Time Management Advice

It sounds like you have your hands fulland are stressed. A few things you might try are: order your groceries online and either have them delivered or pick them up at the store. Find a cook once eat all week kind of cookbook Where you can spend a little time on the weekend (with your son) cooking and prepping meals for the week (or month). Freeze and/or pack them so you just have to pop them in the Microwave. Take a few minutes AFTER your son goes to bed to prep breakfast and lunches and clean up that mess so you don't come home to it in the evening. Pick one area each night to pick up/straighten/clean taking 10 or 15 minutes. That way your weekend isn't all about cleaning & errands. With a little practice and a little planning ahead it can all be a little smoother and a little more bearable. Good luck.

could you afford some household help - a cleaning lady every couple weeks? or a young student to do some of the daily chores? that could just help alleviate that feeling...
courage

I am not sure if you are referring to a bath for yourself or your son but either way, do you have to have one everynight. Have you tried quicker meals, Hormel and tyson put out main dishes that can be heated in 5 minutes as long as they are thawed. Think sides that can be fixed in less than 20 mins. Get your son to help by setting the table, clearing the table, dressing and undressing himself. Do you have more time in your morning? Do some of the evening stuff then if possible. When you go grocery shopping do two weeks at a time. Are there chores that can be done every two weeks instead of weekly. I hope this helps some. and God Bless

Sounds like the typical rat race. One suggestion a veteran mom gave (didn't work for my family, but has helped others), take one or two days per month and make some dishes in advance, freeze them and pull them out which cuts out one step when you get home. What worked for me was learning to use my crock pot for some meals. That was almost like coming home to a meal prepared by my chef. Making a monthly menu helped save time and expenses. I often did that while at lunch at work. But, I only felt comfortable using crock pot when I'd be out on weekends for short periods of time (3 hrs), though. Also, taking one weekend off from chores tends to help for peace of mind. If that's not an option, seek out either a good babysitter or trusted family member who wouldn't mind taking your 5-year-old out for a few hours once per month so you can rest and rejuvenate. Also, learn to get to bed very shortly after your 5-year-old. I have learned that if my kids are down by 8:30, I can get to bed by 9:15 and feel rested. (I don't even care if the 10-year-old is asleep, as long as he is quiet and does not call my name.) Those days I try to be a superwoman and stay up til midnight to do chores take a toll out of me the rest of the week. There are times we might have to stay up late, but that cannot be your daily schedule. I also wake before the family, which gives me alone time to do things I enjoy, like reading. I also must, must, must have quiet time in the day to pray. That keeps my mind at peace when the craziness of life starts knocking at the door. I do pray your husband is well on the road to recovery and that you are strengthened physically, emotionally and spiritually to endure all that your family is experiencing. Remember, life is a marathon and not a sprint to the finish. Pace yourself. There's always more work, and you shouldn't wear yourself out.

J.,
you have received some great advice thus far. The only thing I can add is that you need PRAYER!!!! and lots of it.
So I will be praying for you.
Hang in there I know it is hard, but the Lord is your Strength, try to remember that.
D.

Start doing more crock pot meals (lots of recipes on line) where you can prepare them in the morning or night before, you come home to a house smelling of great food....
Or do something like Dinner Done (www.dinnerdone.com) or Lets Dish- where you prepare a week or month worht of meals in the space of 2 hours- and freeze them- then you just set them out to thaw and heat them up. while they cook, you can do bath and cleaning.
Pick three nights a week to clean the morning mess- and enlist your son in helping clean. He can have chores like wiping down tables, putting dishes in the dishwasher, putting clothes in the laundry or even starting a load.
I would cut baths to weekends and one night a week, and the rest do a quick 5 minute shower- and make the baths fun, when you DO do them.

He can help clean the kitchen too. I have a rule. I only use one counter in the kitchen for dishes/ preparing meals, chopping, etc. then only one to clean.

I highly suggest the 10 or so dollars it costs to have PEAPOD deliver your groceries. Saves time and money since you don't do compulsive buying.

I can somewhat relate because my husband either works 2nd or 3rd shift so a lot of that stuff falls on me.

