My, very laid back, toddler has become a disaster when it comes to getting dressed lately. Typically if we are going somewhere I can get him dressed drama free by talking about where we are going. The issue is getting him dressed for bed, it has been a nightmare. He is having 20 minute tantrums and fighting me the ENTIRE time I attempt to get him dressed. I feel like I am doing all I can but any other advice is welcomed. What I have been doing is: letting him choose his pajamas, allowing him "naked" time prior to bed time, counting down to when I will get him dressed such as in 10 min, 5 min, 2 min etc. While I dress him I try to sing, ask him to help, and give him something to manipulate with his hands. NONE Of THIS IS WORKING!! After the drama I put him right to bed because he doesn't calm down until he gets in the crib. I feel awful afterwards, almost like when you have a shouting match with your spouse. I am not sure why I feel so awful because I am using the good parenting techniques and not yelling or hitting, although it crosses my mind!! My only thought is to start the process earlier because maybe he just so tired by the time I start. Anyway ANY advice would be appreciated!!!!
I agree with Michelle. I have 3 children and they just having a power struggle with you.I think you mean good but to many countdowns.Some things just need to be done,like brushing teeth and so on.They always test you.The best thing for me is, keep dressing and stay as calm as possible.Good luck
Marion
Been there done that. Do you have a bed time routine? We would start with a bath (you have to put jammies on after a bath) then of course a bed time snack that is really yummy and very motivating! We would eat the snack in a fun place(on a bunch of pillows in a corner) as we read a book and sang songs(make it fun and relaxing). Then it was time for teeth brushing and bed. If there was any fussing about the jammies then no snack or book or song. It only takes a few times for them to discover what great fun they are missing by pitching this fit. You have to be consistent so that he can predict every time how you will handle it. Good luck!
I think you've gotten some good advice from other moms other than the hitting. Of course children always will test their boundries but teaching them violence if they don't get dressed is ridiculous. Yes, children need to do as they are told and know that you mean what you say by staying firm. Maybe he will get dressed by himself with help afterward straitening.
Yep...never a dull moment with a toddler...
My toddler went thru a phase like that. I just kept my poker face and didn't show any reaction. After some time she got tired of fighting and realized it was no use.
She also had a phase where she'd throw a huge tantrum when it was bedtime. I would just go about our bedtime routine (even if it meant holding her down while brushing her teeth) and after 3 weeks, she finally stopped throwing tantrums.
Even now, my toddler hates getting her shirt off in the mornings. So I've taken to putting her to bed with the shirt on that she would wear the next day, so there is no hassle of trying to yank off her shirt.
So this is a common thing toddlers do...Don't give him an audience, be stoic, keep being persistent in dressing him, and it will pass.
yup. around same age, same thing. What seems to work for us is "do you want to put on your shirt or do you want mommy to help?"
and he ALWAYS says "mommy" and i'm amazed he lets me do it!
My son (2 1/2) went through this phase for a short time. What worked for me was giving him some control with choosing what he was wearing - which I know you've done. Maybe if he fights you, you can just let him "try" to do it himself. He may be trying to establish some independence. Stand by and let him struggle with trying. I doubt he'll be able to do it on his own 100% at this point. Be there when he gets frustrated and will finally want your help.
My son now does NOT want to take off his jammies in the morning and will go from a great mood to a crabster as soon as we have to take off the dinosaur jammies.
Oh, the fun of a toddler. Never a dull moment. ;)
T.
Your not alone, my 3 yr old is a nightmare when we get dressed in the mornings. She hates to take her jammies off. She is very particular and what she likes to wear. I think it is an independence thing. I agree with the one post that said dont give him an audience. When he is throwing a fit, leave the room dont pay him attention. Come back when he is done. I have found if I am more relaxed then so is she.
You are doing a great job. My dear sweet little girl did this to me too at that age. My only suggestion is to use a timer instead of telling him two minutes, because he has no clue what two minutes are. I used a regular old kitchen timer all the time, at the park, zoo, bedtime and so on. Just be clear with him that once that timer goes off it is time to clean up and get his pj's on. You will have to be firm. If he begins having his fit, don't fight him. Put him in a safe place (I used a little area rug that wasn't near any furniture) and walk away don't give him an audience. Not exactly a time out, but a cool down. And then get him dressed. Don't worry this too shall pass. Good luck!
Hi J.,
My 21-month-old just started doing the same thing. I wonder if it's developmental?
I just keep going until he's dressed and then he's usually find once it's done.
Best of luck!!!
M.
That happenned a couple days last week! Turns out when I examined the days, her naps where shorter so she was more tired!
Maybe start earlier! I too give my daughter naked time, but it's like 2-5 mins. Because all the running around before bed just wires them up.
I would be insane too if I had to give my kids a countdown. I think he may be to young to understand reverse counting.
I would try to start earlier and cut down on the naked time. Of course he is going to be mad that you are cramping his toddler time, but after a couple days he'll get used to it.
PS maybe reread the Happiest Baby on the Block while you unwind from this. Good Luck!
