Suggestions on Weaning My 15 Month Old

Updated on March 10, 2008
R.J. asks from Menlo Park, CA
29 answers

I have a 15 month old daughter than I am still breast feeding at night. I was in the process of weaning her in December then she got sick and would only breast feed - she was losing a lot of weight so I did whatever it took. She has been sick off and on since then with doctors telling me not to let her cry it out because of ongoing ear infections. We are having tubes put in in a couple of weeks and I am looking for advice on how to wean her after that is all said and done and she is healthy again. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

First of all, thank you to all the moms who gave me great ideas and more importantly support. I was only nursing before bed and during the night, so I decided last night to just try only offerering her a bottle as well as adding a couple other activities to our bedtime routine and she went for it - in fact she drank a whole bottle and went right to bed two nights in a row now. And since offering her bottles in the middle of the night I picked up on another problem - she drank 12 ounces in two feedings - I had no idea she was drinking so much at night when she was waking up to nurse and this is after the 9 ounces she drank before bed...so I have those to wean now too. Thanks to all the support and ideas I know I can do it!
Thank you all again!

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L.A.

answers from Redding on

I had a very successful time weaning my son. I cut one feeding at a time; I would wait until he had settled down from the change before cutting another one. The first one I cut was the one that was the least important to him (for us, this was mid-morning). I usually waited a month before the next cut. Then we were down to once a day. I always waited for him to ask for this breastfeeding time (I didn't offer). One day, on his own, he quit asking for it, and so then we were done! There was no trauma or drama involved, and he has been well-adjusted. He doesn't need to suck on things, etc.
Good luck! I hope this helps ...

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R.O.

answers from Stockton on

Hi, the best way to wean a child is to do it slowly. Give her breast milk, then fresh milk (alternate). Then the next day do one breast feeding, then 2 fresh milk, and so on (gradually increasing the fresh milk intake) until she is weaned off of breast feeding. Watch her reaction to the fresh milk because some babies get allergies from fresh milk, you can try soy milk instead (comes in powder).
If she isn't taking anything else but breast milk, give it a rest for 2 days and then start again. With children...it takes time, just take it slowly and don't let it stress you out.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I breast fed all of my children and the weaning process takes time... that's my advise, do it slowly. Just a tiny bit less each day or week. Instead of every 2 hrs. or 4 hrs. extend the time a liiiiiiittle bit. It usually took me weeks to wean one of my kids (and I breast fed the last one for over 2 years). BRAVO TO YOU, MOM! FOR TAKING SUCH EXCELLENT CARE (and being so giving) TO YOUR LITTLE ONE!

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J.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Gradually and with attention, distractions and trickery! My first born nursed until 17 months; however the last 5 months it was breakfast only. He'd climb out of his bed and into ours where he cuddled and nursed. Slowly, one day a week at first, I'd get out of bed before he was up. He was easily distracted with games, breakfast and other things to do. One morning I woke up engourged and realized he hadn't nursed for 3 weeks. I would suggest you have only one place in your home for "nursing" and where there are no other distractions (your bed, for instance), ie toys, tv etc. ie Don't nurse and watch Seasame Street at the same time. Soon interest in reading with Mom, watching TV or playing with toys will be more interesting that nursing. Hope this helps.

Grandma J. (Mom of 3)

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S.G.

answers from Sacramento on

It is both easier and harder when you wean at an "older" age. I nursed until 2 yrs, but what really worked for me was talking talking talking. We even made a little picture book about things he did as a baby (nursing, cribs, diapers), contrasted to things we was getting to do now and in the future(solid food, big kid toys).

Use any support people you have, sitters, grandparents, friends, to really play up the specialness of growing up.

