You can bond just as well if you bottle feed. Just be sure to hold them while doing it. You get the opportunity to look them in the eyes while feeding and can hold them just as close to you. My son is so bonded to me that he still loves to snuggle to sleep! So, if you do change your mind again, it is okay!

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K.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

A., breast feeding is not for everyone. However aside from the benefits to the baby there is also the bonding time for you and your little one. When you into the hospital they can help you with positioning and latching if that is what you choose to try. I breastfed fed all 3 of my children but I like you do noy feel comfortable just whipping it out in public so if we were somewhere that wasn't convienient to nurse then I gave them a bottle and they did fine with both. Anyway if you choose not to nurse you will want to get a very good quality pump and you will have to pump about every 2 hours to keep up your milk supply. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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S.A.

answers from St. Louis on

I was very uncomfortable nursing in public with my first, cover or not, so I can identify with your feeling. I also get offended with a mom whips out her boob in front of all with no cover. You are not alone! Yuck. With my second, I bought a "hooter hider". Yep that's what it's called. It is like a bedspread!

However, the pumping can really work and it isn't painful once your milk is in. It takes about 2 weeks or so; sometimes shorter for your milk supply to "come in". Until then, do you feel comfortable to nurse your baby just at home? You could pump all along (I mean for those first two weeks), and then switch only to pumping. Your body will get used to whatever you teach it to.

Practical advice: Lots of Lanolin! Keep your nipples moist with it while/after your pump or nurse. It helps with comfort.

Kudos for the selfless decision!!! You can do it!! Im interested in what you decide. Good luck.

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J.P.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.--
I breastfed both my boys. On the few occasions that I had to pump (I'm a SAHM, so it was rare) I hated every second of it. I felt like a cow getting milked. It is uncomfortable and takes way longer to pump than it does to simply feed the baby (7 minutes vs 20 minutes--so you are looking at at least 20 minutes of pumping per feeding, plus actually feeding the baby). Pumping also does not empty the breast nearly as well as the baby does, so your milk supply will suffer over time and you may not be able to keep up with baby's demand.
As for actual breast feeding, I could go on and on about the advantages of it. It's easy--no cleaning bottles, no heating formula, no getting up in the middle of the night to make a bottle, you always have food ready whenever baby needs it. With the time demand of having two older kids I could see that as being helpful. If you have a lactation consultant help you from the very beginning you will get the hang of it in no time, so the "stress" of learning could be kept to a minimum. No one in my family breast fed either, so I understand you weren't exposed to it--it becomes second nature when you do it. I feel like it's the best thing I ever did. The other benefits of breast feeding include your uterus shrinking down to size much easier, losing baby weight easily, and my favorite, the release of oxytocin (dubbed the "love" hormone) every time you breast feed. It relaxes you, calms you down, and makes you feel warm and fuzzy towards your baby (not that you wouldn't feel warm and fuzzy without breast feeding). It also helps with the hormonal roller coaster that comes from being post-natal. It creates a bond between you and baby that simply isn't possible with bottle feeding. Knowing you are capable of providing everything your baby needs is an amazing feeling. It's also great knowing all the health benefits for both you and baby. With two older children the baby will be exposed to a lot more sickness, and breastfeeding will keep baby healthy--nothing worse than a stuffed up nose on a baby who can't blow!
So, all summed up, pumping is a pain in the you know what and would be extra stress. Breast feeding is easier and has more benefits. The modesty issue will pass. And if you do decide to breast feed, get a Bebe Au Lait (also known as a hooter hider)--it makes it easy to cover yourself and still see baby to nurse.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
J.

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H.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I had a friend who exclusively pumped for 6 months. Was it a little bit of a hassle? Yes. Was it worth it to her? Yes.

My daughter was a preemie and spent some time in the NICU. It took her 9 weeks to really learn how to nurse. During that time, when she was learning, I pumped religiously. I never had a problem with milk supply, so just because you don't put your baby to breast doesn't mean you won't able to produce enough milk or build up your supply. You do have to be religious about pumping, though, and make sure not to miss any sessions.

I was so happy when she finally learned to nurse! What a time saver! And I hated washing all the pump parts and bottle parts all the time. But that's just me. I breastfed when I could, and went back to pumping during the day when I went back to work. She was always a bottle and breast baby - she could eat from either.

