T-ball Team Question, Same Team as Friends or Unknown Team?

Updated on April 27, 2008
P.D. asks from Wheeling, IL
18 answers

I'm torn, two friends of my daughter's are on the same T-ball team, they asked yesterday if we'd like to play. I said sure, but when I called to register, that team has 11 kids already, the organizer said they really do not like more than that per team. The organizer said there is a different team with a great coach she could be added to instead. Most of them are return players from last year. This is my daughter and her friends first year. If I really push though, the organizer said they'd probably go ahead and put her on her friends team. If she continues playing I'm thinking she'd rather be on the same team as her friends. What would you guys do?

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A.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

My son started his first year of soccer last year and we asked to be on the same team as his friend because I thought he would be more comfortable. I will probably NEVER do this again. He was so glad to see his friend that most of the time instead of playing he was talking to his friend etc. When his friend was late or didn't come he just kept asking where he was. If he'd gone in not knowing anyone I think he would have done better. Hope she has fun!!

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D.K.

answers from Tulsa on

I have had the same issue with both of my kiddo's. Both times we signed up on the other team. I think it has helped my children to learn to work with others, meet other kids, a little independence because they did not have the safety net of having a friend on the team. There is always next time/next year. Good luck.

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J.T.

answers from Monroe on

This is my son's second year to play t-ball and both years he has not been on a team with any friends. He is very shy so yes, I was a little concerned, but surprisingly, he adjusted very well and has made a lot of new friends. Actually, you would of never known that he didn't know any of the children on his team prior to playing t-ball. So, I say, put her on the other team. It is a great opportunity to let her meet new friends and to experience these types of situations that will most definitely arise again, sooner or later.

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H.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

When I played as a kid, I loved playing against my friends. It made it fun and we still encouraged each other to win. The fact that you want your little one to pay attention to the coach means I would go with the other team. When the friends are together they normally play at this age and not pay attention to the coach.

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N.A.

answers from Montgomery on

I think that this is a marvelous opportunity for your daughter to meet new people and make new friends! Not only that, but you will be teaching her one of the best lessons you can possibly teach your child - you cannot always get what you want.

Instead of making a fuss and pushing for getting her on the same team with her friends, make a point of being accepting of the circumstances, and show her that being pushy to get your way is not the best way of doing things.

Too many children these days are just totally spoiled. We give in to everything, and then also show them that by raising a stink, we can get our way...well, that is just plain bad. I think it would be very admirable of you to get her in on another team, and show her that she can have fun and make new friends, and learn that lesson. She might not actually know that it is a lesson right now, but enough of these types of situations will, over time, teach her that life is full of minor disappointmens, but that you can make lemonade out of all of those little lemons, and may end up actually enjoying it very much.

It is a life lesson that our own mothers taught us, but that sadly, many of us are not teaching to our children. I truly think that we would have far less crime and fear in our nation if we would just think about how our parents and grandparents were raised, and try to do the same for our kids. Disappointment never hurt anyone in life, but constantly being given everything you ever wanted has led to our nation being the way it is right now.

Ok, enough about that. Whatever you decide, I hope your daughter enjoys herself and makes lots of new friends.

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W.H.

answers from Texarkana on

This is my daughter's first time to play T-ball as well and at their age, they make friends easily and really do not care if their friends are on the same team. My daughter came in late and she just happened to get on the team with her cousin because their team didnt have many players either, but she has friends on other teams and they all hi-five eachother still. Its really just for fun anyway. Where I am they let every player bat and they don't keep score or count outs. They have a great time and learn the basic procedures of baseball/softball. Just let her play where ever she can. She will be fine. In a way, it teaches them good sportsmanship towards the other teams in the longrun because their friends are on the other team.

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R.S.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Peggy, i don't think it really matters....how she responds to either situation will depend in large as to how you present it to her....since this is her first year to play it would probably be "nice" for her to play with her friends, but then on the other hand, she could meet new folks...my boys had friends on all the teams....so you are probably the key...if not being on the same team with her friends is presented as tenative and apologetic then she might be upset with it but if it's presented as a new adventure and meeting new kids and learning the sport and the competition of the game..then she'll be ok...have fun...R.

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C.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Same team. That way your daughter and her friends can learn together. My son, and 1 friend, played on a team last summer where they knew none of the other kids. It was okay. All of the other parents knew each other so it felt like my kid and his friend got left out. Now they are on a team that is all friends from school. It is MUCH better. The communication is better, the coaches are great, the kids are wonderful. It is just a better situation.

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D.D.

answers from Dothan on

She may learn more and make new friends on a different team. Sometimes being with best friends can be distracting to a child, and this is an opportunity to teach her about expanding her horizons. She might learn that she can be friends with different kinds of kids. She's not going to lose the friends she already has, but make new ones.

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T.J.

answers from New Orleans on

I would just put her on the other team :) My 7 year old plays baseball and he pays attention a little more with out kids he already knows....he's never really fussed about it and actually asked me last year not to pick some of his friends when it was time for us to do a draft for the teams (I coach). lol He told me that they just want to play around and he wants to play baseball.

