Stepchild Adoption

Updated on July 30, 2009
A.W. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
4 answers

Good Morning all!!
Here I am again with another life question!! I will try to give you the most info without writing a book!! Ok I am married to a wonderful man, I have a daughter from a previous relationship. My daughter is now 10 years old and my husband is her daddy. Her bio dad does pay child support (125.00 per month,) However he never sees her calls her or has any communication with her. He went almost 4 years with no contact and then bam all of the sudden wanted a part of her life, that lasted about a week and then he was gone again. Now his mom (great lady btw) will take her a few times a year to see him. So here is the deal, she has asked to be adopted. She wants to make my husband her “forever for real daddy.” We are thrilled. We sat down with her and talked to her about what that would mean. That if anything ever happen to me that she would get to stay with my husband, and our family, that her Bio dads parents will forever be a part of her life, and that if she still wants to ever see her bio dad she can. Here is where my questions start, I first will call the Bio dad and tell him what my daughters request is, and see how he for sure feels about this. I am 99.###-###-####% sure that the bio dad will without a doubt sign over his parental rights. However I have not a clue on how to do this? Is there a “do it yourself way?” Do we hire an attorney? We are prepared to take this step. However we don’t want to spend a ton of money. The other issue is we want a Christian lawyer if we do indeed need a lawyer. Can anyone point us in the direction that we need to go in? I really appreciate your help.

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S.N.

answers from Oklahoma City on

A.,
Congrats! A child wanting to be adopted by their step-parent who is always there for the good and the bad is a huge deal. You've probably got a bit of a road ahead of you though. I've done a lot of research on the subject, because I'm looking ot adopt my step-son. You will need an attorney, and I reccomend one that specializes in family law. There will have to be a termination of rights of the non-custodial parent. Usually there is home observation done by dhs, but sometimes that is waived in the case of step-parent adoption assuming that the everyone in the home has been living in a family unit for a minimum of 1 to 2 years. And then there's getting all the papers drawn up, going to court, do you want a new birth certificate for the child reflecting the new changes of parent, any kind of name changes you or she would want, such as last name, etc. It's kind of a long drawn out process, I haven't made it through it yet, but we're working towards it at the moment. I wish you luck and hope that this has helped you out some. Good luck and congrats!
S.

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B.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You cannot do an adoption yourself. You will have to get an attorney. The attorney will know how to prepare the parental rights termination paperwork and how to prepare the adoption petition. Use an attorney with a background in adoptions - it will cost you less in the long run as they know what they are doing. When you call attorneys, ask for an estimate of costs - they do many step-parent adoptions each year and will have a pretty good idea.

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N.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You will need an attorney. My husband adopted my daughter almost 2 years ago. I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to message me if you need anymore info.

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B.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I believe every adoption requires an attorney. They have to draw up all the paperwork to make it legal. I would recommend John Foley, ###-###-####. He was my attorney for my daughter's adoption and is helping me now with my adoption of her half-brothers. My adoptions were through the foster care system, but he does other family law as well.

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