Starting Kindergarten

If money isn't that much of an issue, V-tech has video games that teaches letters and numbers. Most libraries also have video games on the computer that teaches similar things. Good luck.

Y.

I read what you wrote and have to ideas for you. First if he is in preschool ask the teacher what she thinks. My daughter's teachers are so helpful. Second you can find out what school he will be going to and give them a call. Ask for the child study team and talk to them. I know with my daughter they are coming out to her classroom to watch her for a day. Then they will test her out of school. This will show if there are any learning problems or socialization problems. I hope this helps you in some way.

I am not currently teaching because I am home with my own little ones now, but I have taught Pre-K, Kinder and 1st grade over a period of about 6 years. Expectations for entering K can vary between districts. In my experience, social maturity is the biggest determanent of readiness and success in K. Most Kindergartens are familiar with some letters especially their names. They usually aren't required to write their names. Knowing their address is always a good safety skill, but it was not a requirement in my experience. Shoe tying is a development skill which often takes a longer time for many children. He should be doing it by 1st grade. It is certainly easier for K teachers if children can do it independently, but shouldn't be required.

With a January birthday, he's not really a kid that would be borderline for sending to K unless your school district has unusual cut-offs. The typical cut-off is Sept 1st. Summer birthdays are often considered borderline especially with boys and if there are concerns about immaturity. Holding a kid with a January birthday would make him significantly older than the rest of his class.

My biggest concern would be his verbal language skills. You mentioned his interest in videos. I don't know how much time he spends playing them, but I imagine you've seen some of the literature/recommendations about minimizing time spent playing video games and watching tv. These activities do not tend to lead to very much interpersonal communication or physical activity - both of which are important. I know that there are some videos including Elmo and other friendly characters, but many contain a lot of violence as well which isn't really appropriate for little ones. The best ways to help his verbal language skills are to spend as much time as possible talking with him - talk about things you see in the car, on a walk, at the zoo, what you are building with blocks, as you play a board game, about the steps in cooking dinner, etc. Be use to use proper grammer and talk clearly. Go visit the local library and let him pick a couple books and spend plenty of time reading them. Make these trips regularly and get some new books each time. It doesn't matter what the topic is - let him pick what he'll be interested in listening to. Since he likes video games, maybe you can get him interested in board games as well which will offer an opportunity for more interaction and language usage. Perhaps you can even find a game that involves letters, colors, numbers. Just the taking turns aspect is an important maturity skill. Have him help you cook and talk about each step using words like "first, next, last." Ask him lots of questions that require more than a "yes/no" answer and show him that you are interested in his response. If it takes him a little bit of time to get it out, be patient and give him time. If he uses baby talk, rephrase his response using proper speech - don't force him to repeat after you or make him feel uncomfortable talking and making mistakes. Your goal is not to make him self-conscious talking, but to get him to talk as much as possible. Just like with any other activity, you learn to talk by doing it.

Since he just had a birthday, I imagine he's due for a well-visit at the ped. Talk with him/her about your concerns - especially the language. They should be able to get a basic idea about how he's doing developmentally. If they suspect a problem, they can refer you to the school district for evaluation and if he qualifies, he could begin receiving speech before entering K which may help make the beginning of the school year easier on you, your son, and the teacher.

If he's going to public school they have to take him. What you're discribing doesn't sound like a maturity issue so much that you're worried that educational wise he's behind the other kids.

From my experiance, the problems that you are seeing are probably being enabled by you, your husband and his brothers. My hubbie is 14 years older than his younger brother. He has other siblings too but everyone is grown and its just the one little boy in the house still. The kid is very bright but he will not do his own work becuase everyone is so much older than him so if he pretends not to know what's going on, they'll eventually do it for him.

I bet this is what goes on in your household too. When you take him away from his game and try to have him work on his letters and numbers and things he complains and doesn't get much of anything done. The way to help this is start cutting back on the games. Only allow a certain time frame or limit for him to play and schedule in more time for reading and crafts. Video games are the new tv and he needs more than that right now. Also are his older brothers in his life? I bet if they are all he sees them do is play games which makes him want to do it more. Talk to them and see if they would be willing to sit with him and read so that he gets in the habit of reading and things more than playing vgames.

