Sorry! Didn't Mean to Offend Anyone. Just Asking for Fun :-( I Wasn't Offended.

Updated on May 11, 2011
L.D. asks from Newport Beach, CA
23 answers

Imagine 2 women. You do not know either one that well. One is tall, thin, blonde, has large chest due to breast augmentation, dresses trendy and cute. The other is shorter, medium build, brown hair, never wears make-up, wears sweats a lot and is content not taking a shower everyday. Both are married with kids. If someone were to ask you which of the 2 you think is likely to cheat on her spouse, which would you choose?

Answer before reading further…..

Woman #1 is exactly how another woman described me. Woman #2 exactly describes my best friend.

We were talking to a woman who cheated on her husband. She is now divorced. My friend commented “Oh well we know about THAT (meaning about cheating)” This woman looks at me and says “You’ve cheated on your husband I bet” and I immediately asked her why out of the 2 she thought I did, and she said because of the way I look and commenced to described me as I did above.

In reality, my friend cheated on her husband for about 3 years.

Me. Have never committed adultery, have been married 12 years and my husband and I are happy and have a fantastic sex life. We still have date nights once a month. I try to look my best for my husband!

This woman said never in a million years would she have thought it was my friend! SHEESH!!!!

So, what was your answer to my question above? Would you think it was me too?????

By the way, my girlfriend and I are STILL laughing about this! =-)

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well we weren't in any way laughing about the cheating. Just the fact that this women sterotyped me I find humorous because I have so much integrity in my marriage the thought of me cheating is preposterous.

Gosh I hope no one else take this post so seriously! Sorry!

Mommy B. Thank you! Yes it was meant as more of a JFF type of question =-)

ABM = no I didn't slap her but the thought crossed my mind! LOL! She wasn't trying to insult me anyway. It's all good!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well, people of all types have sex, and people of all types have sex with someone other than their spouse. More than half of all men, and almost half of all women will have an affair at some point in their lives. This woman was operating under false stereotypes.

This story should get a good debate going here, though! Should a woman go to extra effort to look good for her husband/partner? What if she looks TOO good, then what? Are people who are seen as "attractive" having more sex than those who are not? He he...

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A..

answers from Kansas City on

As you know, you can't make that assumption w/o knowing someones character first. Just because someone happens to be attractive, does not mean that they are cheaters, it simply means that others will find them attractive, therefore, give them the "opportunity" to cheat. The other woman described...well, I guess there is someone (or 2) for everyone!!

As far as the accusor...did you haul off and slap her? What an idiotic thing to say!!!! Some people need to have their mouths sewn shut!! :)

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, maybe mom #2 is fed up, not feeling loved or appreciated, let heself go? therefore has maybe gotten in a rut... maybe the marriage has too? So MAYBE her...

lots of "maybes" LOL... didn't read your second part yet OR the other responses... look forward to the other info!

PS: I TOTALLY would not cheat, but just so you moms know that I'm not being mean about mom #2's description... I'll have you know it describes ME WAAAAY closer in the looks area than mom #1. But, I'm super happy with basically everything right now, and I'm totally nuts over my husband:)

Just guessin! No judgements!

UPDATED... I read the rest:) Am I the only one that answered the question you asked? LOL:) Ladies, I think it was meant as a JFF very light-subject. That is what I took it as, is why I answered the question:)

Of COURSE, looks have nothing to do with it! It is all about ones situation, character, spouse, marriage, circumstances, etc...

7 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

What in the world does 'cheating' have to do with what you look like?

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Honestly, neither. I think you can't judge a person by the way they look to determine if they will cheat or not. I think their actions speak volumes instead of the way they dress.

M

5 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Umm...I did what you said, I haven't read anything else. I have no idea who would cheat. We could say either one. what does their physical appearance have to do with anything? Whichever one doesn't value her husband, children, life is the one that will cheat.
L.

5 moms found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't judge people on their looks, only on their actions. Im also not rude enough to insinuate or outright ask if someone has/is cheating. It's not info I would want to know.

Im sorry you were judged, don't give it another thought. Their are so many people in this world who make assumptions. We all know how that old saying goes.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

I have learned enough about life, to know what someone looks like to the outside world has little to do with the state of a marriage. People of all different looks, religions, philosophies, cultures...cheat. Cheating comes from selfishness, insecurity, bad communication, a break down of a relationship. The most conventionally beautiful people in the world have cheated, and the most unconventional people have cheated.

Unfortunately, woman who choose to update, or in their minds improve their appearance...automatically get slapped with an "easy, insecure, questionable character" label. Now, I don't agree with this...at all. I think it's a pretty petty thing and stupid judgment woman make, actually!! I think woman do this WAY more then men.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Provo on

Cheating is about insecurities and no one can really fully judge a book by it's cover.