Is it possible for you to hire a housecleaner to take care of the house once a week or so. If there is a college in your area, you could probably find a college student willing to do this for an affordable rate, and maybe even to cook you dinner. You might even be able to find someone able to watch your son at your house, which would eliminate picking him up from daycare.

Also, try meals that are easy to prepare for serving them. For example, put all the ingredients in the crock pot and let it cook all day. You will come home to dinner waiting for you. Another thing to try would be to cook larges pots of soup, large amounts of spaghetti sauce, large pans of lasagna, etc. Then freeze it into serving sizes. Thaw it overnight and throughout the day in the fridge, then just stick it in the oven or microwave to heat it for dinner.

time management advice.. dont do so much !!
try to eliminate at least one time wasting activity.. and when in doubt.. delegate things out. one think i have discovered that saves alot of time, is to double your receipes and then put the extra back in the fridge..then you have tomorrows dinner already waiting in the fridge, and GET A CROCKPOT..,set it up in the morning, put your cut veggies in, add enough meat to make a cow sweat and some gravy on top turn it on and walk out the door. as for cleaning the house, shove everyone out the door on a saturday morning and then get to it. but dont turn right around and tackle the laundry.. take a nap between finishing up the house and doing the laundry.
as for handling a lover ( i am guessing here) with
chemo.. just be thankful you have chance to say good bye
and talk things over, my first husband died very suddenly
at 42 of a massive heart attack, i had been with him for
almost seventeen years, and i am the lucky person who
found him.
K. H.

J.:

I'm sorry you are going through this.

1. hire an agency come clean your home. take this chore off your plate.

2. ASK FOR HELP! If you have family nearby, ask them for help. You still need time to yourself and working fulltime isn't time for yourself. Ask your church family for help as well.

3. Take the two minutes to clean the kitchen up before you leave in the AM. TRUST me. It's MUCH better to take that time while it's fresh than to scrub it off later - it takes more time. It also attracts ants and other pests.

4. Have your son set his clothes out for the next day the night before. This will eleviate one more thing in the AM.

5. I don't know where you live, however, there are places that you can go to for $150 to cook your own meals for a week - oohh man, I can't think of their names right now - but it's FUN! You make 5 meals in one sitting and bring them home and freeze them, take 'em out in the AM and it makes your evening that much easier! I LOVE IT!!

6. Ensure you take the time to make a grocery list. Have your son help you! My boys LOVE to go grocery shopping with me! Pushing the cart, getting items, holding the coupons! It's also a learning experience for them as well, they learn counting to tell me how much I've got in coupons.

7. Since he's just starting to read - have him read a book to you while you are cooking dinner. It makes him feel like a big boy!!

8. Put a load of laundry in the washer in the AM before you leave for work then put it in the dryer when you get home.

Where do you live? I live in Reston, VA.

I hope this helps.

best regards,

cheryl

Hi J., Your posting jumped out at me because I have a 5 year old son in Kindergarten, and work full time as well (and I have a 4 and 2 year old son also). But I don't take the metro, or have the medical issue, so God bless you lady for going going going. HANG IN THERE!!

First, try to streamline, streamline best you can. Read the book ON the metro, not at home to save time if you can. Only give a bath every other day (my son gets a bath 3 times a week, not every night, unless he got sweaty during the day).

Try to take the time (like you have any extra!) on the weekends to make more meals that will get you thru the week. A casserole, lasanga, something you like as leftover so you can just heat it up when you get home. I make pizzas a lot (buy the crust, my 5 year old puts on the sauce and cheese). We have soup with it. I make a bunch of chocolate chips pancakes on Saturday and freeze bags of them (5 in each freezer bag), then pop in teh microwave for about 30 seconds to thaw out, quick breakfast meal.

Is there anyone that can help out once a week? Sometimes just a few hours by yourself (sometimes I go to the grocery store alone) can give you a little breathing room to regroup. How about at your church?

Also, put errands all together, if you go to church, hit the grocery store on the way home. Give your son a few things to do to help you. I just got my 5 year old to start setting the table and emptying the little trash cans around the house. They like to have tasks sometimes.

