Son Will Not Stay Asleep.

Keep him in the swing the bouncer the stroller(stay outside and enjoy the day) he doesn't have to sleep in a crib mine wouldn't sleep anywhere but a laundry basket. If the fusing gets to you do chores in another part of the house to muffle the crying.

C.,
Having a new baby is very overwhelming. First, you ARE NOT spoiling him. I don't think it is possible at this stage. You are just a new, young mother trying to figure out how to best care for your son.
I have two children one of which was a fantastic sleeper (slept through the night starting at 6 weeks). My second child was soooooooooo different. He just turned two and only started sleeping through the night at a year and a half! We were so spoiled with the first we didn't realize how good we had it!
Newborns are just that, new! Their bodies are changing and they are adjusting to their environment. Their systems are sensitive and they can be fussy.
To get him to sleep, I think your son needs to fall asleep in his crib rather than your arms so he knows where he is when he goes to sleep. That way when he awakes ( be it ten minutes later or two hours), he will be in the same secure place he was when he went to sleep. Right now, he wakes, notices your absence, and cries.
I suggest a routine of going to his room at the same time each night (if possible) giving him a bottle or nursing, and rocking until he is settled but not asleep. Then, place him in his crib. Give him five minutes then check in if he is fussing. Don't pick him up just comfort him with your words. Continue with this until he is asleep. It may be hard at first and may take several check ins for several nights. I find that children do best with routines and even babies have a good sense of routine.
I think the most important thing to remember is that you will become more confident with your mothering as time passes. Whether one is a young mother or an older first time mom (like
I was) becoming a mom is a amazing but overwhelming job. With time it will all work out. I think the first few months are hardest because it is all so new for everyone. Good luck.

Hi C.!
my son is alomst three months old (2mos 3wks) and he was doing the same thing...the doctor diagnosed him with reflux. he also behaved the same way...not wanting to be put down etc. he just recently started to lay down by himself...what i did was after he ate, i held him upright for about 15 min.( if your son is colicky or has reflux holding him upright helps out with the discomfort) he usually fell asleep but then i would just put him down. he would squirma nd fuss a little but he would mostly just fight his way back to sleep. You aren't spoiling him...that is impossible at this age. the only way he can communicate is to cry and get your attention...
As the muscle that is associated with the reflux matures, it gets better...letting him cry for a little bit is ok...i found that it aggravated the reflux in my son...let your instincts be your guide. you have them for a reason.
My godmother gave me an old home remedy for the colic/reflux..it is called Gripe Water...it is sweet and workd wonders! If you don't want to do the Gripe Water I found that a half of a 1/4 teaspoon of sugar diluted in one ounce of distilled water (room temp) works just as well...Good luck!
(I kow that babies are supposed to sleep on their backs, but because of the reflux, my son would gag and struggle to breathe in his sleep. I lost some sleep, but I started putting him to sleep on his belly...once he was asleep, i turned him on his side so far it is still working...if you do this DO NOT leave him unattended.)

I wouldkeep trying diffrent things to figure out what works for him. My own son till he was about 6 months old would only sleep in the swing in watching of Fantasia. His twin brother was very good about go to sleep and rarely fussed. Now a few years later the cranky one turned out to be the better sleeper. Also have you considered babywearing? Thats when you use a sling carrier so that the baby is snuggled close to you and then he feels comforted and you can still get some things done around the house if you need to. Also I wouldn't worry too much about co-sleeping I have read studies that show babies who co-sleep actually have a steadier heart rate and breathing. Something else I just thought of is that I have heard that other moms have somehow been able to secure their baby in a carrier on top of the dryer and they sleep great their. Which makes sense, since it would be a combination of white noise, vibration, and heat.
As far as crying it out even the great Ferber has changed his position on it and agrees that you should not let your baby do it.

I am a 61yr old mom of 3. My youngest (a boy) was a very difficult sleeper - his sisters were not - he didn't sleep through the night until he was 19 months old. The first time he did it I woke up around 4 AM and rushed into his room hysterical....I thought he was dead!!!!!

I suggest you try that sling thing that all the young moms are wearing nowadays..I think it would have helped my son during the day.

I'm not sure what to say for the nighttime problem. To this day, my daughter-in-law tells me my son is a horrible sleeper..up several times a night (he's 26). Some people just need a lot less sleep than others. One thing that did help get him to sleep as a baby, was rocking and patting his back. As a young child we found he suffered from severe migraine headaches. Wonder if he had them as a baby? Unfortunately, little ones can't tell us what hurts.

Good luck....I know it doesn't help much when you are living through it, but you will both survive....and like my son and I, you might even laugh about it one day!

