All I can say, is wow!! You're amazing to take on all of that and still wants to improve your life. I must say that if you were able to feel better about your body by exercising and eating healthy, it would give you the physical and mental boost that you're in need of for your hectic lifestyle.
I have had quite a bit of success doing a couple different things. Here is what I did.
After I had my son, i did weight watchers - the core plan - counting points but having A LOT of "free" foods to choose from as well. I wasn't ever able to get into a routine of exercising and was just too exhausted to expect it from myself at that point. I was trying to be realistic with what I could handle. The change in my eating habits was drastic enough and an improvement that I was able to lose about 35 lbs. Now that I'm closer to my ideal weight, it's not coming off as easily. I still need to lose between 15-20 lbs.
Just recently I switched from weight watchers to just counting calories. I realized that even though I was choosing healthy foods with weight watchers (skim milk, an apple, etc) the intake of calories was still a lot greater than the amount of calories I was burning throughout the day. The basic theory that you need to burn more calories than you consume for there to be a deficient and in turn you lose weight. I was scared at the idea of counting calories because it seemed so tedious, but it's really not that bad.
www.thedailyplate.com has a way to just search for every food out there including fast food and you can keep track of what you eat and it'll subtract it for you. It will figure out how many calories you can eat in a day in order to lose weight. You can track your weight as well. You can enter calories manually if it's a recipe that you've made. I use www.sparkrecipes.com to enter my recipes and the serving sizes and it will tell me how many calories is in a serving. i save it and just add one recipe a day and will eventually have all of what I use in there. It seems like a lot of work, but I think it's worth it.
With weight watchers you would need the info to know how to get started. obviously the meetings wouldn't be practical with your busy schedule, but you can join online and get the info on there (really you could just join for a month, get the info you need, then cancel since I think it's pretty pricey).
Anyway, good luck to you. Oh and I do TurboJam as a work out (only the 20 minute work out for now because life is hectic. I hope to work up to the 45 min work out). I really enjoy it. You can order it online with amazon or beachbody.com