I know toddlers have fits and tantrums and that teething can be a huge factor in mood shifts and mirror illness. BUT, I'm starting to get very concerned about my son's behavior over the past week. He seems fine all day, though he's noticeably more irritable and has been fighting off some kind of cold or severe allergies too. Normally at night, he goes to bed without too much issue. He co-sleeps and we all lay down and he doses off, usually nurses to fall asleep. The last few nights, he's gone into total panic when it's time for bed, he's very congested and isn't breathing well, so I'm sure that's part of it, but he's climbing out of bed, going hysterical, crying in these panicky spurts and making himself sick on purpose, he starts screaming at the top of his lungs and gagging. We stood in a steamy shower with him for over an hour one night until all hot water was gone. It's just scaring me because he's completely not himself. This is becoming a pattern every night now for 4 nights and what usually happens is after lots of rocking and Tylenol drops and vapor rub and coaxing, he calms and crashes out because he's so exhausted. By the morning, he's fine, he's pretty much himself all day.
I don't like medicating my child and we typically turn to alternative options and this is causing tremendous stress between my husband and I because quite frankly, he just doesn't have the patience that I do in dealing with it and not losing his cool. I don't like dragging my son to the doctor just to be told this is probably a phase and there are no indicators of serious illness, no fever, rash, etc. I just want to know if other mom's have been through this kind of shift in behavior or if in others experience this could be an indicator of a bigger problem beyond over tired or teething...?
(*He's 27 months and I would quit the co-sleeping, but we do it because he's terrified of laying down by himself, once he's asleep he's usually okay, but needs cuddles and the sense of someone else there to fall asleep)
Yep, sounds like an ear infection to me too. My baby NEVER had a fever with hers. The only symptom was screaming when lying down and just generally being cranky beyond her normal self. Take him to the doc and Pete's sake, give him some tylenol or motrin!
Just get him seen at the pediatrician - he's had a cold, he could have an ear infection at this point or pneumonia or something else and you won't necessarily be able to figure it out or treat him on your own. Our daughter was sick with a cold last month but getting increasingly irritable and not sleeping well as the week went on. Then when she spent one night waking up 3 or 4 times, screaming about her ear hurting, I said that was it. I took her to the doctor, they saw she had an ear infection and she got put on antibiotics. I kept her on either Tylenol or Motrin too. Within 2 days she was herself again.
You mention trouble breathing. Asthma usually presents ar nighttime and can often be absent during daytime hours. In toddlers there might not be any recognizable wheezing, but rather cough, agitation and rapid shallow breathing during an attack.
When my two year old developed asthma, it took too long for her to be diagnosed and treated because, after being up all night with breathing problems, we'd take her to her doctor the next morning and she would appear perfectly normal. Finally we ended up rushing to the ER during one of the episodes, and her blood oxygen was so low she was on the verge of
collapse. I felt terrible that I hadn't recognized that her unusual agitation and combativeness during the episodes was actually due to confusion from inadequate oxygen to the brain.
It might be worth a trial of albuterol during the breathing problems to see if it helps.
EAR INFECTION!?!? Take him eot the pediatrician. This is exactly how my kids acted, perfectly fine during the day, maybe mild cold symptoms, and then absolute terror about laying down in bed (creating pressure in the ear). Tylenol helped a bit, but not much. I always felt so guilty when I realized how much pain they must have been in.
Get him checked out by a pediatrician. It can't hurt to rule out anything medical.
You might not want to hear this, but have you tried letting him sleep by himself? Some kids sleep much better that way. My daughter, my first baby, she liked having her own bed to sleep in. Not that she wasn't a cuddly child or very affectionate, but when it came to sleeping, she liked her own space.
It's not abandoning him to let him try to lay down on his own. Co sleeping isn't working. It's worth a try.
Best wishes to you.
How old is he?
If he's in the toddler stage, he might just be exercising his will on you. :)
I have a friend whose (now 2 yr old) starting making himself throw up and screaming at bedtime right around 18mos. They finally - just recently - got the point where they let him cry it out. They didn't know what else to do.
