Tantrums and Head Banging

My nephew did this when he was angry or upset. He did grow out of it. You should probably call your doctor to let him/her know what's going on. They will probably tell you it's a phase but it doesn't hurt. It might help just to hear it from them. When you say ignoring it didn't work, what do you mean? Were you unable to ignore it or you did ignore it and it didn't work? The reason I ask is that you really need to minimize it and step out of the room if you can (as long as he is safe). If they know that it's bothering you at all, it's getting attention. I would very calmly tell him it is unacceptable behavior and that you will talk to him when he is ready...then walk away and don't look back (at least when he can see you). Of course, you always want to make sure he can't hurt himself but my nephew never did...he'd bang his head, and after awhile he'd stop. My son did it for awhile too but not as much as my nephew. I can imagine it is very difficult to ignore but I'm sure he'll grow out of it. For your sake, I hope it's soon.

My son went through this at that age too. He is 23 months now & rarely does it anymore - just like someone else said - only when he is really tired or being particularly strong-willed about something. He does it - maybe - once a month or so.

The only thing that worked was ignoring them AND you have to remember that it doesn't work immediately - you have to keep ignoring it every time. If my son was doing it in a dangerous spot, I moved him to the middle of the living room or somewhere else pretty cushy & safe (off of the hardwood floors) & let him just throw his tantrum. They eventually got shorter & shorter & then disappeared. It was NOT overnight, though! It took a couple of weeks! There were times, though, that I thought the tantrum would last FOREVER!! It felt like it, but they didn't. Ignoring the tantrum was the only thing that worked, though, because he was too little to reason.

Also watch for the tantrum triggers - does it happen when he is over-tired? Does it happen when he is too hungry? Try to find out the triggers & avoid them.

I have always read to pick them up and hold them and tell them its okay. They scare themselves when they get so out of control and holding them helps them get back to themselves. It also helps protect them from potential harm. My kids are big too and I know it can be hard and very scarry. My boy got really mad when I removed him from his highchair to change a stinky and I ended up with poop EVERYWHERE! Next time I'll wait until after he eats no matter how bad he stinks ; )

You are not alone in this...when I read your message I could not believe that somebody is going through the same thing as we do...I have the same problem...head banging and kicking.screaming whenever we do not act as he wants or fast enough..do not know what to do about it eaither.Juts wanted to let you know you are not alone.I completelly feel with you.

S.,
My son did this around that age & he is now 2 years old & only does maybe 1x a month (usually when super tired or hungry & Daddy is around). When he started doing this I was pregnant & did not have the time or patience to deal, so I would let him have his moment but I would leave the room. It worked- he would stop in less time, since there was no audience. Of course my husband did not agree with this method as he was convinced our son would bang his head or fall too hard. So far no concushions & as I mentione he rarely does it now. I notice it stopped, but then came back when the baby was born. He would then bang his head on my lap or the baby (again I just ignored him, got up & left the room). For Ben, he did it out of frustration with not being able to talk/having no independance/terrible twos (these can start around 16 months). Remember this phase should pass & the next will be just as much fun. Good luck, S.

Check out this message board. It's all about head banging:

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/worries/headbanging.html

You are NOT alone! =)