As for the baby talk. When he says something in his own language are you just repsonding to him? That's not helping. from now on you should mirror him. For instance if he asks for juice in his language, tell him you don't know what he's talking about, ask if he is asking for juice. When he says yes then tell him to say 'juice' and make him repeat the question. Once he does give him the juice. After some time doing this he'll drop the baby talk becuase it doesn't get results anymore and it takes longer for him to get what he wants.

Remember that whoever provides his daycare is aware of this new tatic and also does it so that its working on all sides.

Well, as to those who say that he won't be accepted into a Kindergarden because he doesn't know his letters and numbers, shame on them. He will be accepted. These days people consider Pre-school to be the new Kindergarden. Most kids are in some sort of Daycare/Preschool situation where they are taught these things. Don't worry if your child ins't catching on to these or doesn't seem interested. Mine wasn't and he is doing fine now in First Grade. We focused on the things he was interested in and slowly branched out from there. Your son will get interested when he is ready.

As for maturity, everyone goes at their own rate. I saw the whole gammut in my son's class. Boys mature later than girls. It sounds like a stereotype, but I really think it is true. Most of the girls in his class were way ahead of the boys. The boys all seemed to suffer from "ants in the pants." Of course, the First Grade boys still have an issue with this.

A lot can happen between now and the next school year. He might surprise you. I thought it was going to be
a very long time before my son ever read anything. He just didn't seem to be able to focus long enough to do it. One day, he just started reading things. Then he got excited that he could read. Now, he tries to read EVERYTHING!
It seemed to almost happen overnight. I know it didn't, but that is how it felt. Your son will do things all in good time.

READ. READ. READ. It sounds like he will fit in better in an enviroment where his pace can be individualized. It sounds like he does have a baby sitter most of the time and it isn't communicating with him. Kids don't really thrive in public schools in my opinion there's too much not being required to be enrolled (in PA) until he's 8 is food for thought, and might give him some time to finish his video games and get into some life skills activities. Talk to a Montessori school if because the children are guided to lead themselves there which sounds like something better for him. (And he doesn't have to be able to speak let alone read or write as far as I know.) You don't want him to be under that kind of pressure in childhood. Why do you think he's more comfortable where he doesn't have interaction? Maybe if he feels better by himself right now then you could turn his attention to smothing purposeful that he can do alone. Here is somehting I came across recently - www.BrainWareforYou.com

Hello mom,
My daughter barely knew how to spell her name when she began kindergarten. The teacher worked patiently with her and by the end of the year she had all of the requirements she needed for first grade. However, there is nothing wrong with you waiting another year to start your son within the school system. There is always the oldest and youngest kid in the grade and it may give him more confidence in some issues being ahead of the class instead of trying to catch up. Work with your child and don't push him TOO hard!!

Hi, I don't know where you live but I am in DE. My oldest is in kindergarden and that is not true, she has matured and learned how to spell in kindergarden. She just turned 6, my husband and I were so suprised at how much she grew up since starting school.

Where I live there are not those requirments on the kids. The point of kindergarden is to teach them those things. So stop worrying, your child will be fine!

Well my daughter is going to kindergarten and she doesnt know how to tie her shoes but she knows everything else. Are you in Philadelphia.

As I'm sure you've been told, all kids develop at different levels. Just start him in Kindergarden and have him repeat if necessary. He'll be assessed and the teacher will let you know how he is doing. My daughter has picked up so much this year - she even started to read. She went in knowing the ABC song but not recognizing the letters. I'm sure no matter what you decide he'll be fine.