They will see each other when they play against each other :)

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J.M.

answers from Tulsa on

I'd push for her to be on her friend's team. especially if it is her 1st time to play. A team with a all return players are going to be better than your daughter and she may feel bad and when she plays her friend's team it would be really sad :(

Just my opinion....

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M.T.

answers from New Orleans on

I have two older boys who have played baseball (at Carrollton) for years and have met many new friends because they were not on the same team as their friends. I also have a 5 year old girl who played t-ball last year ( and is playing again this year). She was on a team that she did not know anyone last summer and loved it. At this age, the meet friends, or interact with them, pretty easily. You will see your friends before and after the games at the playground. I suggest, go for it.

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L.P.

answers from Tulsa on

Push for them to be on the same team. If she gets on a team that she doesn't like, it may turn her against the sport all together. If she's with her friends, she will be having fun and will learn to love the sport. Also, if you already know other moms on the team, it makes car pooling a whole lot easier! Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi, I'm also a sahm,w/ a wonderful husband that works hard to allow me the luxury. I have 2 girls 16yrs & 12yrs. My advise is to do what ever you can to get your little girl on the team w/ her friends. Not just because she wants to be w/ her friends & it would be more fun but have you ever seen the movie "Mean Girls"? The thing is all of us women have a little bit of that in us, as hard as it is to admit. My experience has been that this starts really early. The first problem w/ the situation is that you are working w/ 3 girls, I don't know about boys, mine is only 4mo old, but 3 girls doesn't usually work, 2 or 4 is good, but when theres 3 they tend to single 1 out. Here is what I can see happening if all of the girls continue playing: eventually the 2 teams will play against each other, if your daughters team wins the other 2 girls will be upset and if your daughter shows any excitement in her teams accomplishment they will say things to your daughter like "its not that big of a deal, will you stop bragging"? And then one will say to the other "I don't want to play w/ her, she is such a bragger, lets don't be her friend anymore" Your daughter will come home crying and she will not be able to understand why they won't play w/ her. Or the friends team wins and while your daughter is disapointed her best friends will be going on and on about how they won and its to bad you are on a losser team, you should have got on our team we are winners, and they will go out somewhere special to celebrate and your daughter will not be invited. Again you have a crying little girl who doesn't understand why they are leaving her out. I know that as a mother of a sweet little 4 yr old you are thinking this woman is crazy, I know these girls & their mothers, they wouldn't act like that & if they did their mothers would correct them for it. Well I'm sharing this w/ you because I sat & held my 6yr old little girl crying in my arms because these very situations happened, the only difference was that it was cheerleading squads instead on T-ball teams and the mothers that I thought I knew said " well you know how kids are, maybe your daughter is a little sensetive". After a few years of this the girls were no longer friends. Boys would have got into a fist fight over it, resolved the problem and would still be friends. Girls seem to do a lot of tit for tat that drags out & causes a lot hurt feeling. You can't always protect them, there will come a day that she will be on the bad side of the "Mean Girl", but every time you see an opportunity to prevent it go ahead & take it, it will be worth pushing the organizer a little. Now I want to share w/ you, even though you are probably thinking I'm crazy right now, that raising little girls has been the most rewarding thing of my life. Yes, I've sat & cried w/ them when their heats got broken, and yes they get really smart mouthed when they hit about 10 or 11. But thay are so much fun, picking out gowns for the dances they have every year, teaching them how to put make-up on, having our hair done together, going shopping. Now that they are a little older we do everything together and we laugh ourselves into tears. You are just at the beggin of such a wonderful journey, it does go by to fast so enjoy every minute of it.

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L.A.

answers from Pine Bluff on

It would be great if they could be on the same team, but I don't think it would be a big deal if they weren't. I say that because my daughter played T-ball last year and it was her first year as well and her friends were on different teams. It made it more exciting for them. Yes, they were competing but they were excited about it. So I think as long as she gets to play, that should be sufficient.

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K.M.

answers from Baton Rouge on

If your child can't be on the same team as her friend she will make new friends on another team. Can't have too many friends, now can we?

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K.S.

answers from Lake Charles on

Ask your daughter, you could be surprised!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

This is our first year to do T-Ball too. She has a best friend and I constantly come across this issue. Do we put them together or keep them apart. They do Gymnastics together, they do Church together, best friend is at our house nearly every day, etc.... If you daughter is around the friends all the time it might be okay to put them on different teams. K and F really do pay attention more when they are separated but on the other hand they really wanted to be together at first and now they like more independence because they feel more confident about what they are doing.

T-Ball is a fun learning experience. My K is the flower picker on the team. They don't do much except stand around while the other team tries to bat. Then they all run after the ball at the same time. T-Ball is fun and low stress. My vote is put them on the same team this year and when you sign up next year see how she feels. Some of those kids will be too old and there will be room on every team. If she hates being on a different team it may effect her like or dislike of the whole game.

In the fall K and F will both be old enough for Soccer and F's mom and I are already talking about this. F's older brother has played Soccer for several years so F is very familiar with the game. She is 3 months older than K and it seems that F is always ahead of K. I worry that K will feel dumb and hate the game. It would be nice to have both girls on the same schedule so my friend and I can share the transportation and trade off. I don't know what we'll end up deciding so I am really looking forward to reading all the responses to your question.

G

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