Spacing Between Your Kids?

Emme was 2 years and 3 months when Ellie was born and that seems like good spacing to me. It's crazy, no doubt, I sometimes forget to go to the bathroom it's so busy, but it's great! And I hope that they'll grow to have a super special relationship because they're close.

Hi A.,
My advice is coming from professional experience as well as watching my girl-friends go through what I had tried to help parents with prior to my new career as "mom". The best advice I have always given parents about spacing is to just not bring a new baby in when your other child is going to begin potty training. Babies both in diapers, fine. One child trying to be potty-trained and a new baby in the house is too much stress on the older child and will create personality, behavioral, self-esteem, and sibling issues. I highly encourage parents to either have their children close and/or have the first child securely potty-trained before introducing new baby.
I hope this helps in your prayer mission with God, hubby, daughter and life. Blessings, M. N.

Little girls tend to love babies :) I think as long as you as the parent do a good job giving love and attention to both (I'm sure you will! You're already worried about it and it's not even happened yet :) Good mommy!) they will get along well, no matter what the age differences. If the timing is good for you and your husband, then let that be all that matters.

My oldest was 4.5 when my baby was born. SHe is loving being a big sister, and absolutely dotes on her sister. She is a huge help with the baby (brings me stuff, shows her toys, holds her, feeds her (all with supervision of course, lol)). She is able to help me with her own chores, she is very independent and can get things for herself with I am feeding the baby, ect. I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. She had us to herself for 4 years, and I think it was very good for her. I also think maybe it was easier on me. Or maybe I am dragging out the years of harder work a little longer, who knows.

The only children I have lots of experience with that are closer together are my nephews. 23 months apart. THey also love each other, are great friends, and fight all the time, over toys, parents, attention, ect. It was hard having two kids in diapers, hard haveing a newborn and a 2 year old who still needed so much from his parents, a jealous 2 year old. That said, their mother describes it the same way, but also wouldn't change it for the world.

There are benefits to all the spacings between ssiblings. My only thought on it is have them closer together than 7 years. As far as birth order studies/information, once you get to 7 years it is like haveing two only children, they dont interact as much.

I know you've already had plenty of responses, but I had to smile when I saw what you wrote about how "we make plans and God laughs." I can SO relate!

My husband and I have a boy and a girl almost three years apart. We were a little worried about them getting along well, because my brother and I are the same number of months apart, and we fought ALL the time when we were young(although we're very close now!). And my youngest brothers and I (6.5 years apart) got along fine when we were younger.

Fortunately, our oldest two kids really got along pretty well, and it wasn't all that difficult to have two in diapers for the first couple months, despite everyone's warnings to the contrary.

Since it worked out so well the first time, we thought we'd start trying for another baby when my daughter was about 2. Well, despite our "plans," God had other things in mind, and baby #3 didn't come along until four years later!

Oddly, my eldest gets along pretty well with both the middle child (almost 3 years apart) and the youngest (almost 10 years apart), but the youngest and the middle child (almost 7 years apart) fight a LOT! (Opposite of my brothers and me!)

It didn't make my son any less easygoing to have a sister, and later, a brother. I think it did bring his "silliness" a little more to the forefront, though, because he loves to entertain his little brother! And despite the arguments between my daughter and our youngest son, it didn't change my daughter's personality, either. She's still the same sweet girl. ;-)

So, long story short, IMO, it's more about their personalities than age differences, and I don't think having a sibling will change your daughter's easygoing, fun personality--regardless of how far apart they are in age.

Oh, and about loving the next child: Yes, hard as it is to believe (until it happens), you will love the next child just as much--because love doesn't divide, it multiplies! ;-)

--A.

Hi A.,
Well I have 16 years, 7 years, 4 years and 2 years.
The 3 younger ones get along really well. My oldest one pretty much keeps to himself as the little kids bug him as he calls it. Now my 7 yr old and my almost 2 year old - he hugs her and loves her, comforts her when she cries or mommmy gets on to her. My 7 year old and my 4 year old are peas and carrots, they do everything together. Including when they get mad at each and they tell each other "you're not my best firend any more", so cute. As for my 4 yr old and my 2 yr old, they get along really good also, she helps her get up to the table for dinner, helps her wash her hands and all that good stuff. When my 3rd child turned 2 I was 4 months along with my 4 th child. When my 4th was born in November, my 3rd was 2 1/2 and we had been potty training but I waited until my 4th child was 4 months old to potty train my almost 3 year old. She was potty trained 2 months before her 3rd birthday.
As for how far apart I would say anywhere between 16 months (of the older one) and no farther apart then 4 years. My oldest son and my second son are not close at all and all they do is fight and argue. Anyway, hope that helps, W. B.