K.,

Your son sounds a lot like mine last year! When Jonathan finished preschool, I really wondered if he was ready for Kindergarten. He couldn't write his own name, and even though I felt he was really smart, he had a hard time sitting still and paying attention in preschool--I figured the first week of Kindergarten was going to be a disaster and I would end up pulling him out and either putting him back in preschool or homeschooling him.
I couldn't have been more wrong. My reluctuant learner blossomed in Kindergarten. Within two weeks he could write his name, zip his own jacket, and was volunteering to do his "homework" (letter practice!). Now at roughly the halfway point in the school year, he still has some problems paying attention and following directions, but he has learned *so much*!! He knows most of the phonics sounds for the letters of the alphabet, can write both upper and lower case letters and numbers, and counts with ease to thirty (and sometimes higher!)
The real reason all this came about was his teacher! I talked with her at the beginning of the school year about Jonathan's progress (or rather, the lack of it) and she said--"Don't worry! He's no more behind than most of the other kids, and when he sees them working and learning, he'll settle down and do it, too, to fit in with his new friends!" She couldn't have been more right. I would strongly encourage you to go to whatever open house your school district offers and talk with some of the teachers. At the same time, be prepared if things really don't work out--look into deadlines for notifying your school district if you want to consider homeschooling and look at homeschooling curricula. It never hurts to have a back up plan, just in case Kindergarten is more stressful than your child can handle. And if you ever need advice, suggestions, or just someone to talk to, don't hesistate to message me! Good luck with your son!

Hi Kimmeekakes,
I am a mother of a 18 month old boy and also a Kindergarten teacher. Are you looking to put him into public school? If that is the case, they have to accept him. It sounds like you are worried about him being able to keep up with the other children. If you send him to public school, they will evaluate him, and if they deem testing as warrented, they will contact you. It may be, that he just needs a bit more time to grow up and he may have to do 2 years of kindergarten. It all depends on what your school districts policies are on retention. I hope this is helpful!
H.

Check to see if there is a full day Kindergarten program in your area. My son had a lot of the same issues when he started and is doing awesome now. In Kindergarten he was at the bottom of the class most of the year, but now in 1st grade he is closer to the top, and in the top reading group. The school will evaluate his needs and may put him in speech therapy, occupational therapy, etc. My son did both and it worked wonders. As far as having to know certain things before he is able to start, I wouldn't worry too much about that. He should learn all of that in K. I was a little paranoid about my son getting lost and not being able to find help or communicate his need for help. I ordered him a set of military style dog tags with my name and number on them and made him wear them each day (one around his neck and one on his backpack) until I felt he was able to communicate important information well enough on his own. I just told him that if he ever got lost, to ask someone to call me and show them the tag.

Try not to worry about it too much. All kids develop at their own pace.

When I started my son in kindergarden he was not able to do his ABC's, still cannot tie his shoes,struggled with his address and phone number.He also was not able to talk clearly. He was a premature baby so he has a delay. I enrolled him with him not knowing much of everything. It all depends on the school where you will be placing him on the qualifications that your child will need. The best advice that I can give you is to use the games as a reward for taking 5 minutes to work on his name, address, ect. That way he will be able to enjoy both.

I'm not sure where you live, but in Pennsylvania, state law says a child doesn't have to attend until they are 8 years old. My mom kept my brother home until he was 7 as he had maturity issues and she is very glad that she did it (he is 23 today and also grateful she waited to send him.) He ended up being a nearly straight A student and was a "leader" in his class from 1st grade all the way through 12th.

Does your son like music? There are a lot of music based programs out there that teach letters and numbers. Maybe Hooked on Phonics would help with his speech as far as other people understanding him too.

Remember you are his mother and YOU know best, not some stuffed collar school superintendent that may pressure you to send your son before he's ready.

K.

First of all, I think my oldest child was a rising second-grader before he learned to tie his own shoes. We got him velcro shoes.

Second of all, it could be -- although it is not necessarily so -- that your child's playing too many video games. My feeling about these games is that they suck the life out of a child's day. They take away all initiative. Doing anything else is just to pass the time until they can get back on the computer. My suggestion is to take the PlayStation away.

Third, preschool used to be called "nursery school" and kindergarten involved learning to stand in line, sit in a circle, raise your hand, and don't eat the glue. At the very end of the year kids might learn their letters. If a child that age was going to be at school past lunch, he got a nap. In fact, we would get a rest in kindergarten mid-morning anyway.

If the school system wants to play on parental insecurities and Baby-Einsteinism by pushing children too fast too soon, you can opt out. There's nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with a perfectly intelligent five-year-old with vast academic potential who would rather fingerpaint than learn how to read. Especially if he's a boy. I decided that if they told me that my child was not ready for kindergarten yet I would be secretly glad.

