B.R.
I started letting my son hold the spoon himself as soon as he would reach for it when I would bring it to his mouth with food on it. In my experience, I have found spoons easier to start with, as my boys found it easier to scoop their food,instead of stabbing it with a fork. Once the spoon is mastered, the fork is a piece of cake! I started letting my youngest feed himself a banana I mashed up, and applesauce (give her sticky foods like that, that she loves, instead of cereal, which not many babies willingly will feed themselves. Hope that helps!
-B.