Taking a 2-Year-old on an Extended Overseas Trip

The child will be fine!!!
Kids adjust very well, and quickly. Not to mention, he'll prob. start assimilating a lot of the Chinese language in his mind at the same time.

I think the one to worry about is the father, who will be by himself here in the states!

I think this is an excellent opportunity for your child. At this age he will be soaking up the language while he is there and may even become bilingual. Children that age are very flexible and as long as Mom and/or Dad are around I don't think the amount of time away will matter that much. You mentioned he is a Mama's Boy. That is OK too. Mom is the main caregiver since she stays at home with him and that is the bond that you are trying to form when you choose to stay at home with your child. It is great that he has formed this attachment to Mommy. I am sure as he grows the tides will change and he will become closer to Dad as he becomes more independent. You didn't mention if you speak english and chinese in the home. It would be a great idea if Mom started to teach him some chinese before you go so he can communicate with his family in China. Have a great time!

We've only taken our little ones (5 in April + 3 in August (too!)) overseas for a few weeks at a time (Turkey - her family) and are getting ready for another trip now, our youngest's first. We've always gone on trips together as a family (save for a couple of Mommy/Daddy getaways and some weekend trips with just the boys).

I don't, however, think that 2 or 3 months will affect him adversely in any way. I *would* go out of my way to make sure that he is treated politely, as a foreigner who doesn't speak the language (either try to get people to speak English to each other when around him, or translate what is said). He'll enjoy himself more; you can't expect him to pick up (Mandarin or Cantonese?) Chinese in a month or two; and it will help him continue to build his English vocabulary, which he'll be needing for school when he gets back.

I'd be more interested/concerned about the general family dynamics than your son with a trip this long.

The boys are pretty adaptable; as long as they feel loved and are kept fed and entertained, they're happy.

I'd be missing my wife and the boys in a pretty major way after even a week or two without them. Will they be staying anyplace where you can have daily video calls via IM?

-Scott (Husband to S.)

I lcome from switzerland and every summer take my daughter and will now be taking my son to go visit my family. We also stay for 2 months and there is nothing at all to worry about. They love it so so so much and always ask to go back whenever we are back in Florida. Kids adapt so so easily that there is really nothing at all for you to concern yourself about. Your child will be around a new culture, new language and new loving family. All of those things are fantastic and it would be nice if more people exposed their children to other parts of the world. I really think it builds compassion and a better understanding of life. So just have fun fun fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi A.,
From personal experience I can tell you it is wonderful! my parents are both from Belgium and I used to go there 2 months every year when I was an infant until age 16. I learned to speak dutch and french being there( children pick it up quickly). the time with the family was priceless, and now that most of them are gone, I thank god I had the opportunity! I never suffered any problems from going and often came back and started school within 1 week.I was like a long vacation! Now I also speek multiple languages. my friend is from vietnam and sent her little girl(age3 at the time)for a whole year! She loved it and now speaks 2 languages. just make sure you speak english to him between you while you are there so he doesnt start to only understand chinese! Of course he will miss daddy, make sure you call him and write frequently, more so for you because you will probably find it more difficult for you than for him! Children are remarkably resilient, they usually go with the flow! Good luck and enjoy the trip of a lifetime! you will not regret it!
sincerely, I.

Hello A.! I have taken both of my daughters for extended trips to Israel and have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. My daughters were surrounded by loving family who were so happy to spend time and bond with them. As for the language barrier, it was no problem. Children are very smart and not only will they have no problem with their English, they will pick up on the other language. I never had a problem with that. When they got back to the states, there was never a confusion. Now that both of my daughters are grown, they still love visiting their family far away and have a strong connection to them. On the plane, bring lots of coloring books and games to keep them busy, and the most important thing of all: ENJOY!

My husband is egyptian, and we have taken our daughter on an extended trip to egypt for a month or two. She is almost three and will be three when we take her again. I am american and can only speak some arabic. Hannah did well there the first trip. I expect that she will do even better the second. It would help if you both gave him some words to learn. Kids are like sponges, mine speaks probably over 100 words, because I pestered my husband to teach her. Preparing your child for these trips are the best thing. Get the photos out, hook up skype, and start communicating. Start showing your kid China.