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I, too, had problems weaning off my youngest son. I finally weaned him off at 20 months! I kept on getting mastitis (breast infections). The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. You have to be strong. Also, keep in constant communication with your pediatrician and your OBGyn. Ask them for advice as well. I actually stopped feeding him and just let him cry. It was so difficult, but I had to do it. Give your child to somebody else to hold and talk to her and say, sorry, mommy needs to do this. You can't have mommy's milk anymore. It may not seem like it, but she will understand eventually. My son did not want to be with me for a couple of weeks or so and he seemed distant, but he came around. It's an adjustment period for both you and her. You can do this!

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B.S.

answers from Salinas on

Are you both taking lots of Acidophilius with all those antibiotics you guys have been on? It's important to take probiotics, or thrush will grow-In your nipples as well as in baby's mouth. Sometimes there are no outward symptoms, but often thrush can cause more ear infections! It's always best to see a Board Certified Lactation Consultant about the most gentle way to wean your baby. IBCLC's are all over the place, Sonja Massey RN, PHN, BSN, IBCLC is a really good resource. Her phone number is 831-402-1MOM. Be careful and do lots and lots of research about those tubes, okay? Be well!!

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

You say you are nursing at night, does that mean right before bed, or your daughter wakes up in the middle of the night to feed? I weaned my daughter at 14 months, but she was only nursing at that time right before bed (she had been pretty consistently sleeping through the night since she was 3 months old). We had to create a whole bedtime routine that didn't center around my breast, and daddy had to help since if she was on me, she wanted to nurse. (Is there a friend or grandparent who can help out for a couple of nights?) She didn't like cows milk (the pediatrician said this was ok as long as she was eating other dairy), but we started giving her a sippy cup of cows milk while we read stories (usually 3-4). Then we would brush teeth and replace the milk cup with water cup that she could take to bed. We would have lots of cuddles and read one more story, then hugs and kisses and to bed. She cried the first few nights, but only for a short while, and after a few weeks she didn't even ask for it anymore. (She unfortunately, still uses a pacifier, but the paci fairy will be coming soon to take that away also). If it is middle of the night feedings that are a problem, when we wanted to eliminate those, we just had daddy get up with her, since if mommy did, she would refuse to go back to sleep without nursing, but if daddy got up, she was fine with a quick cuddle and right back to bed. (Again, if a grandparent or friend can help out for a few nights, it may be quicker to transition her without so many tears and screaming) The above methods only work when she sleeps in her own bed, since if she sleeps with you, it is a lot harder to eliminate middle of the night feedings. If that is the case, it may be best to transition to her own bed before you take away the breast. As long as she is eating well at her age the nursing is more of a comfort than nutrition, so finding something that she finds comforting is probably going to be the smoothest way to success. My daughter took to her stuffed dog when we weaned her, and now she doesn't like to go to sleep without it (or her baby doll). My daughter suprised us with how quickly she adjusted to the new routine. She is normally very stubborn, but she just took it in stride and moved on. I think she was proud to be a "big girl". It really only took her a few days total to adjust. I hear though, the longer you wait, the harder it is for them to give it up. I would just give it a shot, she may suprise you, especially after the tubes are put in and she is feeling so much better, she won't need all the extra comfort. Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I weened my daughter at one year, now she is two. It was hard and if she had her way, she would still be nursing. I never realized how much she would have continued to benefit if I would have kept on longer. It is a really hard transition for you both, so try and take your time and enjoy that she is still a baby! If you have a family member or someone who can step in and help with bedtime (I know, not very likely) and step up the nitetime routine (bath,lullabye music), put her to bed a little later (fill her up with food?) and it will get easier to reason with her in the next few months. Tell her what you need to do, she knows exactly what you are talking about even though she will play it off like she dosen't. I also (contrary to some doctors recomendations) got her to take the bottle at one year and that was the most important tool for me. Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.!

Hang in there! My older daughter was constantly sick while I was trying to wean her off too. She developed pneumonia & I had to restart the process all over again. Plus, because of her food allergies, the going was a little harder.

