K.,
First of all, let me say that I am so sorry. I know how difficult it is when you find out that your baby is "different" somehow. Remember that things could be worse (how cliche, huh? but still true!)
Luckily, you live in a fairly urban area where plenty of food options are available. My daughter is allergic to Red #40, which is in virtually EVERYTHING and here are the steps I have taken to make my life easier:
1- Find support for yourself (and as he gets older, for him too) even if it is online. These groups are pretty common now and easy to find if you do a search on them at google.
They will help you cope as things come up that seem difficult, let you vent your stress, and give you ideas and advice as you need it. They also help you understand/remember that you and your son are not the only ones!
2- Find grocery stores close to home. We shop at Whole Foods, which is WONDERFUL for carrying brands that have no nuts/wheat... all the common allergies. Just ask and they will walk to the aisle you need- they are very knowledgeable and helpful here. You will soon learn the brands you can and can't buy. For specialty items, you can usually find them online. Try stores like GNC and Fruitful Yield, etc. Most organic groceries will have some items you buy... you just have to shop around!
3- Search restaurants and make a list of ones you can go to, or who have their menu set up to tell you what ingredients they use.
4- Tell everyone, or better yet: buy a medical alert bracelet or necklace. If this allergy is a life-risking one, you have to let everyone know... and remember that people will forget or not ask you before they hand him a package of M&M's! It can be exhausting, but constant reminders to everyone can save his life. Don't forget to update records everywhere- preschool, church, babysitter, pharmacy, doctor's offices, dentist, etc.
5- Beware of certain vaccinations- he won't be able to get certain shots because they contain eggs. Ask and ask again. I have a nephew who is allergic to eggs and he can't receive a flu shot. Always double check online or with the nurse and doctor... checking and checking again is not a bad idea. Do the same for meds- check once with dr and again with pharmacist. (I've saved myself like this more than once... sometimes one just doesn't know!)
6- Make a certain cabinet in the kitchen that is for okay snacks, and/or a certain shelf in the fridge. My daughter has learned by now which things are okay to eat and what to NEVER eat. They catch on quickly and learn to ask!
Things will be okay... in fact, the added benefit for me since learning my daughter has allergies, is that I read labels for the whole family now and we ALL eat better for it!
Hope this helped,
Amanda (____@____.com)