Thoughts on Birthday Party

Hi V.,

There are two ways to handle this ....
1) Have her take cupcakes to school with plates and napkins to give a little party feel.

2) Invite people she and you know, it can still be fun. Then you don't need to worry about family, and people you do not know.

Go ahead with the party. What a great way to meet the parents of the children you are inviting. You can even invite the parents to stay.

I have been through this samething a couple of times in the last few years and I can tell you everything will work out just fine and not to stress yourself about it anymore.

My daughter took the birthday invitations to school and gave them out to the girls. On the invite I included my name, phone number, home address and a little note to the parents saying stating that we are having a Birthday party and my daughter would really like it if "Sara" could come by for a little while and play. I also said "please give me a call when you have a free minute so I can introduce myself properly and we can discuss the details of the party" "hope to hear from you soon".

EVERY SINGLE MOM CALLED ME! Every single child came to the party (and one mom). It worked out perfectly.

Having experienced this on the other end as well... When my daughter comes home with an invitation to a party she is soooo excited! Naturally, I will call and talk with the parents and when I drop her off I will go inside and introduce myself, leave a contact number with the parent (and with my child) just in case. I have never had a problem.

The kids will all talk about the party at school for days following the event! It is so much fun.

When you think about it, it is not any different than dropping your child off at daycare for the first time, girl scouts for the first time, or even a get together at the library. Relax and enjoy the party.. Your daughter sure will :)

This is your chance to get to know them :). Just invite the children and some parents will elect to stay and some will just drop their kids off. Also be prepared for some to come then not want to stay lol. My son went to one at 5 years old and refused to stay even with me there. So I left the gift and took him home, he just wasnt ready.

Hi V.,
I just had my son's birthday party last weekend and I put in the invite that parents are welcome to stay but they can also drop off. It was about 50/50. Some stayed and some dropped off. It was very nice and made everyone feel comfortable. Have fun.
Chris

V., First Family rule that WORKS, and seems fair to all children. For her 5th birthday, invite 5 children..., RSVP, so you get to speak to each parent, tell them they are welcome, but it is not necessary, also let them know it is at grama's house, why not? Wouldn't you want to know? pick a theme, makes it easier. Keep it simple hon, ask parents if there are any food allergies, just to be safe. Have fun! K.
(Mom of 5 grown, childcare provider for 30 years)

A birthday party is an excellent way for you to meet the parents. I don't think you need to do anything ahead of time. I DO think you need to invite the whole class OR all of the girls OR only 5 friends. Just don't be the parent who leaves anyone out. Have a good time.

I went throught this last year so I invited the parents to come along so we could get to kow each other while the kids played. The only thing is most classes wont let you bring the invitaions to school unless the entire class is invited, so I had my daughter hand them out after school on the bus,luckily all her friends were on the same bus.
Good luck!

When You drop Your daughter off at school, ask and observe the friends that your daughter are interested in and mention to those parents that your daughter talk about their kids at home and you are thinking about having a B-day party for your child and you were wondering if their child could attend. Then get the parents cell number or phone number and follow up and speak every time you see that parent. It worked for me and my son also is in Kindergarten but I did this when he was in pre-school last year. Trust me it will be ok.

Hi V.!

My son turned 4 last February and had his first party where he expressed an interest in inviting kids from his school/daycare. Since the kids have mailboxes there, I put a note in their mailboxes for the parents explaining why I wanted their addresses. One parent I already had met, but not the other (we told him 2 from school and then he had a few other children as well: kids of our friends that are the same age and a boy from church the he plays with - limited the umber to 6 kids). They both gave me the addresses that way. Maybe do something similar and send notes to school with your daughter to have her friends give to their parents. Otherwise, I am not sure howelse you would contact them and I would feel a little funny about having 5 year olds give out their address.

If you have the addresses already, it sounds like you might, I would just send the invitations and be sure to include your number for r.s.v.p. Then when they call you will get a chance to introduce yourself as well.

Have fun!!!!

If you already told your daughter she can have a couple of friends for a birthday party, you don't want to go back on your word. I think these days some parents are concerned about just dropping their kids at a birthday party at the home of someone they don't know. I don't blame them! You could include a note in the invitations saying the parents are welcome to stay and visit with eachother during the party. It could be a good time to make some new friends for you too! OR you could have a party at McDonalds or something similar (I wouldn't recommend Chucky Cheese...too much chaos) where they have a specific party room, activities for the little ones, it's short and sweet, and the parents can observe or have some lunch of their own outside the party room. I think you can take your own stuff if you were to be having a party theme like princess or Dora, bring your own cake plus you don't have the mess and craziness at your house. Keep it simple. I don't think the parents will feel wierd. I hope this helps. Have fun! Oh to be 5...

Good Morning,

Although I don't celebrate birthdays, I feel you should take the time to call the parents and get to know them before them or their children are invited over to your families for a party.

You can never be too cautious when it comes to the people we or our children deal with.

Hope everything works out!