When I first had my daughter I'd thought that she'd be colicky... She'd wake up and cry for no reason that I could figure out. Eventually the doctor said (and it had nothing to do w/ her crying) that she had GURD. The baby might be gassy and or have an acid reflux. I was so surprised as to how many moms are facing this and it solve the issue. At first we had to give my baby milk w/ cereal in it at like 2 mo. I was like What ?? But it worked better and she was at ease. But for a few months we did have to use a baby acid reducer in her bottles 3 x a day ... then it went to just once in the morning and she had stopped now since she was 8 months. But she sleeps amazing through the night. No longer colicky as those couple of 1st weeks. she's a good baby. Doesn't cry . Loves grandma and grandpa and sleeps on visits w/ them too. Hope all goes well and your issue resolved

C.,
Good for you not letting him cry! He is 8 weeks, not 8 years old! He is not spoiled and you are a loving, caring Mama. So many people told me I was spoiling my baby, and now they see him, they think he is so happy! I went (and go) to my son when he cries!

I haven't read very far, but have you checked out whether he's teething at all, too? Drooling is a good sign, and fingers in the mouth. Interesting note: I wash my hands, but let them air dry before putting them in his mouth. He rejected the water that was on them once. First time I tried this, he clamped down a few times, then was smiling. I didn't think they'd start teething (the teeth moving around, not just popping out) at 3 months! This would explain the waking out of the blue.

I didn't see anything about formula vs breastfeeding? Formula I have no experience with. BF can be interesting! Just don't forget to eat. Garlic is in just about EVERYTHING, I've found.

Movement - if you didn't stop moving when you were pregnant, except for sleep, then your DS (dear son) is going to associate movement more than ever with being safe. If you don't have a swing, you may wish to purchase or find one (and with different directions for swing, too - for a while my DS wouldn't tolerate cradle swing, only side-to-side).

Movement - sling will help a bit too. Does he like to face out all the time? Or cradle all the time?

You think he's having a growth spurt - Has he been eating more?

There are some massage techniques for colic too - just learned the I Love You technique, though I don't think I could describe it adequately. There are massage classes here in Rochester, too.

I know this can't have been much help, I just wanted most to say good for you, holding your baby, and not letting him cry. This is so important for him learning that he can trust you.

C.,

I don't think that your son is spoiled...I think he just has different needs than what you expected. Honestly, it sounds to me like you would benefit from a sling. Go to www.naturalfamilyboutique.com/?L. to check some out.

A sling would allow you to hold your sleeping baby while you get other things done. Just think of how much less frustrating it will be for you if your baby is able to get the sleep he needs and you are able to get some work done! I am slinging a baby right now as I type. She is sleeping peacefully in a front position so I can look at her cute little face every once in a while, too. Anyway, give it a try!

Hope it all works out for you!

L.

Your baby is a BABY not a three-year old spoiled child. Everyone of them is different. Yours needs to be close to you right now and jostled and that is normal and okay. It will not last forever. Get a harness of some kind-not an expensive one, the best are made of just cloth and swaddle very comfortably for both you and baby. If he cries that means he needs you. You cannot spoil a baby. It is psychologically impossible.

HI C.,

Mine was the same way! She is 7 months now. She hated the bassinet that we had at first, she would only sleep on me. I would come down at 2am and sleep with her on me, for a long time. Then we tried the crib one night, she was up anyway, so we tried and she slept there. So we went with it. Nighttime is no problem, during the day, she wont sleep there that long. So where ever she sleeps is good for us. I don't care as much anymore. They eat when they eat, and sleep when they sleep. I used a swing 100% for 5 months, I would do the same, it was a life saver. He/she needs more time before they can sleep on their own. Take care. Alison

Hi C.!
I had the exact same problem with my daughter. She was very tough to get to stay asleep. I found a couple of things that I carried over into when I had my son that worked like a charm.
First of all, this is probably due to a growth spurt, and Mason is starting to "wake up" out of that baby coma a bit and notice the world around him, so he's wanting more stimulation. That's not a bad thing, it's just you have to teach him when it's ok to get that stimulation.

I found the baby Pappasan bouncy seat helped my son to stay asleep for longer stretches. He even slept in it, at night, for the first month and a half! I kept it right next to the bed with a lot of white noise blaring nearby.

Also, if he just won't stay down, there is always the Baby Bjorn. I started with it early on with my son, to get him used to it, and he would just fall right asleep in it for a while. I could get a bunch done, and he was getting sleep, which would help him stay more alert for his next feeding and play session...(then he would sleep better for the next nap; it's like a cycle)..

