Tired of Doing All the Cleaning!

You have very young children! If they are like mine, they enjoy pulling out several toys at once and creating a larger toy--pretty normal.
I've found little people (I have 4 ages 3-14) are more overwhelmed than mom when it comes to cleaning. When my youngest gets up to get yet another toy, I ask him which toys is he finished with, and then we clean it up together. I've also found cleaning toys before lunch (not the ones in use), again before making dinner, and lastly at bedtime, help. Not just me cleaning, but giving the kids each a little job. Hope some of these ideas help.
A.

I have so been there and still am some days! It is getting better though. I have resorted to taking away any toys that are left out after the day is done.

Teaching young children to put away each toy after they use it is hard if it is not done by older siblings and if it is not started at a young age. Stay consistent in taking away the toys that are left out and if they decide to not pick up, they will lose all the toys. Believe me...it works!

I am a work-at-home mom of 4 young children and consistency and positive attention is key to happy children and a happy mommy. Good luck!

Make it a GREAT week!

S.

2 things have worked for us.

1 - Have less toys. I box up all but about 12 toys and keep them locked in the closet. The plan was to pull out a box or so at a time to play with and then put away. I just never do it. They play with the 12 toys. (Which somehow multiply). Every month or so, I box up more toys and put them away for good.) Do it during naptime so they can't cry about it.

2 - buy a roomba vacuum. Even my littlest kids will pick up all their toys so the robot vacuum doesn't "eat" them. Worth the money, imho. http://www.hammacher.com/Product/76435 Buy it from a company with a Lifetime Guarantee

Oh, it also helps to have a toy room. My aunt strictly enforced the 'no toys out of the toy room' rule.

I got tired of being the bad guy--always nagging about picking up the toys... Now it's out of my hands. We have a Gobble Bag who has come to live with us. (Scary face on a pillow case) If Gobble Bag finds toys left out after mom says to clean up, he eats them. To get the items back, the kids have to ask for them, and then do a chore for me to earn their release. They scramble to save favorite toys from Gobble Bag, and now I don't have to be the bad guy anymore!

The rule at our house is that if I have to ask more than twice, and I start picking up the toys, then they are MINE! :) Okay, I really just lock them up for a few days. But, usually that is enough incentive to get them moving. I tell them that if they are going to have toys and play with them, they have to be responsible enough to pick them up or they lose them.

You might try giving them a "choice" of putting the toys away or you will take them away from them for a day/week. If they don't put them back where they need to go, then put them out of reach, but in sight. When they want them next, calmly remind them they made the choice to to have them taken away vs. put away. Next time ask them what choice they will make? Be clear of the consequences of not cleaning up, and stick to them. Especailly the 4 year old should be able to quickly learn the consequences of not picking up.

I also agree with using the housefairy methods. she uses a reward system. I love it.
if my 3 yr old won't help clean up her toys I get out a basket and put the ones on the floor up in a closet and she has to do extra chores to get them back. if she doesn't want to earn them back they go to the donate box.
usually works. in fact the other night she decided she didn't want to pick up her toys and I said they will go in the closet and she thought about it for a minute and then said that's okay I can do chores for them tomorrow.
lol.
and she did.
I've just started to use housefairy with her. I think its a perfect time because Christmas is getting closer and she's old enough to remember what Christmas is, the premise of house fairy is that she is Santa Clause's sister and she helps make sure the kids stay on the good list through out the year by keeping their rooms clean and their chores done.
I think they are at a great age to learn you can lose things if you don't care for them.
and since they are young I allow for her to earn hers back but she doesn't just get them back in a week etc. it was not doing a chore that got them put up so doing a chore is a great way to get them back.
she sweeps the kitchen floor, washes windows, dusts, helps load the dishwasher, pledges my lower cupboards in the kitchen--she's a great little helper and if she's put in a good effort I don't worry about if it's perfect (thanks to FlyLady I repeat "even housework done incorrectly blesses my home") just the fact she is learning these concepts.
you are more creative than I have been! lol, no cute games--I couldn't think of any. so kudos to you--and Good luck!

At my house we have a huge dry erase chore chart (haha dad is on it too) my kids are 8 and 4, but they get .10 for every chore they do without being told and if i have to ask or tell them its .05 per chore. This includes mom and dad, once they see mom and dad digging into the money to get out their share (yes i know it goes right back in they do not know that though) then they see we are doing our money and they are getting nothing.