I honestly think that family is the most important thing in life. It grounds you. I am wondering if it is more or less that you will miss the little guy, that has put a slightly negative bend on things? Look at it this way, your kid will be well rounded, with culture and possibly pick up a new language. Have you been to china?

As for the possibility of losing any language or education that he might gain while going to school, take some games with colors, shapes, numbers and letters in english so he can continue his education. (We did this with our daughter) This is a great opportunity for this little guy.

Good luck! Jen

A few notes of advice (and I'm an international educator by profession):

If your 3 year old is away from Daddy for a long time, there will be a major re-adjustment period when you get home. As long as everyone is prepared for that, you should be okay. If your relatives are web-saavy, take a camera with you and use webcam to have your son talk to Daddy every day. (I have lots of faculty who do this when they teach overseas for a semester and have children at home.)

I think the real question on length of time is your relationships and your marriage. If you are involved in clubs / mom's groups, and then are absent for several months, how tough will it be to reintegrate? How much stress will an extended trip take on your marriage?

Keep in mind that at 3, your son is already pretty verbal and I am guessing, used to hearing you speak in English at home? You will have to continue to speak to him in English while in China to provide some stability and connection through language for him. If you can, enroll him in Chinese classes before leaving or begin working on his Chinese now so that he can understand a bit before leaving.

Is he toilet training? If he will be trained before leaving, make sure he knows what to expect before he goes to China and if he won't be comfortable, you may want to bring a potty.

If your family is in an "international" city, explore whether there is an international pre-school where your son would continue to have the school environment in an international setting. Talk to friends or relatives in China and learn what the daily routine is for a 3 year old child and then compare it to whatever you have here.

My sister moved to Honduras for 2 years with a 2 year old while she was pregnant. She never thought about the fact that there aren't any playgrounds in Honduras and they went to one daily at home for a playgroup. She started an ex-pat playgroup at a local Burger King (that has a playground)to improvise.

Good luck!

I think it's a great idea to take your son to meet his maternal family. I took my son with me to Nicaragua for almost 2 months in the summer, which is where my mother lives and he enjoyed it a whole lot. Everyone spoke to him in spanish which was ok. (Your son may get enough exposure to chinese so that when he and your wife come back, she can continue teaching him..which would be great because they say chinese is the language of the future with the WTO, etc.) I will have to say that it was more uncomfortable for me than it was for him. Although I went to my mother's house (which should have felt like my own) it wasn't the same. Also, be prepared to bring back to the States a spoiled little kid. I don't think this happens b/c of overzealous grandparents, but because kids tend to act differently when their surroundings and routines change. Kids are resilient and they will adapt to anything, especially if they are with their mother or father. We, however, will have a hard time adapting to other places and then readapting when we come back (because we're stuck with a bratty kid for about a month). Your son will probably have enough time to readapt to the States before he goes back to school in August. I would say, make sure he has all his vaccines and check with your pediatrician to see if there is some kind of country specific health issue when traveling abroad. I'm sure you will miss your son but if you fix your visit so that it's sometime in the middle of their stay, you won't feel it as much. If you decide to go through with it, good luck and enjoy your experiences!

Last year my 2 babies were 1 and 2 years old. We took a 4 week trip to Puerto Rico and daddy could not come at all. My 2 years old was awesome and quickly connected with grandma (my mom).

My 1 year old took a little longer but at the end of the month I was able to even go out with my friends and leave both of my boys with my parents for a night.

We called Papa every day and they were all excited to hear Papa on the phone.

It is amazing how easily babies can cope with changes and how smart they are!!

I wouldn't worry about the language either, the more languages they learn the better. I speak spanish and my husband speaks english; my kids already know the difference and they know that mama says "agua" and papa says "water".

Today my older son sees grandma over the computer (video camera) and he knows that to see grandma we have to go by airplane. We can't wait to go again but she wants to come to Florida this Holidays and that's even better. Now we can spend Christmas this year with PAPA.

I am sure your son will have a blast! Take lots of pictures!!

Be prepared for the long plane-trip though. That's the toughest part (it was for me). I would get new toys and keep them just for the trip (nothing like new toys for toddler boys); get a few, they easily get bored. Also, bring a nice blankie and pillow that will help him feel comfortable and sleep.

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My next goal is to replace my teacher's income this coming year and be able to Homeschool my children!! Now, that is going to be FUN!!

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