I TOTALLY practiced breastfeeding with a nursing cover at home. I use the Bebe Au Lait/Hooter Hider that others have mentioned. The practicing helped me to feel more comfortable nursing out in public, without feeling like I was exposing myself to everyone.

If you go with the pumping, get a very good electric double pump. Otherwise, pumping will take twice as long. If I had the money, I would have gotten the Medela Freestyle - you're free to walk around while pumping. How nice that would have been!

Also get a hands-free pumping bra. I didn't want to have to sit there holding the pumps in place.

An alternative to the Lansinoh nipple cream is one made by Mother Love. I liked that one better as it didn't seem as sticky.

Best of luck!

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

With my first child I pumped exclusively for four months. In the beginning, yes I did have to supplement with a little bit of formula but after about a week or so I basically turned into a milk-making factory. Sometimes it was painful, but you'll get to 'know' your pump and what speed/suction works best. What worked for me:

-staying hydrated. More water does not necessarily mean more milk but remember that on the cellular level in your body so many chemical reactions require water. Making milk is not a 'necessary' chemical reaction like respiration, blood flow, exchange of nutrients, converting nutrients in the body to energy, etc. Make sure that you are hydrated so that your body can perform basic necessary tasks AND be able to make milk.

-get a good pump. I had a Medela pump in style and it worked well for me.

-pump frequently at the beginning, even if only colostrum or just a little dribble of milk is coming out. Remember that it is a 'supply and demand' process, so the more you pump the more you tell your brain that it needs to make more milk. Early on I pumped every 2 1/2 hours during the day and in the middle of the night I would pump after the baby woke and ate.

-at your pumping session, pump until no more milk comes out and then keep going for an additional 5-10 minutes. Again, even though no milk is coming out, the signal to make more milk is being sent to the brain.

-if you take a break in the middle of the night (once I really got going, I'd do my last pumping around 11:00 PM and then resume around 6:30 - 7:00 AM) bring extra bottles for the morning pump because you will fill them up and then some. I remember making 12-28 ounces total at my first morning pump.

I wound up stopping at 4 months because my son was colicky. So not only did I get badgered by the "oh my gosh you're not putting your son to the breast?!?! you evil woman!" crowd, I also had to deal with a constantly screaming baby and pumping 8 or more times a day. I fed him 'bottles' so according to the 'breastfeeding experts' I was lazy...Together my son and I got to a point where we needed to do something that made both son and mommy happy and I decided to slowly wean off the breastmilk and go to formula (due to all the pumping I was able to extend the breast milk another month). Surprisingly enough he is not a demon child nor has he grown a tail! Of course, he's not off curing cancer and hasn't memorized War and Peace like the other breastfed children have I'm sure...but he's normal, typical, healthy, and happy - and isn't that what we all want for our children?

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B.M.

answers from San Antonio on

There are alot of great responses for you here! I am a breastfeeding mom of a 23 month old. He has been exclusively breastfed since he was about 2 weeks. I had to supplement formula for a couple of days until my milk came in. I started pumping when he was about 5 weeks old to begin storing milk for when I returned to work. Pumping is a job and it is not a fun one. You can do it though! You just have to be dedicated. I was determined to exclusively bf until he was at least 6 months old and here we are at 23 months still going strong. I was a little uncomfortable with bf in public at first as well. I used a cover until I got the hang of just keeping my shirt right above his mouth when he nursed. He didn't like anything over his head either so using a cover was more hassle because he would try and pull it off. Nursing is natural and beautiful! It is sooooo much easier than pumping! You should try it before completely ruling it out. You can nurse at home and use expressed milk for when you are going out. It will all come together for you. You have to be confident about your decision. So whatever you chose will be the right decision:). Blessings and good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is almost 9 months old and I am still breastfeeding her, 4 months pregnant with a second baby. I started giving her supplement bottles of formula a month ago, and I still can accept this, I feel so bad about it... But I didn't have choice, my milk supply decreased a lot because of the pregnancy, and even thought I tried everything to increase it, it didn't come back... I still pump out about 8 oz a day, and the rest is formula.
In my opinion and experience, breastfeeding is a lot harder then giving formula, here is why: first, I wasn't pumping and she wouldn't take bottle until she was 8 months old, so nobody else could feed her but me. Then the first two months she was sucking the breasts for 5 hours!!! literally for 5 hours. It was not that I didn't have enough milk, but because was using me as a pacifier... (she didn't accept pacifier until she was 8 months). As feeding in the restaurants and public places, I also felt uncomfortable, but since she wasn't taking a bottle, if in the middle of the lunch she wanted to nurse, I had to take her into the car and feed her... was pretty hard. Also, I couldn't go anywhere for longer then 2 hours, coz she was nursing that often... Another thing, I had so much back pain because of the long hours holding her and nursing anywhere in any position (confortable or not for me...).
NOw the experience with the formula, soooo much easier, so much. BUT A., I am still for the breastfeeding! I was planning to nurse my daughter until she wean herself, but now with he second pregnancy the things changed. The other baby, I am planning to breastfeed too, for as long as he wants. Even though the breastfeeding is not easy, I would never chose formula if I could breastfeed, never. I would always chose what is the best for my babies, not what is the easiest for me.
All the best with your third baby, and my suggestion, try to breastfeed him, and you will see yourself that it is the best experience and the best way to bond with the baby, something unforgettable, believe me, I am still so sad coz my daughter don't nurse anymore (the pumping is not same...).

