My 12 year old decided he wanted to play football this year after only playing once in 4th grade. When he played in 4th grade he never complained, went with a good attitude and did fine. Not a star athlete but he worked hard and did his best. I thought it would be the same experience this year but of course most of the boys that are on his team have continued to play since the grade school years so they are of course more skilled and have been on the team for 4 years now. It is a league not a school team and not one you have to "try out" for but they are very serious about their football. Practices are 3 to 4 times a week and involve a lot of running. My son is doing ok but of course not at the level of the veterans and he is pretty certain he isn't going to get to play in the games very much. We told him before signing up that it was going to be tough but that didn't seem to sink in. Now he is wants to quit because it is not what he expected. We haven't even gotten to the first game yet! My instincts are finish out the season even though the coaches are yelling at you, even though you have to run in 102 temps, even though you won't get to play much because you signed up and you aren't a quitter. Do you all think I am being too harsh? I would like to let him quit because it would certainly make my life easier but it just doesn't seem like the right move. Am I making too big a deal of this and should I let him quit something that he is miserable doing? What do you all think?
Okay ... I really already know the answer. I just had a weak moment. Wow 7th grade football is so tough but he will just have to make his way through it and if nothing else be proud of himself for "sticking it out."
We just had a similar question a few days ago. I thinks the same advice given there applies here: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/14382811551642025985
I am totally with you on this. My philosophy, and thankfully my husband supports this, is that if you made a commitment to the team you finish out the season. You don't have to play again, but by golly you finish what you started. This will help in future life skills. People who let their kids quit things mid-season after having spent tons of money on uniforms and equipment and then complain about it really chap my hide. I just cannot fathom this mindset. Sorry for the rambling, but this issue really gets to me.
I think you should sit down with your son and discuss the reasons he wants to quit in a very adult conversation because if he gets the message that you are "making him" finish what he started without really listening to him, he is going to start that teenage resentment and start blaming you for how miserable he is. The problem seems to be that your son doesn't hate playing football as a sport, he just hates being involved in something he isn't the best at. If your son had never tried football and after a few practices decided the game just wasn't for him, that would be one thing. But he wanted to play a sport he enjoys and now that this team experience is a lot harder than he thought, he doesn't feel like gutting it out. I agree that it doesn't seem right to let him quit just because it is hard. Explain to him it is his reasons for quiting that concern you. Tell him you would like to see him persevere to see if he surpasses his expectations (he might surprise himself) instead of guaranteeing he wont succeed by simply walking away after things got tough.
My son is a great athlete in my opinion but we have been told that by many other people too. We were asked "to move" so this son could play for a particular high school in our area. My point here is that at a very young age with all 4 of our boys we told them that if they start something, they must finish it and then after the season is over they don't have to play again. Our oldest played basketball for middle school for 3 years. His 8th grade year (last year) was an absolute disaster. The coach got thrown out of a game, our son was complaining constantly so I said just quit. It would have made things much easier on me. They had practice everyday after school and games 2 nights a week or every night for tournaments. His response was NO, I am not a quitter. I don't quit. I was extremely proud of him for finishing the season although it was not the best of circumstances. So I say stick to your guns and have him finish the season. If your son decides to play football for the school, he will have a better chance of making it if he has played before. Our son is the quarterback of the JV team, his first year of high school and back up for the Varsity team. We are extremely proud!!!
You need to stick to your guns and make him stick it out. Any guy who does not want to quit because of all the heat and running and vigorous things they have to do to get ready for football is crazy. But, once they start playing games the practices get somewhat easier, or they are just in better shape to handle it, they are always glad they stuck it out. Don't let him be a quitter. It will help him build strong character.
Follow your gut instinct and let him throw in the towel. Our son had the same circumstance and we ended up letting him quit before the 1st game. His coach called me personally on the phone and told me not to worry about it (he was a great coach!) ... this game isn't for everyone he said and if his heart and strength isn't in it, he shouldn't be forced to play. He'll enjoy the game much more from the sidelines and supporting the team in another manner. Please do the same for your son. It won't hurt his character building at all to realize that not everything works out that you thought might do so. Tell him sweetly to clean out his locker and you'll go watch the games from the stands together.
i absolutely agree with you. he definitely needs to finish out the season - who knows, it may become a passion for him regardless if he is riding the bench! definitely can't start the habit of quitting when it doesn't go your way. there is a huge life lesson in this one!
My husband is a coach and has been involved in sports since he was 4 years old. You NEVER quit a season (unless medically nessesary of course). I believe in this theory as well. Our kids 5 and 3 are getting interested in everything now and we allow them to try everything they want. Be it swimming, soccer, baseball, art classes...but you never quit. Our daughter did not like soccer, but she finished the season and when sign ups came around this year she didn't want to play this year. Fine with us...
The most important lesson you can teach your children is to finish what they start, whether it is a project at home or a season of football. You have to set your mind to it and see it through.
My son did the same thing. We told him that he had to a least go to the first game because he had worked so hard at the practices. Turns out that he loves the games just hates the practices. We just kept encouraging him. He is now in the 9th grade and "he loves the games just hates the practices".