AND I am a big supporter of a leisurely bath! I take one once a week after my boys go to bed, I read a magazine and just relax and feel a lot better afterwards.

God bless you J.! I'll pray for you to be strengthened and your time to be supernaturally expanded!! --V.

J., let me applaud you for handling your load and asking for help. You burning out won't help, you need some down time for you as well. If you have friends, church memebers, family who could take turn giving you an hour or two each week, to keep your son, while you take a bubble bath or read a book, or just keep still, that would help. Try using disposable materials for your meals. That would help with the clean up time. Try coming up with a meal plan, that would allow you to cook on the weekend, and put some in the freezer for later in the week. And most of all, include him in your house keeping, dusting or what ever he can handle. This will help his self asteem, helping mommy, it allows time to bond, and he will learn how to be a productive person. Good luck.

Here are a few tips. ) I have 4 children ranging from 18 to 2.

1) Use either a crock pot (Betty Crocker has a great cookbook I use bc I am not creative!) or cook in bulk and freeze for future meals. This way you can just come home and "grab" dinner with little clean up. It takes time off the weekday nights and adds a little to the weekend (most of the cooking is done).
2) Google free kids dinner deals in your area. Most restaurants have special deals (buy an adult entree get one kids meal) during the week. I know the last thing you want to go back out after work, but on your way home you could utilize this opportunity. This is when homework folders could be looked at, books read, etc. while waiting on dinner. If just the two of you, its cheaper than cooking!
3) Get with girlfriends and double recipes for the week. Monetarily, it works out with everyone cooking extra. Again, freeze for future meals.
4) See if any of your grocery stores allow you to pick your groceries online for later pick up., There is usually a charge, but its not more than the "extras" you would get if you brought a 5 year old with you to the store. This way you get only what you need and don't spend the time there.
5) Check around with the neighborhood teenagers who would be willing to come over and help with vacuuming, etc. It's cheaper than a "maid" and they get to earn a little extra money! :)If its someone you trust, this is time you could use for your bonding activity (in or out of the home!)

I don't really have any answers for you, just wanted to say that your day sounds typical of what we are all handling. (Except the part about the father going through Chemo - that's got to make it tougher.) We are also in a race against the clock every evening to get it all done and get the kids to bed at a decent hour. What happens in our home is that I don't even try to cook - we do take-out most days. I'll cook a quickie dinner maybe once a week. And also, the kids just don't get to bed when they should. We are all a little sleep-deprived during the week and try to sleep a little more on the weekends. I think that's the modern life. But I think it will get easier as the kids get older and can do more for the themselves and they need less sleep. Just commiserating with you!

Well, it's going to get worse as he gets older because you'll have to throw homework in there somewhere...
I would suggest not making as much of a mess in the morning or picking that up as you go. Then you'll come home to a relatively clean house. Your son can make his bed and make sure his room is picked up before school - it takes less than 5 min. and it doesn't have to be perfect. Make him put his clothes in the laundry hamper so you don't have to pick them up.
Do dinner in the crock pot - it's easy and there's little mess. You may also consider cooking one day a month and packaging everything in individual servings.
Toss in one load of laundry every day to keep up with it.
As your son gets older, he can certainly start to help more.
YMMV
LBC

I share a similar story and here is what I found to help me out doing that time period which was about 2.5 yrs. Although my son was older than yours at the time it was still an effort to get things done. So one suggestion would be in the area of meals. On Saturday or Sunday I would prepare a meal with (2) meats such as a chicken and a pot roast; then some sides so that on Monday and Tuesday I am just adding if necessary a side or two. As for the mess it can be as simple as saying "there is no mess" sometimes we tend to think that we have to clean it up or else. Not so. Also involve your 5 yr old in the clean up. My son for instance at that age enjoyed rinsing the dishes (yes playing in water) but he did get the concept and he is 21 today and does the dishes. One thing that I did was I skipped a day of routine. That day I came home warmed up dinner, ate, read a book, took a bath, got ready for bed EARLY. This helps because the body needs rests. You especially as the caregiver for all of yur family. Now for the grocery shopping. This was not too much of a change because I had to do it. If you can look for a Giant or Safeway that delivers. Now they do require a certain amount in spending but if that is not good then I strongly suggest maybe getting with a girlfriend and make it an event. By this I mean maybe she will drive one time, or when in the grocery store shop together so that you see where your similarities are. Another good one is that I found that shopping during the week (daytime) was much better. It seems the grocery stores have certain sepcials during the week and less crowded and more importantly if you find out when the fresh meats are put out you win there too.

