Teaching Middle School

Taught middle school for many years. Let them make up their own "classroom" rules and their consequences. It is such a crazy hormonal age. Giving them some "power" is magic. And they will come up with great rules and wonderful consequences. Could even be built in as a great lesson in self-discipline and such regarding religious beliefs.
Just an idea,
R.

My daughter is on the young end of teenager.

BUT - she came home BEAMING because the teacher TOOK HER SUGGESTION SERIOUSLY.

So, I would say let them have input. She was ecstatic because he was talking about the field trip to the Museum of Science and Industry and she said that they go there every year and this year in science they are studying constellations and could they please go to Adler Planetarium because it fit better with the plan (I would have jumped up and down if she could have uttered curriculum, but I take what I can get!!!!!!).

He said - I see your point. Let me see what I can do. I'm not sure if I can change it, but it makes sense that we would go where we are studying.

She said to me "even if we don't go there.... Mom, he LISTENED to me and will think about what I said".

I think this age is all about that. so, do that where you can.

Good Luck.

I have worked in Middle Schools in some capacity for over ten years now, as an aide, as a substitute. I keep winding back up there. They are tough to be sure, and lots of people refuse/do not want to work with these kids because they are defiant. But I have learned to pick and choose the battles, and to realize to us it is chaos, to them it is their charging hormones as they grow and their sudden realization they are social creatures. There are the few who do this on purpose but if you realize they are just babies in bigger bodies you will come to understand that they can be fun. We are so worried about setting limits and following through that it creates our own perspiration. Your defiant and mean girl? She is very insecure and is trying to impress everyone. You have a number of other kids who can learn from you, so in your mind put her on the back burner. She does need attention but not necessarily from you. You can't do for her what she needs in other ways, you are not her parent just a person to guide her. I used to try to talk with these children. There are some who will and some who won't. But then some years later I was heartily glad to be told by a former student that she realized she had caused me heartache and she was sorry. I was shocked. If you need a set of rules the best I can tell you is that you are very clear about what will happen, and what the consequences will be and follow through. Such as if you do this while I am teaching you you will not be able to join us at our pumpkin celebration (or whatever). Or you can tally how many outburst there are and say that if there are three for example -they will not join the group for apple cider on Wednesday. Giving them chances help. Well, at that you could also let someone else do it and relax that night. Nah, sounds like you are a truly wonderful person to do this. Good luck!

HAve a "heavy".
My husband is one of the "heavies" in our middle school church group. He is there just to sit next to the rowdy ones. Our daughter is one of the very quiet ones though. Each middle school dad has one week to babysit while the very petite leader runs the show
Let them make their own rules and consequences, like Regina said
Have a carrot, a promise of a party on a certain day that you will take away. Pizza and soda.
Have a prize for the ones who bring their Bible each week at the end.
Let them pick the books they will study, if that is allowed.
have candy, it still works
Dont' be afraid to have one or two of them leave.
And the one who is being mean, talk to her parents or the youth leader.

And you are not an 8th grade teacher, so having another adult in there is better for all.

When I taught religious ed at our church I used to divide them into teams and play "CCD Trivia" some weeks. We'd spend about a third of the class reviewing some material, then I'd divide them into 2 teams and ask questions for the team to answer -- sort of like Family Feud or Trivial Pursuit. We'd keep score, sometimes I'd toss out Skittles for correct answers -- basically, they got competitive, had fun, corrected and supported each other and, along the way, learned about parts of the Mass and tenets of our Catholic faith. Got a little loud sometimes, but at least it was energy directed in a positive way.

Middle school is about as tough as it gets. Hang in. Think of it as swimming a rip tide. You can't fight it, but if you swim across & with it, you can eventually find your way through it. Try & roll with it and direct the energy -- yeah, sometimes easier said than done, but when you nail it, they're a blast (really!).

Group punishment is very appropriate at this age. The other kids can pressure the mean/defiant girl to keep in check because they won't want to get in trouble.

Ditto to the making up rules/consequences idea. I did it during student teaching with some freshman and it worked well. That, combined with the group punishment helped.

Talk to your RE leader and ask for help. I have been teaching RE for about 7 years (from 3rd grade up to high school this year). I have had a few problems over the years and found the leaders very helpful and willing to step in and take are of discipline problems. You should not have to deal with this on your own.

One thing that usually worked for me was giving the kids options based on their behavior. If everyone behaved, we would have a more fun, interactive class. If they could not behave, we would just read what we were supposed to cover for the week.

Good luck and God Bless you for taking your time to lead and teach our children.

Our UU church has a rule that all classes are taught by two adults, or an adult and a teen. It a matter of safety--for both the kids and the adults. I also agree you should talk to your DRE about the situation and ask for advice. Sheila has great advice about how to deal with this age group, listen to her :)