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R.T.

answers from Tallahassee on

I desperately wanted to breastfeed my first child, but we had ridiculous latching issues, so I resorted to pumping. As I'm sure you've heard, the pump cannot remove milk as efficiently as a baby, so I had to supplement with formula from the get-go. Even still, I pumped every 2-3 hours for FOUR MONTHS. It was the most stressful 4 months I could have ever imagined...and I didn't even do so returning to work...I did this AT HOME. My husband was very supportive, but it pained him to see me stuggle with the pumping. You asked about the nitty-gritty of pumping: Endless washing of pump parts (bottles, connectors, breast sheilds, etc), bottles, and nipples. You spend an inordinate amount of time dealing with feeding. I was captive to my post at the couch pumping for 20 minutes at a time, then having to feed the baby, then washing all the items, only to find myself having to start all over again within the next hour. I could not pump a large backstock--not enough to freeze--so I just cycled through labeled bottles in the refrigerator. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad I was able to give my daughter 4 months of mommy milk, but it was TOUGH. I wish I'd had the strength and ability to go longer, but I was worn out and also had to return to work. With my second child, we didn't have the same issues. Breastfeeding has been liberating. No worries about figuring out how many bottles to bring when we go somewhere. I've got everything I need on my chest. I, too, was a bit worried about how comfortable I'd be out in public. At first, I'd always find a cozy corner somewhere or using a dressing room, but that got old fast. I adapted to sitting out in the open with a nursing cover, but once my son was a couple months old, he quickly decided it was too bothersome. At this point (almost 7 months), I've been comfortable enough to just feed him as he needs pretty much wherever, and without a cover. I use nursing tank tops under my shirts, which allow me to nurse comfortably--I don't show my midsection (my own personal hang-up/issues on that), and my shirt that I pull up, covers his mouth/my boob while he eats. Sure, there's the split second when he's getting on that I'm exposed, but if someone is really trying to watch for it, then that's just sad. I've never been harrassed or bothered by anyone. So, as you can see, I started in one place and moved to another in my comfort. I say give nursing a try--you might also find yourself changing. :) If you decide to stick with pumping, then I admire your effort and determination, because, trust me, I know...it is no easy feat. I wish you the best of luck whatever you do!!!

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A.B.

answers from Denver on

Try it. You can always breastfeed in the privacy of your home or not. Rent a hospital grade pump and pump as much as you can. Being your first it will be more uncomfortable but, some don't have as much trouble as others. Do it as long as you are ok with it and stop if you decide to. Personally I loved breastfeeding. Pumping, not so much. I had trouble the first 2 months but, also all of the baby stuff was new to me. At least you are an experienced mom with every other aspect. I say, go for it!! Try it!! Then you will know you tried and again be content with your decision. Good luck and congratulations on baby number # 3

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R.C.

answers from Portland on

You have lots of answers and I don't have time to go through all of them! I'd like to commend you on your choice to go out of your comfort zone from what you've experienced in your life already. I hope this is something that you will feel good about doing! I think you won't regret it, especially if you have plenty of milk (I don't, I always have to work at it, and it makes it harder).