I started at about 15 months, by feeding her as soon as she woke up. Then, during the day would try to get her to eat more solids. She was at a point where she only wanted to breast feed & not eat solids, so Doc recommended I act fast. It was hard, bec. she would fight for breast milk, but I didn't budge. She was still feeding at night, but it slowly eased off & by 17 months she was fully weaned.

Good luck w/the tube insertion & I hope this helps.

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I had trouble weaning my daughter too! I read a chapter out of the Sears book (can't remember the title) and they suggested beginning with weaning at night. One suggestion they gave was to explain to her when she wakes up that she can have milk "when Mr. Sun comes up." That really worked once she was about 18 months---she seemed to understand and although we had to endure a few nights of her crying, eventually she would just go back to sleep with a little whining, and then she didn't wake up at all. We offered her water too when she asked for milk, and eventually she took it and was satisfied. Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I had to start letting my husband go to my baby while i stayed in bed. If I went in she went straight for the breast but if he went in she cried for a few minutes but then went back to sleep. It took about three nights for her to stop crying for me and now she is sleeping through the night. Another good resource is the "No Cry Sleep Solution". She gives lots of advice on getting them off the breast at night so they don't depend on it to get back to sleep. Hope this helps!!

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Good for you for contining to nurse while your child is going through this tough time! I am sure that your child is receiveing much comfort through nursing right now.

At around 18 months, I weaned my son at night by getting him to sleep through the night. If you are only nursing at night, what you really want is to get her to sleep through. When your child is better, you may find that she may not wake up quite as much. If she wakes up, I would try comforting her without nursing her. The "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizebeth Pantly offers a way to get your child to sleep through without letting them cry it out.

Also, it is natural for a child under two to wake up at night. They make all kinds of noises in their sleep. If your child cries a little you can often wait two minutes and they are right back to sleep. They cry softly when changing positions. Many times moms rush in too soon and try to nurse, when their child would have fallen asleep again by themselves.

After, I made the decision to wean my son at night, having my husband go in with him when he woke up helped a lot.

I hope your daughter is well soon.

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L.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi!
I may not have the best advice, but it worked for my daughter. She was still nursing at night until about 16 months, and since it was only for comfort I decided to try and substitute a warm bottle of milk instead...fortunately she took it and at night, we still rocked and cuddled, but i could give her that bottle instead...it was hard for me to give her a bottle at first, since i was pretty hard set with my previous twins that they needed to be off a bottle at one year, but re-introducing it to her was the right thing..the downfall of course, is that she wanted that bottle for another 6 months!..but as we would lose them, or leave in the car, etc we kept tossing them until finally we were down to one bottle left...when i accidently ran over it with the car, she said bye bye and we were done!

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My son is 15 months old and we just weaned last week. We had a similar situation where he got sick during the holidays and would only nurse, and we ended up increasing feedings. When he felt better, I gradually got back down to just morning and night nursings, the two that were most routine.

First, I got rid of the night one by replacing the breastfeeding with a cup of milk. I would give this to him, in his room, while reading - as similarly to his bedtime routine as possible, but w/o the breast. He had no probably with this at all! I think the night one was easy to rid of because he was tired already.

The morning one was a little tougher since he is really hungry and impatient in the morning. I tried the milk - and he just screamed and threw it. I then tried letting him suck on the breast for a few minutes (to calm down) and then gave him the milk. Didn't work either. Then I just gave him a snack cup with Cheerios in it. BINGO! He eats about 1/2 cup of cheerios while I change and dress him. He didn't miss a beat. So, for me, I think it was not so much about routine, but finding something that he is happy to replace the breast for...if she has a favorite food or drink, maybe try that first?

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L.S.

answers from Salinas on

My daughter also got tons of ear infections, and I was desperate until I discovered homeopathy. Now at 10 years old she hardly ever gets sick. I was so intrigued that there was something out there that could help so quickly and safely ( but that I had never heard of) that I became a homeopath myself. To find a good homeopath check with the National Center for Homeopathy at www.nationalcenterforhomeopathy.org.

