Teenage Girl

Hello,
I'm 23 yrs old I went trough my teenage years not to long ago. With all respect I think you should record her conversations!
That way you will know what's going on. School problems and boyfriend issues are most likely to be talked to a friend instead of the parent sometimes.(Unfortunately) Prove to her whose in control and that she can not fool you by lying. Don't tell her about the recording! It happen to me! My brother is a Police Officer... I tried to fool him once and never tried it again. As far as school is concern.. Have a better communication with the teacher's.. School Patrol Officer will defently help. You don't know what's going on in school but at least you know school faculty have a look on her and will update you at times in regarding friends and grades ect..
You are not being over protective!!!

I had to laugh when you asked if it's normal for girls to talk so much and so long on the phone. That's the same question my dad used to ask about me!! It is very normal for teenage girls to spend hours on the phone if you let them.

Just remember that we teach people how to treat us. If you let her be mouthy with you, she will continue to do it. If the punishments are not a high enough price for her, up the antey. Find a tougher punishment. My daughter, when she was 16, could be so hateful. I warned her a couple of times that I would not stand for it. She was grounded from a sleepover or a party, but that didn't seem to make an impression. So, I upped the antey and took her car keys the next time it happened. I told her it was up to her to find a ride to and from school, since I had to be at work earlier and later than her start and finish times. Believe me, it made an impression. All of a sudden she found her "nice voice".

I always felt that children were brought into my life to add to it, not take away from it and be miserable. I never forgot who was the parent and who was the child. Many parents do and it pains me. B. - Arlington, TX

I have a 15 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. Although it's not pleasant what you are going through with your 13 year old, you have to stay consistent in your discipline. Also, when she does do what is asked, even if it's with a reminder, don't forget to tell her she did a good job. Too much these day's we focus on the negative and forget to give praise. Also reward her with extra phone time for doing chores without being asked, or having a good day or week at school. As for talking forever on the phone with her friends - yes it's normal. They can talk for hours about nothing. They are bonding and learning social skills. My son isn't dating, and we do not encourage it. He has s that are friends. However, most of his friends have had "girlfriends" since they were 12. All this is normal, but she is on the edge of rebellion. The tighter you squeeze, the more she's going to rebell. Pick your battles wisely. I'm 38 and things are much tougher these days even when I was young. Our kids need to know they can come to us about anything, but we are not their friends. We have their best interest at heart. I raise my kids to love the Lord first and we stay active in church and I take my son to Christian rock concerts (some great hard rock bands out there - not just gospel anymore). Last weekend I hosted a youth weekend called Discipleship Now and had 6 - 9th grade boys at my house all weekend and we had a blast. Try to get to know her friends if at possible and make your home the one they would all want to come hang out at. That way you have more control over what's going on. Good luck and many blessings!

Wow it sounds like you have your hands full. First, let me tell you that I am not a mother to a teenage girl, but I do have children and I have two teenage brothers. I think it sounds like your daughter is testing her boundaries and maybe she thinks that she can get away with it because she is the baby. As far as making her help around the house and helping you keep the house clean, if you don't tell her she won't do it. I say lay it on the line. Tell her what you expect of her at home, at school, and with her attitude. Then tell her her consequences when she doesn't do them (taking her phone away, computer priveleges, taking texting off of her phone, etc.) I know it's tough because she thinks she knows everything and I promise you when she gets older she'll see why you cared so much. It's great that her dad supports you and her as well. I hope this helps a little. Good luck!

Private school should not be a punishment but viewed as an investment. Stay involved with friends and teachers. Get her involved in a fun spirit filled youth group at church. Does she have interest in any sports? Tell her when she does something good. Be careful not to critize - example calling her lazy. This is a hard age, but God can get you both thru it!!

I'm 26 and I definately remember being 13! I know a lot has changed, but I remember what worked for me and what didn't. At 13 I was very interested in boys and had boyfriends and all that. I wouldn't start getting worried unless she starts getting serious about one in particular. Now is the time to really start talking about sex b/c I've seen reports about girls starting at 9 or 10 now. As hard as it can be for you, you really have to get into the reasons for why you believe what you do (concerning safe sex or no sex, when you're ready, etc.) My parents really never talked to me and all they do at schools is teach you how to use a condom, etc. I lost my virginity at 15(!!) and I think I would have waited if someone had had a real conversation about it with me.
About chores-- YES! I had to learn how to cook, do dishes, laundry, all that, after I moved out b/c I didn't have chores. I wish I did now!! I would make her start doing her own laundry in a yr or so (unless you think she's ready now) b/c that's something she HAS to do without being reminded or she won't have anything to wear, and she can't just go out and by something new! Also, start telling her that if she doesn't do her homework and chores w/o you staying on her then you'll take away something for every day it isn't done. Like phone, tv, music, and other priveledges. I've also heard of families having a "cussing jar" or whatever. If someone says a bad word, they put $1 into it. If she gets an allowance or something, you could have her do something like that every time she talks back. Kids accosiate their own money with independence and I would have gladly given up the phone/ computer/ tv/ whatever, but if my parents hd asked me to pay them?? I would have learned to keep my mouth shut.
Another option is talking to your 22 y/o. They'll probably remember quirks about your parenting style and (hopefully) know your daughter well enough to know what might work. Just remember that you can probably learn to work together (and ignore eachother the rest of the time) to a degree, but 13 isn't easy and you'll probably still want to tape her to a chair with her mouth shut a lot of the time!!
I hope this helps!! Let me know if there's anything else I can offer! Good luck!!!

I have 2 teenager girls at home. One is my biological daughter and a foster daughter. They are 9 months apart. They both are good students, have a boyfriends (both are going far if they continue their path. My foster daughter stays on punishment this year alone she has had a fight, sent to alternative school for 30 days, suspended from school for cursing a teacher, received 3 tickets from school, failed at least 2 class per 6 weeks, sent home from school because she was about to in another fight, and skips classes. I have taken everything away from her that you can tv, cell phone, house phone, free time, computer time, and no company. She has been caught on the house phone which adds to her punishment. She is smart but does not want to be a nerd. I tell her that for the kids graduating after May 2010, they will need 28 credits to graduate. That is every class every year. She was passing at the alternative school. My daughter asked her did she want to stay on punishment.

What worked with my daughter was that if you take her cell phone and her computer time. I also have a schedule in my house of what time choirs are to be completed, 9pm. I made it 9pm because they could be finished with their homework and ate dinner. I even have an alarm on my cell phone that goes off at 9pm.

Ask her if she would like someone to talk to you like she does. If she says no then ask why do she do it. That made her really think about what she did. She went on her own and apologized to the teacher.

Both my kids have myspace pages I have the passwords and I sit there sometimes and watch what they are going. I do not allow curse words and nasty songs on their page. Every friend they have I know and have meet via phone or personally. I limit the photos and information about themselves. i go in their rooms and their bathroom. Anything is fair game in my house. I had some friends of my nieces live with me and they were 16 and left the diary out we had a family meeting and 2 weeks later everyone was on birth control. It would have been sooner but that was the first date the doctor had an opening. 9pm is also the time they take their birth control.

I can't wait till see the responses to your "plea". I have a 9 year old daughter, and I have heard the "horror" stories of what I will have to deal with when she becomes a teenager.