I find breastfeeding much easier, and it is relaxing; it really helps your body as a mother come back into balance (and stay that way). I'm one of those public feeders, and I either wear nursing wear, which covers the breast, or a cover. That said, I feel a little funny too when I see women feeding in public! But when it's me I couldn't care less!!!!! Anyway, if you have plenty of milk, it might be easy to do both. Just pump enough to bring out with you when you need it. Breastmilk is good for 8 days in the fridge, though the most beneficial if consumed w/in 3 days. Then you don't have much for maintenance.

For me, the problem would be that the pump doesn't get out as much as the baby does, and since my milk supply is marginal, I struggle. Also, it often takes a while (like a week!) for the breasts to respond to a pump, so don't give up if you only get a few drops out (again sounds like it won't be a problem for you).

Your local LLL should have tips on pumps. Some women find a hand pump works better, but I believe that for most women a high quality double pump works better, and also of course is faster, and you can pump while nursing.

best wishes!

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

My daughter couldn't attach correctly to me so I just pumped. I wanted to have bm for her and so I did it for almost 8 months! It is a lot of work but it doesn't hurt after the intial getting used to it. Just get into a groove. I had certain times each day I pumped and it was my time to read or whatever- a little stressful when I was home alone with her and she was awake but you figure it out. It is cost effective and the best thing for her so it worked for me. If you want to know the kind of schedule I did I would be happy to send it to you. I even did it working full time as a teacher- so you can make it work!

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L.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

A., I think it must be different for everyone. I had PLENTY of milk. It would leak out easily, but try as I might, I could never pump more than two ounces at a time. For some reason, my breasts did not want to be pumped. Also, my first two were girls and I nursed them, but when I was expecting a boy I was extremely anxious about a boy sucking on me and I was pretty sure I didn't want to nurse him at all, but then it all changed when he got here. If you do get to pump, I love those little bottle shaped ziploc-type baggies in the baby section. They freeze and stack nicely.

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H.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Simply, if you are going to pump and bottle-feed, it's just an extra step and more time. My sisters did not want to breastfeed but wanted their children to have breastmilk and so that's what they both did - pump and bottle feed. They both gave it up after about 3 months because it was so time consuming, however 3 months of breastmilk is awesome! I say go for it and be happy with your choice. Do it as long as you feel you want to and feel good about the breastmilk you are feeding your baby!

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C.K.

answers from Missoula on

I thought pumping hurt less than breastfeeding, but it can be a chore. Finding time with both hands free every three hours round the clock to hook up to the machine, keeping older children happy while pumping, keeping all the flanges and bottles washed, it kind of just made me realize how convenient formula is, so I guess you would have to be pretty committed to pull it off. And then once you pump, you still have to feed the baby. But breast milk is so good for babies, and free! Buy a very good pump and extra flanges, etc. (Medela Pump in Style was great for me).

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C.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

not painful at all. But you won't get much milk via pump for a few days/weeks... Sweety, there are wonderful apron-type covers that do wonders, and if you're in a intimate public place (like restaurant) you can just find a calm corner of the lobby, or even sit in the restroom stall if you think its THAT big of an offense to people..
The only reason people stick their noses up is because it is UNCOMMON...
A hundred years ago, more mothers went natural and that is just the way that MAMMALS are.. Whoever is bothered, well, that's THEIR problem. Not breastfeeders'

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

The women in my family didn't breastfeed, but I had friends that did so I was exposed to it and was looking forward to it. There are some cute cover-ups you can wear that are easy to put on for breastfeeding in public. It's actually a really lovely experience. If you want to do it with a minimum of stress, get a reerral to a lactation consultant - they can work WONDERS in making the experience positive. I had to use one because I got Shingles 3 days after giving birth and it totally screwed up breastfeeeding for me. She got me back on track and I did it till my son was 2.5 years old. You get so good at it that you can do it anywhere and keep it all hidden - with a cover or even a roomy shirt.

