Starts Speech Therapy, Now Cries All the Time?

Did you get to sit in on the speech therapy? When my son began speech at this age I sat in on the therapy for the first few weeks - and then after a few months I needed to do so again. Speech therapy is work - the therapist has to keep him on task, and has to teach him things are not natural to him. Some therapists are VERY good, and have a natural way with kids and find ways to persuade them to do difficult things. Others are not as good and find it awkward to get kids to do stuff and are more rigid in their approach.

Remeber he's only been on the planet for 3 years. He's still so little and he wants to be with his mommy - he doesn't want to do things that are difficult -he wants to play. He is 3...

I would try to sit in on speech, bring a magazine & sit quietly in the corner jsut to observe the dynamics. Do not get involved in the "class" in any way unless the therapist asks you to. If you think she is not a good match for your son ask to have a different one for him and see if that makes a difference. It may or may not.

Set up expectations in advance. Tell him that you know he can go to pre-school, babysitter, etc. and have fun. Tell him that you are so proud of him for beginning speech therapy - that he must feel like such a big boy. Give him postivie reinforcement. Maybe a small chart with stickers, a sticker for each time he goes to preschool without a fuss, or to speech, etc. When he's got one row of stickers (5 boxes in a row?) tell him he gets a special something. I used to use Rescue Heros for my son - he loved them. So after a row of stickers we'd go pick out a rescue hero. after a week or two discontinue the sticker/rewards, but continue to give him hugs, tell him how proud you are of him, how you knew he could do it, etc.

This can also be the beginning of a new developmental stage too. Whenever my kids began some new level of developement, or before a growth spurt, there would be a teary, shy, tired, cranky period. We had teary relapses plently of times over the years. My daughter had a very tough 2nd grade - although 1st grade was a breeze. Who knows. Just love him and remind him that you ALWAYS come back - that there is no way you would ever leave him because you love him so much.

Good luck!

It may not be the speech, per se, but that he is working on an area that makes him uncomfortable, because when kids need speech, there is already some degree of frustraion and feeling of being out of control of what is going on around them, to go work on that with someone they don't know may just be too much that is out of his control. You should rearange your schedule so that you can be with your son, or find another speech therapist that can accomodate your schedule better. If this is school based therapy, seek private therapy too, school based therapy is only designed to make him educationally functional, not to maximize his development, which is what you want. Have the private therapist pick up where the public leaves off and always supplement public serivices.

Therapy is hard. He may have less left in his tank for a while if he is working on something that is really hard for him. If the separation issues continue, you should explore the possilbity that the speech and the separation anxiety is a not a coincindence and have a complete evaluation to be sure that he is doing OK with all areas of development.

M.

He may need some time to get used to this new situation but I really couldn't say. I don't know your child better than you. If he was accustomed to spending time with strange adults and was always fine then I may attribute the change in attitude toward the teacher and see if I could get him a new instructor but if he was always skiddish around strangers. I would just try to encourage him and help him through.

Only you know your child. I would still try to encourage him towards independence and possibly get a new instructor for him. Perhaps their teaching method isn't working best with his demeanor.

I wish you the best through this really tough situation.

Can you stay with him during his speech? It took my little one about 6 months before he could walk through the door without clinging to me.

I think you've gotten good advice about staying with your son during therapy for awhile. My daughter did some therapy around that age and it didn't seem to affect her at all but she definitely disliked it after awhile. So I let her take a break and started again this summer when she was 4.5yrs. She's been completely fine with it and more importantly, we see results. I think the therapy she had earlier was a complete waste of time. My daughter mainly was hard to understand and in hindsight, I'd have let it go. My friend's son has more of a syndrome type thing so I can see pushing it at a younger age. But now I wonder if they're just too young at 3ish if there's no medical type issue. So something to consider - does he really need it or it's just the pressure everyone feels now to have their child do everything perfectly so young? Btw - my brother-in-law didn't speak at all until he was 3ish and he's now literally famous and one of the smartest people I've ever met.

J.,

Just a quick thought. If your son is still having problems with speech therapy in a couple of months, you might want to look at a book called "Play to Talk" by Dr. James MacDonald. He is also the moderator of a yahoo group called "Communicating Partners". Dr. MacDonald teaches parents how to teach their children to communicate through baby steps. First you mimic what your son can do, give him the space to respond, then after a few turns you challenge him to try something different.

Here's an example of a conversation that might occur.

A little boy is playing with a ball. His mom walks in the room and asks if she can play.
He rolls the ball to her and she says, "Ball." She rolls the ball back to him and then waits for her son to respond.
After a minute or so he says, "Ball."
She waits to see if he has anything else to say and asks for him to roll the ball back to her, then repeats, "Ball" and rolls the ball back to him.
This game continues for a few minutes and then she adds, "Red Ball" and waits to see if he wants or is able to follow her example.

Basically the parent is matching their child in ability and giving the child small challenges to try to expand their speech.

Good luck with your little one.

C. J.

Speech therapy is demanding on little ones. I have a 2 year old and 3 year old with speech issues. My oldest loved to "play" with the speech therapist and would do anything that was requested of him for as long as the session lasted. My youngest one is the opposite. When they try to get him to do things that are hard for him, he looks to flee the situation. It's that fight or flight kicking in. It's hard and he wants to get outta there. He also gets very frustrated that he is unable to communicate through words. I think it would really help for you to get a sitter for a short time and go into speech with him for now. I know it's hard. I have been there. My oldest went to speech 4 times a week for an hour each time and I had to get a sitter for 2 sibblings. I couldn't afford it so I relied on family and friends. It was rough, but it made a difference.

This has happened several times with my son and his therapies, for several different reasons:

1st Time: His ST was great and a very kid friendly person but my son just wanted to be left alone so he was using his voice (crying, throwing a fit) to get her to back off. The ST was also challenging him and he wanted none of that. She ignored his behavior and continued what she was doing with his therapy and after a short while, he realized that he wasn't going to get what he wants and, hey! this is a lot of fun after all.

2nd Time: Different therapist. This time, the therapist was not kid-friendly, not encouraging and my son picked up on it quick. She had a very sour disposition and my son picked up on that right away and reacted to it in spades. By this time, he was used to receiving therapy and having really great experiences with all of his therapists but this particular therapist was a new one and she just wasn't the right person for the job. After talking to her about the situation and not seeing any improvement, we had to let her go.

Another Reason: I do notice that my son gets more defiant, crying and whiney just before he comes down with a cold or flu bug. Because he has a language delay, he's not able to tell me that he feels crappy and not right, and he may not be aware of it himself. But if I see my normally happy kid become really cranky and whiney for an extended period, and not a lot has changed with his daily life, then I start looking for symptoms of a cold or flu.

I hope this helps give you some idea about what is going on with your son. If you have any other questions, please feel free to PM me.