Talking Benchmark - Should I Be Concerend?

Really, don't worry about it. My oldest was that way. She spoke as little as possible and absolutely refused to repeat things after me. I wasn't concerned because all of her other motor skills were fine so I knew she wasn't delayed and I could also tell she understood me when I talked to her. She finally began talking at 3 years old. I believe they'll talk when they really have something to say! :)

My son was never much of a talker, more of a thinker still to this day ,but oh so wise when he speaks!

Play the game backwards, ask her what is that? Point at dogs, ducks, airplanes,cookies, you got it.

By the time they are age 2, they should be talking a lot. It might be time for a screening. Most ESD's or Headstart's provide free screenings. Also, you local school district will provide screenings but you must request assistance. Happy Parenting!

D. J

If she seems happy, healthy and able to find her own way to communicate I wouldn't worry too much about it yet. Give her a few more months to speak up. My son spoke lots and eraly, my daughter took her time. I think she wanted to be able to make the words clearer before she started really talking. I think it was about 2-1/2 before she really started going and now at almost 4 she can be a downright chatter box. Just keep talking to your daughter and she will likely pick things up. You can always talk to your doctor if you are too worried, but every kid has their own time table and what you read about it always isn't right.

Hi A.-

My son was the same way. At 2 years old, he wasn't really talking at all - maybe 4 or 5 words. He could communicate perfectly, just not with words. (Lots of charades and sign language!) We had him evaluated by Early Intervention, which he qualified for, so he started speech therapy. Now a year later, he carries on entire conversations. I think speech therapy helped - his therapist gave us a lot of helpful tips and ways to work with him - but I also think he would have gotten to the point he's at now on his own.

I would check with your pediatrican. As long as your daughter is healthy and happy, your doc may not be concerned. She may just be a slow-to-go talker. Give her time and she'll have plenty to say. :)

Hi A.,

I'm a SAHM of four. I've worked in between my kids and am a licensed claims adjuster, owned several businesses, etc. My children range in age from 5-20. Each has talked at different ages and my youngest didn't talk until she was almost 3. She was, and has continued to be, a great observer. She is now 5 and doesn't stop talking. Don't worry yourself. If your daughter has a lot of friends, and especially friends who are older, she is just taking her time and observing. Just continue to let her go at her own pace and use your energy to read to her and play with her. Don't waste a second worrying, she is not behind in the slightest. Each person/child hits milestones at their own pace. My first child walked at 8 months. My last two walked at 12 months. My first child needed a lot of extra help to read, and my third was reading the newspaper & magazines by the time he was 3 1/2.

Take care,

D. P.

All children are different and I wouldn't worry about it. I have two sons and the older one wasn't a big talker at 2 years. At 20 years he's still a man of few words.
My other son was talking full complete sentences at the same age and still can talk your ear off when arguments are in full swing.
What can you do? Just make conversations at meal time, in the grocery store, in the car, etc... with your child and encourage conversation but don't push it. I don't think the fact that you're not a big talker is the problem. I'm just telling you ways to encourage him to speak more.
I don't think it sounds serious, he might just be too busy doing other things to stop and chat.

It sounds like you are still looking for "something" to compare your daughter too. (The last sentence is shouting desperation.)
Stop looking for a "norm" and just start appreciating what your daughter does do well right now. She'll figure it out. I do see how difficult it is to see that she's going to be all right when you don't have any more children of your own for a better comparison. Let me explain:

My oldest daughter had a similar experience when she was younger. Being the first, I had thought that she would be quick to pick up verbal communication. She was't. I too began panicking. When she was about 3 1/2 years old she stjill didn't talk very well. She would still still grunt, cry or point for what she wanted. I was beside myself. I was already picturing what Kindergarten was going to be like. AAAAHHHHH!!!! I took her to audiologists, speech therapists, anybody who I thought could "help". But it just made it worse for me, because there wasn't anything wrong with her that therapy or medication would help with. However, she did finally start communicating better.
Eight years later I finally had another baby. And my oldest daughter grew up over night! When it was time for my new baby to begin talking I felt than same anxiety all over again. But it quickly faded, she had become a wiz at verbal communication, and at such a young age. She had to keep up with her older sister after all. (Secretly I thought I had a genius on my hands, but I am realizing I just have a smart-alec! LOL)
So it turns out the oldest child is slower with verbal communication than any of the other children in a family. With the oldest or first child parents tend to cue into the child's non-verbal languages. Think of the way an infant communicates. Parents don't know exactly what their babies may be saying, but they do. This can continue on into toddler and pre-school aged children when they are the only child. If there is nothing to motivate the child to express themselves verbally then they will continue to communicate the way that is most comfortable to them. Regardless they are communicating whether it is verbal or non-verbal. Practicing speaking with your child by naming various objects and then making 2 or 3 word sentences is a good way to boost vocabulary and confidence in verbal communication. Or parroting back what your child says- or doesn't say- to you is also helpful to increase verbal communication.
Just stop and really look at your child and begin to understand what they as a child need and what will work for them. It's difficult when there are so many publications out demanding that children reach certain milestones by certain ages. Children shouldn't be put into a general classification of what's best and to be expected for them. It's your child! Most of the time what you think is "right" for them is what they are needing. Just take a second and check in with your inner common sense. It can be different for every child.

I put off speech therapy for my son when he was two. I could tell what he wanted, I didn't have any problems with the way he communicated. He was almost 3 before I made the call and the results have been fantastic. Start by calling your county DSHS Infant-Toddler division. They are there to help you with your child development for kids under 3. They come, talk to you about your little one, and if they find the scores to be applicable, bring you a therapist (literally treatment is AT your HOME). If your insurance won't cover it, they will. My experience was great and my son is doing so well. Not to mention, there is nothing wrong with them coming out and meeting you and telling you she doesn't need it!

I'd ask the doctor to be sure but she sounds like my daughter. She spoke three or four word sentences at two but also a lot of jibberish nonsense. My sister and another friend actually brought up that they thought she might have speech problems but now at three she talks a lot more and is more easily understood.

From what I've read they all should catch up to other kids by age 5 and if a stranger can't understand everything a 4 year old says then there's a problem.

I'm a TALKER and my 22 month old has fewer words than her friends and isn't putting a couple words together. She also is quite skilled physically and is emotionally very happy. Some of her friends are not nearly as physically able as she is right now.

I've also worked in childcare for many years and have seen the WIDE range of skill development not just for language but the others as well.

Be proud of yourself for knowing yourself so well AND go see a speech pathologist if that could ease your mind. One thing I'm learning is that we are who we are. there are only some things we can talk ourselves out of when we worry and sometimes the health of our child is just not one of them.

A.,

My son was the same way at that age. While he was younger he had a lot of ear infections that we never caught because he didn't show the normal signs of them (tugging on ears, extra fussy, fevers). We have some videos of him reading Brown Bear at about two, and it sounds like he's either got cotton in his mouth, or his ears. Only this past year has his speech gotten lots better. He's now 4 1/2. We were at the point where the doctor was trying to get us referrals to speech therapists to help him, but I was reluctant.

Now I'm glad I waited. This past year being home with Mom, and little sister, have done wonders. For him the extra one-on-one time where I could catch and correct his words have been good for us.

I think your daughter will be fine, just a little of a late bloomer like my son.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Talk with your pediatrician. Has she had ear infections? Do you let her finish her sentences, do you find yourself talking for her when folks ask her a question? Play name games, go around the house and ask 'What's this?' Narrate all your activities so she hears words for everything that is being done, from dressing her, to picking up toys. Don't talk down, use appropriate words. If you live in the Seattle area, Kids Speak, previously known as Scottish Rite Center for Childhood Language Disorders is a wonderful place to go to get kids the help they need in learning to communicate. They will do an evaluation and determine what type of therapy is needed and then provide it. At the time my son was seen there, there was no charge for services. All that was needed was a child in need. We donated through United Way and continue to do so 17 years later. They gave us our son, who was unable to verbaly communicate. He/we became clients when he was 18 mo old and in the beginning we worked with him at home, doing the narration. When a slot opened up about 5 mo later, he was seen 2x a week. By the time he was 4 yrs old it was if he had been injected with a phonograph needle (my Dad's words, truer ones never spoken!). The families I have referred there have all had similar experiences. It's a totally awesome place. There are centers in Spokane, Yakima, Portland... all around the country. They are supported by the Shriners/the Masons. Again, a great place for help. You don't know how much the ability to communicate effects every part of your life.