Pumping is ok, but annoying due to the cleaning and time factor. It's do-able though. If you can breastfeed and pump, that would be best - your chid is the MOST efficient suction you can get for your milk supply.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with, but give BFing a chance, especially with the support of a consultant. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Miami on

I have a 4 month old that I have been strictly breastfeeding, however I just finished pumping one side because my baby slept longer through the night and couldn't relieve me enough! I have a wonderful Almeda pump that I bought at a consignment store for a steal. After sanitizing it and reading the instructions it was wonderful. It has never been painful and in fact has relieved tender/aching engorgement on several occasions. I was so grateful to have the relief. There have been many times where a pumped bottle would have been much more convenient in public although rest assured I am definitely one that covers completely or slips away somewhere (I love breastfeeding in my car because of the privacy) than going through all the work of breastfeeding but he's never had a bottle so far. We are trying him on one with pumped milk so we can start our "date" nights again as a couple when we leave him with a trusted friend. If you are curious about breastfeeding talk to a lactation consultant before trying. Mine was EXTREMELY helpful and even helped diagnose my child with Torticolis because of the difficulty breastfeeding I had. She can guide you through any questions about pumping that come up. You want your experience as little or extended as it is to be as positive as possible. In my opinion, you will feel like you are giving your baby the best nutrition the world has to offer with your breast milk. Borrow a friends machine before committing to the cost if you are nervous. Again, it's never hurt me at all. Good for you for trying new things! Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I pumped for 8 weeks with my first son, and it is definitely a lot of work. He would not latch on. My second latched on and breastfeeding is going well. But I have to agree with you it is not easy to do out in public. I'm still getting used to that. I did find a really great nursing cover that covers my front and back so no one can see anything. It is like a poncho. It has really helped so far with my self-consciousness. Might not hurt checking out. I bought it off the internet, just search for modest momz. Hope that helps.

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K.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You have a LOT of answers here but I just wanted to add that I had a hospital pump with the larger size flanges(?) and it never caused me pain. It also helped me to learn that after FIFTY minutes of "nursing" my daughter was just using me as a pacifier! The pump taught me that the milk was gone in closer to 10 minutes!! It was helpful in the begining (to get the hang of it) to nurse one side and pump the other at the same time. When I was feeling like a cow or in too big of a hurry, it didn't work well. It's a little bit mental as well as physical.
I also never had much knowledge of bf before I did it myself and was NOT overly excited about it. I researched and prayed about it and thought I'd try VERY hard to make it work. Financially, it was a must for us - couldn't have afforded both disposable diapers and formula. (Baby ended up having alergies and it would've cost a fortune!)
I've seen the apron-type covers w/the wire and they work very well, but at the time, I just used the baby blanket and people just thought she was sleeping for the most part. One funny story about just slipping into a bathroom stall to nurse quick (definite pro!)- my daughter realized it echoed in there and kept letting go to call out to hear her voice echo and we would laugh together - but then I'd tell her we have to hurry - daddy's waiting! she'd start to nurse again then get this little smile and let go to call out again. Just something silly - but that's the bonding thing - and yes, you'll get that with the bottle too. =)
My daughter nursed until she was 10 and a half months old, she no longer has her food allergies, and I worked full time and still do. The pump was a big life saver for us - hubby and I could still go out on a date and know that her diet would not be compromised. It was also good for when baby started cutting teeth!
Best wishes on a good decision for you and your fam!
K

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D.R.

answers from New York on

if you do choose to bf, you will learn lots of ways to do it in public without being public, like dressing rooms (awesome) , which stores have really nice "lounge" areas outside the ladies room (nordstroms, bloomingdales), along with lots of baby stores that have nursing rooms. more and more places are getting them, its so nice.... stuff like that. maybe you could do both, bf at home and wherever you are comfortable, and pump for the rest. if you do pump, all or some of the time, my best advice is to get a great pump like the medela pump in style and try to keep to some sort of schedule. and get a hand pump like the advent isis, its a lifesaver when you are out and about, i used mine in cars, planes, trains, etc, its small and quiet... great in the shower if you get a clogged duct too.... though its a lot more obvious pumping in public than nursing, at least in the beginnning. you might just find it easier to nurse. give it a try, if you dont like it, stop. and if you really cant deal with the idea, then i think pumping for your baby shows amazing dedication on your part and you will be great at it :)

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S.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

