Hi! I'm a step-mom to a beautiful 5 y.o. girl who has just started kindergarten. First, I must explain--we are a loving family with a great 4-parent system of communication. Our daughter's mom had a conference w/the teacher the 2nd week of school. Seems our girl won't talk to the teacher, won't answer questions when asked, if the teacher tells her no or asks her to to something, she will pout--stand in one spot, stare at the floor, become a statue. A couple weeks ago, the teacher had to call her mom-she had a 30-minute "tantrum" in the class, & the teacher was concerned about our child. Her dad & I took her to the doctor for a sinus infection a couple weeks ago, & discussed this w/the doc. She suggested taking away toys, priveleges, sending her to her room. If these things don't work, she suggest we take her to a therapist for evaluation. Mental health issues run in my husband's family so we are all concerned. I've been part of this family since anna was 23 months old. She's always been stubborn, prone to tantrums, finicky eater--to the point we'll make something different just for her. She's bossy, hits/kicks the animals, & when you try to correct her, she cries/screams. We've started working with her by taking toys away, taking away cartoon time, & her mom has stopped making separate meals for her. If she doesn't eat at supper, she leaves her plate on the table. If she asks for something to eat later, Mom offers to heat her plate up for her. If she eats, fine. If she doesn't ask, mom doesn't offer snacks before bedtime.
Anyone ever experience a strong-willed, controlling child? My daughter, now 19, wasn't this way at all. Both parents agree they've been too easy on her, & we all want to fix it. Anyone got suggestions?
Your step-daughter sounds just like my 6 year old son. He has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Things are slowly getting better with therapy.
I'm not suggesting she has anything like that but I would suggest taking her to see a psycologist & possibly starting her in behavior therapy.
Good luck to you! Sounds like she has a wonderful support system :)
Hi R.. I noticed that one of the children is already diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. My son also has Asperger Syndrome. I have to tell you that, reading your comments here, it sounds very similar to what my son was doing at that age that sent up red flags for us to have him evaluated. With one child already on the autism spectrum, I would suggest evaluation for Asperger's. It seems that everything you're saying here points at it. I know no one wants anything to be wrong but don't ignore the possible signs b/c the earlier it is caught & you get her the supports & therapies, etc. that she needs, the better the outcome. Luck to you all & I hope everything turns out well!
~L.
just stay on track and be firm in what you have all resolved to do. It will take time and LOTS of energy and consistency on all of your parts.....but in the end she will be a happy, well adjusted child. Just don't stop - it takes sometimes 6 mths to a year to break habits that have been allowed to form in our children. Keep up the good work, seems as if you guys are doing great.
After working in a mental health facility for many years, I would suggest that you have her evaluated by a psychiatrist. Then if necessary, depending on what he/she determines you may need to start behavioral therapy. Any time there is cruelty to animals that is a big sign. Most children are aggressive at some point, but being aggressive conctantly is another sign. There may not be any issues, but having her evaluated will put everyone's mind at ease and if there are some issues then the earlier interventions are started the more helpful they will be. Good luck!
I noticed that the 12 yo has Asperger's. Has the 5 yo ever been tested? It can run in families. If she checks out fine, then I'd recommend a good discipline book with a step by step approach.
I highly recommend Ginger Plowman's book, "Don't Make Me Count to Three". The advice is practical and effective.
R.,
I don't want to discourage having her evaluated but I have a three year old that has acted that way for over a year and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him... they said it is called "spoiled rotten syndrome".
Me and his father got a divorce in August. He was the "anything goes" parent. Just in less than 2 months there is a big difference.
They told me not to send him to another room at first. Just set him in a chair in the corner where he cant see the tv. If screaming or crying last longer than 1 minute. Then you remove them from the family room.
I make him carry his little chair to his room and sit in it. He is not allowed to come out untill the crying/screaming stops AND he is calm. Of course, he loves school. They have no problems...they say he is the best kid in the class.
The improvements have been great. Her mom is doing the right thing about meal time. That was an issue that I had to correct too. He has started eating what we eat...not a lot of it...but he is tasting and liking!!!
Another aspect that you might consider is that she may be copy catting what she sees out of her sister. My 2 year old daughter repeats everything my 3 year old son says. Which is ok...she has a large vocab. but she also tries to pee standing up and likes to wear his clothes and play with only his toys. She never plays with anything of hers.
I don't know it could be a possibility....
I don't know the severity of her Asperger's but she probably gets some special attention or care taken with her....maybe that is what your 5 yr old is after.
Good luck!!! It seems to me that you have your hands full.