I found the best pattern to start was the EASY method...Eat, Activity (which could be as simple as change a diaper if they're really sleepy) Sleep..YOU! If you stimulate them a bit after they eat, they tend to be more ready for a nice nap afterwards, and that helps them stay down. Also, get a really cool mobile and the Ocean wonders crib aquarium. Even when my son woke up, I'd let him hang out in his crib for a few minutes (I'd stretch it a minute or two more each time) and let him look around. After a while, he just got so accustomed to being in there, that even if he did wake up, he wouldn't panic and cry, he could amuse himself!

Good luck and don't worry...it's a very short period of time that it's like this, and I don't think you're spoiling him at all!! Colic is tough; my son had it...you're doing great!!!

Since he is colicky it is harder for him to sleep with a sore tummy. You can make him some Fennel or Anise water. Both can be found in the spice aisle of most stores. You just boil about 1-2 tsp of the seeds in a small pan of water for about 5-10 minutes. Cool it off, take out the seeds and give it to him in a bottle a couple times a day. It will take him a little getting use to it but you can add just a little bit of sugar if need be. I found that Fennel water worked better than most gas drops on the market and really helped out alot especially with my refluxer. I didn't find out that my son had reflux until he was 3 1/2 mnths old and then was put on meds. Until then the fennel was somewhat of a lifesaver. If you son is on medication for reflux you can still use the fennel water without it affecting the meds. Good luck!!

Hi C.,
My second daughter had colic. I remember that the first three months of her life were a complete blur to me as her sleeping schedule was awful! An aquaintance of mine is a nurse at a pediatric office and I saw her when my daughter was about 3 months old and she told me to ask my pediatrician for a prescription called Levsin(not sure of the spelling). It saved my life! I don't know if it was a coinsidence that my daughter was sleeping more or the medicine actually worked! I really believe it was the medicine as she was able to get on a sleeping schedule within a few days after starting it. It is just a thought to bring up when you speak with your pediatrician next.
Good luck,
Jen

Hi C., my daughter is 9 weeks old and a lot of the time has the same issue. I would think it is most likely an early growth spurt...my daughter went through it last week and unluckily it coincided with her 2 month shots and super early teething...has your son had them yet (the shots)? If you think that he is in pain you could try some infant tylenol...that is all that got us through the week. I think at this early of an age you should not be letting your son cry it out imo he is way to you for that type of self soothing (from what Ive read it shouldnt be tried until 5-6 months minimum)

Have you tried driving your son around in the car? With my dd that will knock her right out...walks in the stroller work a lot of the time too. If you have a clothes dryer at home, strap him into the car seat and put it ontop of the running dryer (just stay next to him the entire time the seat could vibrate off).

Is your son breast or formula fed? If breastfed try eliminating dairy from your diet to sooth his colicy stomach. If formula fed try soy or hyrdroslate formulas such as Alimentum or Nutramigen (expensive but worth every penny).

You can also try posting this on a more active board such as the Parenting board on the Nest (www.thenest.com). It is also a more interactive board and you might meet some moms closer to your area that can be of better help locally.

Best of luck if you have any more questions you can email me at ____@____.com

1St. all new babys are spoiled dont let anyone tell you differnet. your not doing anything that no one else has done.

2nd he's only 8weeks and things could bother him. he may not be feelin well. he may be to hot to cold. kids cant tell you.

3rd your doin the right things.

trry proping him on his side or elevating his basinet or sleep area a little. and talk to the doc. thy sometimes can be helpful. but the truth my son rarely took naps. and i kept him in a chair in front of tv (music( or toys.
good luck and ignore idiots.

I wouldn't say that your son is spoiled at all. You can't expect an 8 week old to sleep in any sort of pattern. If he is colic, then you are going to probably have problems with him sleeping until the colic goes away. My brother was very colicky and my mom said that for about 2 months he was terrible to get to sleep. He would only fall asleep if she was standing up and moving, (not sitting) and if he was in the car. Unfortunately I think that you have to ride this one out. Maybe try switching his formula. Good Luck!!

hi C.,

i hear you i went threw the same thing with my 2nd oldest daughter. it will pass eventually. since you mentioned he has colic try gas drops and i know drs say don't put them on their stomach but that helps. none of my girls would sleep in their back or sides. also try recording your vaccum cleaner and playing the tape when u lay him down. the only way my daughter would sleep was in her swing or in my arms for the 1st 4 months.but most of all you need to find someone that can come visit once in a while to play with him so u can do the things u want to get done.

a little about me i'm 28 years old mother to 4 girls 10,9,7 and 4

C. you cannot spoil your baby enought at 8 weeks old. He is unsure about his surroundings and needs you. Some babies take time to adjust. :) enjoy him and remember you can't spoil him enough right now :)))

M.

