Yesterday I was at my wit's end...looking for some advice (esp. anyone who has experience with OCB). I'm convinced my teenager has issues with OCB combined of course with her being a teenager(a double whammy!). I've diagnosed it based on her behavior since she was a toddler (not medically diagnosed, if there is a difference). How do I get through to her? Do I discipline? What's the difference between a habit and OCB by the way? Are there any books anyone would suggest me to read or has anyone experienced something similar? Right now, her main issues concern (1) her hair, and (2) me eating. She has a compulsive desire to look for split ends in her hair -- sometimes she's not even aware she's doing it -- and it's caused a section of her hair by her bangs to go bald (fortunately her other hair can cover the spot). Any hair out of place just drives her nuts as well. Yesterday she got a haircut (a very nice looking one) and she went beserk later in the day because she couldn't keep it poofed and didn't know how to use the hairspray to keep the desired look. (2) The second issue concerns me eating -- she goes beserk listening to me eat, watching me eat, whatever I put in my mouth to eat or swallow causes a long tirade on her part. Sometimes I just ignore her, sometimes I react. She swears she can hear me when she's at one end of the house behind a closed door and I'm at the other. It's affeced our family dinners (we no longer have them), as well as going out to eat (which we don't). We've tried all sorts of things to deal with this (it's been a few years and its only gotten worse), but it's not working. She reacts similarly to my husband when he eats, but not as extreme. He just laughs it off and continues on.
Sounds like OCD and Auditory Sensory Issues. I would take her to see an Occupational Therapist to have her evaluated and possibly a physiologist (which the OT can recommend). In the mean time try letting her where (big) headphones while you are eating. Like the Bose sound canceling ones. That may help with the sound issues. Good luck!
My son's Occupational Therapist is Eric Graffeo in Clearwater,###-###-#### we love him.
M., first let me say that I am a therapist; but not a doctor. I'd suggest that you take this serious and take her to a psychiatrist. The difference between habit and OCD is exactly what the words suggest O= the thought obsession and the C= the compulsion of not being able to stop yourself from doing the act. Hair pulling or such is called Trichotillomania and that's a whole different story, but related to anxiety disorders. All of which are completely neurological and treatable with the correct medication if needed and the correct counselor or doctor. Try to understand that if it's this hard on you being near her....just imagine what it's like being her. It's tough, especially if she can't control it. So, I'd take her to the doc. If you prefer homopathic methods, that might work too, acupuncture works wonders, but all of her symptoms sound similar to OCD. Best of luck, be patient...you can get her help.
You know, I went crazy until I learned that this is normal. I read this book by these two psychotherapists that basically explained what goes on in teenager's brains...ie, it really is changing...and thus these crazy moments are normal. They have a blog, I go to for advice and tips :) http://www.transitioningparents.blogspot.com/
i have worked with kids with ocd and have some ways to help but i think you should take her to a therapist before it gets worse.
You need to speak to her Doctor about these issues. She sounds like she may have OCD - which is not a behavior issue but a neurological (sp?) issue. It maybe best to have her evaluated by a Neurolgist and even a Therapist of some sort. She may work with behavior modification or maybe even medication.
The Hair issue sounds definately OCD and the eating - does she react to other noises or such? She could have a sensory sensativy (sp?) issue. (Sorry my spelling is off today) She is though old enough to learn she will have to deal with it, ignore it, react correctly or just remove herself from the room if appropriate.
Hi M.. My heart goes out to you because I can only imagine what you go through every day. I am guessing by OCB you mean obsessive compulsive behavior or disorder? If yes I don't know how much I can help except to strongly encourage you to seek psychotherapy for her. I work in the mental health field and have for many years. I am not a doctor, more like a counselor. Sometimes this unhealthy behavior can be masking something else like anxiety, depression, frustration, anger, etc. There are a lot of great therapists out there and at this point I really would get her to see a doctor since it has been going on for a few years. This is definitely not normal behavior for a child her age. I wish you and your family lots of luck!
