Terrified of Daycare 11Mth Old

It is perfectly normal for him to do this. It will get better as he gets older and understands you will be back. I would say hand him over and leave. It only makes the separation worse if you stay and hang around trying to soothe him or comfort him.

My daughter was a little older, but whenever I dropped her off, I'd look her n the eye and tell her "Mommy always comes back. I'll see you in a little while. Love you." Then I'd give her a hug and a kiss and leave without looking back. When I picked her up, I'd say, "See? Mommy always comes back!" and give her a big kiss and hug. If she'd played and had fun, I made a big deal about how happy I was that she'd had a good time, too. As she became more verbal, I'd say, "What do we know about mommy?" and het her be the one to say, "Mommy always comes back!" If she wasn't feeling like saying it, then I'd say it for her. It helped a lot with separation anxiety, and the caregivers were able to say the same thing to her to easer her anxiety if she cried for me ("What do we know about your mommy? Mommy always comes back!"). Sometimes she cried for a long time and sometimes for just a bit when I left. As long as you know that your son is safe and being well cared for, don't feel guilty about leaving for an hour or so. The less of an ordeal or negotiation that you can make leaving, the better. Make a quick, unemotional departure, but give him some words to let him know that you love him and will return.

How often are you taking him there? I'd take a step back to slow down personally. I'd go in there a few times with him and stay with him. Then I'd come back after I changed to play for like 5-10 minutes. Then I'd come back every 15 minutes or so, to reassure him that you're coming back. I'd only do the coming back repeatedly thing IF it's working. If it just makes him more distraught, obviously stop. When you're at home play lots of peek a boo and even say bye bye when you hide for peek a boo.

He's in the prime time developmentally for separation anxiety. So it depends how you want to deal with that. Personally, I give my son the attention he needs vs trying to build him up for complete independence. They're only this little once, so I cut them some slack.

I would suggest that maybe it's the daycare. I don't know yours, maybe you have an excellent daycare at your gym, but every gym daycare at every gym I have ever been a member in is pretty terrible. You usually have an underpaid hourly caregiver that changes often, not usually someone with any education in childcare and more often than not more interested in their cellphone than the kids they are supervising. I always think of these places as baby-kennels where your child will be kept safe, yes, but that's about it.
Imagine someone took you and dropped you off in a room with a stranger whose language you do not speak and left you there for an hour ... even an adult would find that pretty awful, even though you know and understand it's just for an hour - your baby has no concept of time at this point, for all he knows you have just abandoned him.

Now I am not saying you should never leave him with someone else, but if you need childcare while you are working out, get a sitter that your child can get to know.
My DD went to daycare from 8 months old and it is not unusual for kids that age to cry when dropped off, but if you have consistent quality care, they will get to know and trust their caregivers and it will be less of an issue.

Good luck

It's just a little separation anxiety, he will be ok. Just keep taking him, get your workout and know that it gets better with time. One day you will take him, drop him off and work out with no problem and you will be amazed. It will pass :)

It's totally normal... and it will take time for him to get used to it. Don't stress about it. It's only for an hour! Don't dwell when dropping him off, or give him excessive hugs/kisses or make a big fuss, your anxiety will pass on to him.

He is still too young to understand social play, but he can learn to entertain himself and play alongside other babies. The staff needs to just hold him and entertain him for now until he feels a little more comfortable. It's their job.

It took our son a couple of weeks to settle in and attach himself ro one or two od the staff. On the way there I tell him we are going to play with his friends ans Miss X. I Hans him to someone instead of putting him on thw ground. I started with about 45 minutes and thwn increased the time. He is almost 14 months now and will occasionally cry at drop off, buy I tell him bye and I will see him soon. Hw usually stops ans is ready to play within a couple od minutes.

Sounds normal to me. I'd go in with him until he's adjusted. For my daughter, it was 10-15 minutes, but got shorter each time, until she acted like it was weird that I didn't just drop her off. It took about 5 months to get to that. My boys never really went through that.

I wouldn't encourage distracting him and then sneaking out. I've worked with kids in many different settings, and the parents who do that make it very hard on themselves, their children, and the workers. Your child needs to trust you. You can get him involved, but be sure he knows you're leaving. He's going to realize you snuck out on him otherwise, and then he won't trust you. With my daughter, I just waited until she had been having fun for a while, and then called her name and said I was going to go now and I'd see her later. She just said bye, if anything at all. If nothing else, know that this is a stage, and this, too, shall pass.

My son did the same thing when we first started going to the gym. I got called out everytime and was so frustrated. I even cried myself one time b/c all I wanted to do was have a little time to myself to get healthy. The gym worked with me on a cry plan. They would let him cry it out for 20 minutes at first and then added 10 minutes each visit until finally he stopped all together. Now he just goes right in no problem. Hang in there it took a couple months if I remember correctly, but now it is well worth it! I have an older daughter that looks after him and I think that helped too. Hope he adjusts so you can have some great workouts!

I just went through this with my 2 year old...instead of using punch cards I finally officially joined the gym so I could use the child care. It took 2 weeks till my daughter felt comfortable. She cried each time I dropped her off. The sweet woman in charge just held her the whole time practically. I talked about this woman to her all the time at home...how nice she is...how she is our friend...and after my exercise class I would stay and talk to her. My daughter saw us being friends and maybe that helped? She really bonded to this woman...we ran into her at my son's school function not long after and my daughter ran up to her and gave her a hug. Also, I talked to my daughter about how important it is for mommy to work out and get strong so I can pick her up etc. My opinion is it took 2 weeks for my daughter to realize I am always coming back. It helped that she bonded to the main care giver there. All the people who work there seem very nice, but she wants nothing to do with them! How long have you been going to the gym? Also, I would go in with my daughter for 5 minutes at first and go help her find an interesting toy. There was one toy that she thought was very cool, so we would get it out of the cabinet and I'd sit down with her for a few minutes. I'd tell her when I was leaving that I would be back in an hour and if she felt sad she could go to "Miss Mary" and get hugs. I was very matter of fact about it.

Is this a new thing? If you have been dropping him off for several weeks or months and he is still crying then there may be an issue but if this is new and only been a week or two he simply needs the reassurance that mommy is coming back.
Play peek-a-boo with him. He needs to learn that Mommy can go away (under a blanket--around a corner) and come back.

You are not doing anything wrong. Babies do not come with an instruction manual. You are a new Mom and inexperienced.

OK, this may be off the wall but here goes: Is an hour long enough? Is it enough time for him to have his little melt down, get over it and then have some fun with the caregivers or whatever distractions are there? If it's only enough time for a melt down then that upset feeling is all he can associate with the daycare.

If nothing else seems to be working, try buying a small new toy. Don't let him see it until you're inside the day care. Let him be really happy with the toy for a few minutes then leave him with it. If you're gone long enough for him to melt down, recover and have a little fun then he can start to associate fun with the daycare.

And, yeah, this is totally, totally normal. He'll adjust.

he is a baby. he doesnt understand where you are and he is scared.. he doesnt know these strangers in this strange place. he will get over it when he is older and can talk and reason. he will not learn to play with others at this age. he is a baby. he will learn to play with others when he is 3 or 4 years old.

maybe have a sitter come to your house so he is in a familar setting

I would ask the gym sitters if they were willing to offer him a bottle, juice or a snack. If they are willing to offer him a snack, start with that. make it something special that is age appropriate, but that he will only get when he is with the sitters.