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C.G.

answers from Sacramento on

Before getting tubes - take your 15 month old to a chiropractor that works with children - Dr. Bambus - Rancho Cordova. I took my 8 month old and he never had another ear infection. This may help. Good luck to you.

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K.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.!
Im sorry you and your baby are having to go through all that.. thats really exhausting. Babies can smell milk a mile a way ;) We had to let my mom take my son for the weekend, so that he would take a bottle with formula. They will eat when they are hungry, and my son wouldnt take a bottle if i was anywhere around.. smart little turd wasnt he?? LOL.

He was fine after that weekend. He was about 7 months old when we did that. Besides the fact that he started biting!!

Hope this helps!
K.

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H.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,
I nursed my daughter until she was 21 months. I put bandage on both side of my breast and told her that I have a boo-boo for 2 weeks. She only cried the first day, but she wanted to look at it everyday for about 10 days. It was much easier than I expected. If you are ready, she is ready. Just relax, you both will be fine.

H.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I didn't try to start weaning my son until he was 20 months but I think the strategies could be the same.

Look for something else the two of you can do that is "special" i was weaning in August/September, so our special thing was drinking lemonade together (one cup two straws... very romantic). It's got to be something special just for the two of you, and it may replace nursing as the special mommy time.

HTH,
T.

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L.Y.

answers from Sacramento on

I dont know if this will work for others but when my daughter was 15 months I could not stop nursing her, lol. I gave in to her all the time and it was causing more problems with sleep and clinginess issues. She would fall downa nd run to me and pull up my shirt at the park or grocery store! lol though I loved nursing at homea nd quiet times, I could not seperate the two and she bagan to use me as the human pacifier!

Luckily I had family in town, so my husband told me to stay the night at my parents (since it was mainly the nighttime nursing issue) and it worked. Dad had more patience and she had NO CHOICE other than take a sippy cup with water or cry it out. And since I wasnt there I did not feel guilty and give in! It was the best 2 nights yet! lol
It also helped when she was 2 months old, she rfused to be bottle fed which was hard also. I went in for Emergency Gall bladder surgery and was hospitalized 1 week with complications. guess what! she use a bottle! She had too and dad was great with her. When I got home she resumed nursing thankfully and continued to 15 months old.

i guess my point is, I think we make it harded by feeling guilty and giving in. If we cant do it ourselves ak for help. Take some time away during those times the baby is use to it and introduce the baby to something different while you arent there, lol

Good Luck!

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L.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My son also got sick just as I was about to wean him at 16 months, so I didn't wean him for awhile afterwards.
When I finally did wean him, he was 2 years, 2 months! It's been 4 months now since I have weaned him and he still "asks" for "mommy milk"
What I finally did was get myself ready first (I knew he would be my last baby and was a little ambivalent). And then I went cold turkey.
I found it helped to start about a month ahead to set up a bedtime routine that had other steps, book and teeth brushing. Then I shifted the nursing back so it was before those activities. "No, mommy milk is all done, it is book time now. ....it is brushing time now. .....it is sleep time now. etc." That way he wasn't upset right before sleep. Then after that routine was set up I stopped the nursing and I could then distract him with book time and brushing time afterwards and then at bed time he was not expecting to nurse so went down easier.
The only last advice I would give is if YOU still want to nurse your daughter, GO RIGHT AHEAD. It's healthy for her, and they're only babies once so if you are enjoying it too. Keep it up. :->

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello ~ My daughter had no intentions of weaning herself even at 20 months. She only breastfed at night, but I was d-o-n-e. I had tried different strategies but only one thing worked for me. I bought some "Nail Bitter." It's in the nail polish aisle at the store and is used to help people stop biting their nails. You're supposed to apply it to your nails like poslish and then when you put your fingers in your mouth, it tastes awful!