I wish you the best with your daughter. I see in your profile that you live in Sarasota. I live in Bradenton. I use Dr. Mike Hamilton, Phd. for help with issues with my daughter. (She is 8 1/2 & I am a single mom) He is so good with all ages. His phone # is ###-###-####. All the best, M.
Hi M.,
Homeopathy can be an incredible way to unwind compulsive behaviours, critical behaviors, and self esteem stickiness(who else do we project self esteem stuff onto than our moms?). I have a homeopath in Florida I love, Martin Keane (classicalmedicine.net I think), and I know he does phone consults or maybe he could refer you to a good certified homeopath in your area. (Homeopathy depends heavily on the skill of the practitioner; with some homeopaths I have seen less results, but I've seen great things in my life and in others' lives with a really excellent homeopath like Marty.)
I would consult her doctor about these behaviors. You could very well be right in your assumption. He can better tell you what to do and most likely a councilor or some kind of medication. My grandaughter of 10 yrs, had behavioral problems and trouble with school and after several tests by her Doctor, has been diagnosed with ADD and is on meds that have made all the difference in the world along with home schedule changes. I know this is a different problem than your but her doctor is the best one to consult about this.
It sounds like you are describing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I believe that if you've tried and tried and continue to fail you need to give someone else a try. You might need to take her in for an evaluation, I know seeing a Psychiatrist is taboo, however, if there are real issues then you need someone who is trained in that area to help you so you can get back to having family dinners again. The answer is not always medication, but there are different therapies that are in place now that can help.
I would take her to a therapist, whether it's an organic disorder or a behavior issue it would be a good idea for her to have someone to talk to about being a teenage girl (which I remember clearly as being awful).
As far as psychiatric drugs go, I was put on Paxil at seventeen for depression, anxiety and OCD. I was told that it wouldn't be addictive. Once I felt like I had made progress in dealing with the panic attacks (the medication took the edge off and I was able to see that I COULD actually talk myself out of them) I brought up the idea of trying to quit altogether but was brushed off. I disliked the side effects from the antidepressants, had no health insurance and little money but was unable to stop taking them because I would suffer from withdrawal if I missed even one dose. Over the next ten plus years I saw a number of doctors and was switched from Paxil to Celexa (the new Paxil) to Lexapro (the new Celexa). One doctor prescribed Wellbutrin to combat the side effects of I forget which I was on at the time (totally the opposite direction I wanted to go in) and one told me that withdrawal was my body's way of telling me I needed the drugs. They were always willing to charge me for an office visit and write me a prescription but were uninterested in how I felt or my desire to stop medicating.
Recently I quite by accident found a nurse practitioner who was open to the idea of helping me wean myself off the medication. She switched me to Zoloft which, since it was prescribed at a higher dosage, gave me room to cut back.
It was a slow and INCREDIBLY painful process that took at least six months. Each time I would cut the dose in half I would go through at least a week of nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, pain and weakness. My skin would itch, I get these electrical shock like sensations throughout my whole body and I'd have terrible nightmares. As soon as I felt better it was time to do it again.
While I wouldn't go so far as to say that the drugs weren't helpful initially (when I started I was barely able to leave the house due to debilitating panic attacks) I do wish that I would have received more support from my doctors towards eventually living without them. I feel better now without the drugs then I EVER have and am SO GLAD I was able to quit before I got pregnant as I would hate to have faced the possibility of my child being born and having to go through withdrawal.
PLEASE consider psychiatric drugs only as a last resort. I tell you this not because I don't want you to not put your daughter on medication should she need it, I just want you to be better informed than my parents and I were. If her doctor does decide that medication would help make sure that he/she has a plan for eventually getting her off of them.