I hope this helps! My prayers to you and family.

Sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job at time management. I hope you don't get sick and that God continues to give you energy to handle the extra load while your husband is sick. AF

Sounds like you are managing well...you are working full time and a single mom - and you had him later in life, so it's definitely harder! He won't be 5 forever, but in the meantime, try not to burn out on things that aren't necessary...such as - outings and lessons, etc....there's plenty of time for those things in the future and he will just be happy spending time with you whatever you're doing. Also, instead of trying to clean the morning mess before he goes to bed in 2.5 hours, try spending the quality time with him during those hours and then, after bedtime, wash the dishes, etc - it's much easier to clean without the kids needing you...and you can always try to do an easy crock-pot meal so it is ready by the evening - throw some stuff in there, set it on low, then dinner is ready when you get home - no cooking time necessary...and clean up is fairly easy. Sometimes I even leave the dishes till the morning time...do them before the kids wake up or while they are getting ready for school. You can also cook with your son so that is extra quality time and it makes it more fun for him - so then on the weekends, don't worry about cramming in tons of extra activities...go grocery shopping and do chores early - like Friday night and Saturday morning...and then the rest of the weekend you can relax...Saturday afternoon/evening and Sunday after church.
Also - your son is 5 years old and he can help you with certain chores - have him participate in clean up - he can do his room/toys, maybe help put the dishes away, etc...and when you feel yourself getting burned out - ask for help! I'm sure someone at church or a neighbor would exchange favors for babysitting for you, etc - you can maybe meet other moms that need a break too - take an evening to get your nails done and not cook, etc. It's so easy for us to place so much on ourselves to be the perfect moms, but in the long run the kids will be fine if you take a break every once in a while and maybe pick one night to just go to McD's or ChickFilA and let the kids play in the playland, burn some energy, have a nice meal without cooking and no clean up! Also - if your church ever has meals together, take advantage of it! Sometimes I don't feel like going out of the house, but it's so nice once a month to eat dinner with the church and not have to do it all myself. Some of the food choices may not be what I would have chosen, but I look back on some of the things I used to eat and I turned out fine, so I'm sure the kids will be fine too.
I also buy some of those family meals in the fridge section of Wal-Mart - they are fairly cheap and SUPER easy to make - throw the lasagna or whatever in the oven and it's ready in an hour, but in the meantime you can have homework, chores, etc done and then eat and it saves a lot of prep time...and you can throw the package away for easy clean up.
For grocery shopping, try going to Costco or another bulk store and buy everything in bulk so you don't have huge shopping trips every weekend....it saves money and time.
I am a clean freak and want to clean all the time...but sometimes you just have to let it go - maintain throughout the week and then worry about one thing at a time...don't try to keep things perfect on a daily basis.
Good luck - it will eventually get easier and remember God will never put more on you than you can handle!

May I suggest paper products for a little while so there is not so much mess to clean up. I have a large family and it was taking to much time so we went to that and it helped. Not cheap but... I would get them at Costco or sams. You can do baths on a set schedule and on those days do a crockpot meal. That would def add time. My kids don't get baths everyday there is not enogh time. Make a calendar. Put everything on it from bath time to laundry to washing dishes to story time when you leave and whenyou get home. And then POST it. I have a foster daughter who is a single mom. I have finally been able to get her to use a calendar and she finally has more time in her day and is able to get everything done. There are really great crockpot recipes out there. a good one is boneless frozen chicken breast a container of Sour Cream 3
a+nd a packet of lipton onion soup. Crock pot it and it will be ready when you get home. We use egg noodles with it It is so yummy and yes the chicked does defrost.
Good luck and if you want more ideas let me know