Thumb Sucking with Blanket Has to Go!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

Updated on June 11, 2008
A.L. asks from Clarksville, TN
19 answers

My almost 3 year old daughter has been sucking her thumb since she was in the womb!! She also carries a blanket around. Recently, I told her that her blanket can no longer leave the house. She has been very good about leaving it home when we go out. I think the blanket will be easier to break her of it than her thumb. I need help and advice with her THUMB. It's not like a pacifier, you just can't "lose" it or something. So, I'm begging all you great moms for your BEST advice!! Thanks in advance for all your help!!

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So What Happened?

Currently, we are starting with the blanket. She gets to have it when she takes a nap and when she goes to bed. She has been very good about letting us put it up in her closet when she wakes up. The only time she gets it outside the home is when we go on a long trip. As for the thumb?? Hmmmm.... Lots of advice, but I think we are going to GENTLY talk to her about it. My goal is to just have her very aware of it by the time she goes to kindergarten. This way, she can make the decision, herself, about sucking her thumb. We will reward her for not doing it, not punish her for doing it. Thanks for all the great ideas.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

My daughter also sucked her thumb in the womb. I wondered how I would ever break her of it. Around her 2nd birthday, she wanted her fingernails pained. I had previously told her I would paint them AFTER she stopped sucking her thumb. That hadn't worked so I changed my tactic. I told her that I would paint them but if she wanted to keep them preety to show Grandma that weekend, whe would have to stop sucking her thumb or all the polish would come off. It worked!! The first day or 2 I had to remind her a few times but after that she quit. She is now 4 1/2 and no longer sucks her thumb. (However, I have caught her doing it in her sleep a few times).

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T.S.

answers from Lexington on

I Just wanted to add a little something here. I am 27 and since infancy I have gad a "blankie". It is a pillow case that I rub my hand on. Don't know why I do it, but I HAVE to. I am an adult with a habit....lol.I have tried MANY times to get rid of it, but it calls' to me....haha. My daughter does the same thing ironically. I wouldn't push the blankie thing. Definitely leave it at home and put it away if company is over, but seriously, what is the harm in having a blankie????
The thumb sucking, yes should go, I have a paci user so I don't know how to help with that. We are having out own issues here.
I just thought that as an adult blankie user I would point out that it really isn't a big deal, and if she wants to keep it until she doesn't want it anymore then set a few ground rules, but it isn't bad to have around.
T.

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S.P.

answers from Nashville on

A., I had two who sucked thumbs and one who sucked her fingers upside down through her blanket! For one of the thumb suckers it just took a lot of reminding. We talked about it with her and then every time I saw her sucking her thumb I would nicely say, "take your thumb out" and she would. It would often take MANY MANY times, but I was consistently nice about it and it eventually stopped. She still sucked at night as she were going to bed but that eventually stopped. For the one sucking her fingers I was really concerned about her teeth. At night I would wrap her two fingers in gauze and tape them. She wasn't able to suck them at all. It stopped after one week. My son would not stop! Before kindergarten his dentist put a special plate on the roof of his motuh, attached to his back teeth, that made him unable to suck his thumb. Although he stopped very quickly, the plate had to remain for 6 weeks in order to make sure he wouldn't start up again. It affected his speech slightly, but no big deal and he was happy to have stopped before school started.
Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Chattanooga on

I don't have a child that is a thumb sucker, but I've been a middle school teacher, and I'm here to tell you not to necessarily believe anyone that tells you that she'll stop when she starts school. I've had several students who would still suck their thumbs in class at age 13. I even had one student who did it that told me that both her parents sucked their thumbs into their 20s! If I were you I'd just try my best to be persistent. Maybe you could sit down with her and figure out something that she'd really love to have. Then place a jar in the house and add a dollar to the jar every day that she doesn't suck her thumb, but if she gets caught doing it even one time then the jar is emptied and she has to start over. This would be a visual reminder to help her remember to do it. After having to start over a few times she'd probably start remembering not to suck her thumb, and eventually it would become second nature. When she has enough money in the jar then she gets her reward. It's worth a try.

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K.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

All three of my children were blanketing carrying thumb suckers. They all three broke at different times. My oldest son didn't stop sucking his thumb until Kindergarten. That is when he found out how many germs were on his thumb and that was nasty to him. My youngest stopped on his own. Just one day we were sitting there and my husband said, "Have you noticed him not sucking his thumb lately?" My daughter was a whole different story. She was bound and determined she wasn't going to stop sucking her thumb. Everytime we saw it in her mouth, we pulled it out. We put gauze and bandaides on it trying to make it too gross and she wouldn't want to do it. We finally got her broke, but it took a long time. That "hot stuff" that you buy to paint on their thumb nail did not work at all. As far as the blankets, we just progressivly went from "no taking them out of the house", "no taking them farther than the living room", "no taking them out of the bedroom", then we took them away.