3 moms found this helpful

M..

answers from St. Louis on

I dont think it has a thing to do with looks. I think actions speak way louder. I personally think some woman that are desperate for attention and always touchy feely with other men would be a cheater rather than a more confident layed back person. I would never assume someone would cheat based on what they look like.

I totally agree with Carrie P.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that a MAN would be more likely to cheat with someone who looks like you than with someone who looks like your friend. But in no way do I think that how you look indicates the likelihood that YOU will cheat on YOUR husband. For the one who is cheating, I don't think there is any correlation between looks and actions.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would not and could not judge based on looks, that is not something I do in general. I would need to understand personality and really I do not think there is a "type" for a cheater either.

3 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I was listening to a radio show a few months ago and the question was "Should a person who marries a partner MORE attractive than them EXPECT to get cheated on?" The overwhelming majority opinion of those who called in was yes.

I think the assumption is there for obvious reasons. More attractive people who care more about their looks are probably going to get hit on more, especially women by men. Therefore, that opens the door for the opportunity for unfaithfulness and just makes it that much easier to cheat.

Personally, I wouldn't assume either way. Ugly people have sex all the time. Guess that makes them just as likely to cheat.

3 moms found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i think that someone with habits like your friend may be less content in their life, therefore making it more likely she would go looking for fulfillment elsewhere. a happy person takes care of themselves better i think. was she making the comment in ignorance, thinking that a "hot" woman would sleep around just because she's hot and could get more men? because men are SERIOUSLY NOT that picky lol...no offense against your friend (i would describe myself more like her than you in actuality) i find it odd that you guys would laugh about cheating though...or that the three of you would discuss it so casually. is there no shame there? that part kind of saddens me, although i know that's not what your question was about. there are a lot of us less than perfect types who have been cheated ON and don't find the subject too funny, in any way.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

As I read your descriptions I saw two ppl...my best friend and me. She is tall, skinny and well kept. I am short, pudgy and I put make up on once a day, when it's gone it's gone...

Just because I am carrying a few extra pounds, and she is not; does not make her the "more secure" one. In reality she is far less secure with herself than anyone I know. I am happy and fullfilled within my marriage my job my whole life. I would never cheat on my husband...and to say that someone like me is insecure is RIDICULOUS...I am simply too busy to bother!

Now that said she is not a cheater either.

I don't believe in the stereotyping...cheaters come in all shapes, sizes, make up, no make up, background, fat, skinny, rich and poor.

I'm sorry this lady chose to use some stereotype to describe you...I feel sorry for her closed mind! and others on this site who are right there with her!

2 moms found this helpful

J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

no, I wouldnt think it was you... I dont think cheating & looks are connected. If they were, I'd think the one that doesnt look after herself so well may be the one needing the ego boost.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I would not have presumed to have guessed that either of you (as described) to have been more likely to have cheated. That's because I choose to believe the best in people until I have a reason not to and I try to deal with the information I have. I'm almost always shocked when someone confesses to me that they've cheated on their significant other and/or been the person someone in a committed relationship cheated with.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I think people cheat to get validation, people secure in themeselves dont need validation. The kept up with women is more likely to be secure in herself, but that does not mean that all women who are pretty and kept up with are secure or that unkempt women arent. its just that the numbers are more eager to point to the frumpier women cheating.

at least in my opinion.

2 moms found this helpful

J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Considering how easy it was for people in my parish to believe I cheated on my husband instead of the other way around I picked your friend. Not sure why when it is important to stay in shape and well, look good, people assume you are trolling. Then my ex is fat and lazy so I must have done him wrong.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I would think the one all dolled up was not because usually the husband has said or made it known that he wants a wife that looks that way and she wants to as well (or isn't against it). The other one feels neglected but is happy in the skin she has.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.P.

answers from New York on

I 100% said the Blond woman.. not to be offensive at all.. but only in the way you described her (you) because I happen to be one of the.. brunette, medium build kinda girl and I have never cheated or wanted to. However my friend who is everything you described (except also brunette not blond) is a bigtime cheater. so I think it has alot to do with personal experience and how you perceive people.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Dallas on

I would assume that a woman who is married and works hard to keep herself up is doing that for her husband. Not saying your friend doesn't keep herself or that she is more likely to cheat... more that neither of your appearances would lead me to an opinion one way or another. Actually just heard that my totally trashy looking neighbor that looks like she has to smell like a man's sock & always wears hats, combat boots & torn up t-shirts is cheating on her husband (with a man)..... go figure?

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions