Terrible Two's and Taking off Diaper!!

Updated on May 18, 2011
E.M. asks from Mesa, AZ
10 answers

I have a twenty month old daughter who seems to run the house. Two other boys 5 and 15 and she is by far the most difficult. She seems to be interested in the potty but only sometimes. She takes off her clothes and diaper as soon as we get home and refuses to put on underwear or a diaper and just takes them off if we fight her to get them on. She keeps her hand on her “pee pee” all the time and we are worried she could get an infection. This has been going on for a few weeks now and I am struggling with potty training because she doesn’t seem to be ready. She will go sometimes but mostly goes all over the house which is frustrating and just likes putting toilet paper in the toilet when she does sit there over and over and over. She loves to take off her diaper AFTER she pees in it and AFTER she poops in it too! Has anyone been through this before? My son was easy to potty train although he was 3 ½ by the time it was all said and done. She is very stubborn and has the terrible twos like I have never seen!! She is manipulating me huh?? I swear I could have had two more boys compared to this crazy girl.  Okay, what do I do?

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Tape it on with packing tape or duct tape. Some kids are ready to potty train at this age (especially girls) and going diaperless is one of the best ways to teach it. BUT the fact she's peeing around the house makes it seem like she's not ready. I wouldn't allow having the diaper off be a choice for her to make. Duct tape it on if you have to. She'll probably be really angry at first, but she'll adjust.

She sounds similar to my daughter. She knows exactly what she wants and how she wants to do it and if she doesn't get her way she SCREAMS and is a little drama queen. My son was so easy compared to her. My other daughter was also much easier. Some kids are much more challenging than others! But be consistent. If you're not okay with it, then don't allow it. Try to approach it from a positive parenting point of view instead of punishments, as I find this ends up being a way that causes the least amount of upset. Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I remember using packing tape on our son's diapers to keep him from taking them off. He was also strong-willed. I would wait a bit on the potty training, since it sounds like she's really not ready.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

Use duct tape on her diaper and wait a few months to start potty training. I waited until my kids were 2 1/2 before starting potty training. She is young and doesn't sound ready yet.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

When you use the duct tape. Start it at the back of the diaper and end it at the back of the diaper, do not get it on her skin..

I do not think she is ready for potty training.

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A.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think it sounds like she's not really ready to potty train so you could make it "off limits" to her. It might actually help her potty train if you make it sound like you don't want her to! :o)
I'd buy some onsies and keep them on her ALL THE TIME... then she cant take her diaper off. (If she learns how to take the onsie off, safety pin it closed) We had to that with our son and it saved my from cleaning up a LOT of messes when he'd try to take off a dirty diaper!
Good luck! She sounds as ornery as my 2 year old son! :oP

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I second the duct tape. Another trick that works for us is to put on the one piece zip up pajamas, but turn them inside out. My 2.5 year old twins LOVE to play in their diaper and make messes. We just keep them in the pjs all day long.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

I know some kids potty train at that age, but I can't imagine even considering that possibility. I would definitely wait until she's more mature to consider that.

Can you find some clothes for her that she cannot take off? Overalls or something? Right now, I would want to nip this in the bud. I would find clothes that she cannot take off, and I would not let her take off her clothes or diaper.

I think she's probably testing her boundaries. She needs to know that you are in charge, not her. She doesn't need to be punished, just reminded that it's important to wear clothes and we don't run around naked. I'm not saying that running around naked is bad, but it's not good for her.

Hang in there! Every kid is different, right? You just have to find what works for her.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

"I am struggling with potty training because she doesn’t seem to be ready."
Exactly. She is not ready. Once potty training becomes a battle, you have already lost. So save yourself the struggles and stress and stop trying for now. Use the suggestions here to keep her clothes on, stop talking about the potty and wait until you know she is ready.

It's one thing to ramp up the training/learning process and see her take over more of it. But you need to take it all back a few notches and later introduce some books, ideas and discussion.

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F.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you're already half-way to having your daughter potty trained. If she's taking her diaper off after she's pooped or peed in it, then she recognizes the sensations of being wet/dirty and doesn't like it. Now the key is to start helping her to recognize the sensation of needing to pee or poop, that way you can get her to the potty quickly. My twin boys are almost 18 months old and they definitely know when they are in the process of peeing/pooping. Sometimes they'll tell me with sign language that they are pooping or have a poopy diaper. I see this as a major plus!

As far as whether or not your daughter is "manipulating" you, she's doing what every child does to some degree. She's teaching you how to meet her needs. I'm not saying you should give in to all of her demands, but she needs to know that you at least hear and understand what she's telling you. For example, my kids LOVE playing outside. Obviously, living in Arizona, they can't spend all day outside in the heat and the sun. I respond to their requests/pleading/demands to go outside in the middle of the day by telling them that I understand they want to go outside and that we'll go outside after dinner, but it's too hot outside right now.

It sounds like your little girl wants more say over what happens to her body. Some things are non-negotiable (cutting fingernails, washing, changing dirty diapers, etc.), but she should be able to decide if she wants to wear the blue shirt or the yellow shirt, for example. And realize that she's just begun to discover that touching herself feels good. That's healthy, normal sexual development. So rather than trying to prevent her from touching herself, you need to teach her that there are appropriate times to explore those sensations, like in the bathtub.

Good luck! It sounds like you have a spirited little girl. What a challenge! And what a gift!

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Potty train her and be done with it. You need to make sure she gets to the potty on time. Kids are not born knowing how to use the potty, so it's up to you to teach her and be consistent with getting her there. She's willing to sit on the potty, and she's making that effort - so help her do it right! The way I did it was to have my girls run around naked from the waist down. Every 10-20 minutes I'd have them sit on the potty. If I noticed any signs that they even *might* have to go potty, I'd run them to the potty. If they peed on the floor, I would clean it up without making a big fuss, and would say, "Next time you'll make it to the potty." And then I'd make sure they did. Yes, it requires an exhausting amount of effort, but for both of my girls, they were potty trained in under 3 days. They did cry at first and ask for their diapers, but I just made it clear that they wouldn't be using diapers anymore.

I think if you have a child who is consistently showing you she wants to sit on the potty and doesn't want a diaper on, to tape a diaper on her and force her to pee/poop on herself is just degrading to her. Help the kid out!

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