My 14 year old step son will be a Freshman this year. I'm curious what time he should be getting to bed? He will be getting up around 6:15am for school every morning. I have a time in my head but am curious to hear what other mom's think.
Thanks!
N.
Thanks everyone for the responses! Last night at dinner my husband and I had this discussion with my step-son and agreed that he could choose his own bedtime as long as he didn't whine and complain about being tired the next morning, was able to get up and ready for school on his own and his school work didn't suffer because of it. Today was the first day of school and he went to bed (to his room anyway) around 10pm and this morning he didn't have any problems. We'll see how this goes. Thanks everyone!
when he's tired. :)
I go to bed long before my big kids. They start putting themselves to bed earlier if they cant function in the morning.
Is he a morning person? I have a 13 yo. daughter and she's a nightowl. She likes to read and will stay up late, but not an early riser. However, she will get up if awaken with not much problem. We tried having her in bed by 10:30-11pm last school term as wake up time was 6:30-6:45am. I also have a 10 yo son who is a morning person. I plan to have him in bed by 9:30 as that time worked for him last year.
he's getting to an age when enforcing a bedtime on him like a baby will not fly so well. teenagers are adults in training. have frank discussions with him about studies on sleep deprivation, and him becoming self-aware enough to recognize when he's not functioning well due to lack of sleep. let him be the one to decide when he should go to bed. teenagers are remarkably mature and sensible when we trust them to be.
khairete
S. (whose ideal time would be 9 but bets the teen's is later)
Our rule(s) of thumb are: 1) you can't miss school or be grumpy and 2) you can't keep anyone else awake. They have to get up at 5/5:30 to be to practice by 6--believe me, they don't stay up too much past 10 p.m.
When my daughter was that age we had a rule that she couldn't be on the phone or computer after 9:00....she could read, get her stuff ready for school, watch t.v., listen to music, etc.....but downtime is important......she typically was in bed at 10:00 but we let her choose her bedtime for the most part.
Mine is also 14. We established with him that he can determine his bedtime so long as (1) he gets up when he's supposed to (2) he can function all day and (3) he's not a pain in the butt because he's cranky from not sleeping enough. If he doesn't choose responsibly, then we get to pick his bedtime.
It really all depends on the child's needs, if he needs 8 hours then 10 would be okay, more then you adjust. My 16 year old goes to bed about 11-12 midnight and gets up at 7, it works well for us. Take a clue from your child, you may have to start out with 1 time and change it due to the need for more or less sleep.
I agree with all of the people that say, let your son set his bedtime, with the rule, he has to get up and go to school and be able to function.. and No whining in the mornings..
He will learn very quickly what he can handle and what he cannot handle.
They say teens need at least 9-10 hours of sleep. Good luck.
S.
I just had this discussion with my son.. he will be in soccer after school most days.. then homework.. and a little free time.. dinner... so i told him 10:30 the lastest!!! i think it's a little to late.. but i know in 8th grade it ended up being about that time and sometimes later with the amt of homework he had... i would prefer 10 as my son needs his sleep... i'm hoping for 10... but no later than 1030 my daughter is the opposite.. she can stay up really late and still do excellent in the morning.. but i just told her 10 also... she wil be going into 6th grade... she goes to bed late all the time.. she doesn't get tired.. she said she will lie down around 930 and read..and then lights off 10.. good luck.... it's scarey that our kids are entering 9th grade.. where did the time go :)
I've got a freshman also and she is doing what her older brother did. She usually goes to bed about 10pm or so and wakes up at 6am. Some nights she stays up later-soccer practice isn't even over two nights a week until 9:30pm. But two or three times a week she will come home and pass out on the couch in the game room for a good two hour nap. This seems to satisfy her sleep requirements, enable her to stay up late if she needs to and keep the mornings fairly peaceful. Now if I suggested a nap, it would never happen. But she is the only child home at 2:30pm, so the house is usually pretty quiet, and out she goes.
I even heard her joking with a friend that "sleeping in" is now 8am rather than noon like last year. Those early morning high school hours are real eye openers!
I say let him figure it out. If he is tired in the mornings, remind him that he can set his bedtime but no grumpiness is allowed. The first few days will go well. The kids are excited to be back at school so they wake up easily. The second week is hard no matter what time they go to bed. Don't be too quick to say "This isn't working." Give him until the third week of school to adjust to a new routine and see if he can figure it out on his own.
Good luck.