He'd throw up multiple times as a measure to get them to keep coming back into his room and prolonging bedtime.
I've never heard of this kind of extreme over teething (although anything's possible). Usually when it comes to big fits like this it's either something like night terrors (usually in older kids around 2-3) or just plain tantruming.
If you think it's hard to break 'bad routines' now, wait until he is 3 and 4 years old. It will be worse--and he'll be stronger, more confident, and determined to get his way.
If you don't want to be co-sleeping when he is 3 1/2 or 4 years old, then you need to fight the battle now. It will be far more excruciating to transition him to sleep in his own bed when he is older.
As for his current bedtime behavior, he may have an ear infection (although I would think he would demonstrate this behavior during the day and not just at bedtime if it was an ear infection). It may be him entering the next phase--the trying 3's--pushing the boundaries, figuring out how to manipulate situations to get his desires (stay up later, attention from mom or dad, getting bedtime snacks, etc.). I found we were most successful at this phase when we followed clear routines and didn't deviate, so that my daughter know exactly what to expect and understood what her wiggle room was.
Good luck!
Listen to your husband and Meredith M :)
Don't know if you've tried a cool mist vaporizer? When my kids are congested it's the only thing that helps at night. You have to turn it up quite a bit to have an effect. Hang in there! You are doing awesome and it will pass.
Almost sounds like an anxiety attack... I'd take him to the pediatrician just in case. If it's nothing, then ask what things can you try (but if they say not to co-sleep tell them to think of alternative ideas) to help his anxiety for bedtime lessen.
My almost 6 y/o daughter is finally transitioning out of our bed and these almost 6 years has been sweet. I didn't push her to leave because I knew once she's out, we'd never have that time back again. There is nothing wrong with a toddler or pre-schooler co-sleeping still. It's only a problem if Mommy thinks it's a problem. Husbands will almost always have an issue because they cannot grope and have sex with you as easily or when they want to as before baby being in the bed - but then, husbands are adults and should act like them.
I would take him to the ped. to get checked out, just so you can mark that off the list.
Most 2y go through a phase like this, and most do it when transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed. Its their way of trying to control something. I was a little surprised to see that you say that you nurse him to fall asleep. He seems a bit old to me - just my opinion - to still be nursing, even if its just at bedtime. I could see a sippy cup of water for the sucking action ...
Transitioning him to a toddler bed like that of a convertible crib, with high walls on 3 sides might help in the falling asleep also. It might help him feel safe since his space is limited. If there is room in your room, you could put a toddler bed at the foot of the bed to start. That way he's sleeping in his own bed, yet still near room and the comfort that he is used to.
Example.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3764811
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3777207
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3777215
Just some ideas.
M.
Here are some tips on child sleeping by Dr. Pruett and a link with more info: http://tinyurl.com/3gzwkts
Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night. Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
Tantrums won't escalate to extreme panic and gagging if you nip them with firm discipline at the very first signs of starting EVERY TIME. Sure, when kids are sick or tired or teething (the list goes on) they are fussier. But if tantrums are not allowed, they wont' have them. If they are in pain or having real issues, they will just cry in a controlled manner, and of course should not be disciplined for that when you know they don't feel well. The crazy frenzies are a result of getting away with it. It's totally normal in kids who feel like acting out and are enabled to. Start disciplining fits at all other times and then, when you know it's just the bedtime rile up session time, start to discipline that as well when he is more familiar with the general rule.
First check the ears though and be sure there is no infection.
i am not a big doctor fan either but this could easily be an ear infection. They don't necessarily get a fever with an ear infection mine didn't. It seems to be effecting him when laying down which is common with ear infections they don't hurt when they are upright. Mine showed no pain at all with his ear infections till this last round of antibiotics. It was like when the antibiotics started working then he could feel the pain. Its worth checking into
Did you introduce a new food? Maybe it's the increasing pollen? See his pedi, perhaps a trip to an allergist is in order.
Good luck,
: ) MD