For me, pumping didn't hurt. I guess I had the right pump and equipment, etc. It's just a lot of work. I pumped for my first baby and was glad I did. My second baby, I breastfed and I didn't have a problem with worrying about where to breastfeed. If I was in a public place, I just went into the bathroom, or my car. No on ever knew. But breastfeeding doesn't bother me. I don't mind that other people do it in public. That is how some babies have to eat. My second baby didn't ever take a bottle. So I had to feed him wherever and whenever. I covered up or went into a different room if I was out somewhere. And I don't want to offend anyone, but what I cannot understand is that we don't even flinch when a girl walks into McDonalds in a bikini with her boobs hanging out, yet everyone gasps in disgust if someone is breastfeeding...aka, feeding her baby. I just think we live in a very sad society. I'm not trying to tell anyone to make different choices, I just hope we all look at our perspectives of things. It's great that we have formula, and it's great that we have breastmilk. It keeps our babies alive and healthy. But I've seen a lot more boobs from women scantily dressed than I have from women breastfeeding.

Pumping was a lot of work, but I liked it in order to give my child breastmilk, but I also supplemented with formula at times, which didn't bother me because formula has been so improved and is just fine for babies. After a few months, I couldn't handle doing the pumping thing anymore and just switched to formula. I felt good that he had at least gotten some breastmilk. Even if I had just done the first few weeks of his life to give him all those live antibodies- I think that would be great.
Then when I breastfed my second baby exclusively, I loved it. It was so much easier. No preparation, no washing, no warming, etc. It was always there, and always ready. I couldn't believe how easy it was compared to bottle feeding. The first two weeks were hard because of the pain, but after that it was totally worth it.
It doesn't matter what you chose. There are a lot of options. You have to do what is comfortable for you. And like I said, even if baby gets the first few weeks of breastmilk, that's great too. I'm not sure that you could do a lot of pumping if you have two other kids. It took all my time to pump, feed, and wash all my equipment and get ready for the next round. :)

Congrats on new baby to be!

S.B.

answers from Birmingham on

I'm not gonna lie, pumping is a pain in the butt! It is much easier and quicker just to breastfeed. Maybe you can pump when you know your going to be out in public...I breastfed for 7 months and I was in the same situation as you and believe it or not, my family was VERY supportive of my decision. Maybe pump and have about 6-7 bags of breast milk so just in case you have to leave in a hurry, you'll have the supply right there. Hope it helps and congrats on your little one.

K.B.

answers from Savannah on

Pumping for me was very convenient and easy. I have a Lansinoh breast pump that I bought from Target... very nice but not too expensive.

The thing about choosing a breast pump is that you can't go too cheap, or else it won't work well.... but sometimes they can be really expensive. Make sure your breast pump has a good suction on it - if you notice you're not getting much milk, or that you're having to pump for EVER... consider that it might be the breast pump and not your milk supply.

When it comes to the basics - here's what you'll need:

the actual breast pump
Lansinoh nipple cream - it is a miracle ointment, even if you're just pumping! (yes, your nipples will get sore... but not nearly as bad as full-on nursing... its not too bad I promise.)
breast milk storage bags
breast pads

Thats about all I can think of right now. Good luck! I'm right there with you by the way.. nursing in front of others was always extremely uncomfortable for me.

Best of luck!!

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

I would highly recommend finding a local LLL to help you out and support you and answer all your question. plus take a class and you will learn more about it. you will never ever feel comfortable if you dont learn about it and gain support, it is okay to be uncomfortable but if you take a class and find a group you might change how you feel...or maybe not. when I started nursing I was the one and only i thought no one did it, and my family did not (still dont) support it. but i joined a group, took a class and then found so many diff. friends that do nurse. I also was not comfortable w/ nursing in public at all and hid for a while but once you get good at it no one can see what you are doing (really if you are doing it right) I have lots of people come up to me and want to see my sleeping baby LOL. One thing I will say is that I am not 100% sure about exclusively pumping but I really dont think that goes well for most. your baby gets to your milk much better than a pump, you will be doing double work if you just pump really bc you have to pump then feed and the cycle continues, pumping will also keep your supply a bit 'off' bc your body makes what you baby needs not what a pump needs: again I could be wroing and it might be great for you. please contact me if you need info/help finding a class...bc honestly it is difficult to do if you dont find support or education. xo xo xo good luck and congrats on the new baby to be!