My children are 26 month apart and while it was hard at times, it wasn't a bad spacing. That said, they are 3 & 5 now and we are considering a 3rd. If I had to do it again, I may have waited just a few more months so they would be 2 1/2-3 years apart. It worked out fine at 2, but a little longer might have been nice.

I have 2 kids and one on the way in March.My son was 3 yrs old when I had my daughter and that was a good age he was pottied trained and did well for himself minded me in the store no more stroller,now my daughter is 19 months old and found out were are going to have a 3rd child i'm nervous she'll only be 2 yrs old my son 51/2 she is a hand full and you can't keep your eye off of her.But this is my last chance to have a baby i'm 28 yrs old and by the time I turn 31 I have decided that there will be no more babies I want to spend some volunteer time in my sons school and do things for him and each of the other children as well and besides after 31 i'll fell to old to have another one.But if God were to send me another gift i'd gladly accept it.

I always thought that 2-3 years apart was just right. Then, as you said, God laughed. My girls are 19 months apart and I have one on the way which will make 3 in 3 1/2 years. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. My girls are so close. They love eachother to piece and play so well together, most of the time. There are definately moments when it is hard but I know that would be the case no matter what their ages were. I have nieces that are 2 1/2 to 3 years apart that we spend time with all the time and even though they get along pretty well for the most part, I don't think that they are as close. Instead of being in the same stages at the same time, one is getting out of a stage just as one is coming into it and this causes tention between them. Ultimately, I believe this is totally out of our control but looking back, I'm glad mine are close together.

I have a 3 1/2 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 11 month old. So 17 months between the first and the middle child and 15 months between the middle and last child. So 32 months between them all. The oldest 2 are starting to play with each other which is really nice and I can see as the get older they will all play well together. We have friends who have 3 girls in 35 months and she said it is nice because they are all interested in the same things at about the same time so all of them were into Dora, then Princesses,& then Barbie. So they all played well together. Also when they go to an amusement park they are all close enough in age they do the same things. (So you don't have to take one to the kiddie area and one to the older area) So I think 2 to 2 1/2 years between kids is really good and will also be better for your daughter to have a sibling earlier than later because they don't get too spoiled being the only child for awhile.

good luck getting pregnant

M.

Hi A.! My kids are 4 years apart. We had planned for 3 years difference, but #2 took a little longer to happen than we thought! haha It has been perfect! Yes, there will be a day soon that my son (5) won't want his little sister (1) to have anything to do with him, but for right now, they're inseparable! My son was out of all the baby/toddler stuff long before a new baby was here. We didn't have to deal with any of the regression whatsoever, and he was old enough to mostly understand what was going on and understand his own feelings towards it. We haven't experienced any of the acting out, jealousy, etc. I don't think they will fight much as they get older either. My siblings and I are all 3-3 1/2 years apart, and we didn't fight like crazy. Sure, we squabbled here and there, but none of the mean, voilent fighting a lot of kids do. We all played together well, but our interests were enough different, we didn't fight over wanting the same stuff. If we have another, it will be at least 3 years younger than my 1 year old!

Hi A. -

I like your post/question. It's a good question with many possible answers. My children are 5 1/2 years apart. It's been great. My daughter was old enough to help her little brother and mature enough to be able to understand when Mommy was tired and needed a nap, brother was crawling so we couldn't have little things lying around, etc. She was actually a really big help and old enough to enjoy him and remember him being born and such. I don't believe there is any magical age and believe me - they still fight being far apart in age. But, they fight when they are close in age also so it doesn't seem to make any difference really. I DEFINITELY agree that having them too close together can create extra stress. I have seen many moms with babies 15 months/2 years apart and wow, I would not trade places with them ever. It takes a lot to go places when you have two that little in tow. And I personally would not want to try and potty train with also having to care for a newborn and diapers and all. But, again, that is just my own personal opinion. My sister had her kids almost 3 and 1/2 years apart. I thought if you want to have your kids close together that that is a good starting place. My niece was potty trained and had good discipline and routine in place by then so it made it a little easier on my sister. Anyway, best of luck for your family - I am sure between your careful thoughts and God's planning that everything will fall into place as intended. : ) God Bless!

I think being sure the first one is potty trained is an awesome idea. My mom always told my sister and me to be sure to wait 3 years between kids because it's not fair to the baby you already have to have ANOTHER baby. Let the first one be a baby. Did my sister listen to her???? NO!! She had her kids 15 months apart? Does she regret it? YES!!! I know moms here will tell you they had their kids close together and they are the best of friends. My sister and I are 3 years apart and are the best of friends. Do yourself a favor and wait until the oldest one is potty trained (or try to plan it for around that time). You won't regret it.