The Talk with My 10 Year Old Son.

Yes, Virginia - there IS a Santa Clause. I still believe! Watch "Miracle on 34th Street" - the old one with Natalie Wood and Maureen O'Hara. It's an annual event in our house.

As for "the talk"... keep it simple. I remember being totally grossed-out... granted it was a different time.

As a Christian the empahsis on love and marriage - respect for your partner - is a must. Unfortunately, the media has devalued this relationship. How you and your husband display respect and affection towards each other will speak lowder than any "talk".

J., I would like to add to all the other great responses you received. The best thing I learned about my grandfather is that he always corrected anyone that ever talked about women in any diminishing way. He always said that all women are ladies and that they deserved great respect. No matter what they did (my Grandma said they knew a few women on their street when they were in their 20s that had lost the husbands and had turned to prostitution). I really admire my grandfather for his true respect for women. I think one of the first lessons that a boy should have is how to talk about women and how to treat them - even around friends.

I found Oprah's episode on talking with your kids fascinating. Here's a link to the different things on her site: http://www.oprah.com/search.jsp?query=sex+talk&result...

'The Talk' should have started a long time ago in bits and pieces. Believe me, kids way younger than him know too much and they pass it on. The more info YOU give him, the less he will listen to THEM. If he trusts you to tell him the truth, then he will accept what you say. That may be difficult because of the Santa thing. We have always told our kids that Santa is not real, that he's just for fun. They know that we will tell them the truth, even when all of their friends are saying something different. My oldest had asked questions from about 4-years old. I have always answered truthfully, but age appropriate. We had the 'big' talk when she was 6. It is not taboo or dirty for her, just knowledge of the facts. When she has a question, she knows that she can come to us and get the real answers she needs. She does know that these are not things to discuss with her friends, both sex and Santa! Whether it is you or your husband or both of you together, you need to have the talk. He needs your trust and openness. The less you tell him, the more he will depend on others! Good luck!

Since you know that he is hearing things at school, I would begin by asking him if he has any questions about the things he is hearing.... you have the chance to discuss these things with your son and it is important that you do so.
This morning I was in a first-grade classroom at a public school and believe me some of those kids know things they shouldn't until they are in high school at least.
Your faith should tell you that your son needs to know the Christian take on such things, not what he hears on the bus or playground.
It is better that you have frank discussions with him in particular answering any questions he may have.
Tell him what he wants to know, with your take on what is appropriate and what is not.
For example, you should let him know that such things are private and talk about people or joking should be avoided.
Also, that it is very inappropriate to say things to girls etc.
It is a shame that children today are exposed to so much and are not allowed to be children to a degree, but we must let them know that in our families and homes such things are to be respected, talked about as needed and kept to ourselves.

There's nothing wrong with sex, it's people's reaction and treatment of it that's the issue. You can sit him down and ask him about the class he took, get him to talk to you about what the school told him. Fill in and adjust things as you see fit.

"Hey, Bud, I wanna talk to you about that health class you had a few weeks back. Tell me what you learned."

Listen to him and be kind, your treatment of this can definitely effect his views as an adult.

My parents never sat me down for a talk, I sorta wish they had. Now as an adult I've found that what I've decided for myself is very similar to my parent's view and it would have been nice to have known sooner. I also grew up in a Christian home.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

Approach from the perspective of how you want him to feel about. Tell him he will hear things about it from every angle but as Christians God sees sex as....... whatever your belief system is. You want to explain to him about the bad side and what acts are degrading and hurtful to men and women. How we treat women... Even though some girls allow guys to treat them badly that we still need to honor and cherish them by not treating them that way.

Regradless of your moral beliefs, kids are curious. He knows something and had to learn it from somewhere. So the talk is way over due. Our 4 year old asked us what sex was the other day. Now we carefully monitor him when he watches tv and could not figure out where he heard the word. Come to find out they were running an ad for certain little blue male pills during Saturday morning cartoons. (They always say to ask your doctor if you are healthy enoungh for S E X). We don't intend to encourage in appropriate behavior but pertending it does't exist and ignoring it are not the way to handle the situation either. So we had to find out in what context the word was used, where he heard it and give him an age appropriate answer.

Keep in mind that in some communities and inner cities that kids your son's age are already engaging in sexual behavior. I had to call the police last year because an eight year old girl was having sex with a nine year old boy on the slide on the playground across the street from my house.

So make sure you have the talk with your son in such a way as to incorporate you beliefs. Don't just assume your husband is going to do it. You do it or at least listen in or be present at the talk. Good Luck.