I agree with the inviting of the parents also.Every parent will go through this when their child is a kindergartener.It's a good way to meet the other parents and its a great way for the kids to really get to know each other out side of school too.It's a big thing for the kids to be able to invite classmates it makes them feel special.I invited the whole class but where she went it was only half day AM at the time so there weren't alot of kids.But I did meet alot of parents.Good Luck and I hope everything turns out great.

Don't feel weird about it. See it as a chance to meet your daughter's friends and their parents. I have already been through this a couple times with my kid's b-day parties, and it works out just fine. Just remember not to take it personally if anyone RSVP's that they can not come. The parents will appreciate being given a stress free way to meet each other.

It's a great opportunity to meet the parents. Also, my son's Kindergarten had a "suggestion" that during the school year that the whole class be invited. This way the kids don't feel excluded.

Some choose to stay and some don't. I really liked it when parents stayed because that's a lot of children for you to manage.

The only thing that I would recommend is keeping it to an even number of children, total. Also it shouldn't be more than the age of the birthday child, they aren't really developed enough to handle more than that at a time, or so I think I read once. Make sure to have lots of games to play, the structure might be a life saver on your parents house. Bowling parties are great fun for the kids and you can take your own cake.

I agree with the previous comments, invite the parents to stay if they wish or can. However I had a situation where no parents stayed and just dropped of thier children. Be sure to have enough adults and don't assume that the parents will stay. Sometimes they have other children's commitments or some parents aren't as protective as myself and the moms who responded. Just wanted you to be aware of that chance as well. It is fun meeting your children's classmates and thier parents. Have Fun!

Dear V.,

Put yourself in the shoes of the other parents. Would you drop your child off at a house party without knowing the parents? Some would, some won't. At that age, most kids (not all) need their parents with them, and usually only 1 parent goes, not both. When they call to RSVP ask them if they would be staying so you can plan food accordingly, it is nice to have refreshments for the other parents. And a party for a 5 year old shouldn't be too long so you wouldn't need much. Don't fall into the trap of inviting too many kids. Ask the teacher which children she hangs out with the most, or ask your daughter.
I think it is strange that your mother insists on no family parties. What about Dad's family? How do they feel about being not included? Every family member doesn't want to get together to celebrate? Are they worried about presents? Many young children want to celebrate with the people they are closest to, which is usually family if they are close by. How do you and your husband feel about family parties? Forgive me if I misinterpreted or am speaking out of line, but your mother is living with you, not running your household. You and your husband get to decide how to celebrate your child's birthday, not her.

HI- I am glad to know there are others out there who share our feelings! Our daughters birthday is late Oct and we ran into the same trouble. Having a birthday party for the first time with school friends is very exciting for them. (My girls and their friends talk about it all year long!) We opted for a party with about 10 friends at the YMCA and took the girls swimming. I actually asked the parents to stay because of needing the extra hands for changing, but I would offer to have the parents stay anyway. Parents will appreciate the thought and then they can choose whether to stay or to go. At this age also, the kids are going to dictate whether the kids leave or not. Just a thought too, if you have any time to get into the classroom (I know you work) that is a great way to start getting to know some of these kids because with no doubt, there will be some you don't want to invite.

Just my thoughts after having been there myself. (Luckily, my 5 year old now is a June birthday so we have all year!!) Good luck

Put a note in with the invitation that invites the parents to either join you at the party or informs them that it is okay to drop their child off. I personally would not drop my child off if I did not know the parents and would be more likely to attend with my child if I knew I was "invited" so to speak.

I just gave a party for my 6yr old - at Chucky Cheese's - after barely surviving a two-hour party at home when he was 4 (it was the LOUDEST two hours in the history of our household!). We had the party on a weeknight when it's not so chaotic at CC's with 4 little friends. Parents were not explicitly invited but most came (so we ordered more pizza). The kids got to run around and play games in a supervised area while the parents chatted waiting for pizza. I took my own cake and party stuff and IT WAS GREAT!!!! No cleanup, no destroyed house, no contrived games that the kids didn't enjoy. Everyone had a relaxed time, there were plenty of chaperones and all the kids enjoyed it.
If the parents are uncomfortable with leaving their child with you, they can come and get to know you - a great opportunity to get involved with knowing who your child is hanging out with and what their background may be.

I've done friend parties for both of my kids for several years (10 yrs & 6yrs old). What I've found is that with the younger kids the parents tend to stay at the party so this is a great time to get to know them - and that way when the kids want to have a play date both parents will feel much more comfortable.
If you put an RSVP on the invitation the parents will call you and you'll have a chance to introduce yourself and let them know what you have in store for the party.
When a child turns five/start kindergarten/pre-school they meet lots of new friends and being invited or having parties is part of that experience.

When both of my daughters have been invited to parties with people I did not know I would just call to RSVP and ask if it was okay if I hung out at the party, I never had a parent say no! So I would think it would be okay to let her invite kids from her class and if the parents felt uncomfortable I am sure they would do the same thing