The youngest wouldn't do it at all at first until he saw his sister getting like 4 bucks out of it. I put simple things on it to start with, things they like to do like you mentioned, including going potty (for the younger one) making bed, brush teeth, dust certain rooms, vacuum certain rooms basically the whole house gets cleaned to taking the trash out every week. they love to dust and run the vacuum the kicker is i do not have on it to pick up toys. They know when i say pick up toys that its time for someone to vacuum and hey the toys are picked up. They also both love to use the swiffer mop we have, if they get to use it they get their money and from my view which they don't get yet, dusting mopping and vacuuming have to happen after they pick up.

I have also picked up stuff and put it in the vacuum (we have a bagless clear dirt holder on it. they move pretty fast when i stuff a toy in it and turn it off and grumble.

Another thing we do (when i watch other kids) is play "find me something green" and they have to find it and put it away, or robot. Dad walks around like a robot and says "toy on the floor throw away" they will race pretty quick to get it.

We also have jugs that have their name on them and they can see how much they are saving up. Email me if you want i can send ya a picture of our chore chart or give you more ideas

S., Imagine this scenario: my husband got so tired of the routine you described, that one day after warning the kids to put their toys away or suffer the consequences, he took out a large trash bag, filled it with every toy laying on the floor and put it in the dumpster outside. The kids watched in horror when the trash man came with his big truck and emptied the dumpster. After that they took better care of their things. The kids are grown up now with families of their own, but they still remember that awful day when they were three and four years old. J.

We use love and logic, it works. I ask the kids to do their chores and clean up their messes, if they don't do it I simply ask them if they want to pay me to do it for them. They get an allowance every Friday, they pay me 2.50 per chore( I keep track). They get paid by their ages, so $12 for the 12 year old, you get it. Notice it is not " I am taking your allowance away" it is you can pay me. Now yours are young so it may take a while to sink in, and be ready to do it if you have to! And your allowance amounts will be smaller so you can charge them less.

I have found a few things helpful. After their time limit of cleaning, I go in and throw the rest in a sack. If they keep their room cleaned for a week then they get the items back. Also my girls really work well if we all work together. We will play 100 pickup. We all work together till we have picked up 100 things. we also play hide and seek pickup. One of the girls pick which room they want to clean up and they hide. Me and the other daughter finds them and then we have to clean that room. One game that might not work untill your kids are a little older is the money game. I find this game to be very successful. I have two versions. The first is that I go around the house and I put lose change under some items that need to be picked up. They come in and pick up. The rule is that you have to put away what you touch. The second version is that I only hide one coin under something in the room and whoever finds it gets to go hide the next coin. I also have the room fairy visit from time to time she leaves little messages and coins if their room is cleaned. A lot of praise works great to. They like to hear that they are doing things right. I also like to plug in little sayings into their ears like, "One of these days you'll be so big that you will remember to ______ yourself."
Pick up your toys
Get Dressed
Make your bed
Brush your teeth
Then when they do remember praise them lots. They love to please mom. Good Luck I hope you find a few things helpful that have been mentioned.

I told my boys (8 & 5) that if they weren't picking up their toys it was because they had too many of them. If they've got a huge pile (kitchen trash bag or more) full of stuff between their rooms that isn't picked up when pickup time is over, it gets tied shut to stay in the garage for a month. If it's a smaller pile (Walmart bag or smaller) it goes in the trash. I have them put it in the bag so they can see what they're missing out on-either permanently or for a long time. Then they take it out to the garage (if they can manage w/o tearing the bag) or put it in the trash can. A friend took all but a few of her kids' toys (son had 3 Thomas engines, one daughter had 2 dolls & a toy shopping cart, another daughter had 3 barbies & a few clothes for them) & put it on the curb.

I hear ya'. My oldest is the worst! I ask him to start cleaning up a room, and go in not 5 mins later, and he's playing with the toys again or with something entirely new. About the only thing that has worked at all for us is the 'throw it away' (or hide it temporarily) technique that someone mentioned. I think I need to be more diligent about it though - I tend to forget and just clean it up myself or nag and nag the kids for an hour then still have to clean up the few remaning items.

I might look into some of the other suggestions as well.

You might want to think about having a one bucket at a time rule. Each girl can get out one bucket of toys at a time and has to clean it up before she can open a new one. Also, we clean up generally three times a day. Before lunch, before dinner and before bedtime, we pick up toys. There are a few exceptions like when they build a nice train track, I may let that stay out for a couple of days, but they still have to line up the trains so it looks nice. Currently, there is an eight foot tepee in my dining room that gets to stay up until Saturday. Maybe clean up time for your girls needs to come right before something they really want like dessert time. From a young age, we worked consistently with our kids to teach them what "pick up your room" means and if we told them to do it, we always followed through. If you give up and do it for them, you have taught your girls that what you say doesn't mean a thing. You have to follow through every time. Don't yell, but you may have to stand there and watch them while they pick up. With boys, who can clean faster works well. With girls, lets see how fast we can do this together seems to work well. Also, one of my sons love to count, so when he was younger, we would count together as he cleaned up. Honestly, your girls will only do what is expected of them. If you are doing it for them, you aren't honestly expecting them to do it. You must be there, following through ever time. Good luck to you and hang in there. Teaching your kids obedience is difficult, but one of the most important things you will ever do. T.