I am sure you have heard this before. Every child is different. I have a 32 mth and a 22 mth old. The older being a boy and the younger being a girl. My boy is going to be 3 and is just now getting to 2 word sentences. I also have a friend who's son wasn't talking until age 3, and they didn't put him into speech therapy until he was 4. At least she is trying to make an effort to talk. I just keep working with my son and have him repeat things like "yes please", "thank you momma", just small sentences even if they are hard to understand, at least you are teaching them the concept. Good Luck.

I would talk to the school district and have them see what they think. If she is talking at all, you have it made.

My daughter was the same way, only I got her checked earlier and found that she was indeed speech delayed.

The sooner the better.

If you want to talk more, let me know.

Hi A. ~ I'm not sure if you should be concerned or not, because every child develops at their own pace. But I would also say that it doesn't hurt to have her evaluated and get a professional opinion so that if there IS a problem, you have early intervention on your side.

Best Wishes! K.

Hi,

I'm a mom of a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old, both of my kids have speech delays. I am also a WWU student, studying Communication Disorders, ironically enough.

First, go easy on yourself, there are so many things that we can be worried about and its good to be informed about the issues and to make sure all is well.

Second, if she does have a speech delay, it will likely be quickly corrected with therapy if it is taken care of at this age (once a kid hits school age they have so much to learn that requires communication skills they can get behind in other areas while working on their communication skills).

Lastly, and most importantly, the health department will screen any child under three years old for free (regardless of how much money you have or what insurance you have). Thier screen will tell you if it necessary to have a full evaluation done or not. I'd encourage you to contact them and just have it done.. it's quick and will either provide you with information to help your daughter or will put your fears at rest. The number you want to call to arrange this if you are in Whatcom County is ###-###-####.

Hope this helps!

Hi A.,

I agree w/Sherry and TJ. As long as you understand her, and she is able to play just fine with the other children, I wouldn't worry.

My oldest two(17, 16 yo) talked clearly and early, and my youngest(9 yo) was only clearly understood by me until she was around 3 years old, but neither of the girls talked to strangers much(thank goodness!).

We always read alot, and they watched educational shows on television, videos, had learning books, puzzles, that kind of thing, but basically, they all develop at their own pace, and like TJ said, if she turns 4 and most "strangers" can understand her, then she should be fine.

K. W

As a parent you get used to every sound your child makes,and you know what it means.You need to incourage her to "use her words" when she wants something.My sister's Daughter was the same way,she was 2 and not yet talking(my sister and her husband didn't think she could understand them so they didn't talk to her much).My sister got a job and her Daughter went to daycare and just started talking.Kids do understand more than we realize.Just talk to her every day,like when you are at the store or better yet find a time during the day that you can sit down and read to her~before you make dinner or right after lunch before "quiet time" (nap time).Kids thrive on structure.

It definitely wouldn't hurt to take her to a specialist to be evaluated. I'm not an expert, but my kids and most others I've seen have more words than that at 2. My son was not really ahead in anything, but we have video of him answering questions about his birthday party when he turned two. My daughter is not 2 yet (she's 21 months) and I believe she is a bit advanced in speech, she talks constantly and says all kinds of things, many small sentences, and sings recognizable songs and counts (in fragments).

It is VERY possible, even most likely, that there is nothing to be concerned about, every child develops differently, as many of the other moms on here have said! But I think you'll feel better once someone who is experienced with the issues and possible warning signs evaluates her and tells you if she's just a little slow to develop speech. It's always better to have all the information you can get! If you're not sure where to go or who to call, I'd consider checking the boards on Babycenter for developmental delays. There are lots of moms on there who share information and are knowledgeable about how to get help and evals., whose kids are at all ends of the spectrum.