Unfortunately, he qualified and will be going next year. He might know his address -- I'm not even sure they asked him -- and I'm pretty sure he can't tie his shoes (he's got velcro shoes too).

And fourth, there will always be mothers who try to tell you that your child is "lagging behind" to make themselves feel better, because they're secretly afraid that their children are lagging behind, too. If your child's teacher hasn't taken you aside to tell you there's a problem, don't worry about it.

If you as a parent suspect something is wrong, the school system can evaluate your child. But I wouldn't do it just because some parents says your child should know his address and how to tie his shoes by the time he's five. Remember, too, that there's almost seven months until kindergarten starts -- if your child is going next academic year. That is an incredibly long time for a five-year-old. Even if your child isn't doing something now, he may be doing it upside-down and backwards in seven months.

By the way, if you're working five twelve-hour shifts a week or more that's not enough time with your child. It means if your shift starts at 7 a.m you're not home until after dinner time. It would probably help your child's progress if you explored other work arrangements, even if you had to get some re-training.

You need to get rid of that video game and replace it with books to read to him, you need to work with him on these skills and make sure that dad gets in on this too, the older siblings can help too! Talk to him all the time, engage him while you are doing anything. Ask him about what he thinks you are doing, ask about colors, shapes etc. These activities can be done anytime, anywhere, all the time. You must engage him in order to improve his verbal skills. If that is not do-able, then start him with reader rabbit games for preschoolers and kindergarteners. These are great educational games to start with then take it from there. Also, do you take him to the library, if not, get him his own card so he can pick out his own books (you help too) and read to him as much as you can. Kindergarten is very critical because it sets the foundation for future learning. I know you want to get him started on the right track so I hope my suggestions help.

As you know, all children develop skills at different rates and ages. Perhaps a visit to the pediatrician would put your mind at rest. If she (or he) believes your child is lacking some essential skills for his age, he could be referred to an early intervention program so he is ready for kindergarten (this may be a free speech program at the school to help with his baby talk, or 1-on-1 occupational skills to learn things like tying his shoes, or other free programs [sometimes referred to as "early intervention" or "child find" or "PIE: Parents, Infants, Education"]). Another step that might put your mind at ease is to stop in at the school and ask them what your child needs to know to succeed in kindergarten. That way you are getting the information directly from the school and not interpretations of the information from other moms. The school will have a skills sheet that they can give to you. If your child is not meeting those essential skills, you can start working them into your daily routine. You can also ask to sit in on a kindergarten classroom so you can see what other children in kindergarten typically need help with during the day.

If the school and pediatrician are not concerned, then relax and enjoy your child. If they are concerned, you will have the information you need to address those skills early to help him succeed in kindergarten.

I have a couple of bits of advice. I've not had this problem with my children but a friend has had some similar problems with her almost 3 year old. My friend had a developmental specialist come in to see her child. She found that he was not developing normally. It does not mean there is anything wrong with him but now a speech therapist and a developmental specialist both come to the house to work with him. (She does not have the money for this. This is paid for through a special program she qualifies for. I don't remember if it is Healthy Start or part of Head Start. I do know that they work with Head Start.)
My first bit of advice is to talk to your child's pediatrician. They should have been checking him for developmental milestones at each check-up (including speech problems). They would probably also be able to tell you about different programs that can test him for little or no fee for learning/developmental problems at this age.
My second piece of advice is a different game system. I'm not sure what games your son is currently playing but Vtech makes a wonderful system (including a handheld one) called the Vsmile. My daughter has it. It has games for preschoolers through 2 grade. They are all learning games. Some teach math, some shapes and colors and some alphabet and phonics. If your son is into video games, this may be a way for your to teach him the basic knowledge he needs for Kindergarten.
Most important though is to talk to your doctor to make sure there isn't a larger problem than maturity. From what you said, I would be more concerned with a developmental problem or autism and these are problems you would need to speak with your doctor about. Your first step is to rule out anything physical because the approach to a physical problem can be quite a bit different from one of maturity.
Good luck with your son. I hope that my input has helped you.