Hey steph, all these are really great tips. Here is something i do with my 4 & 8 year old boys. When they ask for something i ask is your room clean?? Then they scatter to go clean it. If they ask ,i ask.... So when i am asking and they say no ....i remind then that when they ask for something mommy does it or gives it.
Taking tv time. Computer time. Good luck and god bless. Girls are more helpful than boys and i make it a point to ask my kiddos to do things all the time, then they start seeing that it is nice to help and it makes mommy feel happy.

Your children are awfully young to be told simply "put away the toys." They will understand (even 2 y/o) more specific commands like "put the balls in the red bin" wait for it to be done, then "put the dolls in the blue box." I've had much better success with this method.

Also a saving grace: www.housefairy.org

I don't know if your kids are old enough to do this yet but my mom would keep a bin for toys that she found lying around. her rule was "if I have to pick them up they go in here." That bin was away where we could not get to it and of we wanted our toy back we had to earn it. Anything that we didn't seem to care about for a while she gave away or threw away.

You remember that they are just 4 and 2. Relish in the fact that they help out at all. Tell yourself to be patient with them. Yelling will only make them dislike it more because they will begin to associate cleaning up with being yelled at. I know it's hard to keep walking on/over toys all day long. My oldest is 4 and my youngest (who delights in emptying things -- cabinets, bags, laundry baskets, toy buckets, etc) is 1. I just try to remember that each step forward is cause for joy in the improvement. Hang in there!

S.,

I hear you. I totally want my kids to clean up after themselves, not just for my sake but for the sake of their future wives! You could have some fun with this. Try giving them a choice. "Hey guys, either you can pick up your toys or I can pick them up." They'll pick you. Then put those toys in a big garbage bag and haul them out to the garage or basement, somewhere that they can be held for whatever time you choose, like a week. They'll squawk, like any normal kids would. Then you can explain, "When you pick up your toys, you get to keep them. When I pick them up, I get to do what I want with them." Be consistent, and they will soon see the value of picking up their things.

Another idea would be to charge them to get them back, like 25 cents per toy or whatever you choose. This is a great way to use an allowance or birthday money. After all, isn't this what happens in the real world? A consequence delivered with empathy (not anger) will usually work.

Good luck!

C. Hoffman
www.EmbraceLifeParenting.com

A lot of it is their age. They have a very short attention span (around 5 minutes). So if they clean for 3-5 minutes that's about the end of their limit. Also, we sometimes forget that sorting things (putting them in their correct bucket) is a skill that kids this age are still learning. I tought Kindergarten, and we were still teaching kids how to sort things. And the more detail there is to sort, the harder it is.
Tackle one thing at a time. Tell them to put all the clothes they can find in the hamper. Then tell them to put the shoes under the bed. Then the stuffed toys in the bin. And you are going to have to be right there, helping them and directing them. Give them a toy and tell them where to put it. Then have them come back for more. Set a timer for 5 minutes and stop when it goes off. Come back to the job for another 5 minutes later on. And, when they finish playing with something, help them put it away right then.

I'll be honest, you're going to be doing a lot of the work for a while. And guiding them for longer. As parents, we tend to send our kids off to "clean their room" and we forget that they look at everything and get so overwhelmed they can't even begin. But if we're there, telling them which to do next, they can manage a lot better. Just stick with it, and the job will get easier as time goes. My 11 year old is now able to clean with little direction, and my boys (8 and 6) only need prompting of what to focus on next. I still break it down into manageable time chunks (or job chunks sometimes - pick up 20 things). Keep at it and they will learn as they get older.

Ask twice for toys to be picked up. If they are not, simply box up all toys that are not put away and put in storage. Eventually all toys will be gone. We talked about any toys that aren't picked up in the future will go to charity and this seems to have worked. I always give a time frame for this task as well--usually at least a day.

I hate chore charts, but I have certain things I make sure my 4 year old do, like put the liner in the garbage and wind up the cord on the vacuum. He can also pick up his toys, yada yada, you know. In any case, when he is resistant to a task I get on him until he does it. A good time is while he's watching TV. He can either do it while the TV is on or it goes off until he's through. Another time is right before going outside to play with friends. "hurry, so we can go outside" is pretty effective. sometimes I just use things that I know are coming up, like "do you want to go to ___ tomorrow?"