Good luck, she sounds like a delightful child.

It will never hurt to have a speech language pathologist evaluate your child. If you are concerned at ALL, I would get a referral from your doctor and pursue it. Put your mind at rest, or get your child the additional support she needs.

My son just turned two also. He was diagnosed with Verbal Apraxia. His brain doesnt send consistent signals to his mouth so he cant really talk. Hes been in intense speech therapy for five months. I would get your daughter evaluated. State of WA has a great birth to three program where therapy will be provided at no cost. Early intervention is critical. Start with your child's doctor and dont take no for an answer. Afterall, it could be nothing, maybe she's just a late talker.

Sounds like you are talking about my daughter! I am not at all concerned because she is very busy. If you have read, I am sure you have heard how they focus on one thing and then another? Well, my daughter has always been busy. She watches everything, wants to be in the middle of whatever is going on, wont sit still for more then a minute, and so on. I know she is smart. I just figure she is more focused on other things. We started watching ABC videos and naming things in books more, and she is really quick to pick up new words but her pronounciation is not so good, and she doesnt do sentances. What I have made an effort to do is talk to her more, tell her whats going on in full sentances, and rephrase her one word into a sentance. I wouldnt worry, but if you want to take her to a speech therapist, or just the pediatrician just to get an ok that is good too.

Hello, I just want to say that if you are concerned you should see your dr. I listened to everyone else about how my son would eventually just grow into it and I got so worried that I finally talked to his Dr. about it. She recommended me to a speech therapist and they diagnosed him with a speech development problem. He'll be starting a special preschool next week. I guess I'm just trying to say that you are the mother and you are around her all the time. Don't take the word of people who are around her all the time and if you think she's behind then you should seek help. It's always better safe then sorry.

It would be worth it to ask your doc at her next well baby check up. You can also start working with her yourself. When she asks "what's that" respond "that's juice" then repeat slowly "j-u-i-c-e" and follow it "can you say juice?" She may or may not be willing to play this game.

every child develops diffrent. Some may be better at talking some at gross motor skills some at small motor skills. Just watch her stay calm, she can tell when you are not, and enjoy where she is in her development. She will be there for inly a short time.

Hi A.,
Lots of people will tell you that kids develop differently and not to worry. As mom to an almost 4 year old with a communication disorder, I would say if you're at all concerned start looking into your options now. There are typically very long waiting lists for testing and speech therapy services. I would start by contacting your school district. They will do a free in-home screening to determine whether further testing is warranted. If additional testing indicates that your daughter qualifies for an early intervention program, that is free also. My son is in the preschool program and it's been really good for him--the teachers are fantastic! You can also see if your doctor will refer you to a private speech therapist for one on one therapy, which is really helpful because the speech therapist can teach you how to help your daughter. Sometimes it's better to be proactive even if you think you might be over-reacting. Err on the side of caution.

If I were you, I would have her assessed. The speech therapist may say she's fine, but I also know many people who have had speech therapy for their kids and they now speak at very "normal" or average levels. With any developmental delays, it is better to address it early than late. I also believe that the assessments are free through the school districts, but I don't know the details on that. Good luck!

A.,

I think you have reason to be concerned.

On a positive note, I have a younger sister who had the same issue and was tested by a speech therapist and language specialist because my mother had the same concerns. As it turns out, there was nothing wrong and in time she spoke complete and complicated sentences. She basically skipped the "learning to talk" stage. Because of this, I know there are tests that can be done just to be on the safe side.

On a more serious note, I am an elementary school teacher and language development or lack thereof come up as major red flags in our meetings. Some of the concerns with this could be learning disabilities, autism, etc. For this reason, the earlier you learn about the reasons for the delay the better.

I encourage you to make an appointment with your ped. asap and share your concerns.