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I started out nursing... then decided that it would be easier to pump exclusively. I have a madela pump in style that works really well... after a couple of weeks of exclusive pumping my nipples started getting sore... and it was getting pretty inconvenient. I was pumping every 3 hours-ish... if I tried pumping early, I wouldn't be able to get enough out... If I pumped late then my DD would go into freak-out mode while waiting for me to pump enough to feed her! Also, I would couldn't leave the house for more than 3 hours at a time or I would get painfully engorged...I found it was a LOT easier to do both... I still mostly pump, but I make sure to nurse at least 2-4 times a day (just to make sure she will still latch properly and doesn't get "lazy" from bottle nipples. lol). It helps me with soreness, and it's a LOT easier to go out... If she happens to drink all her bottles and is still hungry, or we decide to visit a friend after shopping, it's a relief to know that she can still nurse.

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D.R.

answers from Denver on

It doesn't hurt at all and it's easier than actually bf-ing in my opinion; however, washing the pump dishes got to be a pain in the butt after a while. The other drawback is that with baby #2, pumping was harder b/c I had baby #1 (who was by then a toddler) to take of. Plus, I had to pump while baby #1 was screaming for his milk. Which was stessful for me. With that said, pumping for me was still a better option for lots of reasons. Good luck and whatever you decide for you child will be the right one.

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C.H.

answers from Boise on

I had to pump with my first and it was a pain and painful but worth it. YOu don't have to learn anything, just pop on the pump. For breast feeding my second we spent a lot of time with the nurse. It will hurt at first but you get used to it. I would always pump for about one minute extra at the end after no milk was coming out to make sure I was increasing my supply. You have to be consistent, NEVER skip. If you are feeding him you are pumping, that way you keep up with demand and don't have your milk dry up. So some nights I was pumping every two hours. You will have to have support from your partner. While I pumped my husband would feed him. Everyone told me my supply would dry up but by never skipping I was able to keep it up through the first trimester of my second pregnancy. I got my supply up to the point I would have one bottle that would feed him for the next feeding and one that would go in the freezer. Figure out your storage method and you can have up to two months worth in the freezer when you are done(we had even more then that). Something that might be nice about it with three kids is you would get some alone time while pumping . :) Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I had twins with one in the NICU and one at home so I pumped and breast fed. Pumping was alot of work and to me not as natural and more painful than breastfeeding. I'm pregnant again and plan to breastfeed and possibly do some formula so dad can help out and for ease of public feeding. I am not at all uncomfortable with others breastfeeding in public but am a little uncomfortable with doing it myself. Good luck with whatever you decide!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

A., pumping couldn't be easier. My only advice would be that if you are going to exclusively pump, to rent or buy a hospital-grade pump. It's going to be expensive but those pumps are designed to get down to business and get the milk out - quickly. They don't hurt any more than other pumps and they will save you a ton of time and effort. I rented mine for $70 a month. I'm guessing you could buy one for $600-800 but I'm just guessing on that. Even the best Medela non-hospital-grade pumps aren't quick enough, IMHO, if you are going to be pumping exclusively. Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

It's great that you recognize the benefits of giving your baby breastmilk. there are really cute cover ups that are easy to use, easy to stuff into a diaper bag and bring with you for bf'ing discreetly in public. I used one from this website: http://www.bebeaulait.com/
If pumping ends up being a better fit for you just make sure you keep up with it every 1-2 hours around the clock at first. You probably remember newborns eat that frequently so you will have to mimic the natural eating pattern in order to keep up supply. Once your supply slips it's difficult to get it back. Stay positive and keep people around are going to motivate and support you. Pumping doesn't hurt, it just feels weird. I found actual breastfeeding to be much easier than bottle-feeding or pumping because the food is right there, no prep needed, no need to wash pump parts or bottles. Just put the baby on and relax. Maybe you could breastfeed when you're at home and pump for feedings on the go and in public? Alternatively you could buy one of the cover ups I mentioned and give them a shot. If you don't feel that you'd have support learning to breastfeed consider getting a lactation consultant or going to a breastfeeding support group. They are cropping up in every community. A lactation consultant will be your best resource for telling you how frequently to pump based on the baby's age/wt.
One more thought; if you truly feel breastmilk is best for your baby then maybe, in time, you will shift your thinking about what is offensive. Mom's who bf in public are just trying to give their kids what is best, and just as you don't feel supported when it comes to bf'ing consider that those "offensive" women might also need your support. good luck and congrats.