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K.L.

answers from Knoxville on

Hi A.,

I feel sort of odd replying to your post seeing as my one son does not suck his thumb, but I did as a kid! And I vividly remember my mom hating that I did it. It drove her nuts and would actually make her really mad at times. Once I started school I would stop doing it during the day but would unconsciously do it at night. She tried everything, nasty tasting nail polish, pulling my thumb out while I slept. I hate to say it, but her attitude about it just stressed me out more. I eventually stopped around the 2nd grade on my own after I hurt my thumb. So I guess I'm just trying to suggest that you try not to stress out about it too much. She will stop when she wants to. She's not doing it to upset you and she will more than likely grow out of it as she gets older.

K.

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Hi, A.~

My oldest and youngest are also 11 years apart (the girls), but there are two (exactly opposite) boys in between. Kids are interesting! (Oldest girl has 3 little ones, now, too; so I'm 'Mom-Mom' X 3).

And our 'baby' (*sigh*) will be 20 this Friday and is leaving Tuesday for Air National Guard basic and specialized training in TX (we're in WV). So we are 'empty nesters.

Anyway, our oldest daughter didn't have any 'addictions' (bottle, blanket, thumb, pacifier, etc). The boys both had colic and were quite attached to pacifiers as babies, but gave them up fairly easily when they started walking. Then came Anita and broke all the rules! LOL (For starters, all the others were born on Sundays -- her on Wednesday).

During my pregnancies and their infancies, I read almost everything I could get my hands on about parenting. I always thought I'd be mortified if any of my kids sucked his/her thumb, but I FINALLY read somewhere that if there's something that gives a child 'security', and we try to take it away, it only makes them feel MORE insecure -- and need it MORE. Made sense.

This youngest started sucking her thumb regularly at about 3-1/2 months, so we tried to handle it delicately (not easy for me -- the steamroller type!) When she got teeth, I explained to her that sucking her thumb was making her front teeth stick out (which occurs naturally in my side of the family, anyway). She sucked her thumb avidly until she started pre-school at 4, then she 'broke' herself. It was cute. She'd lay down to sleep -- conscientiously and purposefully keeping her thumb OUT of her mouth -- but when she'd be about to drift off, it would 'automatically' find its way there. That would jolt her senses and she'd jerk it out. Within a week or so, she was done.

I'd advise you that you ONLY 'advise' her (don't make 'demands') about this and let it her make her own 'informed decision' to stop. The more you pressure her, the worse of a problem it could become. (Think logically and realistically, right?)

I also read in some of the parenting info that, if the need arises, you can cut the security blanket in half. Then in half again, and again until they're ready to give up the last little corner (all this with explanations about how, as they age and mature, they only need it half as much -- an encouragement thing). Of course I've also heard of some kids going off to college with a piece of satin binding of their 'blankie'!

Whatever! Don't sweat the 'small stuff' (and it's ALL 'small stuff')

God bless and happy parenting (and grandparenting).

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

Start talking to her about what a big girl she is and how only babies need to suck their thumb, When you catch her with her thumb in her mouth say wait, let me get the camera so I can show (someone she admires: Dad, Dora the explorer, etc) that you have your thumb in your mouth. I have heard you can put hot sauce on the thumb but don't know the results of that.

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S.U.

answers from Raleigh on

Sounds all to familiar. My middle daughter had a pull bunny (long sprung) that she was so attached to, and every time she had that bunny her thumb was right in her mouth. I absolutely did not have the heart to ever take away her best little friend, although if I had she probably would have resorted to the thumb alone.

She grew out of both of them at age five on her own. There really really! is not much you can do about that thumb. I have to disagree with anyone that puts stuff on nails, or tries pepper or hotsauce? Almost seems a bit inhumane to the thing that causes your child comfort, and it's all they've known since birth (sometimes before!). The more you try to make it unattractive, the more security with it they seem to need. My real advice is to let her grow out of it on her own, she will. Most thumb sucking does not cause permanent damage to teeth alignment from what I've experienced and noticed. Good luck....

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A.B.

answers from Asheville on

Hi,
I have had that problem and we just put something sour yet safe and edible on the thumb. Seemed to work. If that don't work, bandage both thumbs so largely she can't get them in her mouth. For every day she don't suck or try to suck on them, take one small piece off. Hope this helps, A.