I brushed some onto my nipples and warned my daughter that "Mommy is yucky" now. She took one taste and agreed! She tried the other side, same thing. I gave her water immediately and she went to bed. I did the same thing the next night and she didn't even try a third night.

My pediatrician said it was perfectly fine as long as she wasn't drinking the bottle. The small amount on my nipples was completely harmless.

Just an idea but it worked for us!

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C.W.

answers from Bakersfield on

In my experience, babies who are breastfed according to need do not need to be "weaned." They simply wean themselves when they are ready. My older son weaned at 14 months and my 20 month old weaned at 18 months. Both of them just gradually lost interest and nursed less frequently until they just didn't ask for it any more. There was no distress involved. Good for you for making to 15 months. I wish I had nursed the older one longer. Just know that nursing until two years is perfectly normal and beneficial to the child and let her be your guide. They are little for such a short time! Just have comeback ready for all the people who are critical and realize that they may feel guilty about their own choices.

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R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

when you find out, let me know! i am doing the same thing, except without the excuse of ear infections :). ____@____.com

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E.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Because of your daughters recent illnesses, this may not be the best time to wean your daughter. I know weaning is really hard as it is, but it sounds like your breast milk is the best thing you can give your daughter if she's unable to keep to much food down or is does not have that great of an appetite, I would personally keep going. If you really want to wean her, there is always "Pediasure" that I think is helpful during times of illness for my son.
Best of luck!!

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A.A.

answers from Sacramento on

R.,
I don't have any suggestions on the weaning process, but I do have a personal experience with the ear infections AND the tubes for the ear canal. I would seriously look into getting a second or third oppinion before you have your daughter get tubes placed in her ears. The reason I say this is because when I was young I had tubes placed in both my ears. I had serious complications with the removal proceedure. The right ear tube didn't come out on it's own. The doctor that went in to remove the tube slipped and puntured my eardum resolting in 90% hearing loss in my right ear. I still suffer from cronich ear infections and have only 30% of my hearing in my right ear. I also suffered from ear infections even with the tubes in my ears (notably less but they did not go away all together). My intent here is not to discredit your doctor or scare you, only to implore you to get another oppinion and ask more questions about the process. I know I am not the only person who has had problems with tubes, I have spoken with many people at the Sacramento Center for Children Hearing And Talking (CCHAT), who work with deaf and hearing impaired children. They themselves come across serveral cases a year that are similar to what happend to me.
Please take the time and check out any other options that are available.
Best regards,

Al

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J.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I weaned my son at about the same age and he did not want to give it up. After breast feeding one day I had small teeth marks around my nipple and I showed him and told him that he was too big to breast feed now that he had all those teeth. I also said that it hurt me and I needed a band aid on them, so at the times he was used to breast feeding (night time, before bed, etc.) I would put a bandaid on my nipples and tell him I had boo boo and we couldn't take off the bandaids. I only had to do this for about 3-4 days and he didn't ask again.

Good luck!
J. in Sacramento

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S.R.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Hello,

First, how often are you nursing? You'll need to start by slowly omiting one feeding a day until your only nursing once a day. I was able to get it down to one feeding at nighttime. She had been nursing about 3 - 4 times per day. It took me about 1 month to get her down to one feeding per day. You can do things like cuddle, play with her, give her a snack, read her a book, etc. during those "feeding times" to distract her from nursing. My Daughter sucks her thumb and loves to twril her hair or my hair. So, I just started to hold her in my arms at bedtime and usually within 10 - 15 minutes she is out cold and I just put her in the crib for the night. My best friend weaned her son my putting vinegar on her nipples. It sounds pretty gross, but it totally worked. He didn't like the taste and got over it really quick. A lot of moms swear by having Dad be the one to rock them to sleep or get up with them in the am for distraction purposes - because she will associate you with nursing. Hope that helps some. I was really dreading weaning my daughther but it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Good luck!

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