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A.M.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi A., I was never around breast feeding and it was totally foreign to me as well...I have a 4 1/2 yr old that I breastfed for the first 12 months (until I found out I was pregnant with my boy) and my 3 yr old that I breastfed for 18 months. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and will breast feed this little one as well.

I have to say first off, If you can make it through to first 2 to 3 weeks, you can do it! Especially with a great support team.
I found that with my first one, I had ample time to pump...for 'stocking up' in the freezer and such, but with my 2nd....whoa! what a difference. I had no time to pump. It definitely takes time to pump, and I actually hated pumping!! If you do decide to try nursing, once you get the hang of it, 2-3 weeks for you both to learn, it is soooo easy!!! No making bottles in the middle of the night, no screaming baby waiting for a bottle!! It is awesome!!

I, too, was very nervous and uncomfortable with my first one...but my second, not so much....there are plenty of breastfeeding cover ups on the market these days and many times, no one would ever know what you are doing. I, did, however...with my second, take those single formula packets on outings for convenience...

I think every new experience can be a little uncomfortable, if you are actually comfortable enough to try actually nursing, then I would take advantage of the lactation consultant at the hospital. You may find if you do try to nurse, it may not be as uncomfortable an experience as you might think.

Good Luck!! :)

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J.F.

answers from Muncie on

I have known people to do it but personally I think it would be very difficult to manage especially with having other kids. I have a 10 month old and have only pumped a handful of times since he was about 6 months. When I was trying to establish a stock of milk I had a hard time with that and taking care of my 2 children and ebf on top of it. If you do it make sure you have a hospital grade pump. I used one once and if I wasn't a sahm I would have one they are great (and fast).

Updated

I have known people to do it but personally I think it would be very difficult to manage especially with having other kids. I have a 10 month old and have only pumped a handful of times since he was about 6 months. When I was trying to establish a stock of milk I had a hard time with that and taking care of my 2 children and ebf on top of it. If you do it make sure you have a hospital grade pump. I used one once and if I wasn't a sahm I would have one they are great (and fast).

D.H.

answers from New York on

For what its worth, although I breastfed my 2 kids for a combined total of years, I still am not sure exactly that its breastfeeding when I see it happening in public. And you'd think I'd know what I'm looking at! For the most part, I've found the American public actually gives you a tremendous amount of privacy. I was breastfeeding my daughter on a bench outside a food shop in Epcot and an older gentleman sat down on the other side of the bench and struck up a conversation. I am convinced he had NO idea! Maybe his wife and daughter told him when they came to collect him after they were done shopping! LOL!

I hope everything works out for you okay.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

Pumping does not hurt, and if you have a good double electric pump, it's really pretty easy once you get used to it. As far as breastfeeding itself: I was not breastfed, and my mother was never supportive of my choice, which I really just decided to push aside and not worry about. It's not that she thought I shouldn't do it, she just didn't go out of her way to support me. I think she was more concerned that I was making a statement/judgment about her choice to not breastfeed, which I was not. I was simply making the best decision for me and my daughter. As far as breastfeeding in public, I always found a place the was quiet and somewhat private. There are ways to cover up and not have to share with everyone if you don't want to. For me, the experience of breastfeeding my daughter was an incredibly bonding and intimate experience that I could share with only her. When she stopped I was more than ready, and yet I missed it. My advice would be to just try it. You might not be as uncomfortable as you believe you will be. I really didn't think I would be very comfortable with the whole thing (I am really quite modest), but it turned out very differently for me. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Provo on

Hi, I work full time and breastfeed. At the beginning it is easier to just feed directly especially during the night. There ate special draps you can get that cover you and the baby while feeding. Also as you know you can plan trips around feedings, I even go into another room when I'm with family or friends. Also I bring previous pump milk if in going to be in public and won't have privacy.

As for pumping, it's good to build up a milk supply. One way is when they start feeding less keep pumping the feeding they skip. If you still feel full after a feeding try pumping then. The other option is to give formula occasionally and you pump.

I hope this helps. My baby is 6 months and I'm still feeding and pumping and because it's been working for me I plan to continue for the year. Also the hospital offers a lactation class, that helps to, just take the info that applies to you.

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