M. first of all I do not have any knowledge on OCB, sorry, but I did want to comment on your daughters behavior with your eating. Againlet me start off by saying I am not trying to diagnosis her. This is a personal observation. My son is Very HF Autistic (14 years old) and one of his issues is sensory things. When we are at the table eating he tells all of us that we are eating to loud, breathing to loud, leaning to close to him...you get the point. Sometimes we have to eat in the dark because he doesn't like the light on; he says its to bright. I have always been told that this was a sensory issue, no one has ever suggested OCB. Maybe you can have this checked out. It sounds to me, that if she is having alot of issues in the areas you mentioned that you might want to get her to a developmental pediatrician and see if they can put a finger on it medically. A correct diagnosis would help you understand what you are dealing with and how to deal with it. There are numerous books out there and internet sites you can go to for help, however it may be kind of hard for you to know what to read and what not to, if you are not positive on what the issue is. I can't imagine having a daughter that may have some other issues besides the main ones all of us deal with. I have a 11 year old and as far as I can tell she suffers from; what am I going to wear today, somebody doesn't like me, you don't understand me, you're mean illness:) which is enough in itself. I am not trying to make light of your daughters issues, just thought I would make you smile. If you would like to get her evaulated call asap because some of these doctors have waiting lists up to a year long. I hope this helps, and I'm sure you will get other responses from people who may have a child diagnosed with ocb that can provide you insight and suggestions. Hang in there!
Homeopathy will help your daughter immensely. There is a homeopathic doctor at the East West School of Healing. I would enjoy knowing if you followed through on this.
M., My daughter that is 15 now used to have to wash her hand all the time to the point of making them dry, She didn't relize that she was washing her had constenly atell her sib and me pointed out to her we told her she ack like she has OCD. After pointing it out and talking to her about it she seem to grow out it took us tell she was 13 befor we said anything to her. We didn't bring it up a whole lot after we talked to her about it and she worked on it on her own. As for the ears maybe she just got very sensitve ears my husband is a Music Minister and he her thing that the rest of us in the house can't even hear like when you think you turned the TV off and it really not he knew because he can hear that little hum the TV makes and my son that is fixing to turn 4 he also has senitive ears. So the hair and the hearing you eat could be to differ things your dilling with. I not sure why my daughter was washing her had so much, but we don't have to deal with it anymore. Good Luck KST
I have a younger sister that has similar hair issues...she does have OCD, but, with her it went untreated for years, she is now 21...they always said it was just a "habit" and never mentioned OCD. She was finally diagnosed with OCD once it got to the point that she as pulling out her eyelashes and plucked out all of her eyebrows...it finally got so bad that she went to counseling and was put on an anxiety medication, which has helped tremendously....good luck! Make sure you try and look into it before it progresses!
Hello M.,
Have you ever heard of Reiki? It is an awesome art of moving energy around in the body. I have 2 people I would highly recommend. It is nothing more than a holistic way to settle the mind and body down and all you do is lay down while the reiki master moves around you holding their hands over you and allowing energy to move.
Sometimes we get stuck dealing with things that get out of control and we just need help getting un-stuck!!! Might be a great thing for you as well.
I am sorry, but children can be very mean and say the nastiest things ever, but you must step up to the plate and not allow her to destroy the 'dinner hour' as that is the most incredible time the family can share together.
I wrote a book on mistakes I made because I did not hold my child accountable for his bad behavior and in the end, it really ended up destroying the family. Don't let one person's attitude rule the family. Set some boundaries with her and be consistent.
Massages are another thing that is awesome to mellow the stress as well as accupunture.
Good Luck M.!
L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!" (They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com
Hi, I totally understand your agony, I have a soon to be 12 year old son who has OCD,(diagnosed), he cleans constantly, takes shower after shower, he wakes up in the middle of the night to straighten his covers because he cant stand the fact that his bed is messy, he wont sleep under the covers. At one point he couldnt sleep unless he was wet, he would have to take a shower and go directly to bed, if he dried before he went to sleep he would take another shower. I took him to a doctor where I live and he has to focus on one habit at a time and he has to make himself aware of the habit and we made a chart and the first night we focused on the shower thing...and once we made him totally aware of what he was doing and made him concentrate on his behavior and little by little it got better and better. Then we made him focus on the next behavior, he still doesnt sleep well and I have had to buy him melatonin (natural dietary supplement) to help him fall asleep to prevent him from waking up and making his bed. My best suggestion to you is to find a doctor your daughter likes and hope that she can deal with whatever her fear is with her hair and the eating thing. It is a unrealistic fear that they consume themselves with, once they deal with thier fear then they can learn to deal with thier bothersome habits.