Good luck,

Hi A.,
I totally understand your fears. I too do the same thing. It is natural. I know that you can call early intervention and they will come out and do a free evaluation. That is what I do with my son since my daughter has autism it is always on my mind, so far he is just fine. They come out and watch and observe him and all that. It puts my fears at ease, and helps me to know that things are okay. So, I would call them and talk to them.Good Luck

When my son was 2 he had maybe 10 words and certainly wasn't putting them together. We had him evaluated and he qualified for speech therapy. A year later - he's completely caught up with his peers. It's been amazing to see the transformation. Call your pediatrician to see where to go for such an evaluation - as you'll hear from others "early intervention is the key". Good luck!

My older son was not talking very much by the time he was two and I later found out that he had a sub-mucous cleft palate which led to years of speech therapy and one surgery. He also has other health problems. I am sure that you daughter is fine but I would at least get evaluated by a speech therapist. If she does need therapy you can find therapists that basically turn the whole therapy session into playing and fun.

Hi A.,

I was the exact same way as you...reading everything and freaking myself out when my son didn't hit all his benchmarks when he was "supposed" to. I was concerned so much because Autism is in our family. I bombarded my Pediatrician with questions and concerns. At 2, my son was not stringing very many words together either. At his 2 yo well child appt, my Ped said that if in 6 months, he was not stringing 3 - 4 words together, then to contact him and we'd look into speech therapy. He was not overly concerned yet, but saw that I was. Well, Murphy's Law kicked in and right after we left the Dr's office, my hubby strapped our son into the car, and my son piped up with a "bye-bye, Daddy!" all on his own, and at that time that was pretty much the most words he has strung together. He is now about 3 1/2, talks non-stop, though some words are clear and some are harder to understand. His pronunciation is still taking some time, but I have stopped worrying, and I stopped reading all the "benchmark" articles and freaking myself out. He's smart, happy, healthy and doing great. He's starting a new pre-school in June that we are so excited about, and believe it will help him even more.

So, just keep up the communication with your Ped. If they seem concerned, they will refer you. I really do believe kids go at their own pace, and trying to pigeon-hole them into the benchmark criteria just creates stress, in us as parents, that I'm sure the kids pick up on too, which in turn can stress them out. Ease your concerns by talking with your Ped, but try to stop freaking yourself out and continue working with her at home. Best wishes!!!

I'd ask for a referral to a speech therapist for an evaluation. You can ask your dr for one, or call your local school district and ask about birth-three services, or contact DSHS.

Dont worry!! My daughter was not talking a whole lot at Christmas (2 1/2) but in the last couple of months she has started talking so much we cant get her to be quite!! haha Enjoy the peace a little longer.

Hi A.-
I wouldn't be concerned. My son only said 3 or 4 words at the age of 18 months. I had him tested by an ENT to make sure he could hear well and the dr. said he was a normal 18 month boy who just wasn't ready. At age 2, I took him to see a speech therapist to give me a baseline. He was diagnosed at 6-10 months DELAYED. I didn't do any speech therapy but watched him closely and tried to encourage him to talk. At the age of 4 he was retested and tested at normal. Your daughter is probably just on her own time schedule.

Is this your only child?
Are they around other kids on a regular basis?
If you ask her questions, does she respond with words?
Those are just a few questions. I would ask more of your pediatrician.
From my experience working in childcare I do believe most children have a vocabulary of about 50 words.

my brother in law didnt speak until he was three and he is one of the smartest and well spoken people i know. i dont know if you should worry or not. my neighbors boy was about 2 1/2 before he started talking.

She should just now be starting to string words together. Don't worry. Just talk with her as often as you can. When she says a word just HAPPILY repeat it the proper way. Sometime it helps to repeatit and OVER pronouce the portion she is not say correctly.

Your right child hood IS about playing but also learning through play. Remember to make it FUN FUN FUN!!!

it could be normal, but you should take a look at autism and see if there are other things that don't add up. Autism manifests itself between 18-24 months.

Just don't freak out if your child doesn't reach every benchmark - NO CHILD is "textbook".

Good Luck
D. from Oregon