Hi! First off I'm going to tell you that imo you are not spoiling your son! My son went through almost the same thing! In the long run, it was my son's medical condition (he was born with a congential birth defect called Pierre Robin Sequence) that was causing minor sleep apena for him, related to absence of movement (I would hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep, then put him in his crib and he would wake up almost instantly). I am not saying that this is the same thing that your son is facing, however I would recommend that you talk to his pediatrician, as it could be related to his colic.

Does he suffer from reflux also?

A simple, tempory solution you might want to try until your son is able to see his pediatrician is to put an old pillow under the mattress in his crib (start off with only one, at the end where your son's head is...if it's a very flat pillow then try two -- try not to let the matress go above a 12 - 15 degree angle). I say this because it was one of the first things I was told to do by Arthurs pediatrician. There were a lot of theories about why he was waking up, among them: ear infection, reflux, digestive pain, etc. I am lucky Arthur has a peditrician who cares and didn't just brush me off (and in all honesty great insurance that allowed for a hospital stay and a sleep study to be done). I wish you luck with this!

Hi C.,
I went trough the same thing when my son hit the same age. But I’ll give you a life saving tip…. One of my friends realized that I didn’t get my son an automatic swing, so she went ahead ignoring my requests that it was waist of money and got me the fisher price one. Now the greatest thing about that swing… hehehe, it rimes… was that it had a motion and sound monitor. Translated, after way too many sleepless nights I finally gave in and after feeding him placed him in to the swing. It started swinging and playing soft music, I positioned the swing right next to my head and watched him look up at the swings speakers (but he didn’t make a peep). I don’t know who of us fell a sleep firs, but as I realized that my eyes were closed I woke up to realize he was fast a sleep and I was able to pick him up and move him in to his crib. Now he is almost 6 months and he doesn’t need the swing any more, but he still loves to play in it. That swing saved my life few months ago. Give it a try.
Good luck,
A. R.

First I want to say that there is NO WAY you spoiled your 8 week old son. No way! Babies should be held & and nurtured. I wouldn't be letting him cry at that age b/c he's too small- he can't selfsoothe yet. Your son sounds like my daughter did at that age, minus the colic. BTW she still wakes up frequently & she's almost 5 months old! When she was small I had trouble getting her to sleep unless she was in my arms- but she didn't like the car at all & wouldn't sleep in the swing or bouncy seat. I was stuck holding her if I wanted her to nap. I bought a wrap which has helped a lot (it's a Gypsy Mama Bali Breeze wrap & I got it from www.attachedtobaby.com) b/c if I have things to do I wear her & it's nice when I go out too. My daughter cosleeps with us for part of the night also- she used to sleep with us all the time. It has only gotten easier to move her away from us more recently. Baby sleep habits change I think. I think that babies were so close to you for 9 months- why would they want anything different now? He is still little though to really expect anything from him. It will get better. Try to wear him & don't get frustrated. If he cries, pick him up! You are doing a great job I'm sure & just keep it up. :)

Hi C. B
I know it is hard but have u tried putting music on I use Smart Symphonies Enfamill put it out. I dont know if they still have it but u can call them at 1-800-BABY123, I use to leave it on all nite very soothing. Also have u tried a hot water bottle on his belly I have done that to. You also should try to go listen to music in another room for 5-10 minutes if u can I know its hard but maybe that will work. Let ur doc know what going on some babys get hyernias from crying to much. Let me know how u make out Good Luck Esta

Hi, I am a Mother of 3 teenagers, Two of my youngest were both colic. I used the swing and that was the only thing that worked for me. I spent hours of sleepless nights and cried along with him because I felt helpless. I wish I had mama source to get suggestions when they were babies. oh and during the day I used the sling in order to take care of my oldest child and other responsiblities. Good luck I know just what you are going through.

Your not spoiling him, your just a concerned mommy. However, you may not want to start the habit of him falling asleep in your arms. The sleep habits you create now are the ones your setting up for later in life. If you don't get him use to that now then it will be more difficult to break him of it later. And when he gets older and still wakes in the night, he won't be equipped to help himself fall back asleep, because he needs to do that in your arms. And trust me, my son is 2.5 yrs and he still almost never sleeps through the night (he wakes up and wants his binky. When he gets the replacement he goes right back to sleep. But I'm in there almost every night for that). Also, let him cry. It isn't going to hurt him or you. There are going to be times when you can't jump up and go running, he needs to learn to expect that. It's also his form of communication, and if you learn to anticipate his every need and he doesn't learn to use his voice, then he won't. You will learn the difference in his cries, for when he's in pain or annoyed, and act accordingly.