Kids 'should' know their address, how to tie their shoes and how to write their name before they go to K, but at least in our school district they don't 'have' to. There are still kids out there that don't go to preschool/daycare, that don't learn those things....2 of my kids didn't go to preschool/daycare. Just this week my K'er came home with an assessment sheet, anonymous of course, that has 4 categories on it....visualizing letters, writing letters, listening to sounds, etc. The numbers for the class range from recognizing 10 letters to recognizing all 26 letters, and this is 1/2 way through the school year. K teachers are used to working with ALL levels of kids who enter K. And there would be nothing wrong with holding him back a year. There is no rule that says a child HAS to go to K when he is 5. My daughter started at age 5, turned 6 in October. She is one of the older kids in her class. But there are 2 kids that have already turned 7. You're the mom, you know your child. If you think he's ready, then by all means send him. But if not, then its your decision to not send him.

Just my opinions and experiences.

B.

Have talked to his dr about this. Just a thought, he may have a mild form of autism, my brothers son is the same way. He is really smart but has no desire to learn or communicate. They put him in a preschool that deals with this type of autism and it's helping alot. Again this is just a thought. I would definitely talk to his doctor to see what they feel.

If you don't feel that he's ready by all means hold him back. In the mean time, I suggest contacting your local school board to find out what resources they have available to help your child along. I know our school board will send a speech therapist to a child's daycare to help them prepare for school so that they will be on target when they arrive in kindergarten.

All school districts vary in what they expect of kids going into K. Our district tests kids for K readiness. They do not look at do they know letters or their address or how to tie their shoes. The test has to do with where the kids are developmentally - it includes sorting and ordering objects, completing a half finished picture, can they draw intersecting lines, move different parts of their body at the same time, etc. They make recommendations based on this test. You can force the issue and send your child if they do poorly on the evaluation, but those kids many times repeat K or get held back (or struggle) later on. If your district doesn't do this testing, I am sure there is some agency in the area who does. You should talk to your pediatrician about it.

HI SOME KIDS DO MATURE SLOWER THAN OTHERS. MY SUGGESTION WOULD BE TAKE AN HOUR OR TWO EVERYDAY AND WORK ON THESE THINGS WITH HIM. MAYBE TAKE HIM TO A DAYCARE ONE DAY A WEEK. THEN HE CAN GET USED TO A ROUTINE AND HE WILL BE AROUND OTHER CHILDREN WHICH WILL HELP HIM TO WANT TO LEARN. I WOULD LESSEN HIS TIME ON THE VIDEO GAMES AND INSTEAD HAVE HIM SIT AND WORK ON THINGS THAT ARE FUN BUT TEACHING HIM TOO, MEMORY IS A GOOD GAME. LEAP FROG HAS MANY FUN LEARNING GAMES AND SINCE HE LIKES VIDEOS GET HIM A LEARNING VIDEO GAME. WELL I WISH YOU LUCK. HE WILL BE FINE. SOON YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT HOW FAST HE LEARNS. STEPH

Every child grows and develops at different levels. While I have the opposite problem with my daughter, who won't be 5 until October, so she is not allowed to go to kindergarten, I understand your uncertainity.

In my opinion, let him go to kindergarten in Sept. The worst thing that could happen is he would repeat the grade if at the end he is not ready. I would let him try though. It is amazing what other children can teach to him, of course good and bad, lol.

I also see that he is always with you or his father. Have you thought about putting him in preschool even a couple days a week? That would probably help too.

My daughter is in Kindergarten this year. She didn't need to know how to tie her shoes (but has to wear velcro if they don't know how). Didn't need to know her address (but they practiced their phone number this year in class and it's required they know it for a grade). Yes, they DID have to know how to write their name, recognize their name, letter & number recognition.

To give you an idea of the cirriculum, they just started a unit last week on learning how to estimate. (How many blocks do you think she can hold in her hand? that kind of stuff). They did phonics, letter sounds, blending of letters, and are reading small books from their work book now.

I, too, was in shock when I found out what they needed to know to enter Kindergarten. If you have any doubt, maybe have him tested at the school he would attend to see if they think he should enter next year, or wait a year.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!

N.