Switch from Bottle of Milk to Sippy Cup

I let my boys have milk in the 'baba' until they were three. I didn't see any harm in it and they are 13 and 17 now and are normal well adjusted kids who make a's and b's in school. Their teeth did not rot from having a bottle for so long. If it comforts your daughter let her have it. Especially if she is adjusting to you going back to work.

A week before they turned three I told them that on their birthday the 'baba' fairly would come and take the baba's away to a new baby. Magically, the bottles disappeared and neither one of them cried.

S. - She's 14 months old, she should be weined by now anyway. But, if you are still providing her milk at naptime and bed time, offer it ONLY in a cup. She may not be happy about it at first but after the first few days, she will take it that way if she really wants it. You don't want to damage her teeth by continuing with the bottle any longer than you have. It's time to listen to a little crying for a little while to ensure "bottle mouth" doesn't set in later. Remember, you are in charge and she only gets away with what she knows you allow.

Hi S. K, I'm a mother of three girls 18, 12, and 9. The most difficult time for me was giving up the bottle. My first doctor was old school and he said just stop using the bottle. They will cry and be upset but once the bottle is gone so is the habit. While the baby is napping with the bottle of milk and teeth have come in there is a chance that the teeth will stain. You will have a couple of days of fussiness but it will be so worth it when you go back to work. Make sure to take your daughter shopping and let her pick out her own special sippy cup and buy 5 of them so if you lose or break one. Good luck and welcome to motherhood.

B. P.

S. - don't feel bad -- I'm in the same boat, except that my 2nd child (daughter Peyton) is 2 1/2 and still on the bottle for nap and bedtime. I have just gotten her a 'big girl' bedroom set and hope to set a sippy cup next to her bed at night with water in it like her big brother gets. But we'll see what happens. I say this.......she won't walk down the aisle at her wedding one day with a bottle in her mouth, so why worry so much. They all get it eventually and as long as you brush her teeth 2X a day -- you'll be fine!!! Good luck and enjoy your little one -- they grow up fast!!!

Hey S.
I know how frusterating this can be, my daughter had her bottle with milk until she was 3 1/2. It was her comfort through all of her surgeries! When little brother came along and took over her forward facing car seat we got her a new one. After strapping it into the car, she walked into the house and threw the bottle in the garbage and never asked for it again. I was stunned! She will give it up eventually, just hang in there. Maybe there is something that you can replace it with. One suggestion would be to start offering just water in it, she will soon loose interest. Stick with it! Good luck!

Any baby 14 months of age still needs the comfort of suckling, which helps her feel safe and secure. Your baby has coped with events in her short life which intensify her fear of abandonment. These events include the traumatic seperation from her birth mother, the frightening events that surrounded her move from China such as air travel, change in climate, complete change in language and of course, nothing smells the same any more. Now we add another traumatic event into the mix - the Mommy she has completely bonded with is gone several hours a day. What a shock! No wonder she won't give up that bottle for naps and bedtime! I wouldn't either!

As a mother of three and grandmother of 7, my advice to you is first and foremost - Relax! Smile! Let the baby have the bottle, and don't worry if anyone criticizes you about it. So what if she drinks her bottle? It helps her to cope with all the events that most of her American counterparts don't ever have to deal with. So give the baby a break already, and give yourself a break, too.

You are doing a fine job, you love your baby, and I know you would forever want her to feel loved and secure. The bottle gives her the sense of security she needs to deal with your absence at work.

She will give the bottle up all by herself in time. You will probably be surprised - she will give that bottle up much more easily without any pressure - and sooner than you might think!

Love,
M. B

I must disagree very strongly with Bonner and Rochelle. An adopted child has very different needs than a bio one, especially one that languished in an orphanage for the first months of her life! You do not want to look back on her first year at home and wish you had done it differently, wish you had spent more time and effort on attachment. You cannot get this time back and if you encounter problems in the future, you may wish you could.

At 14 months of age, there is no reason to eliminate the bottle. You should be giving it to her before sleeping - at nap and bedtime, but not letting her sleep with it. You don't want her to use the bottle to self-soothe - you want to teach her to find comfort from you. Sucking is a powerful urge and bottle-time is wonderful for bonding. She has been with you only about 1/2 her life. You need to take every opportunity you can to be her caregiver - to be the provider of nurturing and food. And the fact that she refuses milk in a cup would indicate that she wants and needs that comfort time with the bottle and you.

Both my kids, bio and adopted, were on a bottle much longer. However, I never let either of them hold the bottle or carry it. Bottle-time was only with me or daddy, before bed and usually in a rocker. Bio DD went to a sippy cup/straw cup during the day at about 11 months, but continued the night/nap bottle until she was about 2. My son, adopted from Russia at 11 months of age, was introduced to a straw cup at 12 or 13 months, but stayed on a bottle for milk at nap and bedtime. At 2.5 yrs, home over 18 months, he is still taking a bottle (in the rocker) before bed most nights. He is less interested and only wants it about 1/2 or 3/4 of the time and doesn't always finish it. I suspect he will stop completely in the next 6 months, but I will let him decide. He can have a nighttime bottle as long as he wants, but it must be in our arms - he cannot take a bottle around with him.

Whether bio or adopted, lots of kids are still using bottles or breastfeeding at 14 months. There is no reason to try to stop it, especially since she was adopted at 8.5 months and was likely neglected and without much physical comfort and cuddling during that time. And the fact that you must return to work is going to make her feel less secure - you both need that bottle time to connect and to allow her to learn that you belong to her, you are her mom, she belongs to you... especially when you will no longer be with her 24/7. Use bottle time for both of you to enjoy and relax. :) She will not go to kindergarten with a bottle!

Bonner is totally right. You are the mommy and she should be off bottles now. You have a habit to break that isn't so easy. Just start the transition to sippy cups, one bottle of milk at a time. Warm her milk for the first month or so and then slowly make it colder and colder...that helped our transition a lot.