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N.P.

answers from Knoxville on

My daughter sucked two fingers and carried her "bankie" for a long time. She gave up the fingers gradually but went off to college with her bankie and has it still. My oldest nephew (now an M.D.) sucked his thumb till he had a knot on it. His dad was a doctor also. Today there is no problem with teeth and psychologically they seem healthy. Don't worry! They'll give it up when they're ready.

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A.C.

answers from Lexington on

I have 2 daughters that wouldn't stop sucking their thumbs no matter what I tried... so at ages 8 and 10 I ended up taking them to the dentist and they put in an orthodontic appliance, it had a little roller ball on it and they were encouraged to play with that with their tounge and it had to stay in place for atleast 6 months it kept them from getting suction if they did put their thumbs in their mouths those appliances were the only thing that worked for me but they worked and was worth every penny...(my oldest one also had a blanket that was the easy part)
now at 14 and 15 they are both in braces..lol

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B.D.

answers from Greensboro on

About the blanket....
I know college students that still carry around a security blanket, teddy bear or something similar when they travel. I believe it is "normal" to have something that will give them comfort. I also witnessed this on my son's class trip to Washington - I smiled as they loaded up on the Coach buses so early in the morning and the kids (teenagers) hugging tattered pillows, blankets and stuffed animals. So keep that blanket nice and clean and let her hang on to it as long as she wants to.

The thumb, I'm not sure of but it seems that I have seen many young children suck thumbs and as they get closer to school age, the habit goes away or just naturally lessens.

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A.T.

answers from Wilmington on

Hate to Tell you this but I am right there with Brenda! My son is 17 and I still catch him with thumb in mouth hugging his stuffed animal. I just hope he isn't married someday doing it! I wouldn't stress over it. She may be going through a stage where security is an issue. If it comforts her, so be it. You could have worse problems. And by making a huge deal out of it, just makes her want to do it more and may stress her more. She's what, 3 yrs old? Don't make her grow up so fast. She may still do it behind your back like mine so it may never end! Enjoy her and someday you can talk to her about it. It will be fine.

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S.S.

answers from Lexington on

the catalog, one step ahead, makes a plastic device that looks a little like a carpel tunnel brace. it is designed to stop thumb sucking. they also make one for finger sucking.

C.R.

answers from Charleston on

I'm so confused as to why so many people are against thumb sucking and pacifiers. I am a 41 year old mother to a wonderful little boy. I am a very hardworking wife to a great husband, a great cook, a good sister, a good aunt, a fun person to be with... I'm smart and very loving. I owned my own restaurant until I became a mom and wished to spend more time with my child than with the public. Why am I telling you all of this..? Well, I used a pacifier until my Mom threw it away when she was "fed up" and I resorted to sucking my thumb until I was ten years old. I never had to have braces and my teeth are fine. I am fine and no worse for having stuck my thumb in my mouth for so long. I have been asking lots of people why this is such an issue.... I'd love to hear why it bothers you.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Yeah I don't understand why people hate thumb sucking so much, is it because they are worried about buck teeth or because they think they will be picked on in school, I never sucked my thumb but my Sister did until she was 13 and my husband told me he was like 11 before he quit, neither of them done it in school just at home mostly when tired and neither of them needed braces. my eldest daughter sucked her thumb and a carried around her thumper teddy both of which gave her great comfort, Thumper is still with her 21years later and much the worse for wear (she doesn't sleep with him or anything)the thumb sucking she grew out of around the time she started school and her teeth are fine also. Now my Grandson sucked his 2 fingers from about age 1 - 2 1/2 years and then just stopped thankfully and i say that because they were in his mouth literally 24/7 and he was showing no signs of talking at all (later found out he has Autism) He is a blankie lover used to not go anywhere without it, now it mostly stays home when we go out.

Personally I think it does no harm and brings them alot of comfort. And I think they look so cute.

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M.B.

answers from Johnson City on

Don't worry about it. My daughter was the same and actually entered kindergarten sucking her thumb. There were a number of kids that were still doing it, mostly during story/rest time and when upset No one made fun or anything like that but over the school year and the next, they all stopped. And no one needed braces because they sucked their thumb that long.

A.D.

answers from Boston on

Some friends i know used to put socks on the girls hands at night time and then duct tape them on the wrists to secure them. During the day you can put THUM on the thumbs and it will make them think twice about putting it in the mouth. Maybe you could also reward her by painting her nails. Or paint her nails and then tell her that big girls have pretty nails and dont suck their fingers. Hope some of this helps!

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